up early

Up at 4:42
2005-05-05— Posted by: allegra

This is Jim P my double first cousin in common-law and a geoduck. Pronounced Gooeyduck. I have no idea why. Anyway, these are alleged to be mighty fine eating. Personally I like the facial expression.

Today is Nita’s 19th b-day. Have a wonderful time, doll!

attitude
2005-05-05— Posted by: allegra

This is a newborn Bengal Tiger from a zoo in Indonesia.

Who would do such a thing?
2005-05-05— Posted by: allegra

Liz…. WHAT is the meaning of this outrage. Pope Benedict is a kindly old guy who likely has an interesting range of prostate symptoms. He’s following after “My Charisma outshines my Three Tiered Crown Wojtyla” which ya gotta admit is not a fun place on the playbill AND St Ambrose’s prediction says Ben’ll be the third last pope before the world gets an enema so it’s like hurry up and get your sheep herded, boy, cause the lord’s branging down the storm soon.

And some louse of an Italian – a cockroach among humankind – puts a really badly scanned picture of his face into a mockup of a Nazi uniform. Look, I freaking well did what people told me when I was sixteen, and I tried to work faster if they were carrying guns. The Lord sent him a finger infection so he never had to fire a gun and he ran away, that last year of the war, as sensible lads in his situation would if they could get away with it. Personally nothing about his war record makes me unhappy with Ben.

It’s just a nasty picture, and I think sad thoughts about changing his ways at the “ritale” who did it. I am only posting it so you can see the kind of calumny the new Pope is being subjected to, and to let you know that the Italian government shut the site down.

Okay, if I was consistently playing anarchist I would at this point say “Screw the Pope” but there are several problems with this approach. I’m not happy with the Pope, but I don’t think he should be subjected to any more ridicule than I get from, say, my immediate family, which, were he to get it, would probably cause him to croak and necessitate another Election. On the other hand, what is the Italian government doing stifling art and free expression??? Not that this picture comes anywhere close to being art. I don’t know which side of this divide I should jump to. Should I go with the “Don’t Disrespect the Pope, he is the spiritual leader of one person in six on this planet”, or should I go with, “Why not have a little fun???”

fleabite

not enough sleep
2005-05-04— Posted by: allegra

It’s 4:26 in the morning, and I’m up staring at this expanse of brilliant white and contemplating the collapse of civil society. I just deleted this next paragraph because it’s work related. Sigh. The bread maker is making its thumpus bumpus noises. Kira is leaning over from the edge of the couch onto my shoulder and letting me know her feelings about breakfast. I have reminded her that she don’t get breakfast until she sits in my lap for a while.

I miss Bounce. If you’re not allergic and don’t hate them, a lap kitty is a fine accompaniment to a writer’s life.

Mind you, what woke me up was the itching from a fleabite, courtesy of the same cats… Domesticating felines had its downside.

Feminine protection
2005-05-04— Posted by: allegra

Love the purse. That would go over big on Fetish Night.

I wish I had the real name of the man who said in a post to Rawstory.com “The truth is an oiled, spastic newt.” I’d kill to have thought of that first.

Science action figures
2005-05-04— Posted by: allegra

Sorry, no pix.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=000DE05C-EDF3-1FD3-A7EA83414B7F012C

Mum, I saw this and thought of you. Specially given your fondness for two of the Steves….

watermelon carving

watermelon carving
2005-05-03— Posted by: allegra

First cousin once removed Gerald came up with this. Stunning, isn’t it?

Freedom of speech?
2005-05-03— Posted by: allegra

Cazart! Mother of babbling god!

http://lawandpolitics.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_lawandpolitics_archive.html#111500586671576091

But don’t go there unless you want to get mad. (Mind you, it is really funny.)

The intentions of the founding fathers
2005-05-03— Posted by: allegra

If anybody thinks that the current flavour of the US administration is in accordance with the intentions of the founding fathers, kindly read the two letters at

http://www.au.org/site/DocServer/Washingtons_Letter_To_Touro_Synagogue.pdf?docID=146

I especially love the expression – to bigotry no sanction; to persecution no assistance.

enough sleep
2005-05-03— Posted by: allegra

Not allowed to talk about any of the things that are exercising me at the moment; this too shall pass, this next line deleted.

All hands on deck meeting at work today. Rob of Nine suggested a couple of meetings ago that we push our chairs onto the walkway that surrounds the cafeteria. Within seconds, where nobody had stood or sat before, there were thirty people.

