Author: Allegra

Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

The perfect wedding

I guess I have to say that I don’t feel bad at all about being almost 50, because it means I’ve attended a fair few marriage ceremonies.  I have some basis of comparison, then, when I say that Jerome and Shannon’s wedding was the closest to perfect I’ve ever seen.

A marriage, you know, one of those commitments not to be entered into lightly or with no thought.

First, the happy couple.  Hardworking, intelligent, hospitable and good-looking.  Once in a very long while you meet a couple made for each other and when you get the news they’re engaged you get all wiggly like a puppy that something good is gonna be happening and you’re gonna be invited.

The venue: on a near cloudless day, warm with a bit of a breeze, they married outdoors next to the pavilion in Deer Lake Park, in front of about 100 people who had flown or driven from all over Washington or Western Canada.

The bridal party: Three stunning women in beautiful red strapless dresses that they all looked good in and which they would all be able to wear again for a formal occasion.  The groomsmen: two guys who go back to the dawn of time with Jerome, and his twin sister, who, uh, goes back even earlier than that.  Joanna got to wear the same red gown, and the whole party looked great – and happy to be there.

The bridal costume:  While I still think Cheryl’s wedding gown was magnificent, it was appropriate for her age and not being marriage number one.  THIS was a full on girly girl, long train, beads and spangles, white wedding dress. It was exactly like the kind of dress 8 year old girls dream about, and it was quite funny because Shannon is not a girly girl, but she still had the perfect dress.

The ceremony started and ended on time.  I don’t think the bride and groom recited their vows with quite enough intent and dignity, but that’s just me and they still got the job done.

The officiating dude:  He was the possessor of  a clear mellow voice with an English accent and he didn’t rush anything.

The presence of mind of the groom:  While they were reciting vows, a small spider started down Shannon’s face (it had probably joined the ceremony during the picture taking just before the ceremony).  Shannon’s arachnophobia is legendary, and Jerome dealt with it calmly.  She was laughing at him as he tried to clear it off her face because he didn’t tell her it was a spider until AFTER which was kinda the right thing to do if he didn’t want her leaping up and screeching.

The reception hall was exactly the right size and there was an open bar.  No, I didn’t go insane (I am up at 6 am the next day after all) but I got plenty convivial.

The music at the reception:  from the last 50 years, but leaning more towards U2 and Aerosmith and Tom Petty and Tragically Hip and Pink Floyd, with Sinatra and Del Shannon thrown in.  Danceable, hummable, fun.

The guests; fun loving.  The table I sat at:  All people I know and love, or would care to get to know better.  The MC:  a friend of Shannon’s who goes back yonks; he did a good job.  The best man.  Okay, I’m prejudiced, because I really like Sam I Am, but that was THE BEST speech ever.  It was completely loaded with electricity puns.  Loaded.  pOp, if you’d been there even if you would have been roaring:  All of his current and former coworkers were speechless with laughter, not the nervous kind but the kind where you are leaning on the table crying.

Food:  really good roast beast and plenty of other nummy things, in abundance, well cooked.

The dancing:   I was out there with a crowd of coworkers when Robbie B said, “Oh my god Allegra did you see that?” “What, the father of the bride delivering jello shooters onto the dance floor?” “How perfect is that?” “I think it was an epoch making day in Canadian history, frankly, and WE WERE HERE.”

The seating plans:  Weddings with four parents – none of whom really can sit at the same table – don’t necessarily work all that well.  There wasn’t any awkwardness.

Shannon said (she was grinning) during the bride and groom speech that she had made a Powerpoint presentation to the caterers, so you get the impression she’s a disciplined and organized woman.  Well, I’d say it paid off, because Shannon and Jerome made the decision from the outset to throw a memorable party for their friends and family, and they got their wish.  I had a complete blast.  Many thanks to Mike for the ride to the hall and companionship during the evening…. at one point a photographer asked if we were together and we just smirked, while the other folks at the table laughed.  And thanks to Jeff for getting me there, I appreciate that a lot.

