return of winky

N E W S
2005-05-22— Posted by: allegra

I’ll start with the best possible news: Winky, who has been seen twice on this blog, has returned to her home in East Vancouver. She was gone for about three or four days. Mike, the man who slaves to support her in the style to which she has become accustomed, was a VERY unhappy man when she disappeared, and so I yelped for joy when he held her up to the phone (purring loudly) upon her return. Keith and Kate were also very happy… Winky is a superior feline, very friendly and smart.

Last night Paul and Ana held their first wedding anniversary celebration on a chartered yacht in and around Stanley Park. It was an open bar! I’d be scared to do that with my friends, so I have to hand it to them. I have never actually heard Lilli Marlene done in polka tempo before. It absolutely peed sheets of rain, but it was plenty warm and congenial inside. Everything about the evening was perfect. Mind you, I kept thinking about how I’d do it differently, and I kept fixing Paul with a basilisk stare and saying things like You Know Our Twenty Fifth Anniversary is coming up. God, twenty-five years. Sounds, I don’t know, cosying up to decreptitude, dude. It was a lovely time anyway and a total class act, just like Paul and Ana. And all of their friends and relatives were complete sweethearts, including three kids (nieces and nephew to Paul) who live in Georgia (Kurtis 9, ? 7 and Faith 4). Faith made me laugh so hard I just about hurt myself. I had loaned her a pen so she could start to entertain herself. She laboriously wrote something out on her place-card and handed it to me to read. It was a very long assortment of consonants, with the letter U at the end. I owned as how I didn’t know what it said and asked her what it said and she widened her already enormous blue eyes and said, sweetly, “I can’t read.” Her sister and I killed ourselves laughing. I’m glad I spent some time talking to them, they were wonderful kids.

Cooked a big restaurant style breakfast this morning with the four of us. Very pleasant.

Hey Brooke, I dreamed about you last night. We were in an orbital station and you were trying to run along one wall and ‘fly a kite’ behind you. None of the rest of the dream involved lemming tarts, though.

walking panda

What the well dressed Venezuelan is wearing
2005-05-20— Posted by: allegra

http://world.guns.ru/assault/as05-e.htm

The Venezuelans will be the first outside of Russia to make this baby under license. They bought several hundred thousand at almost $400 US a pop. Liberty is ‘spensive, y’know? Boy did the Americans yowl about this. But they just don’t make a gun this good, this cheap.

Chiba Park’s bipedal panda
2005-05-20— Posted by: allegra

This is Futa the lesser panda. He can stand on his hind legs for ten seconds at a time. Did you ever see an animal that looked more like something out of an anime? He’s apparently a star at the Japanese zoo where he’s incarcerated. I thank Sploid for providing the link to the pic.

I have little to report but a very great deal of happiness about the long weekend. John is off to Victoria/Courtenay, and so I have to feed Pokey.

Don’t all thank me at once for not posting a link to Saddam Hussein in his underwear. Here, however, is a link to Bush in court http://billmon.org/archives/001864.html – and don’t forget to read the commentary, it’s amusing in a very partisan kinda way.

I hate to say it, but the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Digest I just read was a major guilty pleasure. I especially like the Mina Harker character, and the expression on Quatermain’s face as he peers up her bloomers (she’s on a ladder above him) made me spew tea. What I don’t understand is how they got away with the quite in your face racism of the piece. I couldn’t tell whether it was a matter of parody or what… it was sort of post parody. The best thing about it was the Picture of Dorian Gray Paint by Numbers kit. Inspired. And Pollyanna turns up, as a character in a very disgusting school for wayward girls. Arab and Chinese characters speak in Arab and Chinese, untranslated – for pages! Given how racist the depictions are, I am at a loss as to how I could possibly get the dialogue translated. Hauling it into work doesn’t seem like a good idea.

Writers Group on Wednesday was fantastic. I read that piece from my blog a while back about Monumental Angst.

Well, it’s time to get up and get out.

meeses

No more mooses
2005-05-18— Posted by: allegra

Dang, I’m fresh out of moose. Didja like that last moose picture? I hope my American readers enjoy it. The Gov of Canada is apparently changing all of its advertising regarding tourism. RCMP uniforms, mooses, igloos and Celine Dion are STRICTLY VERBOTEN/ INTERDIT/ FORBIDDEN/ Y’all keep out now…..

cute
2005-05-18— Posted by: allegra

This an orphan muskox. His name is Chance.

peeces of meeces

More meese
2005-05-17— Posted by: allegra

Athabaska Landing, 1898. Peachy Prouden hand raised two moose for his team. And thanks to the magic of the Alberta Archives, you can see them on my website. It’s amazing what you find when you ask Google for odd mooses.

