two dead popes and a mother theresa

enough sleep
2005-04-21— Posted by: allegra

Mariah Carey debuts at No. 1? Drop the hammer NOW, God. I don’t know how many more apocalyptic signs we can get before the earth splits like a dropped tomato.

I dreamed last night, and I’m not making this up, that I went to heaven and saw John Paul II sitting in a big red and gold throne, and he was holding hands and cuddling (not necking, I hasten to add) with Mother Theresa. The throne was actually big enough for three, and there was a guy I didn’t recognize, all done up in church vestments, also sitting on the throne and cuddling. Everybody looked very happy, and there was a tremendous radiant light.

Liz M, if you’re reading this, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Bolton never seems to go away says 2019

This and that
2005-04-20— Posted by: allegra

http://www.local10.com/money/4392128/detail.html

Just in case that link disappears, it’s about a company that had to fire a third of its work force after they failed drug tests.

Pope Ratz has chosen the name of Benedict XVI, which is great; St. Benedict was quite the guy and the last Pope Benedict was apparently a peacemaker in the church. My question is, this guy is obviously a place holder until a younger Pope can get elected… how long are we expecting him to last? He’s 78. Looked pretty spry up there on the balcony though… I opined to John that he looks good for at least 10 years.

Bolton is getting held up by Repulsigans for the confirmation of his appointment to the UN? I had to go back and read it again. About a week ago I read in Raw Story that he went ape on some female government worker about a decade ago, and thought, snarkily, typical Bush appointee, bad karma up the yin yang but lots and lots of pull AND YOU SHOULD SEE what the neocon websites have to say about Bolton! The way they go on about it he’s the one thing standing between the US and the Antichrist. I admit that the UN is not my favourite organization, but they have kept the peace in a lot of unpleasant places, with substantial help from the Canadian Forces, and the occasional lapse in taste and judgement, but oh well. And maybe there are UN employees and designates who are helping run the sex trade out of Eastern Europe but it’s hard to make a living on what the military pays you, and all those women want to be locked in a room with a bunch of Israeli businessmen for 5 years anyway (better than being a farm worker in Moldova, right?). Okay, I’m bitter. Anyway, Bolton is a man with an interesting history and I don’t think he has the chops to be UN ambassador, but I imagine he’ll be confirmed anyway.

Also read this morning that the Conservatives in this our native land want an election. Well I bloody well don’t. Neither do the Liberals – low voter turnout will substantially hurt them, and if they call a snap election we’ll have 3 bloody elections in BC in the space of six months. Bastards! Three rounds of explaining to people who are communications challenged that I AM SO on the voter rolls. Calice.

I expect the NDP will do better in the next provincial election; they could hardly do worse. Hope you all have a lovely day.

enough sleep
2005-04-20— Posted by: allegra

It’s the first time in ages I could actually see something besides fog and rain spatters at the Mt St Helens webcam, so I thought I’d post it, mostly in remembrance of all the people in Indonesia who had to run away from a volcano recently.

Paul’s off riding with Rob W, and I am contemplating my options… shepherds pie or mac and cheese again? It was REALLY good and I’m thinking, yup, that’s what I want.

great seminar

enough sleep
2005-04-19— Posted by: allegra

Wrote a song for Paul last night. Tried to post it but I forgot how to do it and save the formatting so it looked pretty scabrous. I really am a bear of very little brain.

Made bread and homestyle macaroni and cheese last night. Dang, it was good! It’s also gone, Katie and Keith and Paul just wolfed it when they showed up from NonBF’s, Karate and Work, respectively.

What’s with Gmail? I’ve been having a hell of a time logging on.

What a great seminar
2005-04-19— Posted by: allegra

I enjoyed the seminar immensely, and I am firmly resolved to never send another flippant company email again. After seeing the havoc which can be wreaked by being candid in emails, I am a chastened and repentant sinner, and I have resolved to go call people and bother them in person rather than send emails that they never respond to anyway. The food was good too… once you’ve taken food from their hands, you’re sunk.

>>>> this seminar also talked about racism and issues in international business communication. <<<<< 2019 addendum

smellovision

enough sleep
2005-04-18— Posted by: allegra

Not much time as I am flying out the door to a meeting. Had a nice peaceful weekend… did a lot of laundry, pulled a lot of weeds, and watched Finding Neverland. Big Johnny Depp fans over here! Keith said “I can’t stand how long I have to wait for Pirates II” or words to that effect. And I cleaned off some of my junk from the hard drive.

