sorry about the radio silence

Basically I started drinking beer when I got there, stopped around 7 pm, started having kidney grit again around 2 am, peed into a cup at one point because I couldn’t make it from the trailer to the house, and man, continence is A WHOLE THING of beauty and you really appreciate it when you don’t have it. I woke Jeff up around 6:30 the next morning and we talked it through, whether we wanted to leave in case I got worse, ended up getting the 9 o’clock ferry, more or less, and was greeted by an exceedingly noisy Buster.

But kidney grit aside….

We had an awesome time, can’t say how much, it was balm for my soul. And Jeff is of much the same mind. Brought a PILE of guest gifts mostly to indicate how grateful I am to have access to a miniature Baumfest. Anyway why take flowers? I brought vegetation of a different kind. Also a plaque showing Percy Saltzman saying Tonight’s forecast: low standards, alcohol and poor decisions. I thought Al was about to lose his mind when he saw that. I also brought them four capshields with hardware.

Drank beer ate fishburgers and other food, listened to the waterfall – they have a WATERFALL you can hear FROM THEIR YARD listened to their incredible playlist on spotify and around ten I got to sleep in their extremely comfy trailer in the side yard. I FELL IN LOVE with that trailer, it’s incredible me-sized.

IT WAS FUNNE!

 

This little exchange on the internet may NOT GO AS PLANNED for grandpa but he’ll be dead when his grandson eulogizes him as ‘the man who really accepted my sexuality’ LOLOLOLOL

 

 

Off to Planet Bachelor today

Going to go love on my pipples for a while, this afternoon. I will need a walk so I’m planning on walking over. (later…. not so much, I think I’m working on cystitis or a kidney stone.  Katie is going to drop by later but it’s 10 am and I’m going back to rest.) also thanks to Jeff for being supportive

Trump, trumpity trump I don’t feel sorry for him at all.

Korean pop fans, who for whatever reason have decided to throw their likes behind Black Lives Matter (k-pop is SUPA problematic about cultural appropriation re contemporary black music, but the fans are pure uwu softness) (uwu is emoji talk for ‘cute’ as in HF MY PANCREAS DONE GOT EXPLODEY), reserved a million tickets for Trump’s rally and then because even the GOP voters in Tulsa fitfully experience self-preservation instincts, only 19K showed up.

This morning the feeds are full of the names of bands that got more people into that arena – paying bums in seats – than Trump did. How freude was my schaden.

Also in my feed this morning; antifa rescused a person being pressed to the ground by a single riot policeman with one of the most sincerely launched flying kicks I’ve ever seen. Antifa one, cop sent flying.

San Diego sent TWO THOUSAND youths on skateboards down one of the main drags; full props to whoever managed to do that WHILE HOLDING A HUGE SIGN.

Spoke to Jan and Jim yesterday…. how good to hear their voices.

 

 

 

NOBODY CARES BOUT MAH POOP

except me, of course.

So I was communing with my output in the water closet this morning as one does when one is a hypochondriac like I, and thinking TERRIBLE THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO MY LIVER and then I chanced to remember two facts. One, I’m looking at a perfect 3.5 on the Bristol scale, (so firm, so cylindrical, so fully packed) so relax, ya cheesewit, and second, I’ve been eating nothing but leftover pizza, egg salad with a ton of paprika and half a dozen mandarin oranges for the last two days, so that dreffle bright orange colour is…. nominal.

ah, the relief.

I stopped making masks for a while because Jan in Toronto nearly put her fucking eye out when a needle broke while she was making masks. Mask making involves really large changes in the height of what you’re sewing together and if you go too fast it’s super easy to break a needle. (She’d never had one break….fortunately spouse was home and dealt with the bloodination.)

I realized I was doing it bare-eyed because I don’t have functioning bifocals (I hate them) and realized I was asking for an industrial accident. Fortunately Jeff had a pair but he said the elastic had perished. I learned that I had THE IDENTICAL elastic and both cleaned and maintained the glasses, which are now waiting for me by the sewing machine, so I have no further excuse for my dilatory mask making ways. I also found a bunch of still useful stamps from my granny.  They were on a poster like this.

