Very much enjoying hanging out there. The folks are funny as heck and the vibe of BLOCK FIRST ask no questions means that everybody prunes fash and sexist assholes who deadname trans folks and antivaxxers and instead of ELON firehosing shitbags into your feed, it’s just trans artists and wife guys and Bostonian grandmas vibing gently together. Some of the younger ones are ‘horny on main’ as they say but me okay wit dis, they’re not making lewd suggestions to me personally and they label their porn so I don’t have to see it, so it’s all perfectly fine. Also:

if you have a social platform that keeps sex workers off it while encouraging sex pests you do not have a social platform, you’ve got a censorship platform with a bias toward sex pests.

Suzanne will be here today

Jeff’s helping her with her taxes and they’re being jerks to her so she may be here a bit early. THEN THE ENSHINENENING!!!!!

Alex is in a phase of his haircut/dye job where he looks incredibly well groomed and that’s GOOD because it was picture day yesterday at school. I wait for him half a block from the school to avoid the worst of the jammed up part and I can see him all the way down the block and it just makes me happy.

I’m going to have the last of my pad thai for brekky. SO TASTY.

I HAVE LEARNED YOU CAN HANDWRITE A CHINESE CHARACTER INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE AND I’M THRILLED. This is how I could tell that the translation of something on a website was off!!!



ace-and-ranty (TUMBLR ACCOUNT)

Well, goodness, this one resonated much more than I was expecting. I mean, I get it. My mind was also blown wide open when I found out “demand avoidance” was a thing that existed, and that I’m not the only weirdo in the world who suddenly wishes it wasn’t her birthday after anxiously waiting for her birthday for days.

Loads of people in the tags are asking how I do it? I feel this won’t be groundbreaking advice, but here is what I have learned:

  1. Previous experience. Really no way around it. Now that I hit thirty, I feel like I have done enough things to know, intellectually, from experience, what will feel nice if I overcome the avoidance, and what won’t. For example, every time I go to the beach, I wake up early and would rather eat a tire than get off the bed. But I remember that every time I got up and went to the beach, I was glad I did it. So I just get up, feeling like shit, and get ready, feeling like shit, and I get to the beach and magic!! I feel great, I love the beach!! Sometimes you just gotta do it scared feeling kinda like shit.
  2. Am I avoiding the thing or getting to the thing? I have a lot of demand avoidance around just, y’know, getting up, getting ready and going out the door. Universal human experience. If I notice that doing the actual thing (Swim in the pool!) sounds nice, but I’m avoiding having to rally myself to go do that (Fetch swimsuit! Sunscreen! Towel!), then I know it’s demand avoidance and I should just fucking go.
  3. Is the thing making me feel excited at all or just anxious? I have had previous occasions when I did the opposite; I convinced myself it was just demand avoidance when I really just. Hated the thing. And wanted to stop. If you feel a mix of excitement and dread, or excitement and anxiety, that might be demand avoidance. But if thinking of doing the thing just makes you feel actively anxious, then yeah. You don’t want to do the thing.
  4. Do the thing a little bit. Used often with dishes. I’ve seen this advice float around Tumblr a lot and it’s correct. Commit to doing just a bit of the thing; a little bit of the thing; the smallest bit of the thing you can do. Getting started will make it clear right away if you don’t want to do it (and in that case, you have permission to stop), or if you just having trouble getting started.

I’m begging you

Mother Dear Mother

I cannot find the slender black binder which contains the ‘Tales of Grampa”. Please either send it to me in printed or electronic form, or acknowledge that everyone else involved but Grampa is dead now and publish it for the world to see, because Tales of Grampa is one of the best things our family ever wrote.

Alex is the right age now, I NEED THAT BOOK.

Okay technically it’s not required for my physical survival but gloryoski I shore would plumb like that.

Spent a LONG time at Lougheed Mall yesterday with Keith as he acquired a new phone. If -and this is a big if – I need a cell phone I’ll go to Walmart for the flip phone and go to the Bell kiosk for the sim card and activation. Keith also acquired a shower curtain and some other items for his dad and I fed him at Cazba. Lovely food but takes forever. I spent so much time waiting for him that I put together a 125 item generalized list. I also picked up a beautiful new pen – Oomomo has wonderful Japanese pens – and some mini whiteboards with markers – and a pack of Pocky. Managed to stay away from Cobs Bread and the Purdy’s Chocolate. The mall keeps changing stores and it can be quite disorienting.

Keith desperately needs to get some work done on his car, it’s not starting very well. Honestly thought we might be ‘stranded’ (it’s one bus ride home, la).