Smellovision
2005-04-18— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Jim emails me that he’s had the damnedest dream. Herewith:

What’s that smell?

I had my first olfactory dream. There was the most god awful smell that almost woke me up. This was definitely a 10 on the Richter smell scale. It seemed to be seeping into the house past the outside door. Outside was a small, very dead and very smelly crocodile sort of melted on the ground outside the door. Don’t ask how I knew this but it had been in Ian’s freezer for some time. What do you do with something this foul? Put it in the car and take it to the dump? Bad idea. Double bag it and dump it in the creek where things can eat it? Not an attractive option either. Bury it in the back yard? I was leaning that way when I woke up.

A few days later in real life I mentioned this to a friend who grew up in Africa with missionary parents. She confirmed that dead croc was one of the foulest smells on Earth.

Ed. In future, if I reference crocodiles it may be with this in mind. Also, I have the benefit of being able to hear Jim’s voice in my head. He has the single most Canadian accent I have ever heard in my life; it’s Ottawa Valley mashed in with Coastal BC. (Okay, I lie. He takes second place to Trent, who has the best Canadian accent ever. I’d like to pay him to narrate something; his voice is unique).

When I hear Jim’s voice, I can hear … Gawwwwwd offle smell.

Wendy bird was here; she’d locked herself out of the house and she lives across the street from us now – about 6 doors across two streets, really. Not allowed to talk about Katie, but she’s okay. Keith is mowing the lawn. I’d better grub around a while.

sundry comments and a continued monstrous visitation

Over the line
2005-04-17— Posted by: allegra

http://www.pnionline.com/dnblog/attytood/archives/001723.html

Since Ann Coulter, bless her anthracite like ticker, is making the cover of Time Magazine this week; I thought I’d present an opposing view. My comments on this woman from previous posts stand.

Had a lovely time at the John B last night – I actually got off my fat tuchis and danced.

$3.25 for Soda, though. Grr.

Today it’s laundry, and commiserating with Keith after he comes home from a job fair (but the money is really good), and commiserating with Kate, who is having a hard time about one thing and another. She is still asleep. Also cleaning all the not so great songs and pix off the hard drive. Man, 10 Gb don’t go nearly as far as they useta.

Keith is thinking maybe he needs to cut his hair, and I said, well get it done professionally and make sure you donate your hair for a wig. He really does have tremendous hair.

Paul is bugging me to volunteer for the election. I knows I should, but I’m feeling so unsociable and irritable these days that it’s all I can do to be civil to people who love me.

The weather looks like it’s cleaning up so I’m going to have a dig around in the driveside flowerbed. Hope you all have a productive and peaceable day.

Monstrous visitation
2005-04-17— Posted by: allegra

About the Monstrous Visitation the other night.

After about half an hour of very stilted conversation, with Monny no help, Chachka gave me up as a dead loss and started wandering aimlessly through the upstairs rooms. I didn’t realize at first what it was doing. Monny had become both immobile and unresponsive, and given the size of my guest, giving it a good swift kick seemed like a very poor idea. If it really was there, I was in BIG trouble, and if it really was NOT there, I was going to be flat on my ass subsequent to flinging myself through empty space.

Startling me out of my violent reverie, Fanny spoke for the first time. The voice was unlike anything I had ever heard. It was a horrible voice, but at the same time compelling my attention. It said, My name is Phantom Load. My companion annoys me by giving me a pet name.

Okay, I say. Then I ask, because I am really tactless, Are you a boy or a girl?

My eyes flash round to all of them. Monny is benignly regarding a sock on the floor, Fanny never takes her (dang – she is NOT a girl, and I keep referring to it as female) eyes from me, and Chachka is rolling its eyes and continuing to talk nonstop. In a grating, horrible voice that made one feel run over by a steam roller of spikes.

It was monster night in Canada.

Fanny does not answer my question. As always I sit in front of my ignorance and yell at it for a while, but quietly.

I remember following Chachka around, trying to drown out the outside world with my own thoughts. So Monny brought up what we are both worried about the other night. Monny is a very powerful hallucination produced by worry, and now my worry is bringing worry in the door. Two worries. They are both nicer looking, in their way, than Monny is. Monny is not a nice colour, in fact it is hard to describe what he looks like without mentioning dead things at least once.

Fanny has eyes made of lightning. Not accurate, but that is sure how it looks.

