Today’s the anniversary of the day I told Paul I was calling it quits.  I phoned Tammy a year ago today and told her I wanted to kill myself.  (I did, too, despite being told that I was being manipulative.) Instead of freaking out, she listened; at the end of about half an hour, she said, in a tone of voice that I recollect when I think I’m friendless (her tone being solemn, helpful and engaged) “You don’t want to kill yourself.  You want a divorce.”

Now I am sure that there a couple of people out there who wish I had offed myself, but frankly I’m glad I didn’t, as a couple of things have happened since that I am glad I lived through.

So today, I’d just like to say a couple of things.  The person sitting next to you may look fine and want to die.  Go easy on people; you don’t know what griefs they are carrying that you really wish you’d known about in advance.  In the rush to judgment do not trample compassion.
The other thing I want to say is that over the span of the last year, a lot of people I thought I knew have revealed their true colours to me.  A lot of people I respect have earned more of my respect.  A lot of people I like have become more likeable.  And a number of people I thought I hated have turned out to be poor, suffering bastards deserving of love and compassion and kindness.  I can’t make them like me – such is not within my power – but I have stopped hating, and that’s a really good place to find myself a year onwards.

Oh, and I think I’ve found somebody to date.  He’s very private and a bit of a Luddite, so I am mentioning his existence only as passing news, as he will not otherwise be turning up in my blog. But anybody who’s into contradancing can’t be all bad, right Chipper?

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Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

6 thoughts on “Anniversary”

  1. Congratulations, I can’t believe it has been one year already — time sure does fly, maybe not as fast for you.

  2. Luddite dancer? Most of who I have met dancing are anything but luddites. They tend to the computer nerd part of the equation.
    Danger, danger Will Robinson! However, perhaps it means you will dance also.

  3. Anything to get me off my ass. As for being a Luddite, how bad can it be if I found him on Craigslist. Funniest of all… he didn’t run an ad. He didn’t talk about himself at all. He wrote a parody of Some Enchanted Evening. (Way to a goil’s heart). And unless I can get him into a headlock, any further information about him will likely be of the most superficial kind.

  4. Who’s the very attractive guy smiling at the camera in the Christmas Party group picture? … and is this the guy mentioned in your above comment?

    Also, I wish you a Merry Christmas NOW, in the event that I get too busy to do so later. Spence and I drove down to Providence to PU Jenn and returned through a snow storm — roads completely snow covered (it was questionable where the road was!!) and poor visability, BUT Jenn is home safe and sound with her new puppy (7 month old Ridgeback).

    Big Hugs, Debbie

  5. That would be the fabulous Jim E., guitarist, raconteur, engineer and daddy. I’ve worked with him for ten years; I’d take a bullet for that guy. And ….absolutely not, he’s married to the even more fabulous Carol.

    I like everybody in the picture; and that’s Kopper off to the right with a particularly beguiling smile on her face.

    If I can get the merry Luddite to sit still for a picture, or allow me to repost the pic of him in Morris dancing gear, I will do so.

    May you and yours enjoy the rich blessings of the holiday season. Big Hugs right back at you.

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