More Garage Band

Heavens. I’ve messed together another song.  The first one was a charming novelty tune called “Not Ready Yet”, and this one is now entitled “Karaoke at the Hellmouth”.  The backstory is that twin demons (they are actually hatchlings from the same clutch) have come to this plane to participate in karaoke for the very first time and one of them gets drunk and passes out during the song, and their performance is further complicated by their inability to form anything resembling consonants.  The wizard they tormented into assisting them on their hellish quest wisely put a liplock on them, so all they can do is howl and gargle, tantalizingly close to being on key, but never quite there, and certainly not capable of saying anything in their ghastly language, which can break glass or drill nails out if used in our plane.  A four year old child accompanies them on Mellotron, a fourteen year old on bass, and the pseudohorns and drum kit does the rest.  Don’t I make it sound attractive?

20 questions

Why do certain wavelengths of light trigger my migraines?

Where does the feeling I get when I’m working on a song come from?

Out of 100 married or common law men, who are married to or cohabiting with women, how many are actually gay or bi and not telling their spouses?

If I really could physically transform myself into a man, and knew I’d be able to go back to being female, would I do it?

Is Justin Trudeau going to be the next leader of the Liberal party, despite swearing that he isn’t?

Is Gregor Robertson going to be a good mayor?  (He’s sure doing the Obama get out the vote thing.  And you know, frankly, any guy who gets busted for farescoffing is gonna be five-by-five by me.)

Am I ever going to have a lap cat again?

Are you coming to my birthday party? (sing out if you haven’t been invited).

How the hell do you save a Garage Band file as another kind of audio?  Oh.  Okay, I figured it out. But don’t expex to be able to play it unless you can convert it to MP3.  And DON’T convert it unless you want to hear a minute long shoegazer song that sounds like I’m being backed up by that chick from the Star Trek theme song and two werewolves.  Truth in advertizing.

Is anybody else as grateful as me for the break in the weather yesterday??? It was warm enough to sit outside and have coffee, and it wasn’t peeing rain.  Yes, I saw Dax again yesterday.  He’s doing much better and he didn’t mention Katie at all.  He laughed his ass off when I described what I am doing with Garage Band.

Is Keith ever going to get over his love affair with GTA IV?  Yesterday was “I will crash into everything” day.

Is Allegra going to remember to keep her liquor store receipts in future?  The ******* Stella Artois was skunky.  I said **** this for ***********, I’m going to get more Lion Winter Ale.  And I did, too.

How many disgusting figurines will ScaryClown make on his two weeks of vacation?  I’ve seen one from his facebook links, and he still hasn’t answered my question about where he’s hosting now so I can repost the link to his homepage.  Anyway, the most recent one is either an aborted alien fetus or fresh Hellmouth spawn, and yet it is strangely cute and inoffensive, like all of his work.  There is a tension between his touching innocence and his stated and raging depravity that is reflected in his art.

Anybody know about a good USB mike?

What do you say to somebody who has an amazing life and committed friends and doesn’t understand or appreciate it?

How do you help a moron?  This is actually a different question that the last one. Which reminds me of a joke – how do you make a sword invisible, answer, let a coward wear it.

Do you think there will be anti-atheist rioting in the US within the next four years?

Do you think the Mormons know what they have done to their church by their successful efforts to kill Prop 8 in California?  (Sample banner : No more Mr. Nice Gay).  I really don’t think it’s a fair fight; queers have been substantially more discriminated against for longer.

Did you eat a good breakfast?

Are you going to do something good for the world today?