I try to stay ahead of the herd, but it never lasts; I am a very slow moving individual, especially these days, when the least amount of exercise leaves me faint, I feel like I’m breathless all the time, and the specialist tells me there’s nothing wrong with me.

vaccinations
2005-05-03— Posted by: allegra

I’d like to publicly express my disdain for people who don’t get their children vaccinated against preventable diseases.

http://www.canada.com/health/story.html?id=28cc66e0-c833-4aaf-a22f-8e7472fafbca

Is the Dutch Reformed Church going to take on the cost of the deformed babies born as a result of them choosing to be menaces to public health?

Paul and I have a clear recollection of a conversation we had when Keith was coming up on his first vaccination. We knew there was a small but non-zero chance that he would be permanently damaged because of a vaccination gone wrong. Sh*t happens. Batches can be contaminated – or contain live viruses – or other stuff can go wrong. But Paul and I believed that it was an acceptable level of risk.

Dang! They love fetuses so much, how will it make them feel that their behaviour CAUSES a woman who wants the child to have an abortion? Grrr. I’m gonna go straight to hell when I die, and the folks from the Dutch Reformed Church will be in the lake of fire with me.

What a stiff – May Day Parade

Parade
2005-05-02— Posted by: allegra

So my fondest memory of the May Day Worker’s March yesterday was the effigy of Gordon Campbell, flanked by the effigies of two vultures. That was inspired. John and I ran up ahead to get a good look at the effigies; John opined “He’s stiffer in real life” whereas I contributed, “and the smile on the effigy is more genuine”. Full marks to the folks who did the work on that.

The loonies were, of course, in full force. Somebody was wandering around with “information” about chemtrails. I have researched contrails (why not put ‘chem’ in front of EVERYTHING, like, say, chemsex or chemcoffee or chemcars – everything is chemistry, dipstick!) thoroughly and this guy was not serving the cause of socialism. Silly widgeon. I didn’t have the nerve to go up to him and engage him, especially since I know how polite and charming fanatics tend to be.

If I was the benevolent dictatrix of the world
2005-05-02— Posted by: allegra

I would triple the fireworks budget.

I would ensure that in every part of this beautiful jewel of the world, everybody got a day (or a day in lieu) off in the middle of the nicest weather in that part of the world. A day off is no fun if you don’t have the weather to go with it.

I would kick off this campaign by putting Rebellion Day in the calendar the second weekend in June. Now I know, and you know, that the Battle of Batoche took place in May, and Riel was born October 22, and he was hanged on, coincidentally, my birthday, November 16. But let me ask you a question…. Do you want any more freaking holidays in November or October? Do you think we could get another one in May? Nope, Rebellion Day must, I regret, be put in June. It is for the good of this land. It is for our healing. It is to acquire the warrior spirit by acts of great merit. Calling it Riel Day would be problematic; unless it was something like “Riel ran out of Toilet Paper Day” which is about the state of new ‘holidays’ anyway. Enough holiday talk.

I would arbitrarily command some men to wear robes with cute corded sashes and really cool hoods.

I must pause in my deliberations a moment and listen to my cat. He snores like no other creature I have ever encountered; when he lies under the bed snoring I sometimes feel like an extra in a horror movie; at least half a dozen times, I have felt my eyes go wide and my bladder go uneasy. I think “Myyyy Gawwwwwwwwwwd what IS that noise?” and then I realize it is Zeek! Snoring. Again. He’s made me think he’s something monstrous when he’s a butt lazy middle aged eunuch cat with FLEA HOTEL tattooed in his ear. How often do our fears really accord with the size of the hazard?

Back to being the benevolent dictatrix of the world.

I would have a “Hallway of Unwelcome Activities” in every community. This would be where activities that are technically legal but disapproved of would be allowed to take place. I will leave the details to those lawyers that I have allowed to survive.

I would only allow people to keep grass on their properties if they were growing it for fuel purposes.

I would find a magician to put a spell on my cat so that she would sit in my lap when I’m at the computer.

John insists on pointing out that Zeek! is by no means as bad a cat as I make out.

I disagree – that cat has left NO vermin, whatsoever, on my back deck for at least two weeks now.

I would mandate that ecologically grown cacao was a world food priority. A universe without chocolate? How desolate that would be…

That’s enough for now. Laundry awaits.