Chachka – and it agrees that its name is Chachka – is this obscene object in red and gold and black and a bunch of other colours that poops little plastic toys. I’m sorry, but everytime I review this hallucination, my recollection of it is quite clear.

There were little Pez dispensers with the first cartoon Dick Tracy, and Kinder Surprise toys that I had heard of but never seen. And they covered damned near every surface, it was a masterpiece of excess, and I kept following it through the top floor. It never went into the apartment downstairs to bug John.

All in all it was quite a show. The little toys disappeared in the order they appeared. I did not even attempt to record the onslaught; it was like trying to analyze an avalanche, an avalanche made out of pretty garbage, while standing in it.

I paid the most attention to Chachka because it was um, very demanding of attention. Meantime Fanny is standing next to me, needling me. It was quite the refinement of torture, and Monny did not move during the entire evening – and as I recollect I had to go to work the next day, so I could have used some assistance in quelling the rowdiness. So I did eventually crash, and they did not follow me into my bedroom (they are justifiably frightened of Paul) and I realized I had a lever and threatened to wake Paul up and they left, no problem. When it was safe I went to the bathroom and noticed Elastigirl (trademark) on the bathroom towel railing, and a trick of the light made her look like she was grimacing. It was pretty uncanny.

And that’s more or less what happened. It was much more intense than a dream, but as is always the case, they appear when nobody else is around, so if I talk about it I’ll appear crazy. I’m talking about it to you, but when I tell you, then it’s just a story; it doesn’t have to be true, except in the details.

hod wadder boddle

blah
2005-04-16— Posted by: allegra

Bloody rain. Goes on forever and forever. Sleeping in sheets of rain. Must think of the big yellow ball in the sky. Sigh.

In my relentless search for cute animal pix I found the picture shown, by famous illustrator Lawson Wood. Seeing as how there’s nothing I’d like better than to stay in bed all day with a hot water bottle, I thought it was quite apropos.

octopots etc

baby octopot
2005-04-15— Posted by: allegra

Easily disgusted? Don’t read this
2005-04-15— Posted by: allegra

I am very pleased to report that tea tree oil works GREAT for jock itch. Apply and remove in the shower. One word of warning, however; if you get it on your mucosae, not only will you sing in the shower, you will dance as well. Those of you who didn’t take my warning will be saying “I SO did NOT want to know that.”

UniJihad names
2005-04-15— Posted by: allegra

John’s Unitarian Jihad Name is Brother Tonfa of Friendly Persuasion. Keith is Brother Daisho of Inherent Worth.

Paul is flying to Japan, can you believe it? He has to work on an airplane and then fly back tomorrow. Hope he is successful and gets enough sleep.

lose weight, quit coffee, death of a fascist

How to avoid decisions
2005-04-14— Posted by: allegra

http://home.ubalt.edu/ntsbarsh/opre640/partXIII.htm#rhowtoavoid

Man, I had no effing CLUE how many ways I could avoid making a decision! Next time something really tough comes up I’ll have a menu to choose from, and that makes me sincerely happy.

Wolfgang….
2005-04-14— Posted by: allegra

Wolfgang Droege, the Toronto-dwelling neo-Nazi, was shot to death yesterday. I am sorry he died before coming to an understanding and correction of his errors and felonious ways, but in other respects I concur with what the immortal Moms Mabley said upon hearing that Richard Nixon had gone to his reward. “Say nothing but good of the dead. He’s dead. Good.”

As I only have about another five minutes before I run to the bus, I think I’m going to do my ‘takeoff cycle’ and peruse my favourite sites, then skid out of here.

it’s official
2005-04-14— Posted by: allegra

There’s nothing wrong with me that quitting caffeine and losing 40 pounds wouldn’t fix. I promise faithfully that the next time I think there’s something wrong with me I’ll go for a walk instead of visiting my doctor.

any questions about fascism

Any Questions?
2005-04-13— Posted by: allegra

The 14 Characteristics of Fascism

by Lawrence Britt

Spring 2003

Free Inquiry magazine

Political scientist Dr. Lawrence Britt recently wrote an article about fascism (“Fascism Anyone?,” Free Inquiry, Spring 2003, page 20). Studying the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia), and Pinochet (Chile), Dr. Britt found they all had 14 elements in common. He calls these the identifying characteristics of fascism. The excerpt is in accordance with the magazine’s policy.