John H. Talman - Stamps for Sale - Auctions and Retail

courtesy John Talman stamps for sale

I thought pOp would like to know that when I mail him some masks the stamps will be from his mOm, who continues to look out for him, the way mOms do.

 

Starting to think about UPSUN again. Couple hundred words on latest fanfic.

Made raspberry scones this morning.

East Van love

Image

Jennifer Yaeger LPC in Newnan Georgia has this to say

roundup for Thursday

Throwback Thursday picture:

 

 

Roberta on Melody Maid, 1949. south end of barnyard; the circular water trough is downslope and right.

mOm has consumed by latest little puff pastry of a fan fic story and enjoyed it, so there. I cannot bear touching or looking at UPSUN right now so I won’t.  This is a temporary state of affairs.

Lovely walk in the neighbourhood yesterday with Paul; came home and fed him Flower Bread (Balkan style pullapart rolls) and lentil soup, which he removed entirely.

Here’s Helen Branswell on our plague year.

Jesus Fucking Christ, said Jesus Fucking Christ, looking down from heaven at the Korean woman who went to church TWICE AFTER HER DOCTORS TOLD HER TO BE TESTED FOR CORONAVIRUS

Discovery of Witches has been renewed for two more seasons YAH but no release date BOO and of course the whole world will be up in the air as COVID does its thing

June 2005 is up

I got lazy and put the last half of the month under one post.

I wrote 690 words of fanfic yesterday but I’m completely sessile today. I had a ‘bad digestion day’ which was basically me eating a probiotic for the first time in months plus eating cheese and two bowls of lentils in a single 24 hour period and I must say it was windy in here, mighty windy. The cheese & probiotic formed a plug and then the lentils had things to say for about 45 minutes after they rudely and forcefully pushed past the cheese plug, at the end of which I briefly thought of taking a picture and then comparing notes with my pOp but I, even I, restrain myself at the ultimate edge of really poor taste and merely suggest it. Then I nearly passed out. I felt faint for about ten minutes and actually thought about yelling for Jeff but the ghastly weakness faded. I kept my phone close just in case. This much pressure is normally accompanied by high exhaust gas temperature but nope. If Paul ever reads this he needs to know I repeatedly thanked fortune that I had a flush, as opposed to hand pump, toilet, as I would naver have kept up.

That plus the bruised possible broken or cracked floating rib is not making me lively, that’s for damned sure.

I light a candle for a young comrade in Sweden who’s feeling crappy and unloved. I sent him a note to indicate that his crappiness is not evident at least to me.

Katie

Some mornings I wake up at 2 am and get up; this morning I forced myself back to sleep and woke up at 5:30. Like a little kid I lay in bed and thought to myself, “Oh, I hope Katie calls and wants to spend some time with me today!”

Then at a quarter to eight she called and we had breakfast.

It is so easy to make me happy, it’s quite funny.

I’M SEEING MY MOM ON SUNDAY NEXT AND THEN I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW.

And I’m going to see a doc about my suspected septic thyroglossal cyst Friday next, which is now bobbing around on the bottom of my tongue and which accounts for, get this FOUR OF MY SYMPTOMS.

Pain – generally they only hurt if they’re infected. It’s a completely ignorable amount of pain, which is why I’ve been ignoring it. Turns out you’re born with these suckers and they can literally never do anything to announce their presence.

Dysphagia and an occasional sense that my throat is closing over (WHICH LIKELY IMPACTED MY APNEA MACHINE USE)  – which comes and goes depending on how swollen it is, which makes sense considering it’s attached to the bottom of your tongue and moves when it does. Unfortunately this symptom has been MAJOR in telling me that I’m going demented, so finding out there’s another reason has given me life.

Metallic spit – an occasional sensation, see above, which is accompanied by a nasty feeling at the base of my tongue and a completely indescribable sensation in my mouth when it happens. It was MUCH WORSE during my taking antibiotics in November last and kept up for weeks after. Still happens a couple of times a week.

A previous symptom, not present since menopause – I used to get a large pimple on my neck just where they often push fluids and pus to the surface. Who knew.

Bonus symptom: having to hyperextend my neck so I can feel like I can breathe prior to going to sleep.