The first gay marriage in the family data base

I love my mother
2005-05-01— Posted by: allegra

Yeah, I know, it’s kind of old news, but I have a new reason. My mother just emailed me, and I have to quote from it because it is SO beautiful and subtle….start quote

It's been interesting.  I have eaten too much, not slept enough, experienced the tail-end (one hopes) of a Saskatchewan winter, communed with four cats, been principle photographer at a wedding, spent a lot of time at a hospital.  I kept up with your blog and heard from David a lot but not enough.  I am collecting up Graeme's family history to put into the family data base.  He is now your first cousin once removed by marriage.

End Quote. So let the haters hate – I don’t care. My mother is placidly including a same sex marriage in the family annals / genealogy, and that’s exactly the way it should be. Welcome to the 21st C.

May day, May day
2005-05-01— Posted by: allegra

This is Samil the Tigron; the pic is copyright Agence France Presse and Michel Riopa took it. Agence France Presse sues people if they make money off their pictures; they whacked Google recently, which made me laugh, as half the cute animal pictures I’ve ever posted here were AFP. Sue me! I need the entertainment. They’re gonna have to repo Paul’s shoes if they want to find any boodle around here.

Anyhoo, I am currently in a Very Bad Mood. I am hoping a restorative cuppa and the prospect of Paul going to work within the next hour will return me to my normally cheerful, or at least neutral, state of mind. Then I’m off to pretend I am a member of the working class. It’s been bloody years since I marched in a May Day parade. And dratitall, none of my dyes are clean. Oh well.

One of my correspondents, who attended a recent U2 concert, informs me that when Bono asked the audience to call the PM’s office, the phone number that went up on the screen first was 615 instead of 613. (They did correct it). I am sure some manicurist in Tennessee is wondering why all these crazy Canucks are calling to yell at her about the 3rd world debt sitch. Technology is a fickle friend, folks. Sometimes the receiving end (think depleted uranium) isn’t much fun.

Derry

overcast
2005-04-30— Posted by: allegra

So we got on the 7 pm ferry to Swartz Bay no problem last night and had a very pleasant journey across. Katie amused more than one person by being deeply absorbed in the book The Idiot’s Guide to Being a Sex Goddess. I won’t repeat the discussion we had in the car about birth control; I’d probably be laughing too hard to type, anyway.

pOp loaded up the fridge with things he’d never even dream of purchasing if teenagers weren’t coming into the house. Paul and I slept really well, so we’re feeling chipper. Off to see Granny at her residence around 1 pm and then back here and then home – just a flying visit. Sure is weird to be here without Mummy being here, but Gadget House is still a great place to hang out.

I have learned that Katie’s non-boyfriend has named his guitar after me. I wriggled like a Lab puppy myself when I heard that; I guess I remain absurdly easy to please.

I’m going to cruise around the hard drive and see if there’s something worth posting….ah. This is my cousin Derry. She died of cancer in her twenties, and she was really an amazing woman; her family are putting a remembrance book together for us which I am looking forward to reading. I’ve been told there is quite the family resemblance… personally I think she was always way prettier than me.

Don’t you DARE blow your nose on me!
2005-04-30— Posted by: allegra

In other news, Paul bought 4 pairs of shoes at Birkenstock today. In his defense, they were mostly on sale. Imelda lives!

happy Paul

there’s a happy man
2005-04-29— Posted by: allegra

Happy family news
2005-04-29— Posted by: allegra

My cousin Rawd and his partner Graeme are getting married. I know that as an anarchist, I should fulminate about how marriage is propertarian and not required between two free people and blah blah blah woof woof; but I can’t help being pleased anyway.

I just reviewed this whole paragraph and deleted it.

It was funny, and it was true, and it was very disrespectful to the woman who would be my mother in law if she hadn’t told me how to run my wedding.

Anyway, my mum is off to Regina for the wedding, and her email, which I won’t quote for privacy reasons, reminded me of nothing so much as a lab puppy squirming with joy to see its master come home in terms of its emotional tone. I think this is the first same sex marriage in our family and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I know some people find same sex marriage is appalling, but I think they don’t get the “God is Love” thing. And, as a Christian minister in the US pointed out once, there are something like 1000 injunctions in the Bible about how to treat the poor, 60 or 70 about how straight people should behave, and something less than five about homosexuality. If the Bible is really God’s word – and you’ll have to admit this is not universally accepted – a true Christian is more concerned with poverty than the sexual behaviour of any of his or her neighbours. But if you tell real Christians that, they get upset.