The 14 characteristics are:

Powerful and Continuing Nationalism

Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottoes, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights

Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of “need.” The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause

The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

Supremacy of the Military

Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

Rampant Sexism

The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy.

Controlled Mass Media

Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

Obsession with National Security

Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

Religion and Government are Intertwined

Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government’s policies or actions.

Corporate Power is Protected

The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

Labour Power is Suppressed

Because the organizing power of labour is the only real threat to a fascist government, labour unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed .

Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts

Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.

Obsession with Crime and Punishment

Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

Rampant Cronyism and Corruption

Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

Fraudulent Elections

Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

Copyright 2003 Free Inquiry magazine Reprinted for Fair Use Only.

do I have a heart

Off to work now and the cardiologist this afternoon. As John’s boss John remarked, “Ah, so they are going to find out you have one?”

In revenge, I will tell a small story. Our John bought Boss John a little brass sign that had his name and title (President) on it. He then ceremoniously affixed it to the bathroom door at work. His boss one-upped him by leaving it there.

Have a nice day, yall.

Oooh. Forgot to mention that Monny brought two ‘friends’ over last night. I don’t know which one is weirder, Fanny, who looks like lightning in a bottle, or Chachka, who pooped Mcdonald’s (trademark) toys all over my house, and I mean ALL over. If the little bugger had found a way to glue them to the ceiling he would have (he, she?). When I have a minute I’ll describe their visit in more detail.

Rabbits say, A single cloud feels lonely (full marks if you get the reference) and I say, “You didn’t think there’d be just ONE monster, did you? Remember, if there’s a monster under every bed in the world…. that’s a hell of a lot of monsters.” And yes, the little toys were gone by morning, like fairy gold, but it was still disconcerting to turn the bathroom light on and have Elastigirl (trademark) glaring at me while I tried to take a leak.

I’m just praying that a monster who followed me around for months when I was living in Toronto doesn’t show up here. You think Monny was ugly!? This guy is *so* scary and repellent. Brr.

John, did you know that Fungus the Bogeyman is a kiddie show in Britland? I was very amused to hear that. Monsters mean money.

Katie’s finished math. Yay.

shitposting in 2019 for 2005

RRRR! Can you believe it???? Somebody is reading this blog, deciding I’m being disrespectful to Paul, and emailing him for his comments. Paul, being very used to my ‘whims and humours’, reviewed the offending paragraph, and went hunh?

Well, buddy, you go back and read this blog, and you will see that when I am not whining about Paul, I am praising him to the skies. And it isn’t just the fact that he turns to mush when he sees baby animals, or how well he looked after Keith in the hospital, or how he prevented me from throttling Kate, or cuddled me after a nightmare, or sang “The Street Where You Live” in the car while I practically cried with happiness, or made me laugh a thousand thousand times, or loves to be read to, or he’s one of the most competent and well rounded people on the planet, or that he shares much of my spiritual outlook, or because he’s grown immensely as a person in the last 20-odd years, it’s because of this: Of all the people in the world who have reason to hate me, he’s definitely the one with the grievances. But he loves me, and he proves it every bloody day. Everything I know about forgiveness, which is the kernel and essence of love that lasts, I learned from him. So there. I suppose I could fold my hands together and never say anything bad about Paul again, but he’d just poke me in the ribs once in a while and say, “You KNOW you want to say it!” and bloooooosh, Vesuvius. He knows me, and I know him. I wouldn’t live with anybody else for all the oil between China and Taiwan! And I love him more than I could possibly say, although I have tried to put it in poetry, which you obviously haven’t read! And I’m not going to pretend I’m never annoyed with him, because that would really misrepresent what is essentially a growing concern. RRRR!

2019 SEZ Janice Murray, who was very cheerful about ensuring that Paul got out of his relationship with me a few years later, is the person I’m whinging about here. She can go fuck herse’f. I could say any manner of rude an’ actionable things, but…. nah. She’s got the life and the face she deserves, and I need no part of either.

some fave people

Pictured are a Badger, A Traffic Cone Fan, a Dr Filk and a Furry Socks, singing on the steps of the Musée.

I neglected to mention that I have a Unitarian Jihad name now. I am Sister Birch Rod of Sweet Reason. Tam Tam, bless her, is Sister Molotov Cocktail of Compassionate Togetherness. Please email me with your Unitarian Jihad name; I need cheering up. If you need help, think of a weapon or torture implement, and then think of a Unitarian virtue. Use either Sibling, Sister or Brother at the front and you’re done. There IS a name generator floating around the inertnet but it sucks, so I’m not posting it. You can borrow these if you like:

Sister Branks of Strawberry Socials; Brother Sai of Potluck Dinners; Brother Bunker Buster of Streamkeeping; Sister Iron Maiden of Consensus; and then of course if you bust open a Munchkin game, you’re ALL OVER weapons, like the Chainsaw of Bloody Dismemberment, Boots of Buttkicking, etc.

