Category: Song-a-Day 2021

Dr. Who?

Lyrics available upon request… but why

The song ends in the same key as the Dr. Who Theme so at the end you’re supposed to vamp the theme to a fadeout. It’s actually quite effective but I’m not taking on the fucking Beeb with IP issues. LOL. No, I’ll just mock them and their works, haw haw.

I don’t repudiate the song, but I should. It wormed its way into a Conflikt songbook before I realized that the entire song is antithetical to filk fandom in a number of strong and structural ways. It is a problematic song. It is a difficult song. It is a very self-centred and elitist song.

“50 years just makes it old, it doesn’t make it fine.”

Of course that’s all you need to say to get Dr. Who fans (who are…. engaged) to start beating on you verbally. Next time somebody does I’m going to compare their vigour in defending it to colonialism and then the fur can really fly.

The song I wrote for Willie P. Bennett when he died in 2008

This was originally composed on the Aria mandolin (Edith) that Keith had for a while and then donated to me, which got me started on having Otto, which was a good thing. Miss Margot came and sat with me when I was working on it. There are no lyrics. The formal title is Willie P.’s Lament.

I am glad

 

I am glad that I am older
because when I was younger
I thought fireworks were friendly fun
But carrying a baby while John shot that roman candle at me *
made me think
maybe I’m wrong
It’s one idea, among them all
but if I have to call it right or good
this is not the one

*it was not deliberate and I had agency over my distance.

I am glad that I am older
thanks to some crucial luck
at birth ‘n every year come since
I lived long enough to come to understand that all this luck
is held up
by a thing
called white supremacy
and now I have to come up with some proof
that I give a fuck

I am glad that I am older
and my loved ones help pay for my time
to think about how to heal this hurt
I lived long enough to look at it as a lot of work
a lot of
fucking work
Like more than I could do in one small lifetime
but I know
what is owed
Don’t want to be a jerk

 

So I started writing this after eleven and it just banged the noon gong. There is a very powerful melody for this and apart from additional voices, one trombone and two french horns I can’t hear any orchestration and I’m basically okay with it being solo voice. I should record a scratch track. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS THING RIGHT NOW.

I will however continue to sing it through until the tune quits wriggling around quite so hard.

They totally did not get cleaned

people who want to know can ask me, I won’t say why. All is well.

I MADE CRUNCHY NUTELLA and ate it all. (later this year I find out I’ve developed an allergy to hazelnuts, lol (added June 9))

TOM CAME BY WITH PEGGY’S STRAWBERRY RHUBARB PIE. It is spectacularly good, srsly. I must call her.

We watched the Méliès Mystery documentary.

I have not mailed anything. I need to phone Paul.

This is a new song, European cheesy ballad of the 60s style

I have no love
Only wistful dreams
I have no home
for the longings of my heart
before me now
a shining vista gleams
that you love me
and love me only

and then you go and fart

My dreams are ASH
I think my eyelid’s welded shut
I soar then crash
Like a kite whose string is cut
The woe I feel
In knowing we must part
Please know that I am grieving
with each step as I’m leaving
but I’d like to go on breathing

and then you go and fart

End of Song a day run

I have about another forty songs to prep and record, and I’ve run out of both songs and energy. I’ll post them when I can and then put together a master post with all of the songs listed.

I lost a lot of recordings when I lost a hard drive, and I’ve written some stuff since, but as far as recordable tunes, the count is currently somewhere around 170. Not as good as I thought, but better than most, I imagine.

Current projects:

continuing to write letters (mailed two yesterday, received a MOST welcome letter from Lois, may her god continue to bless and keep her)

HOTM – just the ‘best roommate in the world section’ is ALREADY novel length – okay 47K words but damned close. It may end up being a novel all by itself. I am working on it.

Bih-bah the conlang

Tarot for Atheists

My sanity – which is, I’ll be candid, not good at the moment

Attempting to remove ableist language from my vocabulary. WOW OH WOW is that hard.

Three years ago today Assassin’s Creed Odyssey came out

Or it would have if today was Oct 2, 2021!

 

And here’s a song to celebrate it.