There is a less than 1 in 100 chance that there is carcinoma present. These things hardly ever go bad that way, although they can randomly collect fluid so they look like a half-goiter or get infected.

I wouldn’t even care about this birth defect – for such it is – but it’s affecting my ability to enjoy food, sleep and sing, the three major reasons I’m alive, so I’m going to try to get a diagnosis and then see if I can’t have it either drained or excised. I’d prefer drained but it would be entertaining to have a throat scar that makes me look right piratical.

 

and god won’t I look silly if I’m wrong about this, but fOlks, I rilly don’t think I am.

 

 

I love my family.

Getting lots of lovely comments on my fanfic. When people like the stuff you wrote for what you think are the right reasons……

embarrassed (the previous day)

Jesus, what a buttload o’ driving we did that day. Back really took a beating.

Anyway, after a fucking brutal amount of driving we were in a Martian landscape with fumaroles. Pics including video when wifi stops barfing. Stench appalling, colours weird – off kilter. Don’t know how else to describe it really.

Then a briefer but still brutal regime of driving and we were at a waterfall or foss as they say in these parts. Pics to follow. I can’t remember what the hell it was called, and I don’t have to, we’ll all get a map with a pronunciation guide at the end, so I’ve been told.  It was big, it had multiple parts, I bought stamps to go with the postcards I acquired from the night before and jesus that reminds me I should post those two I wrote out and stamped.  Wonder if I’ll remember, I doubt it. Anyways it was compared to Niagara Falls and all of us who have seen Niagara Falls laughed our asses off because Niagara Falls would pick it up and love on it for being so goshdarned cute.

Trip to north of ghastly WC, avoided spending any more tourist money cept for stamps.

Then we went to a farm to table restaurant and I paid forty fucking dollars for a very small fraction of a humanely slaughtered and lovingly raised cow nestled in a tasty goulash that gave me an eyewatering case of heartburn. Or maybe it was before the fumaroles. Only the roll of digital pics will give me the gooooddddammned timeline here. I’m just trying to move it along here so I have a minute to repack.

In the middle there somewhere or who knows really it’s all the most excellent blur, we saw FALSE VOLCANOES. These are formations which happen when a certain viscosity/composition/density of lava rolls out over wetlands. You get these miniature cones which are … well, miniature. I loved them. Pics later, relax.

Okay I’ll try.

Nope, barfed again.

Then we went to a real forest. Some enterprising farming family planted trees on their property overlooking The Lake of Midges for the best part of half a century and when the old lady died she deeded it to Iceland. FUCK I LOVE ICELAND. Short hill, nice view, incredibly tame birds and there will be pics, yeah whatever.

Then. The Darkwood.

I had a really really really bad feeling the entire time I was there. The landscape is effin’ creepy. I took pics, including one I think is the jewel so far, but anyway, it’s not a wood. It’s crumbling towers of evil looking stone, as if ogres and trolls had really been frozen in place and then were subject to ten thousand years of weathering. Another kind of formation from lava on wetland. I could not fucking wait to get out of there and felt much better the second I was gone. The equivalent of Santa lives there but in Iceland the Santa’s Mom will eat you if you’re naughty so I guess…. well anyway things are a little less scary in Iceland now since the government asked people nicely to stop telling stories that made their kids not want to leave the house in December. Wish I was kidding.

Then another foss, including a closeup of a piece of ice melt the size of a school bus, long freaking walk in the wind, unpleasant trek to a WC which the guide said was the worst rest stop in Iceland (ten portapotties, five a side back to back ) – cheerfully – and after viewing the digestive output of a hundred strangers at much closer range than would made any but the most scatologically devoted happy, I was forced to experience something I’ve never had to before; the sensation that some mofo was trying to tip the loo over. I was so terrified I braced my hand against the wall, always the worst possible idea in a port a potty, but it proved that the violent rocking motion which so disturbed my attempt to commune with nature was merely what happened when a two hundred fifty pound man bounded up onto the wooden walkway surrounding the loos.

Imagine that despite my description…. there was virtually no smell. THAT WAS HOW HARD THE WIND WAS BLOWING.

I slunk back onto the tour bus last, kinda wishing I could be hosed down in Dettol first.