However, you could try Brother Nerve Disruptor of Silent Prayer; Sister Katana of Sister Phaser of Mediation; Sister Humvee of Playfulness; Brother FighterBomber of Earthwisdom; Sister Epee of Innate Worth; Brother ME109 of Balance; and I’m still trying to figure out how to work in some Ian M Banks names for space ships. Everytime I read the name “Frank Exchange of Views” or “Clear Air Turbulence” I crack up.

 

Check out www.freecycle.org …. Brother James passed this along. I think I will be joining this.

Talked to Liz

In the time it took me to get the camera, the dawn changed colour. Very annoying.

Tomorrow I go see the cardiologist. Today, I try to wring meaning from life because you already KNOW what the cardiologist is going to tell me. He’s either going to tell me to stop eating anything that makes life fun or he’s going to tell me I’m imagining things, possibly both.

Neglected to mention that I had a nice long chat with Liz the other day. Liz is my oldest friend from my long stint in London ON, and she and all of her clan are fine, except for the ones who need a slap upside the head to realign their neurons. We commiserated for a very long time over the death of the Pope (and anybody overhearing our conversation would have been calling 911 on the dangerous loonies) and then commiserated even longer on the joys of raising teenagers.

Liz, I will share with you what Jim A shared with me after I made a particularly ripe denunciation of Katie, about three years ago, at the lunch table at work. He said, All kids give an equal amount of trouble and heartache. Some do it all at once and get it over with… others spread it out over time. But in the end it’s all the same. I pass that along in case it helps at all. Time to stuff and shower.

I can’t find anything interesting on the internet. Who turned it off? I demand a recount. Okay, the stuff about nanotechnology on eurekalert.org. Specially the stuff about nanotech and the third world.

The holiday is over

And this morning I head back in to work.

The spit yesterday at Giraffe in White Rock was delightful, as always, and food exquisite.

Spent the rest of the day reading Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell; was very happy when Stephen killed the fairy king. Man, I don’t think I’ve wanted to see an author kill a character more since Dunnett invented Gabriel. Absolutely LOVE the characters of Childermass and Vinculus. It will be Childermass that the actors fight over… of COURSE they are going to film it; the guy who wrote Dangerous Liaisons has been hired to write the script, which is a relief; at least the script will be literate.

Previews of Hitchhikers Guide say that it makes the Phantom Menace look like a film. Sigh.

I am trying to get in to work a bit early to clear email, so I’m outta here for now, more later….. oh, and to the DD fans, Brooke is already on book III of LC, having started (yup) BUYING them. I innocently asked her if she likes Vikings. This is a joke that only DD’ers will get.

Epictetus, doorstops, gardening

Paul has started reading a Manual for Living, which is a re-vision of the philosphy of Epictetus (as written down by his students). He is very much enjoying it but says most of the advice is a lot easier to give than take. Seeing as how it is sometimes referred to as “the Mother of all Self-Help Books” I can see his point. It’s a tiny little book, too. Quite the inverse of what I will refer to later…

Paul’s off to Delta Air Park for the fly in breakfast… and yes, he’s driving there. I am off to a Spit at Giraffe in White Rock. I am very much looking forward to it – Spits are always grand fun. A Spit, as I explain again, is a gathering of Dorothy Dunnett fans.

I’m back in Doorstop country as of last night – I am reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell and the damned thing COULD be used as a doorstop, it’s over a kilo, and I’ve got big divots outta my thumbs from holding it. I’m at page 316 and there are ONLY 782 pages. I’ve been told by all the reviewers that I’ll be sad when it ends.

Got the front flower bed adjoining the house straightened out last night, with most help from Paul. We mucked out the bottom of the compost bin; at one point the smell was so bad I almost pulled a Victoria Lady and tried to run away.

Spent a good chunk of yesterday drooling on the Lee Valley 2005 gardening catalogue. Why, o why, am I so sorcerously drawn to useful pots? Review of the spit later. Also, someone has sent me a cryptic email telling me to join the Unitarian Jihad. Can such things be?