I’ve been working on comedy routines. The current one is “what happens when my inner Buddha meets my inner Hitler” (hint, Buddha doesn’t always keep his teeth) and the inner Gord. I am having lots of fun, as Gord just said something entertaining which I need to write down.
I’m off to visit the Luddite tonight and have food with him. I tried to get him to cook for me but he made grim pronouncements about burning things so I think we’re going for Chinese. It’s certainly a treat to meet somebody more optimistic than I am.
There’s another goddamned foot of snow on the hill here. I am sure the ski operators are peeing their snowpants with glee but I had to heave a bundle buggy full of crockpot and crockery and food through it both ways yesterday. I had to stop about three times coming back up the hill and check my pulse to make sure I was in the right zone for my fitness level.
Right now I am very happy. I know that what I am about to describe will sound like the third circle of hell to some people, but my girlfriend Tammy phoned last night and we spent TWO HOURS on the phone, role-playing ‘difficult conversations with people we love’. Tammy’s got more training in this than I do, so I’d say, blah blah need to talk to you about something are you ready to hear it, and she’d say. Yeah.
So I’d say my thing, and she’d say, “You’re not quite getting it. You need to only talk about one thing.”
“It is only one thing.”
“No, it’s two. This and this.”
And I’d pout, and try again.
“You’re still trying to talk about two things at once.”
“F)ck, no I’m not!!”
“Yes you are. There’s this… and there’s this. Two separate issues. You have to respect the person you’re talking to by only dealing with one issue, that you’ve thought through, at one time.”
“AAAAAAAAAAARgh.” (More briefing? More briefing.)
She’s right of course. I almost had the hang of one corner of it by the time we signed off. And this morning I’m happy, because as I prepare for a ‘difficult conversation with someone I love’ I’m a little closer to getting my half of it right. Is it a particular person? A particular conversation? Nope. It’s just life. Be prepared – and if you can’t be prepared, be present.
Briefing is spelled with a “w.”
Who/what is Gord?
Thank you for the cue on paronia. Almost as much fun there as resistentialism.
I agree – if you can’t be prepared, be present. “Decisions are made by those who show up.” Having been both unprepared and absent for five months, I believe I am approaching readiness to rejoin the world, and you are at least in part to be thanked for that.
The Happiness Hypothesis proceeds apace.
Paronia?? That should be pronoia. Paronia is something in B Flat Major. This probably qualifies as a Freudian slip. (“All slips are Freudian.”)
Gord is a beer swilling 30s-ish Canadian male with a high school education. He busts into a rather one sided altercation between my inner Hitler and my inner Buddha with the trenchant comment, “Well f(ck you anyway Buddha! You’re just a rich kid and Hitler’s a VETERAN!!!!!”
I leave you now to contemplate the sheer richness of this image.
Re: Role Playing. Jim and I have used this technique to improve our communication skills AND I can attest to the fact that it is very difficult to do. The person speaking has to stick to one issue and the person listening has to listen and really try to understand what the other person is saying (not start preparing their defence in their head).
I find it virtually impossible to stick to one topic and to not try to be humorous instead of on task. You are so right – active listening has got to be the hardest thing to do ever that involves holding still.