My favourite two questions are “If Joseph wasn’t Jesus’ daddy, why does the Bible go into his genealogy with such detail?” and “Why does the Bible call bats birds?” NOTE: There is no right answer to either of these questions. Generally Christians I mention this to say they’ll have to take it up with their pastors, and then they perplex me by never getting back to me on the subject.

this is what I wrote to the newspaper
2005-04-29— Posted by: allegra

I just shook my head when I read the article entitled Spanish-language
TV billboards strike a nerve.  Mr. Gheen's a racist, and should get
called on it.

Which layer of racism is more offensive? The fact that he's having a
little trouble dealing with the demographic reality of California
circa 2005, or that he forgets who was there first?

The First Nations - or aboriginal peoples, or autochthones, or Indians
- were in California first.  Then the Spanish pushed them out of the
way.  Then the Americans pushed the Spanish out of the way.  Now Mr.
Gheen is crying about how 'fringe elements' are not paying attention
to American territorial claims.

It doesn't seem to me that Americans have ever given a tinker's cuss
about anybody's territorial claims but their own; given California's
history of changing hands when somebody bigger comes along, maybe Mr.
Gheen should just fold his hands in resignation, or go kick President
Bush's door down - he's the one shamelessly pandering to the Hispanic
vote by changing his tune on the immigration issue depending on who is
voting and where.  California's economy would collapse without
economic migrants, a fact Mr. Gheen is choosing to ignore in his
readiness to be offended by the purchasing power (and sense of humour)
of the Hispanic community.  Besides, history shows that empires come
and go.  Why not the American empire?

Of course, as an urban Canadian, I view the whole issue of cultural
assimilation differently.  Within 10 years, I'm going to be a member
of the white (or as I prefer to put it, pink) minority in Vancouver.
It's no big deal by me.  If Mr. Gheen isn't jiggy with the advantages
of multiculturalism, maybe it's because he's not making money from it
yet.  Or maybe he's got a nice sinecure being a not so closet racist.
It seems in modern day America, you can always make a living from
hatred, especially if you wrap it in a flag.  I can deal with the
hatred - I can even understand it.   It's the wilful ignorance of the
reality of the interrelationship between the state of California and
its many flavored & layered Hispanic community that makes me wonder
about Mr. Gheen.

rassissmus

enough sleep
2005-04-28— Posted by: allegra

http://www.whittierdailynews.com/Stories/0,1413,207~12026~2839954,00.html

Okay, the story is about how a Spanish language billboard advertising a Spanish language TV station crosses out the CA in the legend Los Angeles CA and replaces it with Mexico.

Note the response of an American commentator – from the story, if the link is broke…

About 75 billboards went up last week in Orange, Riverside and San Bernardino counties, but mostly in Los Angeles County.

Opponents, however, say Los Angeles County, where Latinos make up 44 percent of its 2.3 million residents, is part of the United States, not Mexico.

It’s not even cute. What is upsetting is that the fringe elements within the illegal-support community do not recognize the territorial claims of the United States, said William Gheen, president of Americans for Legal Immigration. They are consistently saying It is our land, and we are taking it back.

Okay, kids, your task for today is to figure out which aspect of the two layers of racism this guy is wearing is more offensive. Yupperooni, those crazy Spics stole California fair and square from the Injuns, and – Hey, wait a minute. The US didn’t steal the land from anybody!!! Nobody was living there. Move along, nothing to see here. These aren’t the colonial swine you are looking for. We can go about our business. Everybody back to sleep.

Whaddaya mean, Sisyphus was a myth?
2005-04-28— Posted by: allegra

My brain is working about as well as a Three Stooges short … “I try to t’ink, but nuttin’ happens!” Hm, if I feel like that I’m better off going in to work and getting paid for it.

Got one of the all time nicest customer service emails from a happy customer on Monday; I had to break every rule in the book to get him that happy, but fortunately my merry band of pranksters at work – the people who don’t report to me but do what I tell them anyway because their rabies shots aren’t up to date – obeyed my whims and it all ended up working quite nicely.

Sometimes I think that if customers knew how hard it is to serve them they’d cut me more slack – but that just makes me happier when somebody DOES notice that I wanted to help and actually got that Sisyphean rock to hold up for a while. Course, then it rolls downhill again.