Where are the moose?
2005-05-17— Posted by: allegra

It occurred to me that I have not posted any strange moose pictures in a while. This moose wandered around for a couple of days like this. I wish the Fish and Game people could remove MY spare tire with such ease….

enough sleep
2005-05-17— Posted by: allegra

Forgot to mention. Katie didn’t come home last night. In a panic, I called her at 5:15 and she was at Daxus’, of course. Fell asleep, she says. At least she had the sense to pick up the phone when I rang her and apologize for not calling. Yup, all in all, I have lots to be grumpy about, and I’m giving myself free rein… and I can’t even TALK about the stuff that’s making me grumpiest. Grr.

Looking for the Cat’s Eye Nebula
2005-05-17— Posted by: allegra

Mark Staves of Tupper Lake NY took this pic on May 10, 2005.

enough sleep
2005-05-17— Posted by: allegra

Astronomy Picture of the day today is quite nice… a panorama of Mars. Also the Titan pix are out… I didn’t like them as much. Mum told me last night that there are some cool aurora pix from the last Coronal Mass Ejection, but I don’t know where to find them so I’ll poke around for them later.

Later today I vote. Sigh.

I’m voting against STV. It’s not a substantial enough improvement over the current situation and it’s too subject to jiggery pokery after the election. Give me a paper ballot I can count, thanks! After watching stolen elections elsewhere in North America, I’ll take my chances with the sitch we have. Also, if nobody can explain it so that it makes sense to somebody with a high school education, I ain’t going there.

pie and totem poles

Pie and totem poles
2005-05-16— Posted by: allegra

I made two pies yesterday in preparation to go to Tom and Peggy’s. On sober consideration, I took the grown in my backyard rhubarb pie only, and left the rhubarb apple at home. Just as well… when I got there, custard and cake and whipped cream were on offer. Needless to say I was goshdarned near too full to sing for my supper afterwards. But I made a valiant attempt.

Paul bought a cell phone on Friday to replace the one which is dying, and he’s so annoyed with it that he’s thinking of taking it back. The phone he had (which is the same model as mine, an ancient Audiovox) was totally intuitive about everything and has a proper menu structure. This thing – sigh. Paul’s been messing with it for days and it’s like wrestling with a small, clever, shiny alligator. Now I am JUST DREADING replacing my phone, if this is the kind of thing that’s out there. (This is the same phone Katie carried for a year, so you can tell it was made the way mil-spec stuff is SUPPOSED to be made.) Mind you, all I will want is a low end phone, so maybe I will get both a deal and something that actually is understandable to somebody born before 1985.

And yes James, before you ask, we stuck with Telus, because we don’t want to lose our phone numbers.

Cruised by the discount theatre on the way back from picking Katie up last night, and saw that MONSTER-IN-LAW, KICKING AND SCREAMING, and HOUSE OF WAX were all playing. I shuddered so hard I nearly crashed into the Starbucks. It’s hard to think of a triple bill I’d less like to see.

It absolutely poured rain here for the best part of 24 hours; I’m very glad, as we needed it.

Parts of our lawn look very science fictiony. The moss killer is doing its thing, and we have a lot of moss; all the mossy bits are greeny black and smell weird.

We (the family, less John) went to the Museum of Anthropology yesterday. I wasn’t too interested in the totem poles; I was much more interested in the research section, which is irresistably reminiscent of the garage sale of a wealthy eccentric. It’s definitely worth the money. Next time I go will be on a Tuesday night when it’s free (5 til 9 pm). Katie fell in love with the mammoth yellow cedar Bill Reid sculpture of the raven sitting on the clamshell, so I bought her a little card of it. For me I got a soft cover about the edible plants of coastal BC, with all their uses by the local First Nations. The gift shop had a lower kitsch to beauty ratio of any ‘tourist trap’ I’ve ever seen with the exception of the Art Gallery of Vancouver. Must fly; it’s 6:51 and I haven’t negotiated with Paul whether I’m getting a ride in or not.

poems et cetera


RESONANCE                   April 7, 1990 23:55

candescent plasma overturned over
investment and reaving, no stasis
or balance or equi
                 librium
in sigh
       t
the properties of fluids, solids,
exhalations and inspirations, musing
and being 'mused' for a tricky
thought,
a perfect ream.  picture a woman
ankle deep in crumpled paper
every pencil gnawed down 
to a nubbin, knowing
and incapable of

chew the the's down. eliminate the a's
and hoe your own flesh for the enemy
adverb, the unnecessary

give entrance to the doorwarden, who
is locked out.  who is.  pat yourself down for keys
headshake and graphic shrug, the empty
pockets of the universal colloquial

I don't have them.  They went missing.

