I don’t ask too much of life, I’m a regular kind of a guy
but I got a job that makes me scream and yell and cry
my coworkers are panicking, don’t know which way to jump
but I’m hiding in the men’s room and I’m taking a company dump
WHEN I’m feeling ner-vous, when I’m in a slump
I flush my little cares away and take a company dump
WHEN my work life hands me a little plate of lumps
I flush my little cares away and take a company dump
The boss looks like a thundercloud he’s storming up and down
But I saw it coming and I’m nowhere to be found
the sports section is on my knee I’m in my favourite stall
and the only thought that’s in my head is a cheerful “Screw you all!”
WHEN I’m feeling ner-vous, when I’m in a slump
I flush my little cares away and take a company dump
WHEN my work life hands me a little plate of lumps
I flush my little cares away and take a company dump
What am I supposed to do I’m just a normal slob
it’s hard to keep my sanity and also keep my job
I am past my eyes in debt, my wife is up a stump
and the only peace I ever get is taking a company dump
WHEN I’m feeling ner-vous, when I’m in a slump
I flush my little cares away and take a company dump
WHEN my work life hands me a little plate of lumps
I flush my little cares away and take a company dump
This song was written for JS when we both worked for SR Telecom. He had the worst undiagnosed case of ADD I’ve ever seen in my entire life and he took the paper with him into the bathroom and then said go ahead and read it afterward and I’m like NOOOOOOO
The Evening News is also about my job at SR Telecom, and there’s one other song I wrote while I was there that I really like…. maybe you’ll see it tomorrow.