I highly recommend The Bridge, by Iain Banks. There’s a reference to Sisyphus so hug-self-and-chortle that it ought to be required reading for humoristas. The rest of the book is pretty damned good, too.

make your own marshmallows
2005-04-28— Posted by: allegra

http://science.howstuffworks.com/question128.htm

Paul, can you put corn syrup on the shopping list for me? Also gelatin???? Hey Brooke – I bet you really want to make this, don’t you!!!?

bumpernuts is no more

You’ve gotta be kidding
2005-04-27— Posted by: allegra

http://www.bumpernuts.com/

Yup. Somebody is sick, and I think it isn’t me this time.

enough sleep
2005-04-27— Posted by: allegra

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1114611118103_36/?hub=TopStories

Okay, sounds scary, right, support for separatism is growing? Skip to the bottom, where it reads

49 per cent favour another referendum, while 46 per cent oppose it

48 per cent said they were confident renewed federalism was possible, while 45 per cent said it was not. When asked whether a vote for sovereignty still meant that they wanted Quebec to be part of Canada, 56 per cent of respondents said yes while 40 per cent said no.

Based on interviews with 1,008 eligible Quebec voters conducted between April 21 and 24, the poll is considered accurate within 3.1 percentage points, 19 times out 20.

Okay, we can all go back to sleep. If it came to the vote, it would be close, but the separatists would still lose. The only way Quebec can separate this century is through a violent revolution, which means that the half of the army which is Quebecois would have to either side with the Queen or jump the fence. Which do you consider more likely? And if, once AGAIN, capital flees Quebec and the job sitch gets grim…. you get the picture. Quebeckers are proud and have an illustrious history, but they are just as practical as everybody else when somebody shouts into their wallets. They are angry now, but their anger will cool.

enough sleep
2005-04-27— Posted by: allegra

350 episodes…. amazing. Yes, I don’t have permission. No, I don’t care.

I am reading a book called Natural Capitalism. It is the single most hopeful book about the coming crisis I have ever read. Yes, it details, at some length, the crisis we are already in and looks at the potential for it getting worse. But it also proposes solutions, and LOTS of them. It’s a life changer, for sure.

Keith had his first real job interview yesterday. I could burst with pride. He’ll know in about a week.

many cute animals

porcepic
2005-04-26— Posted by: allegra

Are you my mother?

This baby porcupine was recently born in Washington DC.

more mammals
2005-04-26— Posted by: allegra

This is a liger. Her name is Zita. She lives in Russia. She is actually still a kitten, but most of the kittens I know don’t eat $40 worth of horsemeat a day. Her parents didn’t know any better; they were young, they were foolish… it was the heat. Her daddy is an African lion and her mummy is a Bengalese tiger.

Insufficient cute animal pix
2005-04-26— Posted by: allegra

White Crowned Mangabey. Very rare.

enough sleep
2005-04-26— Posted by: allegra

Fabulous post by Juan Cole this morning. He incisively limns the difference between the MSM *mainstream media* which also sounds like Microsoft Messaging strangely enough, and Blogging. The pith of it – bloggers do it for love and the MSM does it for 15% profit. I recommend it.

Liz M phoned last night, demanding to know what was the meaning of this outrage. She grilled me unmercifully on why I had not commented on Papa Ratzi being a Hitler Youth as a lad. I answered that it hadn’t exactly been a secret, and that I had read what I could pro and con and made the judgement that it wasn’t exactly his idea, and he did get out as fast as he reasonably could, at some personal cost. John Paul II of course didn’t collaborate with the Nazis and worked with the resistance blah blah woof woof. But he was six years older, and that does make a difference in wartime. So I’m not going to judge him on what “Eggs” Benedict did when he was fourteen. God’s judgment awaits him for fomenting hatred towards women and homosexuals.

Read in Danny Schechter’s newsblog that some Palestinian at a news oriented gathering opined that Ratzinger sounded like a Jewish name. Read the blog for the waspish comment made in response to this idiocy by an Arab female journo.

Liz further opined that she had never seen anything like the three leaders of the parties wearing Sikh head coverings. My response was quite ungallant; I said that of course the networks only showed the head coverings; showing the knee pads really would have made trouble. The three leaders judge, correctly in my opinion, that they have nothing to lose by wearing the head covering in front of the media; they will please more Sikh voters than they will cheese off pink racists. It’s all a numbers game. Who votes? Why do they vote? And immigrants vote, folks. Well, it’s 6:46 in the am and Katie wants the computer. That’s never a good sign. Bye!!!

In Canada?
2005-04-26— Posted by: allegra

http://www.cannabisculture.com/articles/4111.html

I defy anybody reading this to picture this happening in Canada. And I ask you to picture what would happen to the judge, and who would show up on the courthouse steps to protest.

Along similar lines, we were sitting around the table the other night, and we came up with the slogan (and we’re JOKING, oKAY?) “Marc Emery for Prime Minister…. because we KNOW what he’s been smokin’!”