Had an unbelievably frustrating conversation with him about creativity. He spends all his time worrying about not writing instead of digging in to understanding his creative process and finding tools to support it. I mean, I only found Scrivener a decade ago and before that I didn’t have an app which supports my creative writing the way I need it done. He’s always so infuriatingly vague when he talks about anything personal so after five minutes of flailing, I shut up, assuming he was finding my ‘solutionizing’ patronizing and demoralizing and candidly useless. You know, like the ‘just cheer up’ advice you get from someone who doesn’t understand depression and anxiety and finds your gloominess rude, antisocial and disrespectful.

I checked someone’s name on line after they advertised their cleaning and organizing services on Next Door and they are…. let’s just say whoever the hell she really is, someone with her exact and unusual name has a set of resumes on line which…. er …. don’t line up. They can’t all be right, but they for sure can all be wrong…. so I’m just going to skip over that part where I pay for her advice.

The red canoe is gone out of the back yard, thank you Jeff for making that possible.

I’ve gotten wordle in three tries three days running, I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. There’s been a run of words with ‘B’ in them though, I don’t think that’s unrelated.

Ah, that coffee. Milk and sugar. So good.

And in spite of it, do you know what my bp was this am? 117 over 79. That is absolutely perfect blood pressure and that’s 1.5 hours before my meds so you can understand why I feel a bit weird for an hour after I take them. (But it doesn’t stop me from doing things, I just take it easy.)

I owe Dave a phone call, hopefully it will migrate from my list to reality sometime today.

Zibethicus changed the logo on twitter. Long time nesters there are saying things like ‘EVERYTIME I SEE THAT X INSTEAD OF THE BLUE BIRD IT REMINDS ME TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE’ Yes Elon, you dun fuct up

I’ve written 773 words over the last two days on TB.

I really wish my energy level wasn’t so variable; but that I guess is the single biggest reason I can’t work full time any more. Plus I’m actually listening to my body and peeing at first recognition that my bladder is full rather than waiting until explosive decompression is imminent.

My pOp said something HILARIOUS to me on the phone yesterday, so I am saluting him this morning WITHOUT repeating what was said. Thank you kind sir, I have been chuckling occasionally ever since. He’ll read this and think, “What is she going on about?” and that too is part of the humour.

I miss Ryker, I need to see that boy.


Errands complete

The following is from ivie-online on tumblr and explains some of the enshittification of the contemporary internet



– so between 2014-2016 facebook launches a massive ‘pivot to video’ campaign to draw media orgs to their video-based features. zuckerberg’s doing rounds, saying that in the near future, newsfeeds will mostly be video, and that video is the future of media. to back this up, they release tons of wild viewership metrics for ads on facebook, enticing advertisers to prioritize video, and as a result, the media that relies upon advertisers for funding began to do the same.

– this had an industry-wide impact, and media orgs, from established news, to humor websites, to smaller creators, fire writers and those primarily focused on print, and direct resources to their video creation efforts.

around 2016, it’s revealed that facebook completely fabricated their original numbers, likely inflating them between 150-900%. additionally, their viewership metric considered 3 seconds of a person watching to be a ‘view’ (whereas youtube had a 30 second requirement for the same metric).

-Having totally restructured in order to pivot to facebook video, many media orgs were unable to recapture hard won (and sometimes decades old) audiences. College Humor, Funny or Die, MTV News, Vice, Mic, and Vox were among those that were seriously impacted.

– after a 2018 class action lawsuit, facebook (who maintain that the whole ordeal was caused by a simple error in calculation) was made to pay 40 million in damages, which 1, is a paltry sum when we consider the 22 billion they made in profit that same year, and 2, does nothing to bring back the jobs, audiences, and media orgs they destroyed. to make matters worse, many still posit that it was never the public, but rather advertisers that preferred video over text, meaning that facebook intentionally deceived everyone involved specifically to secure more advertising dollars. so yeah, fb is evil and… probably should be stopped

stuff I said on twitter


Cops don’t love the unhoused, but they sure do love how much rich people will agitate for more money and equipment for cops when there’s lots of displaced humans. More homeless more money.



zibethicus is all like the world’s shittiest bf, always giving you things you don’t want and whining when you don’t say thank you with the appropriate amount of genuflection, taking away things you truly need, mocking you to his friends and laughing when he gets caught cheating.

roundup of non-news

Jim’s death has been publicly announced.

I have errands I simply must run today and no desire to leave the house.

Ordered Chinese food, not too much. It was quite tasty and I’m looking forward to having it for breakfast.

