Well my momma lived next door to Bela Lugosi
He kept trying to give her cigars
and I was too polite to say “I think you’re lyin'”
so I said, “Alan, I think you’ve been working too hard.”
NO she really did live next door to Bela!
Call her in Ft. Lauderdale and you will see
I thought, I gotta think of something to one-up this puppy
so I dug down deep in my memory
I said
I was seen
by our royal queen
In my crib when I was less than a year
And she leaned right in and she cooed so loud
my grandma and my auntie could hear
Then they misspelled my name
in a newspaper clipping
when I clap my hands, it appears!
and he said
that’s real nice
but it cuts no ice
cause BELA LUGOSI IS THE KING AROUND HERE
Bela Lugosi is the kind around here, Bela Lugosi
Bela Lugosi is the kind around here, Bela Lugosi
Well I split a cab with Sinead O’Connor
I could tell she’d kill for a smoke
I said, as soon as we get out and hit the sidewalk
we’ll go someplace quiet and crack some jokes
Wish ta hell I could remember what she said
it was a cutting remark and she cut me dead
I live in mortal fear that we’ll run out of beer
but BELA LUGOSI IS THE KING AROUND HERE
Bela Lugosi is the kind around here, Bela Lugosi
Bela Lugosi is the kind around here, Bela Lugosi
Well I want you all to know I had an alien’s baby
and everything came out fine, but the eyes
and when she smiles all her teeth are a little bit pointy
and she never seems to be the least bit surprised
I showed her Plan 9 From Outer Space
she said, that’s it, I give up on the whole human race
HAVE NO FEAR SOMEONE BROUGHT MORE BEER
and BELA LUGOSI IS THE KING AROUND HERE
Bela Lugosi is the kind around here, Bela Lugosi
Bela Lugosi is the kind around here, Bela Lugosi
Apparently this is Peter Alway’s favourite song of mine. Takes all kinds, my darlings.