Alexios the murder hobo
ran around ancient Greece
He loved to deal out mostly dealt in violence (pron VOI LINCE)
And he dealt it out piece by piece
He’d skulk run around the market square
Inquiring if anybody needed as to anybody needing some murdering there
He’d take it on for a hefty price
And how he got it done wasn’t often the way he got things done (waaaaal) not very nice

chorus:
cause he’s a HOBO!
He’s a murderous
HOBO!
Out a-murdering…
HOBO!
He’s a murderous ….
but ya gotta love the way he loves to do his thing
Alexios the murder hobo
hailed from Thermopylae
Stabs folksbin’ people more or less at random
He really is quite one hell of a guy
He kills stabs by day, he stabskills by night
His armour gets the credit when he’s in a big-ass boss fight
He got a bird named Icarus
He always wears the sweetest little truss and he’s a

HOBO!
He’s a murderous
HOBO!
Out a-murdering…
HOBO!
He’s a murderous ….
but ya gotta love the way he loves to do his thing

 

Alexios the murder hobo
has everything an Ancient Greek needs
a fabulously stellar reputation
for ugly and horrific deeds
He’ll poison…. all the boys in your crew
and come back (or creep back) in the dead of night and do for you too

CHORUS

Alexios the murder hobo
goes shopping twice or thrice a day
If I spent that much time boutiquing
My folks would have me put away
The drachmae go ka-ching
on all that shiny bling
and man, how it must sting
to pay for anything
when you’re a HOBO
Retail sucks when you’re a hobo
out a murdering
Hobo, he’s a murderous
but you got to love the way he loves etc. etc.
>
Alexios the murder hobo
Has ships that run on magical oars
I don’t know who they’ve got below decks
I bet that they’ve got friction sores
The sails go up, the sails come down
the rigging defies physics and then BANG they run aground
And he’s a hobo, a right piratical hobo
out a-murderin’
Hobo, it’s legitimate salvage PLEASE NOTE BONUS EXPANSE REFERENCE
and you got to love the way he loves to do his thing

Chorus
Alexios the murder hobo
has one final mission to complete
Climb up every statue on the game map
and teabag them with rhythm sweet
He’ll scramble up
He’ll scramble down
Take a screen cap in the middle
and scramble out of town
Cause he’s a hobo, a pirate thief murdering pervert hobo
out a murdering
Hobo, he’s a murdering hobo
but it’s a filk crowd and now it is time for you to do your thing

International Beer Day! Buy me a Beer.

On youtube, it’s here. I’m ever so much better a singer as of December 2020, when I posted this, but that’s okay. I’ve sung this at a lot of places, including as part of the entertainment at a company festive gathering at the Vancouver Aquarium.

International Beer Day is August 6 but you really want a beer now. Beer weather almost here. Beer.

The lyrics:

Buy me a beer

Buy me a beer, make it a cold one
buy me a beer, or maybe two or three
I may get to like your face
Once the goggles are in place
buy me a beer, or maybe two or three

Tell me a joke make it a funny one
Tell me a joke or maybe two or three
My heart’s been torn in half
I could really use a laugh
Tell me a joke or maybe two or three

Tell me a lie, and not just any lie
Tell me a lie, you made up just for me
There’s a lot of truth around
Layin’ scuffed up on the ground
Tell me a lie, a purty one for me

Instrumental break IN the BEST versions

Ask me to dance if I’m still sober
Give me a chance to prove I can unwind
I ain’t always hatin’ men, I just mess up now and then
Ask me to dance, I’ll dance him offa my mind

I’m leaving the bar, no please don’t join me
Cause he’ll be waiting in his car
Outside my place
And he’ll have been drinking too
what you think he’s gonna do when he sees you
That’s right, honey, bust you in the face!

Final chorus….

 

And for the most part I’ve ceased drinking, as it’s horrible for every other aspect of my health but my mood, and it only improves my mood for the briefest time… thus this song represents a youth enjoyed but left behind without regret. It makes me sound like an antique, but I can’t call myself that, or my parents might get offended. (December 2020.)

Tapioca Song

Today is National Tapioca Day OR IT WOULD BE IF IT WAS JUNE 28TH.

I had to reach into the future posts to get this situated here.

Here it is on Youtube.

If comfort food is what you crave…. mmmm tapioca
please don’t cook it in the microwave …. mmmm tapioca

tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave
tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave

My husband said I don’t think that I’m eating that …. no tapioca
That could not be eaten by a starving rat …. no tapioca

tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave
tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave

I pulled it from the pot it made a scary sound …. SCHLOOP tapioca
Bounced twice when I dropped it on the ground …. WHOA tapioca
tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave
tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave

Now I know double boilers are a grandma thing …. mmmm tapioca
Harder than waiting for the bell to ring …. mmmm tapioca

tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave
tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave

I’ll call NASA with a great big smile ….. yes! tapioca!
I know what to do about the thermal tiles ….. yes! tapioca!
tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave
tapioca
tapioca
no tapioca in the microwave

One last chorus, if you’re doing it en masse, with a super slow and deep last note.