Welp, it’s official. The xray came back and there’s something amiss amidships. I see the doc March 3rd, but I don’t think I’ll march forth. It’s physio for me… likely. Physio I can’t afford. Man, I love being unemployed.
I find it absolutely hilarious that I got my first offer of sex in like I don’t know, a year? …. immediately after I informed my interlocutor that even if I was interested, I am not physically capable at the moment. I’m not saying men are clueless, but they sure can concentrate on themselves and their needs to the extent that they become stone… fucking… deaf. The little dears. Reg will be Reg.
Since I’m never going to date again, I thought I’d take this list and whack it like a rhetorical piñata for a while.
1. It all went fine until we got to the cat. After that I don’t remember much, although I do remember waking up in the ambo and thinking “Holy fuck, I hope that’s not all MY blood.”
2. This is a genuinely hilarious idea, and if I was a few years younger and dating a man with a sense of humour, I would totally go for it.
3. I think I have sufficient costumery to cover this in style.
4. Only if we’re doing it on Bowen Island; you end up at the labyrinth if you do this.
5. This should only be done on a double date. It will increase all of the fun. For variance, include kids from previous liaisons.
6. Nah. Fuckers would just assume the book was used and hate on the retail staff. Do not do things which will make fuckers hate on the retail staff.
7. I cannot think of anything which would bring irritation to the boil faster than this, but on the other hand it might be totally fun, except that every time I ever did this with a guy he ended up steering the story over to emergency blow jobs.
8. Only if I have something that does the bending for me, otherwise it’s going to look like I got to the edge of my neighbour’s yard and gave up.
9. A charming notion.
10. Nope. Trees are too small to hide this ass behind. Van Dusen Gardens, mebbe.
11. This could be genuine hilarious and memorable. I’d start at the cruise ship dock and work my way through Gastown, Chinatown, and East Hastings.
12. This is TOTES a fannish activity. People have been doing this in sf fandom since the 30’s, possibly earlier.
13. See, I’d REALLY HAVE TO TRUST HIM. This is how you end up in the newspapers, sisters.
14. Only if I’m leaving hangar rash on every sport ute and noise kit vehicle in the parking lot.
15. Not with this pubic symphisis, but in your 20’s it’s a hoot.
16. I have actually done this; with the right person it’s so funny you’ll be needing oxygen by the time it’s done.
17. I gave away my superhero costume to Mary Crowell, but I have NO REGRETS.
18. Had me and my imaginary sexytimefriend but the funds.
19. Only with my mask…
20. Only at Wreck Beach…..