I lost them.  Someone (there's a thought)
has stolen them.

They are not necessary.  There is 
another ingress.  This way to the egress,
but I am already out.  

reagent of the crenellation.  

Fortress Idea.

My arquebus does not fit through the slot.

But do I have to?  I address you:

Come back.  I am the one who leaves.  Depart.
I have no choice but to stay.  I am stuck in this
<    >, this [        ], this horrific 
which can be anything but your presence,
saving your presence.  your candescence.

I was living in Toronto when I wrote this. At least I kept track of when.

 

Défi

It is a catalogue I speak of, love’s most
pressing substitute dismantled and contained.
Membrane, pelt and tendon form
a plain text read with sober mind
by a surgeon, translated in life to
sculpture and dance, ink and silken billows.

He arrives in cotton, sober as a butler
. hair shorn to show the bones .
appearance is useful and trivial by turns.

Words fail, misunderstandings riot in the cracks
I reach through them to the motion that swings
through his calves, through his back
appalling and perfect
withdraw amid caution and confusion
plunge forward.

It is this sensation I sought, somewhere
between the stifled laugh and the attunement
dwelling in his arms.

I will not cede to youth the rights
of desire and requital.

I find, among
uncounted pauses, during which I summon
from the steam and garlic of another meal
a kiss, perhaps the warmth retained by a coat
or smile’s imprint, all teeth and merriment
a buoyancy unlinked to the joke.

It is dormant adolescence I recite
oppressed but not effaced by setback
and denial. Lust is as strong
as the death occluded by these
moments, for which heaven’s a mere gloss.

To spare his feelings, I won’t name the person I wrote this for. He’s still ridiculously hot. And smart. And nice.

Frogs
2005-05-15— Posted by: allegra

I don’t normally buy clothes for John, but an XL black silk shirt covered in multicoloured frogs for 5 bucks? Perfect for cons, and packs like a dream? It’s verra nice. (2019 says – his future housemate Juliana ended up with it)

Paul and I are very clean at the moment. There’s something about being completely clean and just having changed the sheets that makes domesticity a beautiful thing.

Earlier we swept the driveway, did the edging on the walkways and policed up the cut branches so the back yard doesn’t look quite so ratty. The lawn guys have already started and Paul’s raked at least two cubic metres of moss up over the last couple of days.

Katie’s at her non BF’s.

Keith is reading the latest SIP. (That’s Strangers in Paradise, and Brooke, hate to tell you, but I am actually pointing you at your next addiction.)

Paul had such a good time last night that we are thinking of instituting a once-a-month version of the Friday Night Veg-in, which was an institution when I was growing up. Goodness knows there are a lot of really watchable movies out there.

buffy the pineapple pirate

buffy the pineapple pirate
2005-05-14— Posted by: allegra

So I laboriously cut up a pineapple and then HID it on myself so I couldn’t feed it to people. Sigh. I amaze myself sometimes. But the lemming tarts went over reasonably well. I had a very good time and I intend to do it again. Next time I think it will be the Cultural Treasure Trove. Margaret Cho, ha ha, Spike Jones, Tex Avery, Michael Moschen, Busby Berkeley and the Chorus girls vs the football players, Minds eye, and other stuff. Either that or one of those Big Thoughtful movies, like the Piano or maybe I’ll just break down and show another really entertaining mindless classic like What’s Up Doc or Willow. Thanks to Mike, much thanks, many thanks for the video set up, which worked perfectly.

disgusting
2005-05-14— Posted by: allegra

http://www.dailynorthwestern.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/05/09/427ef8630074e

Yah. I read all the way through this, and strangely enough, I was not surprised he was a sophomore by the time I got all the way through. I’m kinda sophomoronic myself.

