Why would somebody ask for ‘more ranting’?

Tonight I would like to rant about the lack of menstruation rituals in our culture. Tonight I’m going to take the man’s view, as the woman’s view about it isn’t nearly transgressive enough for me ce soir la. Jeez, where’s an accent grave when I need one…
If I was a man, I would want rituals and predictive patterns in young women’s lives that preserved their fertility for their true purpose, namely, making babies with me and not with other men. Having some kind of ceremony where it was drilled into the girl’s head that she had one shot at the childbearing game and if she slept with the wrong guy it was game the fuck over would be useful if my strategy for access to childbearing women meant I was employed and civil. Mind you, if my strategy is to just rape the shit out of her and hope for a lucky plug, it’s still better than if she was really trying to save it for the right guy. Her body may betray her and pop an egg for me. I’d be the ‘wrong guy’ – but I’d still be first. Now, the sperm competition theory of fucking, which holds that guys enjoy sharing girls because if you’re second (or later) you come way harder (your sperm will ‘wash away’ that of your, uh, competitor/buddy), so if you let your buddy go first, because you don’t really care if you get her pregnant, and you’d prefer to come harder because of your wiring, you’ve more or less dropped out of the discussion about breeding. You’ve actually given some consideration to the notion, which is why you’re wearing a condom while all of these shenanigans are going on. I mean, it’s still rape, but there’s a different angle. You get it now? All different styles of thinking about ‘the breeding thing’ lead to different results in terms of how it affects the woman’s life. Oh, sorry, I’ve gone back into the women’s way of thinking about this, ‘scuse me all to hell.

So mOm, did I make you laugh really hard on the phone tonight, or what?

Back to the subject at hand. Women should have menstruation rites so that they actually have two whole chunks of time to think about fertility without having to do any work. That is, in part, what rituals are all about. It’s about the whole “stop working and start thinking” thing that has made humanity what it is. Having enough excess capacity in your life to be able to stop and think is what makes for civil life. Having the spare time to develop morality makes morality. Leisure, in short, makes ethical life possible. But don’t worry, in the end it’s all about sex. Yeehaw. Hurry hurry love.
Did I ever say why it was I refer to my mother as mOm? It’s because when I spell her title that way, it is the “Kilroy was here” or “Clem” sign. See his hands, on either side of his head? Te he. But I also do it because of where I got the idea of it, pOp – which is a clown face with a big nose in the middle. Squint and you’ll see.

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Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

17 thoughts on “Why would somebody ask for ‘more ranting’?”

  1. Regarding the third paragraph, yes, you did, you really did, so much so that I was audible three rooms away. When I hung up Loki commented on the great ear-flapping I seemed to have had. Which indeed I did.

    Regarding the need for ritual in this culture around menstruation, if you have it in mind to develop ritual for that purpose, you will need to work fast. Menstruation is on the threshold of being eliminated. Check out New Scientist – this week – on the subject. Interestingly the relevant article also notes that monthly menstruation is by no means the norm in all cultures, twice yearly being typical in many.

  2. Accent grave instructions:
    You have a Mac, which makes it easy. Go to toolbar at top of screen. Click on the lttle flag (for languages). Go to the canadian flag. Click it.
    Type é. It is under the question mark.
    The other one (è) is under the apostrophe.

  3. Also…
    for rituals of mensturation, alas, they are long gone. However, the ‘sentiment’ is chronicled in an historical fiction piece “The Red Tent” by Anita Diamant. Great story. Taken from the ‘Bible’ and run with…
    Main problem with the argument you pose (oh, excuse me, rant) is that the Red Tent appears to have been a matriarchal construct. After all, Judaism is matrilineal. Once the men took over it was all force and no ritual. You are choosing your rant from the masculine side.?

  4. BTW, there are still vestiges of this in orthodox jewish observation. Women are “unclean” for 14 days after the onset of each cycle, after which the husband avails himself.
    Where was he for the 14 days?
    The ritual of menstruation only ever applied to unmarried young women and married older ones. The others (non-observers) have always done whatever.
    You know who you are…and are not. In other words, it has always been observed by women and almost never by men. Therefore, attempting to deconstruct this with a male mind does not work. The observance has really only ever been made by women, whether enforced by religious law or not.
    Perhaps this is more food for rant for your disgruntled reader?

  5. guess I’ll have to hold my “JOKE” sign up higher…I’ll get a PARADOX one while I am at it..

  6. >monthly menstruation is by no means the norm in all cultures, twice yearly being typical in many.

    It’s not just the nourishment, it’s the lack of the constant cycle of pregnancy and lactation. I had a whole chunk of time (5 years or so) when I was preggers or breast-feeding most of the time, and menstruation was less than 50%.

    And for those on “the pill” – just do what female astronauts have been doing for the last twenty years – take it continuously to suppress menstruation. My daughter found than was very convenient for her trip to Europe.

  7. Chipper my IRONY sign dipped below the horizon; my arms get tired holding it up all the time. <<<< Ceci n'est pas l'ironie. I was attempting a world weary tone but just looked like a cow. As for the constant cycling, my 4.5 years of pregnancy and nursing was a nice break from the hormonal whimwhams. The thing that excites me most about menopause is the amazing idea that I will GO BACK TO BEING THE SAME PERSON EVERY DAY. Like I got prior to puberty, after I got pregnant, while I was nursing and the four months I was on Prozac. And what a f8cking horror show THAT was, another time, another venue. I've never wanted to be a man, and own (or be owned by) a dick; the notion of having an excitable, ill-disciplined and bipolar meatstick in my pants has very little appeal. But I sure would like to toss periods over the side as fast I can; menopause cannot come fast enough as far as I am concerned. I want my brain back and my moods to level out. Where I am right now hormonally plays out, emotionally, a lot like adolescence & it wipes bear ass.

  8. >Where I am right now hormonally plays out, emotionally, a lot like adolescence

    Yes, I had noticed, but it endears you to me no less.

  9. Made me think of the ancient (in two senses) greek philosopher who commented that when he became disinterested in women it was like being released from bondage with a wild animal.

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