ai yi

walked down to the weed store, lord but I’m in poor shape, even downhill was tough, and coming back uphill involved me planting my ass on every bit of furniture between here and there at least once.

Procured a poopsi at the donair place across the street from the weed store and after finishing it managed to make it home. I was dressed entirely in black so let’s just say the sun’s still doing their job.

ordered thai- nom

I am now in a parasocial relationship with an actor NOT IN HIS ROLE but in his role as HUCKSTER for the role. (David Tennant, as Crowley in Good Omens.) This is perilous layers of unproductive meta (I use it in the sense of people walking in and among and beside the artistic ideas which are being represented by an engrammatical ‘story’ as players, production staff, writers, relatives of the writers of the original text, media reporting on the fixed form of the engrammatical ‘story’, people creating paintings and gifsets and fan edits and AO3 stories and beadwork and t-shirts which reflect their emotions and experience, the feeling of reaching across and through an artwork and just holding hands with someone and crying, just crying, because you feel seen and loved, and then wearing them while they stream about the engrammatical ‘story’ because it’s something precious and fleeting and needs to be shared), as I will demonstrate,

as I’ve already BEEN through this with Misha Collins as Castiel, so I’m shoving the idea out of my mind like a warbler who’s twigged to the cuckoo’s egg. Not very successfully. These things happen.

Whether this newfound tendresse, or the caution it will hopefully engender as I heave it from my sensorium with many a psychic grunt and wail, will inform the longing I hope to continuously expose as a feature of Totally Boned (as you may not know, the longest of my current projects and the one which, despite itself, continues to show signs of actually being … worth charging money for.)

Anyway, the pattern-seeking in art across disciplines – the meta’s an outgrowth of this. I mean, as a cultural phenomenon it has all the appearance of some weird variant of an anxiety attack, or as more likely on second consideration, a cultural displacement behaviour for the ever trending anxiety that is our daily portion. Sad to say this is the shit my ADD brain was made for. I don’t worry about what I’ve got in my head, all I’m concerned for is that the useful items appear in the order in which they are needed, at least with respect to my creative life; I’ve never known to have truly seen whether I can do that in my personal life. It seems to me that there was a time, but I ain’t got the hormones to do that no more; ‘most everything has shrunk, my field of vision most of all. “The air gets thinner but the view gets better,” as Ingmar Bergman once remarked. In my case I’m looking through a smaller aperture. I can’t control my mood, or, necessarily, my energy level, so writing is hard some days and not others. Multi-thousand word days SOUND good, but I burn glucose and brain chemicals like a fucking thermal lance while I’m doing it and feel like hell for literally days afterwards so I now am writing to an upper limit of 750 words a day for my health. I know that sounds funny, regrettably I care not with great lots of uncaringness, parcelled out for your convenience. My hypocrisies and vices are what they are; we’re living on borrowed time, all of us, and the reason I’m angry I didn’t get a resolution in this Season 2 of Good Omens is that I think society is about to break in half and then get ground to powder

so I’ll never get one. Logistics of war, of plague, of planetary threats unknown.

On the other hand, in a basement in Pasadena, a cabal of high school students, queer studies professors, elderly film directors, amateur set decorators and body double actors are depending on one young non-binary person to carry the weight of successfully using AI to create an entire film to ‘fix’ the notorious last season of a long running TV horror-comedy. Let those who ponder the meta, who enter the liminal space of the meta with the breath of a prayer, take warning, for that, my fellow lunatics, is a project with a much better chance of seeing daylight before the apocalypse really bites than S3 of Good Omens. We who have faith have faith for a reason. In other words, I’m making fun of it, but I have to; if I can’t mock what I believe in, I’m a victim, not a collaborator with an idea. And this whole Pasadena thing I made up on the spot, because it would be a great idea for a Destiel fanfic and I needed to make a note of it.