At the risk of sounding very conventional in my tastes, Johnny Depp is one of the hottest men I’ve ever seen.

forgot to mention
2005-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Large shout out to Glen, may he live forever in song, story, fable and myth; to Paul go many honours (he brought me my third favourite kind of beer); Keith Kate my parents John, of course; Bonnie, Liz, Catherine, Tammy, Peggy, and Tori; and my all time favourite beer, St Ambroise Blonde by McAuslan Brewery. I cried the first time I drank this beer. God has blessed this country with this beer. My second favourite beer is Granville Island’s Lion Winter Ale – a seasonal not currently available. My third favourite beer, and I will go to hell for this, is Wildcat Strong. But when I consider this, I realize I don’t love Wildcat Strong more than I love my dad’s mum, Evelyn, the elf-like Evelyn, who is the linchpin of our family. I am 46 years old and I still have a granny, and she COOKED me LUNCH the second last time I went to visit and fed me home made cookies the last time I went. Nope, I don’t love beer more than my grandmother, and I somehow feel a lot happier realizing this. Fourth is Okanagan Springs Pale Ale, Granville Island Lager comes in next, then Guinness, then Black Bear, then this weird Alaskan Spruce Beer that I don’t remember the name of. Then Stella Artois, then Pilsner Urquell, then Paul’s homemade Doppelbock.

Let me take the whole list apart and put the Doppelbock in the top five. That was amazing beer Paul brewed. It was really really REALLY tasty and stronger than a marathoner’s insole.

I’m putting beer before most of my male friends, but being male they will understand.

Dave D is first among those I would hear praised. Leo, Ron, Elizabeth, Sue and Mrs. Dauphinee; all continue to pressure my character, mostly in good and benign ways. I would also hear praised Alan, Mike, Jerome, Brian C, Jim, Rob and Char, Sandy, Tish, Terry, Carol, Jo, Jim P, Jan G, Lois, Bob, Phyllis, Janet H, Will, Steph, Tom L, Tom U, Brooke, Lindsay; the lunch bunch, present tense; L.E., Doug, LJ, Rob W, and the stoned kid on the bus.

forgot to mention
2005-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Large shout out to Glen, may he live forever in song, story, fable and myth; to Paul go many honours (he brought me my third favourite kind of beer); Keith Kate my parents John, of course; Bonnie, Liz, Catherine, Tammy, Peggy, and Tori; and my all time favourite beer, St Ambroise Blonde by McAuslan Brewery. I cried the first time I drank this beer. God has blessed this country with this beer. My second favourite beer is Granville Island’s Lion Winter Ale – a seasonal not currently available. My third favourite beer, and I will go to hell for this, is Wildcat Strong. But when I consider this, I realize I don’t love Wildcat Strong more than I love my dad’s mum, Evelyn, the elf-like Evelyn, who is the linchpin of our family. I am 46 years old and I still have a granny, and she COOKED me LUNCH the second last time I went to visit and fed me home made cookies the last time I went. Nope, I don’t love beer more than my grandmother, and I somehow feel a lot happier realizing this. Fourth is Okanagan Springs Pale Ale, Granville Island Lager comes in next, then Guinness, then Black Bear, then this weird Alaskan Spruce Beer that I don’t remember the name of. Then Stella Artois, then Pilsner Urquell, then Paul’s homemade Doppelbock.

Let me take the whole list apart and put the Doppelbock in the top five. That was amazing beer Paul brewed. It was really really REALLY tasty and stronger than a marathoner’s insole.

I’m putting beer before most of my male friends, but being male they will understand.

Dave D is first among those I would hear praised. Leo, Ron, Elizabeth, Sue and Mrs. Dauphinee; all continue to pressure my character, mostly in good and benign ways. I would also hear praised Alan, Mike, Jerome, Brian C, Jim, Rob and Char, Sandy, Tish, Terry, Carol, Jo, Jim P, Jan G, Lois, Bob, Phyllis, Janet H, Will, Steph, Tom L, Tom U, Brooke, Lindsay; the lunch bunch, present tense; L.E., Doug, LJ, Rob W, and the stoned kid on the bus.

calamari
2005-05-14— Posted by: allegra

It’s the squid. (Sorry, it’s an in joke). Anyway, the folks who showed up, and it was only three people outside my fellow cellar dwellers, to them I say thank you. Made it more like a family evening, so all the people who stayed away, thanks to you too. You weren’t there and that worked out swell…. Here’s a poem from my early days with Paul…. before the kids came. I was hopeless about putting dates on things in those days.