I actually know Marc Emery from when we were both involved in the Freedom Party, many many years before he became a marijuana activist, and before I realized that I had run out of ‘wings’ (you know, right, left) and became the world’s most lame ass anarchist. (Sheesh, I should forward Brother James’ email to me, he shellacked me on the subject!!!).

I haven’t spoken to Marc in years, but I always liked him, even if he was an enormous publicity hound. (Okay, I thought he was cute, too).

Oh, and that marijuana stuff is just a smoke screen. Marc is a libertarian, as are most of his cohorts in the party. Get him going on gun control or prostitution sometime, but stand well clear and keep the tape running….

Stellar nursery

2019 sez I got a DRESS WITH THAT PATTERN.  at the bottom of the post

enough sleep
2005-04-25— Posted by: allegra

What the hell would I do without Fark? I only discovered it a year ago and now it’s difficult for me to conceive what I’d do without it. I mean I freaking hate the conservative bias, but even so…

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4477845.stm

I want to be a mystery worshipper when I grow up!!! I wish I could get paid for that!!!

Unexpected treat
2005-04-25— Posted by: allegra

One of my readers – who doesn’t normally comment on my posts – had this to say about yesterday’s political rant. Needless to say I had a good chuckle:

We sure have a great choice in the next federal election. We can choose either the mafia, the taliban, or the fuzzy headed socialists who couldn’t run a lemonade stand, much less a country.

There ya go. I am somewhat at odds with the Mafia comment… they look more like Goodfella wannabes. As for the Taliban jibe, well, I had a sudden urge to Photoshape Steven the Not Very Musical Harper into a button down turban and beard. I don’t feel comfortable commenting about socialist haircuts, so I will leave it at that.

Calendar Check
2005-04-25— Posted by: allegra

Attention Buffy fans! We are having the Singalong Buffy the Vampire Slayer at my place on the 13th of May. (Friday the 13th being the perfect evening for such an event.) Snackies available; followed by Pirates of The Caribbean and Munchkin, if people are still awake.

What happened today. Hosed down the back deck; helped Mike move; saw Tom U drink bubble tea for the first time and would KILL to have a picture of the expression on his face; ate pho; retinted my hair (Garnier 60); sang and played at Tom and Peggy’s (different Tom). The weather was excruciatingly nice.

John went to Show and Shine and went on at great length about how wonderful it was. It sure was the best day possible for it. The cherry trees are all losing their petals. I contemplate it from the back deck and think sad thoughts about the impermanence of things. But then I go back to planning the Buffy sing along, and I feel more chipper. Must have something to look forward to….

enough sleep
2005-04-24— Posted by: allegra

Today my life consists of yard work, helping Mike move and domestic arguments. In no particular order. I would like to thank Paul for making all of this possible.

Katie has volunteered to do yard work. I made coffee and now we can all think, although at very low speed.

I’m kinda cheesed about the federal election. On one hand, I think PM squared is as slimy as a two day dead squid (sorry, squids) and on the other hand, I don’t want Stephen Harper, the pol who puts the man in manboobs, getting any more seats in Parliament. I will be keeping abreast of breaking developments.

I would really like to watch PM squared stand back and let Chretien take the richly deserved crap. Let’s face it, Chretien did almost as good a job of enriching himself and his cronies as Brian Mulroney.

I also don’t want to watch the BQ (the Bathos Quebecois, also known as the Blockheads) go on about how the feds tried to buy Quebec with their own money and how Quebec would be much better off going it alone. Yeah, you dingbat, you jackasses – you knobs lost two referenda – and I VOTED in one of them, please thank me, Canada, for my role in keeping the country assembled – and because of the reverse engineered Revenge of the Cradle you WILL NEVER WIN a referendum.

Okay, a little history here. Once upon a time, Catholics in Quebec didn’t use birth control. In the old days, they fought against cultural assimilation into the sea of Anglos by having a remarkably high birth rate. All that changed in the 60’s. Quebec women took to birth control with more assiduity than any other group of females in the overconsumptive portion of the planet, with the possible exception of the Japanese. I’d say the Japanese are doing better (lower) on the birth rate thing, but apparently the Quebecois have sex (sometimes IN MOVING CARS on DECARIE BOULEVARD) and don’t get pregnant (okay, the car swerved at a vital moment), and the Japanese just plain don’t have sex, so it’s hard to get preggers under those circumstances. (I should clarify… married Japanese people don’t have much sex. Saw that in a Japanese newspaper article, so it must be true). So right now, Quebec has (among pur laine Quebeckers) by which I mean any pink (white), nominally Catholic Quebecker with a last name like Chartrand or Francois or Bergeron, the lowest birthrate in North America. Oh by the way, I am now officially offended if you ever dare to call me white again. I am pink. Goddamnit! I am so very very pink! Pink power! Pink Pride!!!! And I get pinker, when I’m mad, too. I’ve been told parts of me are extremely pink, but you’ll be rilly happy that I don’t provide documentary evidence.