Brittney Griner has been freed from Russian imprisonment in an unknown location via prisoner swap for Viktor Bout, an arms dealer of very poor reputation.  Nothing about this prisoner swap is normal and candidly if someone told me that Russia would get such a high value prisoner (who will probably resume his killing ways) back I’d not have believed it. Terrell Jermaine Starr says this:

The lesson we need to take from Brittney Griner’s imprisonment and release is that the WNBA’s low pay puts their players at risk of being used for political gain by rogue states. Poor WNBA pay created a national security issue that didn’t need to be.

Watched a couple of football games yesterday. There were some really hard hits and even with the new concussion protocols I fear for the beans of the players.

No writing, not even a smidge. I feel upended and emptied and brain broken.

And yet I guess I had a good year on Reddit:

Graphic of a reddit snoo showing "You're in the top 1% of karma earners this year.

This just means I spent a lot of time on reddit, trying to be helpful, mostly to people younger than me.

Here’s my avatar but you can’t have my user name on reddit because it’s the one place on the internet I’m a real fucking asshole sometimes. (I got kicked off AITA for exactly that reason.)


can’t tell the difference

Elon Musk cannot tell the difference between bots and new users.

He believes he’s driving growth, instead Romanian bot farms are chugging along hard. User numbers are up? Must be his free speechification of the site.

I felt so good this morning and my mood has crashed again. Hard.

Shown below is the Rosette Nebula, credit the Hubble I do believe

Rosette Nebula, which looks like a human skull

Locked out

I posted on twitter about Elon Musk and the CPC and my account’s locked. I can’t get back in because I don’t have a cell phone any more for 2 step authentication.

I’m almost happy about this. It’s proof that everything about the app is corrupt. Jeff thinks they’ll recheck and then I’ll get my account back, but I don’t care if I do.

I will miss my friends.

Steve Bannon only got 4 months. OH YEAH…. I’M AN ABOLITIONIST.

I said it on twitter

As my dear old Onty Mary says, “I’ll quit wearing a mask and self-isolating when they quit trying to kill me.” Closest I’ve been to her in three years was 3 m and we were both masked.

This in response to a friend IRL commenting on the events she is not participating in because of the cavalier attitude of the organizers towards masks.

Now I know Mary never said those exact words, but the sense is correct.

Eggs over easy on sourdough muffins for brekky. NOM


many thoughts one result

Jeff is getting me breakfast today.

Yesterday I was not having a good day (mega understatement) and Katie swooped in, baby in tow (Alex was with his pop, who had a workplace injury (he is luckiernshit that he didn’t slice a tendon in his hand and it was his day anyway.) Suzanne came in her own car. Katie researched and located a breakfast/all day joint in Maple Ridge called Big Feast Bistro which serves gluten free. (Suzanne is celiac, which now means all her descendants have to be tested for it too.) She got the maple bacon french toast (gluten free) and Katie got the same thing non gluten free. I got the poached eggs on pulled pork and roasted yam hash (MUCH LOUD PRAISING OF GOD) and Ryker pulled his wonderbaby routine on ANYONE WHO WOULD MAKE EYE CONTACT. We were right next to the bathroom (Jeff knows what I’m like when the caffeine hits, although I was smart and just got tea) and the music wasn’t too loud and it was just wonderful.

THEN we went to Whonnock Beach which is absolutely beautiful and given that it was the Thursday before the LHW you’d think it would be jammed. WELL IT WASN’T. There were MAYBE thirty other families there. Nobody was yelling. It was almost beyond belief in how mellow it is. Babby crawled through sand, used his grandmas (genetically Suzanne isn’t but YOU TRY CONVINCING THEM of that) for furniture, fought his teething pain and sleep with equal facility and was in general our beautiful brown-eyed boy. (who stands two inches taller than babies the same age, he will be MONSTROUS Katie is literally saving money to feed him when he’s a teenager given how he eats now with a terrifying, catholic enthusiasm.) Halfway through an icecream truck with gluten free treats showed up. Shoulda seen Suzanne (her hair is pink right now, and god did she get ROASTED by her brotherinlaw at the property a few weeks back when she was the ONLY one of us getting harassed by wasps) book it to the ice cream truck and come back triumphant with her gluten free mango ice lolly.


Then I came home, ate the last of the meatball sub Jeff got me day before yesterday, watched a bunch of TV including the latest Shetland, and found out that there’s a prequel series to Mystery Road available and watched the first one of that. It’s beautifully shot.

Still can’t get the alien from ‘Nope’ out of my mind. It’s a shape changer and some of its morphs are crazy beautiful. Also scary af.

I am in a much better mood but when I consider how much work I have to do to get my goods whittled down to a single room in size…. I clench.

Made a snarky remark on a post on Twitter day before yesterday. The s/o of the person I critiqued presented an extremely well reasoned request to kill that remark, so I did. Social media is not making me a better person except perhaps by accident.

