Category: Humour

More rime

We had fog and low temperature again last night so the world is covered in a thin slick of ice. Careful on the way in to church this morning…

I will be at Myles of Beans on January 30 – Tuesday coming – to do some standup, believe it or else. Festivities commence at 7:30 pm. I am shuffling together my routine right now. Then next weekend I will deliver my homily about garbage at Beacon (link on blogroll). I’ve already fired off the information for the order of service to the service coordinator so at least that’s looked after. I am SUCH a traditionalist about hymns for my services; I guess it’s to compensate for wanting to play Spiritualized at top volume during the collection. I loved that cd and one of Katie’s friends stole it. Along with just about every other album in the house.

We fed Casey last night after she and Paul went for a walk on the Fraser Foreshore. I was supposed to go to Cindy’s housefilk but Tammy called and two hours went by before we came up for air. I call down the blessings of heaven upon my dear friend Tammy; she consistently listens well and gives good advice (not always easy advice, or welcome! might I hastily add). A good friend is not always an easy one…

Then we went to St. Paul’s Church to see the Vancouver Lesbian and Gay Choir perform their “Heat” concert, which was quite wonderful. They are a non-auditioned choir (can’t get much more inclusive than that) and frankly, they don’t care if you’re straight, either. If I thought I could stand commuting to the practice hall I’d think about non-auditioning; the material was broad enough (show tunes to pop music to madrigals) to be really fun, and it was great to hear “Steam Heat” and a non-hetero version of that old chestnut from Grease, “Summer Nights:. May I particularly commend the accompanist, Dan Lauterbach, who entirely rocks.

I wish I’d thought to bring a cushion. I was in agony for the last half of the concert; it was a relief to have to walk about six blocks back to the car. Also, I’m in prodrome for a migraine; light sensitivity, ptosis and nominal aphasia are the three main symptoms, along with the generalized feeling of dread which always turns out to be chemical as opposed to pointing at a real problem.

I’d better get back to work.

Smiling through the pain.

My right foot is almost entirely numb, even as my leg gets better.  And it wasn’t a charley horse; it was a torn muscle in my calf, as evidenced by a navy bruise the size of a tennis ball.  I’m walking much better, though…. I’ve been very slow and very gimpy.
Katie spent the night at Dax’ again. Rr.  Rrrr-rrrr.  Hrngh.

I constitute all the management that there is in my department today.  That’s a cheerful prospect before I go in; fortunately nothing nasty ever happens even when I blog in advance that it’s going to be fine.
Christine Lavin is at it again. I’ve seen her live, and she’s a truly remarkable entertainer.  This link by way of a bunch of Unitarian buddies, one of whom was dumped by a guy who…. well, let’s just say it’s lucky she didn’t spend years with him.  Six months was interesting enough.  Oh, Christine also did a version of it for men, so go to the main site and scroll about a third of the way down to get it.

John Hiatt and Ann Coulter

John Hiatt
2004-08-03— Posted by: allegra

Just cleared the front door from the John Hiatt concert at the Vogue. That was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. When he fired up Ethylene and Riding with the King and Gone and Thunderbird it was like watching a man high on joy do what he most wanted in the whole world. Tremendous audience rapport and respect. Opening was an interesting singer songwriter named John Dee Graham from Austin TX – which is an amazing city for music and the arts these days. He sang a song in Spanish and a bunch of self written ditties and a king hell version of You Gotta Walk that Lonesome Valley which sent chills down my spine. I would have posted a pic from John’s website but the cunning webmaster has fixed it so you can’t copy stuff from the site.

John Hiatt played Icy Blue Heart, making Lexi’s wish come true from Saturday night. He had no set list. He said I’m 52 I am too old for a set list. He also said there are only two things you need to know about God. He exists, and he isn’t you. In attendance me, Paul, Lexi, Rob, Jacquie, Unca Barry and Keith. Neville bailed; meshuggas with seating.

enough sleep
2004-08-03— Posted by: allegra

Well, Pride Day went off reasonably well. I got a nasty sunburn on my neck and lightly crisped around my Anglo edges (both of my grandfathers were born in Angleterre after all and pappy is a redhead). Being in the parade is very different from seeing it.

Katie is being difficult at the moment. This difficulty can’t be talked about because it would be disrespectful, doncha know. At least she’s been sober. I suppose I shouldn’t complain. Arranged another trek to Night Market next Friday. Am attempting to assembler ma merde in an effort to make another cloak, this time for me.

I am very worried about Ann Coulter. I think the poor woman isn’t well; I long to feed her peach pie and tell her it’s going to be okay even if George Bush doesn’t win the election. I’m also sad because she doesn’t like hairy women, and I’m hairy and I can’t do much about it because my husband likes me that way and I read in the Bible that women are to be subject to the rule of their husbands. So even if I made a peach pie for her, you know, the church lady thing, she probably wouldn’t eat it.

So what I want to know is when I run across a difference of opinion between Ann Coulter and the revealed word of the Lord, should I play safe and do it Ann’s way? I mean, she’s a lot closer than God appears to be at the moment. She’s been on Nightline and God’s never so much as returned Larry King’s calls. (Note to infrequent readers. I DON’T HAVE CABLE. I’VE NEVER SEEN NIGHTLINE. I DON’T WATCH NETWORK TV. EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THESE PEOPLE I LEARNED FROM THE INTERNET.) I must admit the image section of Ann Coulter’s website is one of the most unintentionally hilarious things I’ve ever seen, not that I’m encouraging you to look. You know every time I see her, I think of what my dear old pappy sometimes says when a good looking woman is brought to his attention; “She’s a nice enough looking girl but she looks underfed.” (Or words to that effect. The voice of tender concern for the health of the woman in question is what makes this opinion so remarkable – and you’ll have to forgive my father. He’s not very politically correct and does not understand the modern intricacies of the word girl, and how it can be used certain ways but not certain other ways).

Then I read Revelations and now I am exTREMEly worried, because I suspect that even if I do everything that I’m supposed to do to get into Heaven, or at least the Christian version of this idea, Heaven is going to be MUCH noisier than anticipated and while I have come across references to stopping up the ears I don’t see a specific reference to ear plugs in the revealed word of the Lord and I don’t think they’ll be issued once I get there, and I am still not sure whether I will have a physical or merely spiritual body; and thanks, I don’t WANT my gallbladder back if I am getting the other part of the “full” meal deal back, although I would groove on being 132 pounds again. WRT earplugs, I read Revelations and when it said and there was silence in heaven for the space of half an hour I thought (sacreligiously I own) it was about bloody time, with all the trumpets and clashing and lightning and people falling down. People fall down a LOT in Revelations, it got to the point I was suspecting that the spirit they were full of was overproof rum.

This next paragraph deleted, because I think I skidded off the pallet of discerning Biblical interpretation and I’m close to hell as it is. Believe me, it was funny.

I am in love with the Streets song Fit and You Know It. I’d be playing it right now but John hates it and he’s reading in the living room.