It’s autumn in the city and I am scuffling
unsavory
sitting across from the everything store
(Holt Renfrew on Bloor
I love to watch the people going in
I love to watch them coming out so much more
I ask them did you find what you want
do they stock in your size
did you find you have eyes bigger than your wallet
did they serve you in style?
did the waitperson smile
it’s a fix, now, no matter what you call it
I saw 60 dollar silk blouses in the garment
district
700 dollar virgin wool suits uptown
it’s this always always wanting and never having
and not deserving
especially the not deserving that’s getting me down
I tell myself Will you never grow up?
Don’t you know good things aren’t cheap?
all the fine things in life always have their price tag
but it’s wearing me out
I want to strip off my self doubt
and go out
and buy some brand new nice rags
After window shopping it’s back to my rooftop,
my skyline
the pulse of the waves, the insomniac geese
Like a jewel box broken and spilled open sideways
it lies there
from the highway to the towers that lie in the east
I cry
will you always be there
will you never fall down
why do I see you best coming up for night time
There’s no cash in my coat
and the wind’s at my throat
but it’s dusk
and I’m in the right place at the right time