it ain’t the end of the world

It just reads like it on the page


from the NOAA site today

Valid 12Z Mon Aug 07 2023 – 12Z Wed Aug 09 2023 …Increased threat for severe thunderstorms and flash flooding today from the Tennessee and Upper Ohio River valleys into much of the eastern U.S… …Record heat expected from Texas, eastward along the Gulf Coast into Florida through Tuesday… …Elevated fire weather risks for central/western Texas and around the Four Corners region… …Heavy rain and localized flash flooding possible for the interior Pacific Northwest into the Northern Rockies today… A fairly strong storm system will track eastward from the lower Great Lakes and Midwest today, with an associated cold front reaching the Mid-Atlantic coast late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. Numerous thunderstorms are expected ahead of the cold front today, some of which are expected to be severe, containing the potential for tornadoes, damaging straight line winds, large hail and flash flooding. The greatest risk for all of these hazards will be across the northern Mid-Atlantic region but the severe storm and flash flood threats will extend across a broad region covering the Upper Ohio/Tennessee valleys into the Southeast, Mid-Atlantic and Northeast. Thunderstorms are expected to develop in the early afternoon and increase in coverage at they move to the lee of the Appalachians later this afternoon and evening. Daytime heating is also expected to develop the potential for severe thunderstorms and flash flooding across the central High Plains with wind and hail being the primary threats, maximizing during the afternoon and evening hours. Across the Pacific Northwest, an approaching upper level disturbance will track over Washington and Oregon into the northern Great Basin over the next 24 hours. This system will aid in the development of diurnally driven convection, posing an elevated risk for flash flooding from northeastern Washington into the Idaho Panhandle and far northeastern Oregon where Flood Watches are in effect through late this evening. Drier conditions are expected across the Northwest for Tuesday. While another upper level disturbance will approach for Tuesday night, flash flooding and/or severe storms are not expected at this time. Across the South, dangerously hot daytime temperatures will again set up from the Desert Southwest into Texas, extending eastward along the Gulf Coast into portions of the Southeast and Florida today and Tuesday. Record high temperatures are expected to occur again from western Texas, eastward to the eastern Gulf Coast region with temperatures reaching from the upper 90s to middle 100s. Heat index values of 105 to 115 will be possible both today and Tuesday for these same locations and Excessive Heat Warnings or Heat Advisories are in place from the Desert Southwest to the Southeast, roughly from I-20 southward (locations east of Midland, TX), or near I-10 for locations across the Desert Southwest. In addition to the hot temperatures across the southern tier of the nation, there will continue to be an elevated fire weather risk across portions of the Four Corners states into Texas. Dry ground conditions, low relative humidities and gusty winds will continue to support the fire weather threat across these areas.

phone calls etc

Long, heartcrunchin’ phone call with Tammy yesterday, so necessary and so fucking horrifying. Families can save or wreck us, that’s for sure. Candles up for her and her mother, and those poor great-niblings whose mother passed from the scourge of drug addiction.

Lovely convo with Dave. His apartment plumbing problems continue; I was about to write ‘his plumbing problems continue’ but virtually everyone who reads this blog would have misinterpreted that one so I had to fix it. Poor guy had to listen to me bloviate about TB, he would have been in his rights to quietly disconnect the call at that point. But I had THINGS TO SAY about writing a romance where there is utterly no sex at all and no prospect of any.

Jeff has returned. Buster ignored him for thirty whole seconds and then indicated that me he, and what a typo lol, might just be a lot happier now that he’s home.

Zibethicus the billionaire muskrat has announced that he may have to have surgery before his cage fight with Mark Zuckerberg, so he’s obviously whiffing already. What a fucking putz.

I am still not okay with the end of S2 Good Omens. I feel like someone has been cruel to me.

Still loving Twisted Metal though.

I’ve actually put some laundry away already. Now to finish in the kitchen and make myself some breakfast and try to pretend that I am a CONTENT CREATOR gordammit.

Useful site. well no not really but