dying inside a little

I’m going to find and start going to a dementia support group. I can’t spend all my spare cycles whining to Jeff and mOm and expect to actually improve in my ability to cope with it. I need strategies and people going through this to provide their experiences. Yesterday was very humbling and I wish I was a better person. I need better strategies on what to say to Paul when he starts talking about driving again.

It was a nice walk. Gut punch that Cobbs Bakery is gone from Market Crossing. I was going to bring croissants home to my excellent housemate and nah girl it’s gone.

I also need to incorporate social activities with Paul in a proper schedule and quit doing the by guess and by god thing; Mondays and Wednesdays look good for various reasons.

I am continuing to make assumptions about our family situation without cause, and getting bit in consequence. I’ve been up for hours stewing.

Twitter told me I exceeded my post limit for the day. Which wasn’t true, but it happened to almost everybody else on twitter yesterday. The outrage this morning is as predictable as it is weary.

Persistent hiccups. 17766 words. Suzanne’s coming today and all I can think about is how I was so interested in following Paul around that I didn’t do all my own errands so now I have to make a quick cash stop this morning. At least I put gas in the Echo yesterday, it was bone dry.

I literally have to pacify myself for a few minutes if I’m leaving the house in the car. If Jeff is driving not so much but Paul’s new behaviour is relentlessly critiquing my driving and strangely getting my own fed back to me is not cheering me up. Because of course in the Before Times I was on Paul all the time about it….

Some dude named Mic Wright in UK @brokenbottleboy on twitter has made a journalism about all the nepo journalists in the UK AND You Would Think He’d Killed his Mam on the basis of the parade of butthurt journos dragging themselves like sentient target practice through his feed. Here’s the link, and it keeps changing. He added a professional magician to the list mostly out of spite, since literally people are texting him and asking to be added while others mock him for doing it and telling him ‘he’ll never work in journalism’ and it’s like YOU FUCKING IDIOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT THIS IS??? LIKE SERIOUSLY are you the stupidest person in the world besides me?

So I’ve been avoiding watching the Supernatural spinoff the Winchesters because that show tore my heart out through my solar plexus and I don’t need more, so I’m laughing this morning about how the writers really messed up by (checks notes) burning a Golem in an oven and let’s just say that throwing a NOTABLY JEWISH supernatural monster INTO AN OVEN was a big whoopsie and the fandom is shuffling its feet and saying ah guys antisemitism but not in a mean way because everyone’s scared of the irrational fuckers who run the network. So I’m just here to say if this is accurately represented yes it’s antisemitism. It was bad yesterday too. I predict it will continue bad, since antisemitism is the first structural member of a modern fascist.

Told a rich white guy on twitter to stick to aviation because as a semioticist he bites burls, so that tells you how particularly ‘squid with spicy salt’ I am this morning. He was fucking bloviating about AI.

ANFSCD: If your children aren’t drug addicts and voluntarily speak to you, please be grateful. You don’t know how good you have it.

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Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

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