Abundance


cantaloupes block the doors open
	there is an orange in the mirror

cherries lurk in the crisper
	bananas curl up on the fridge

pears loll on the dining room table
I found four peach pits in the sink
	leftover raspberries and cream on the counter

a chocolate fondue burbles in the bathroom

someone is making plans for the pomegranates
the pineapple is waist deep in apricots

I caught her eating blueberries in bed
	courageous woman, all her sheets are white
and summer is a stain of every colour

ahoy, there’s too much at stake
2005-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Keith got the projector running in colour again. I can go back to cleaning. Hey, wait a minute!!!!!!!!!

variously

OOOOWWWWW
2005-05-13— Posted by: allegra

Renting a replacement projector would cost $175 minimum… on the plus side, I have the car and I still love my spouse. Going off half cocked again….

Disturbing a what?
2005-05-13— Posted by: allegra

WAILUKU, Hawaii — The state has evicted a Maui woman from a lava tube she has lived in for the last three years. Karen Mayfield, 50, has pleaded innocent to three misdemeanor charges for illegal camping, disturbing a geological feature and littering. Her trial is scheduled to start May 31.

pOp, remember “Unauthorized use of public waters?”

This is all very Kafkaesque.

Buffy meets jeopardy
2005-05-13— Posted by: allegra

I am experiencing transports of fidgetiness, annoyance and the obscuring “death will not release me” miasma that accompanies the prospect of housework. I went and got the projector off Mike after we ate pho last night, and billy be damned if it was working fine at 9:30 pm and then ONLY projected in black and white when it was turned back on again after we had turned it off to shuffle things around. It isn’t the cabling; it’s in the projector itself, because the “I am here” screen comes up in vivid colour. However it will ONLY project in B&W which means that it’s a damned good thing I’ve got the afternoon off because I will be spending the entire afternoon getting another projector rather than cleaning the house. Oh darn. Then I find out that my beloved spouse, may the Lord bless and keep him, is flying this afternoon and leaving me carless to accomplish all this, oh, and he’ll be coming back late. (“What do you want from me? I hung the screen up for you…”)

In the face of the heat death of the universe, the collapse of civilization and the imminent arrival of “the Big One” which will shove most of Richmond under water, big loss, this is a trivial matter and I am sure that a peaceful solution will be found.

she was cute when she was young
2005-05-13— Posted by: allegra

Election coverage

thetyee.ca
2005-05-12— Posted by: allegra

Found some interesting political commentary on the BC election at the abovecited address, from my former church cohort Don Hauka, and of COURSE had to add to it. I think my best line out of my comment was that this was an election where ‘ignorance and apathy appear to have fallen asleep on each other some metres from the finish line.’ There was also a simply stunning thread on castrated sheep. Go to Election Central at the site and read the whole thing, it’s pretty funny, and the election coverage is the best I’ve found (although gosh, we’re close to the day now aren’t we? It’s less than a week away!).

According to one of my correspondents, in Qualicum, there was an all candidates’ meeting. Except, as per standard in this election, the Liberal didn’t show. No unscripted performances, please! So the Marijuana Party candidate fixed the optics of this situation by parking a bong (this is a, uh, water pipe for ‘legal smoking mixtures’) in front of the seat that otherwise would have been occupied by the Liberal. Without further comment, the meeting continued. I wish to God I’d been there, I’d have been taking pictures, when I wasn’t flailing around with hysterics.

vanity press
2005-05-12— Posted by: allegra

http://www.fontifier.com/

For $9 US you can make your handwriting into a font. I’m tempted.

tea from darjeeling

yum yum
2005-05-11— Posted by: allegra

http://www.ewg.org/reports/rocketlettuce/

enough sleep
2005-05-11— Posted by: allegra

Tom U brought me tea all the way from Darjeeling. I went on the internet because I couldn’t believe that the name of it was for real (tippy? Flowery?), and discovered that it was, no word of a lie, the BEST Darjeeling Orange Pekoe. Given Tom U’s perfectionism, which is, palimpsest-wise, a large part of what makes him both so annoying and so charming, I don’t suppose he’d hand carrying anything BUT the best back from India. I like the fluorescent orange label though.

The tea I haven’t actually drunk any of yet.

Pictured, and this pic is copyright Terry Moore and don’t you forget it, is Tambi the magnificent. She’s, uh, picking up a friend. Yeah, that’s right. For any Dunnett or Buffy fans reading this, picture a comic novel where the personalities, dialogue and situations are as heartstoppingly good, and then go there – Terry Moore’s Strangers in Paradise. I will loan the digests out if I have to, but the kids and John hate it when I let em out of the house. Only thing that I’ve seen that comes close is Art Spiegelman’s Maus, and that’s kind of a special case, being the best holocaust memorial ever. Okay, I’m prejudiced. But it’s damned good and I can’t recommend it enough, and I thank Alan the Microserf for exposing me to it – as I bless Mike M for upending me head first in SIP.