Wasn’t that a party…..  If any of my pix turned out halfway decent I’ll post some later.

What’s with Toronto this summer? + added politics, movies

So much boomage.

I saw Thin Red Line last night, it being one of the lifetime list movies.  I really liked it; it sure was paced in a strange way.  Parts of it moved so fast that it was hard to maintain some understanding of the action, and parts were so slow that I felt like I was moving into glacier time.  The casting was great and I can see why Jim Caviezel’s performance made Mel Gibson think of him for Jesus six years later for the Passion of the Christ.

It was so nice having Keith here last night.  On the way out the door he told a joke that had me laughing so hard I cried.  Keith can do that do me.  I responded with, “Did you notice how McCain said Fight with me the other night in his speech?  I know he meant fight WITH me but when I read the headline I thought, Jeez, John, I may be a dumpy fifty year old woman with a bad back, but I’m going to kick the snot out of yaz.  By your invitation even.

I liked this commentary on the Republican National Convention.

Yippeeeee!  David Emerson is NOT running for office again here in this riding.  Excuse me while I’m thrilled; now I have to figure who to vote for to keep Harper’s Conservatives out.  Not a fan so far; the war drums, the social conservatism and the expletive insanity about DRM – which, may inertia be thanked, will died on the order table ‘fore the election – the smarmy letter I got in response to my complaint about the peacetime initiative to allow American troops on Canadian soilunder special circumstances’ = or whenever the Canadian government feels like asking them – oh yeah, not thrilled with the Conservatives.  That another political party would piss me off as bad in different ways is par for the course, and what a depressing prospect, etc.

Woo hoo!  Jerome/Shannon are getting married today!  I think I have to  bring a chair.  It’s happening outdoors rain or shine, so I wonder if I’m getting wet this afternoon.

No sign of Katie.  I just texted her.  It’s annoying but I suppose that’s an improvement, it used to be scary.

Friday Roundup

Watched the opening sequence of Quake IV – not bad, but derivative, like everything else in the universe, including my own DNA f’chrissakes.

I CAN’T get Young Dumb and Crazy out of my head, I was singing it all day, mixed in with the Blasteeze the Laxative Coughdrops Song. “There will be a brief hi-a-tus, then, the mentholated flatus; pop these babies in your mouth, and soon your drawers are headed south.” Yeah, I sang that every time I went by HR today.  Kind of without really realizing what I was doing.  HR is next to the washroom, after all.

I light a candle for Tanya and her hubby – a swift recovery and sweet sweet sleep for both of them, please thanks kbai.

I light a candle for Patricia, and she knows why.

I light a candle for Gianna, who has one of the most infectious laughs I have ever heard.

I light a candle for Robof9, and he knows why.

I light a blowtorch of a candle for Paul, and he knows why.

I light a candle for the start of another church year and the success of the fall gathering.  (It’s a church thingy, the regional fall gathering.)

I won’t be going to church on Sunday as ScaryClown is going to try to set a new record for margaritas before lunch and I’m damned if I’ll miss that. Three margaritas would have me running my hand over the waiter’s ass, and it had absolutely no effect that one could detect on ScaryClown.  Jeff and Keith will also be in attendance. I’ll take the camera this time as I love the decor in the restaurant.

The cats are fine.  Eddie’s taken off a little weight and his digestion seems to be a bit better. Gizmo curled up in Jeff’s lap last night and looked up at him adoringly and then farted continuously for about twenty minutes, he was that relaxed.

No word from Katie; I imagine she’ll turn up eventually but she missed getting Switzerland Chicken ordered for her. Please note that she is learning how to play chess; I am sure her uncle will be cheerfully amused and pleased by this intelligence.

Work sux, but in a good way.  You know, the birthing pangs way.

I saw a rainbow this morning.

More NCIS turned up.  That makes me very, very happy.

And tomorrow, the intelligent & beautiful Shannon and the magnificent & useful Jerome will, in front of their friends and family, pledge their intention to spend the rest of their days together.  They got no worse odds than anybody else, in fact I’d say better, and dayum, they will make pretty children.  Me happy.  And I’ll get to see Mike dressed up, which pleases me, and I don’t have to do any grzsly shopping, they want money.