Ah, but at the same time that Quebeckers were learning that you didn’t have to pull out to prevent pregnancy, the demographics changed. You see, they started letting les noirs et les arabes into the virginal spaces of Dollard Des Ormeaux, and hella hella, they breed! And around the same time the government of Quebec said, we need more people, and put in the most amazing baby bonus money in all of Canada, and basically subsidized the birth of many many brown children. (Note. I don’t have a problem with this. I have other problems with immigrants, part of which is due to residual racism on my part (unlike a LOT of soft left leaners, I KNOW I’m a racist) and part of which is my disappointment that some of them don’t get the notion of the ‘rule of law’ and the value of our constitution – and part of which is my objection to their bringing their internecine quarrels from furrin lands into my nice peaceful pink Canada. And the biggest one isn’t even racism. I just wish, whatever the hell colour they were, that they spoke English. Talk about yer cultural imperializm….)

Where wuz I. While the Nicoles and Chantals kept the reproductive pipelines, as ’twere, resolutely shut, immigrants had families. You have to wonder why pink Quebec women don’t want to breed… but they are currently way below replacement rate. All the brown people who came to Canada essentially came from places where there was no strong central government… and just think about all the places where the colonial language is French (or one of the colonial languages). Paradises like Mali, Senegal, Rwanda. Shangri-La’s like Haiti. And Lebanon, once the jewel of the Mediterranean. These are not places where citizens feel like there’s nothing but opportunity for their children. Once they felt safe – and sure, the cops are racist as hell in Quebec, but they look like Mahatma Gandhi compared to the cops in Beirut or Port au Prince – and found out they were $1500 on the upside to have that third kid, well, woo hoo. And the policy wonks in Quebec are tying themselves in knots. How do they get Nicole pregnant without subsidizing the birth of little brown children? I just sit back laughing. I lived in Quebec for two years – on the west side of the island, in the anglo enclave – and the racism of the place, after Toronto, never failed to boggle my mind. And remember I was married to a black guy and living in Toronto for a couple of years, so I got my nose rubbed not only in my own racism, fa la la, but everybody else’s as well.

The result of immigration and the differential birth rate between pink Quebeckers and immigrants is that the Parti Quebecois and the Bloc do not have a Bonhomme Carnival’s chance in hell of winning a referendum and separating from Canada. (Bonhomme Carnival is a snowman, for those of you who don’t get the reference). Immigrants are pretty consistent about supporting the status quo; it was Canada that let them in and Canada will get the vote.

It may be emotionally honest for a member of the Bloc Quebecois to say Quebec would be better on its own, but it doesn’t make sense from any other perspective. Without Quebec, Canada has its guts torn out; alone, Quebec will turn into an old drunk whose children all leave town. Sorry boys, it’s like this. We’ve been married a long time. It’s cheaper to keep her. And besides, if you leave me now, I’m changing all the currency. Didn’t you say you’d keep the currency? Screw ya! The chintziest 3rd world dictatorship has its own currency (even if the richest 10% only use Euros these days). Wouldn’t it be grand if we had currency that showed say, the kidnapping of Pierre Laporte on the 5 spot, the conscription riots on the 10 spot, the War Measures Act on the 20 spot and the hanging of Louis Riel on the 50 spot?

Hm, I sure get bloodthirsty in a hurry. Must be my European heritage overcoming the peacefulness of my Mennonite and Quaker antecedents.

Or maybe it’s just thinking about the yard work that gets me so upset.

Pic is of a star nursery. Our problems are very localized, and very small. But entertaining as hell, right?