The ****ing computer has been occupying much of my personal buffer space of late; this morning it casually announced that it was making 17 Windows updates, which crashed halfway through when, alas, there was no more space on D drive. I scraped a bunch of mold, ah, files, off the drive and the updates merrily proceeded, but every five minutes it anxiously reminds me to restart my computer.

Katie visited the sick yesterday. Her buddy Maria was clobbered in a car accident – I believe I mentioned it back in February – and she’s long since out of the coma and in rehab now, still in hospital. She’s expected to make a good recovery.

Hope to see the Bordello Brothers at the Cottage on Thursday. Other folks may dislike the venue but the food rocks large.

doggo in space

dogs in space
2005-05-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.alejandro.ch/downloads/flyingfriend.wmv

I can’t claim the dog wasn’t hurt… but I read body language, and something tells me (like the presence of a fixed cockpit camera) that this wasn’t his ‘first time’. If you can’t find it here, google the file name. It’s definitely worth seeing.

store wars
2005-05-10— Posted by: allegra

As a general rule, I don’t send links to commercials. However, this one is quite amusing. Watch Cuke Skywalker… oh, just go there. http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html

Steven Spielberg is reputed to have wept at a screening of the last Star Wars movie. I wonder if the reported reason “I was so moved” is accurate. “Thank God it’s over” strikes me as potentially being more accurate.

Yes, master
2005-05-10— Posted by: allegra

Ah, my internets are running again, thanks to the tall and toned Keith. And Mike. And Jeff. I freaking need an army of tech supporters.

Pic is from the CBC website, it’s a picture of Gilles Duceppe and Stephen Harper. Is it just me, or does Stephen Manboobs Harper seem to have mucho mojo over Gilles Duceppe? Or are Gilles’ Duceppe’s eyes rolling back in his head because, in the haze of putrescine, he’s forgotten the English for “Your breath could knock a buzzard off a garbage truck?” Email your speculations to me.

Yesterday, Keith got his “Yes, you are a voter” card in the mail. There are now four registered voters in this household and you bet your ass we’re voting in the next election, however many of them our duly elected troughers are going to schedule.

I ate pan fried oysters for breakfast, and you didn’t.

One of my coworkers TICKLED me yesterday. I hadn’t been tickled in so long I just about catapulted outta my chair.

Another one of my coworkers whispered to me in a meeting yesterday, “Must… control… fist… of death!” To which my response was “Must … control…. girlish giggle” which under the circumstances was a lot more accurate. I didn’t want to pound anybody yesterday. I am filled with lovingkindness.

Okay, I’m not filled with lovingkindness, but I understand that it’s a great thing to be filled with, like lemon custard.

At the risk of being politically incorrect, I was reading an article in one of the major US dailies, online, and a popup screen said Skunk, Chronic, Schwag. Then it showed a picture of a chopped green substance. Looked sort of like fines herbes, fresh. With alfalfa sprouts mixed in. Then it said something about marijuana. And I felt sad for the children of the US; the antidrug people don’t even put pix of real drugs in the antidrug ads. So if kids see these ads, instead of being filled with the notion they should quit smokin dat chronic blunt yall, they will be thinking that adults are morons. And you know what? she asked rhetorically, thinking of nuclear leaks, 300 billion spent in Iraq, the junk bonding of GM and Ford, the environmental degradation, pine beetle infestations, the plummeting civility of Vancouver drivers, the price of gas, and the fact that I kicked my own flesh out of bed at an ungodly hour yesterday because my intertnet wasn’t running…. they’d be right. PS it was the router.

mothers day
2005-05-10— Posted by: allegra

John is claiming that he’s offended that I didn’t mention what I got for mother’s day. Okay, he BOUGHT ME LUNCH. And Katie too.

Rich people are Nazis?

New Clear Day
2005-05-09— Posted by: allegra

Pic is of Goliath, the 19.1 hands high Canadian born Percheron, who weighs in at 2500 pounds, stands 6 foot 5 at his withers, and has to spread his front legs apart like a giraffe to eat grass because his face is so far from the ground. He’s currently the world’s tallest horse, according to the Guiness Book of World Records.