Then a long long long long longass drive and we climbed a mountain and took pics and we saw a thousand migrating birds and then came down the other side good god my tummy and came to the city of Elves and saw puffins. SLEEP.

Anyway it was a long day, long driving, much walking and many definitive Experiences.

 

 

today’s non-events

Got into a beatdown with a bunch of one of the most self-righteous pot activists (like there’s another fucking kind) on twitter today.

Come ON I smoke, but I don’t smoke and blow smoke in the faces of the allergic and the elderly, and they’re announcing it’s their RIGHT, because this is VANCOUVER, home of TOLERANCE. Yeah I’ll believe that when Canada gives back the unceded lands, you unregenerate failure of logic. I’m like a homophobe for harshing their mellow. Srsly. Got accused of equivalency to homophobia for objecting to people dousing the entire west end in pot smoke for their stupid fucking 420 festival (which leaves heaps of trash mounded everywhere and they’re all cryface because they didn’t get a fucking permit.) F*ck me!

I realized that when you put asterisks in f*cking swearwords you’re putting a leedle asshole right in the meedle of the word and since when you’re swearing there’s usually an asshole involved, it’s mesmerizingly poifect.

I love Buster, he’s an amazing cat. And he loves me too, I know it. I don’t think Miss Margot cares if I live or die, but Buster does.

My latest piece of fanfic smut has more than five hundred likes (it’s cute and hot, so there)

I’ve written a BDSM scene in the same ‘verse but I’m not happy with it yet. I had to put in about 200 words about how the scene is ‘necessary but non-consensual’ which kinda blows (or not!) since scenes need consent if they’re to resonate with me writing, at all. So it’s like “We’ve talked about this – I hate it when you want me (and need me) to top you but I’m s’posed to read your mind – and topping when you’re angry at your partner is a bad bad bad idea” followed by “Do what ya gotta, man, just hit me really hard.” Oh, and there are minor children in the house while this sh*t’s going down, just to make it even more like real life, and our heroes must deal with the domestic consequences of Daddies fighting. I LOVE A CHALLENGE. After all, continuing to have interesting sex after kids *is* a continuing challenge in real life. People want carefree smut? they can look elsewhere; to me smut always has a cost. Who bears it depends on who’s being responsible, or not.

Not that anybody wants to know, but I’m really not into any of those behaviours in real life. Nagging at volume is sort of where I max out, ask any of my exes.

Continuing to have the poly life discussion with someone. It’s painful. Really painful. I feel like I have my nose up again a particularly interesting window. I can smell bread baking. But no. G*ddamned heteronormative uncommunicative bushwah (on their end, not mine.) But at the same time there’s NO F*CKING POINT to becoming an elder if you don’t understand that real life takes time, opportunities for growth don’t wait, and if you don’t consider who’s going to be impacted by your decisions, your years, your grey hairs and and your learning means squat. I am still 22 in some corner of my persona, for my enthusiasms still have all the joy of my youth; I just can’t write everyone affected by my behaviour out of the script any more. I do from time to time, but not all the time.

Fortunately, since I’m pushing 60 with a broom, I can contemplate my greed like the gorram caged bear that it is. Still here, but not running the show.

Katie is still having a rough time and she and Alex are both sick again.

I am not having a rough time. I feel pretty good, all things considered. I have another two weeks of full time work. If that changes, I’ll deal with it. I actually have a plan to deal with it that I think will make almost everyone happy, at least temporarily.

Rogue One is a fucking fantastic movie. Getting eaten by Disney was the best thing that ever happened to the franchise.

Now to check if my money transfer has come through.

the wonders of Qatar

A man has been arrested for entering Qatar with (and candidly, this is really hard to believe) in excess of 12 kilos of bacon packed in his ass. I’m not going to link to the site, but it shows a picture of the customs officials standing in front of the packaged bacon like it was a pile of seized cocaine. Also, it looks like 4 kilos of bacon to me, but what do I know.

He was selected for special inspection because he appeared ‘nervous and sweaty’. I am amazed he wasn’t ‘ruptured and lifeless’.

In other news the World Health Organization advises you to avoid any bacon which might make it onto the Qatari black market.