Daybreak (new song)

2005-04-24— Posted by: allegra

Daybreak

Last I heard, you were on my mind
seems like I think about you all the time
If I look what will I find
Last I heard, you were on my mind

Best I know, you're the best there is
seems like I think about you all the time
Most of it's love but some of it's biz
Best I know, youre the best there is

Break, daybreak, break, daybreak.
Day breaking over my head.
Day day day breaking over my head. Daybreak

first we'll kiss, and then we'll pray
seems like I think about you all the time
moon and stars and the sun all day
first we'll kiss and then we'll pray

Break, daybreak, break, daybreak.
Day breaking over my head.
Day day day breaking over my head. Daybreak

waver with the wind that blows
seems like I think about you all the time
fill with the beauty that only the wind knows
waver with the wind that blows.

Purchased a capo for the mandolin today and rented Katie a bass from Tom Lee downtown. Be interesting to see how much she practices.

medical investigations

enough sleep
2005-04-23— Posted by: allegra

Innards. Yes, we all have them. Paul participated in a medical study so he’s off to have a CAT scan of his chest today.

I am hoping to get Katie up before noon so we can go look at renting a bass. We shall see.

After I got home last night we had a bit more of a Buffy fest. John had not consistently watched all of season six, so we watched the last three episodes of season six. Once you watch them more than once, you’re looking at all the background stuff, the way the set is decorated and the music and the little bits with the extras coming and going. The music is usually really apropos – I love the way when Willow grabs Giles’ power, the music goes all sixties freakout. Very funny, and subtle if you’re otherwise occupied. I just love the guy who plays Rack, so I looked it up and discovered that he’s played by Jeff Kober. Yes, he’s a scary looking individual, but I think that warlock is really quite cute.

Keith has made coffee, bless him. Paul’s doing yoga in the living room.

Pic is of Aureum Chaos on Mars.

Such a sapp
2005-04-23— Posted by: allegra

As I’m walking up to the wicket I see a fragment of Johnny Depp’s hand from a poster, mostly hidden behind the door. I buy two tickets for Sahara, watch it and enjoy it thoroughly. I have an epiphany about Johnny Depp, something to the effect that it would be rilly rilly cool if he ever played Le Petomane. I remember reading one time that Michael J Fox had a desire to play Le Petomane in a film, but the times were not right and alas he became ill.

Depp, on the other hand would be a gem of such fine water… it would so auger the sproing back into my step, and make the massage oil flow. And stuff.

Play the Sahara tape now. Plug disguised as a movie review. Take a plot that makes spun sugar look like structural steel. Lightly toss w/ one guy with a killer smile, truly fine abs, an ability to read his lines without sounding like an idiot, and who looks like he’s enjoying every bloody minute. Drape gracefully over two sidekicks, one male and a paragon of goofy usefulness, and one female, and gritty and smart and really cute whether she’s in safari gear or an evening gown (she gets an evening gown scene!). The opening sequence had me holding my mouth open. I want to see the movie again just for the opening sequence. That’s where we get a feeling for what kind of guy he is from the crap he’s got on the wall. It’s great, there were some just lovely little touches. & then there’s William H Macy in a great strong cameo. I recognized Oumou Sangare on the soundtrack (I had seen the closing credits and so knew to expect it). Now, since the last one disappeared, I’d better post this.

election talk

enough sleep
2005-04-22— Posted by: allegra

I’m going to take Paul out for breakfast this morning, but he refused to leave the house without shaving. I find this a little extreme, but it’s okay if he wants to be in fine fighting trim, I suppose.

Why do we have to have an election? Do the PEEPul of KENUhDuh really want a Tory government? I suppose it would take the Tories at least a couple of years to get to the point of pillage and looting that the National Governing Party has reached since Kim Campbell was flung so unceremoniously from office. (Either that or Brian Mulroney gives thievin’ lessons from his sickbed. (Tory? Party of two? Ting!) SO it would just slow down the delta, but gawdamighty.) The absolute worst thing about this election, and it hurts real bad, is that Frank Magazine isn’t on side to help out. Sigh.

The world is full of things I can’t talk about, but I will use my bully pulpit anyway. I can’t believe how many NDP lawn signs there are on my street already, I think the riding association has been ready for a while; we represented federally by the NDP so maybe they think they have a chance against Gordon Campbell’s former employee/colleague/assistant, Patty Sihota. The woman gives me the pip. Everything I’ve seen of hers that was published irresistably reminded me of a bad high school essay and I don’t know what the hell she’s done since the last provincial election that didn’t involve her getting her picture taken at a seniors residence. At least she isn’t controversial, whatever that means.

I am so happy it’s the weekend.

Be good, and if you can’t be good, be arbitrary.

Took an order yesterday for somebody who lived on Heinlein Street. Gave me a little frisson.

Oops, Paul’s ready. Bye!