In other news, how would you like to take a bath in this? http://www.guardian.co.uk/nuclear/article/0,2763,1479527,00.html?gusrc=rss

Why pick on him now?
2005-05-09— Posted by: allegra

Okay, this is something that blew over a long time ago, and Mother, you will forgive me in addressing most of these remarks to Liz, but does anybody remember Prince Harry wearing an armband? Pic shown hereabouts.

Anyway… quick Pause, Keith and Jeff just came back, and Keith announces that Sin City is a “bloodbath with rabies” which sounds to me like a terse recommendation never to cast my eyes over it.

Back to Armband Harry. Armband Harry is carrying the entire brutal weight of several global conflagrations on his back; he’s a living symbol of ‘the winning side’. But he’s also a kid. Part of being a kid is taking the drawers down on many cultural shibboleths.

Okay, maybe just in my family; but I always got the feeling that other kids also wanted to look at the crime, waste and anomie of the average adult’s life and express their feelings in a highly excretory way. In this case, he was thinking, as I frequently do, “What can I do to really frikkin offend everybody?” These days, of course, my ability to offend is so automatic and inbuilt that I scarcely need give it any thought. My very existence is an offence, at least the way my kids tell the story. But in Harry’s case, his sensibilities about being offensive are culturally conditioned. He knows from long experience that breaking out into

Hitler

Has only got one ball

Goering

Has two but they are small

Himmler

Has something sim’lar

But poor old Goeb bels

Has noeb bels at all

is a simply grand way of getting grandmama good and chuffed (or laughing delightedly… one never knew with HRH the Queen Mum.

There’s never been anything worse than Hitler. He’s the ne plus ultra of evil – at least if you’re a Brit. I suppose there are some who hold Thatcher in the same esteem, but she simply wasn’t as bloodthirsty, and she never got shot at as a member of a regular army, as Hitler certainly did; not that I’m trying to compare Thatcher and Hitler in terms of sheer physical courage.

Big change of subject….Katie, from the floor, “So the guy played by Elijah Wood reads the Bible all the time and eats hookers?”

Man, I want to see this movie less and less. I’m assuming the hookers were dead first. That’s always the problem when you don’t get all of the conversation.

So Liz, would you have considered this to be a piece of juvenile foolishness? Would you have considered this a classical example of “Real friends wouldn’t have let you get caught like that”, or is this just teenaged stoopidity? Does any sane person believe that he thinks Nazism is a grand notion? Is this not an obvious case of I don’t give a flying wallenda about your opinion? I’m drinking beer and having fun, and you can take your astigmatism and gastric distress elsewhere. Okay, I am going to get a lot of flack for this, but I support the right of Prince Harry to wear a Nazi armband. I think it was one of the most poignant, if pigheaded, defenses of free speech I’ve ever seen. I feel like I’ve been shown up as a wanker in a royally British way. You’d never catch me wearing a Nazi armband in public… mind you, I don’t have a bodyguard.

When Liz and I were much younger and a trifle more juvenile, we wrote stories. We made fun of people with German accents, saying in these stories that they handed out Nazi armbands as party favours. “Haf an armband! It’s on me!” So when Harry turned up in the papers sporting the symbol of horror and depravity…. I have to admit that my outrage all leaked away into my urge to grin. Bad bad girl. If I’d grown up Jewish in Berlin in the 30’s I’m sure I’d feel quite different.

happy exhaustion of the florists day

Happy Exhaustion of the Florists Day
2005-05-08— Posted by: allegra

so…. anyway…. My mother’s day consisted of finding out that Paul was going flying and not likely to be back much before 4 pm. If I’m lucky. I wanted an arbor for Mother’s Day. No car, no arbor.

We have broken down and decided to turn our lawn over to the professionals. When Nutrilawn phoned me back, they asked me how I could help them and I said, “It is possible that I have the single most disastrous lawn in East Burnaby,” at which point Paul said, mumbling in the background, “Who the hell are you talking to?”

Jeff is here but about to go out to see Sin City (the movie, I hasten to add) with Keith. The other Sin City was last night but I was at Lexi’s party, and frankly, that was a way better deal. That leaves me, John and Katie to go get dimsum (typed dimsun, which sounds like God installed a dimmer switch on that big ball of gas whose gravitas is so warm). Katie went out… if she’s not back in ten minutes we’re leaving without her, which means that nobody from my immediate family will be joining me for a mother’s day repast in a restaurant. This is so typical of my life these days that it hardly deserves comment, but I’ll give it one anyway…. WAH!.