Check Snopes.com for the Palin letter. Innnteresting.

It feels so good to be home and sitting with the folks.  Life’s good.

O to have believed and seen the mighty Hypnotoad!

With my own eyes, my good family, with my own eyes I have seen the glory of Hypnotoad.  I don’t know if Hypnotoad is a boy or a girl; the bio is sketchy.  See I always want to know, when I run into a deity for the first time, if it’s a boy or a girl, because you bet your nougat-sweet butt, that makes a difference when it comes to propitiating time.  Just as it does in daily life, let alone wrasslin’ with deities.

Hypnotoad is a 30 minute cartoon by the demented minds of the makers of Futurama.  It made it onto the DVD of Bender’s Big Score (which is a magnificent film BTW, IMHO & YMMV).  It is about 25 minutes of a cartoon toad with woobly eyes sitting immobile on a white background.  (Interspersed with bizarre other stuff).  The audio consists of a mesmerizing, throbbing, metallic, mechanical, droning sound, or a laugh track which, you would think, would be pointless when little or nothing is changing (interspersed with weird other stuff).  Somehow, they take the notion of a laugh track, pop a sack over its head and give it a couple of quick kicks in the ass.

Perhaps I was giddy from Jeff having completed my taxes (of course they owe me money) and easily amused. I did get restless after a while, but it was still worth seeing.  Hey Jeff!  We should do a Best of Hypnotoad, and edit it down for everything that ‘happens’ and just leave two seconds of standard Hypnotoad.  And before we do that, we should check the Internet to see if somebody’s done it already.

My word, I can’t stop thinking about Hypnotoad.  The woobly eyes are perfectly spherical, with pea green soup “whites” and with irises like gasping mouths or puckering ani.  They gasp at you and then will abruptly be replaced by advertisements for repellent products, blipverts and subliminals about the repellent products, and advertisements for DVDs of 365 episodes of what you just watched, which was almost all Hypnotoad, all the time. It becomes gently and relentlessly recursive.  It is genius, it is madness, it is …. Hypnotoad.

Towards the beginning end of the 30 minutes, Jeff said, “He’s very self-confident, Hypnotoad.”

Katie sleeps here / a very, vary, random post

I only say Katie sleeps here because one of my all time favourite books, A Midwife’s Tale, contains phrases like that a lot.  Just read the book, it has all-inclusive awesomeness.

If I said that feminism only started to suck when it started being taught in schools, as a discipline, would any of you kick me in the slats?

I want to see For All Time. Seriously, Mary McDonell and Mark Harmon in an steampunk SF love epic based on a Rod Serling story?  Where’s my popcorn and hanky!!!!????  OF COURSE it’s not out on DVD, why would two of the biggest tv stars in the world get a DVD of their well thought of TV movie???  Anyway, this is called a hint, Mr. Universe.  Okay, Ms. Universe.  O, Universe, bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia!!! and that movie of course.  And you will, too, if you know what’s good for you.

Very bad night’s sleep.

The system is being shut down at work for a day and half starting noon today.  I srsly gotta get in to work and try to grind through some transactions before the curtain falls.

Strange dreams.

I watched Darjeeling Limited.

Excuse me, o thou great parent of the universe, but I would have watched it a lot sooner if somebody had mentioned the three magic words Natalie Portman naked.  Also, I think Adrien Brody manifests bunnies and excretes cotton candy.

I cooked the folks French toast for brekkie.

Katie’s wearing the pants I got her at H&M.

I did the banking running around yesterday so Katie can get her supplies and pay for first term.  The first cheque I wrote was inadequate; it needed to be carved in two pieces, one hammered and one not.  When I handed over the hammered cheque for 1200 dollars I said, “Katie, if you lose this, it’s like torching 12 100 dollars bills,” sternly, while thinking I’d part with a considerably larger sum to see this day come.

I gotta have a shower, the bus comes in 20 minutes.