I decided to come up with a bunch of insults and threats around the word ‘taint.’ I know, I’m deranged.
Kick him in the taint with a Mexican boot!
Kick his taint into his gargle zone! (I pictured a whole animated ten seconds to go with this which was very funny, trust me)
Strain his taint through his teeth with a good swift kick!
Torque his taint to 1500 ft lbs!
May centipedes roam freely on his taint!
I shall freeze-dry his taint and use it for tea!
Cut his taint in two and make curtains for his asshole!
May frost dancers carve his taint with their toe-rakes!
Throw his taint to the feral cats / raccoons / coyotes / crows / ravens / eagles / vultures.