Some of the herbs I planted in the front have come up but I don’t know what they are.

Katie came back so we’re going to walk over to Chong Lum Hin and suck back food.

cantankery

sundry and various
2005-05-07— Posted by: allegra

I woke this morning with a joke. That’s never happened to me before, and it was kind of startling. As I came to consciousness, I thought, “If there’s skullduggery, is there cantankery, and is there gin involved?” I immediately passed this on to Paul, who snorted.

Jeff is off at his buddy’s place, and will proceed from there as a member of the wedding party. Funny thing though, he left the gifts here so he must be coming back.

Paul and I had a simply lovely walk through the neighbourhood last night. I didn’t want to walk all the way down to Dinosaur Rock, so we strolled through the alleys and back ways of Burnaby between here and Robert Burnaby park, and were much rewarded because there were hardly any barking dogs (I like dogs, but not when they sound like their biting decision tree is flopping between my ankle and my throat) and every blossoming shrub is divine. There’s a purple wisteria down on 18th that covers a third of the front of the house; the trunk of it is six inches (15 cm) across at the base. I could smell it before I could see it, and stood there poleaxed, looking around wildly, trying to figure out where the heavenly scent was coming from. Then Paul said, (understatement) “I think this is it,” and even he could smell it (Paul has virally triggered anosmia, which I don’t recommend). Then we saw flowering shrubs with totally bizarre, flat, butterfly shaped, ice cream white flowers, have no idea what they were (no scent) and then in against a fence, a white wisteria, and we had a nice long chat with the woman who rescued it from the dumpster at a garden center. She had a fine, small, pale purple clematis that had self-started in the garage doorway, which she was very fond of as it was quite hardy. Then her rescued animal companion (detecting a trend about this woman), a rotund kitty with a white and tabby pattern reminiscent of Zeek!’s, came out and viewed us. Somebody was playing Bhangra drums live so we went to check where the sound was coming from and Paul admired the new Camaro parked out front, saying that it was a nice looking vehicle. The drums stopped just as we arrived in front of the building.

Pic is of wisteria, borrowed from the taleofgenji.org website.

Muppets bought by Disney
2005-05-07— Posted by: allegra

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,7-1599218_1,00.html

Now THIS is punchy entertainment news mixed with commentary. Hi YAH!

jeff is here

Jeff is here
2005-05-06— Posted by: allegra

I coulda watched something art-ay about Mongolian camels last night but NO Jeff said here, try Bubba Ho-tep. The plot, if one can so dignify it, is that a guy who thinks he’s Elvis (Bruce Campbell) and a guy who thinks he’s JFK (played by Ossie Davis) team up to destroy a mummy who’s sucking people’s souls through their hind ends. A penile growth, a ‘very large cock-a-roach’, and some truly hysterical dialogue feature prominently. There’s nothing in it scarier than the average Buffy episode and it’s really well acted, all things considered. Part of the charm of the movie is that the guy who thinks he’s Elvis actually IS Elvis, or so we are led to believe. The filmmakers even try to explain how a mummy ended up in West Texas in an old folks’ home. I won’t give away the ending.

Danny Schechter, News Dissector
2005-05-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.newsdissector.org/blog/

I frankly love this blog. I read it every day. I don’t always agree with what he says, but I don’t always agree with anybody, including myself, so that’s okay.

I love his blog for the following reasons:

1. He allows his critics air time, and he doesn’t truncate their comments or take them out of context.

2. He’s a human being, with a network of family, friends, and children, and that network is crucial to both his work and his worldview.

3. Despite everything, he doesn’t give up. Leading by example is hard, but he’s doing it.

4. Despite everything, he doesn’t lose either his sense of humor or his sense of outrage.

5. This is going to sound sort of fannish, but he was in the crowd, in Washington, watching Martin Luther King deliver the I have a Dream speech. He’s like a living breathing textbook not only about American civil rights (he was 17 or thereabouts when he became a civil rights activist) but of the reportage during Vietnam, Watergate, and every scandal and triumph since. He reported on the election in South Africa and still has very close ties there. For me, he represents everything solid, decent, progressive and thoughtful about America. And sometimes he says or reprints things that are so tragic, and so funny, on the same page, that you’re left gasping at the sheer effrontery of his emotional and logical reach.

Oh, and he’s finally writing about Peak Oil. I wondered when he’d get around to that.

Tex Avery
2005-05-06— Posted by: allegra

I am a big Tex Avery fan. Here’s one of his heroines.