Took the RAADS self test – 75 score. Test is at the bottom, here, but read the blurbs first. For autistics by autistics.


The ‘many thoughts one result’ = blank stare.


Does the dog die

  1. that is the name of a website. People are sensitive about animal loss. I told a bunch of people on reddit that the dog DOESN’T die in the new Predator series movie, “Prey” and my inbox this morning is full of thanks and praise for saying so.
  2. Time to brush my teeth and have a shower.
  3. Burnaby is going to have a festival of glowing pumpkins, 6000 of the hand carved suckers. Once we hit August it’s all Halloween all the time around here.
  4. Somebody must have put one of my stories on a list; one particular fanfic is getting all the attention these days. It’s an okay story, it’s got pacing issues.
  5. Still no joy on Part II of current story. Some extension of a fanfic.
  6. We’ve now blown through 1000 cases of MPX in Canada. It was 957 on the 5th August, what do you think?
  7. Can’t raise Mike, his phone doesn’t seem to be working.
  8. Lovely walk with Jeff in the morning, it wasn’t TOO hot. Actually walked up the hill with some speed instead of puffing and blowing and pausing the entire way.
  9. Hexavalent chromium spill into the Huron River, which would impact the drinking water of millions of people, is getting zero airplay / pixels / print space in the media. Hexavalent chromium, necessary (they say) for many industrial processes, is the single most toxic form of chromium. Staring at my Toronto friends hey you might want to move before it’s in the drinking water of Toronto in Lake Ontario.
  10. Made Jeff peppermint tea and smoked salmon green salad wrap for brekkie.
  11. The Russians have mined the Ukrainian nuclear plant they took over a couple of months back. It is apparently their intention to destroy it.
  12. I have Reddit Cute Animal disease, every time I see a video of a cute critter on Reddit I want to run out and buy it. Today’s heart-eyes – hognosed snake.
  13. Did not practice yesterday, but at least all the instruments are in the same room again.
  14. “Reddit Double Shot” – THERAPY and BREAKUPS all ’round. (AITA posts only)
  15. I got the wordle in three tries this morning. However I used a solve site on line to help me once I got to word two.
  16. That doesn’t always work, depends on how common the consonants are.
  17. I am thinking of the time I did the Grouse Grind. It took me 2.5 hours and a single human being lapped me three times; he was wearing nothing but pale metallic blue booty shorts and athletic shoes and carrying a water bottle.
  18. Doug Ford is still an asshole who took four billion dollars from the Feds to fight the pandemic and as far as anyone can tell is obscuring where it’s being spent as fast as his bean counters can hide it.
  19. I have had a poem written for me?!!! Colour me blushy.
  20. And now I shall cease with my morning raving, knowing that my fOlks don’t have internet right now so there’s no point getting this posted before six.
  21. reconnecting with an ex on social media (facebook, I believe I mentioned that I left instagram and climbed back up on facebook) is always fraught with hazard (he was my first bf from around the time the planet cooled) but so far all we’re doing is sighing heavily over what a fucking idiot Roger Waters (OF PINK FLOYD) (he’s FUCKING CAPING FOR THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA SAYING TAIWAN BE OWNED BY THEM WHICH IS A BIG SURPRISE TO THE PEOPLE WHO FUCKING LIVE THERE) is, and posting youtube memories of songs gone by. Weird to see him all old and bearded though.
  22. and as a visual codaImage

Taiwan’s little EU problem and other things

  1. So the EU ambassador to China, a Spaniard, has announced that the Spanish government’s position on Taiwan (peaceful reunification for 1 China) is actually the EU position. It’s not. Horror across the internet this morning at this blatant contradiction of the majority stakeholder view across the EU.
  2. I’m so itchy I’m having trouble sleeping. My tear ducts seem to be blocked up too, and my eyes are sticking shut.
  3. Started working on Part II – 73 words so far.
  4. Three shootings in Toronto last night, one dead, two gravely injured, shooter or shooters still at large.
  5. Words cannot describe how much I’m hoping – and I’m an abolitionist – that Steve Bannon goes to jail in the same country where someone said that the economy would fall apart if jails didn’t contain almost free labour.
  6. Putin says Russia’s high tech sector is facing ‘colossal’ problems due to sanctions.
  7. They’re emptying the jails and putting the dregs of Russian society at the front, according to sources inside Russia.
  8. 110 degrees F in Fort Worth TX today that’s 43 degrees C. The grid in TX is teetering thanks to Repulsigan policies and chronic underspending by ERCOT on maintenance. Bad things are going to happen, it’s like sunshine and gravity.
  9. Wonderful Nova program about the JWST and the first pictures. I knew it was a hellaciously complex and overbudget project, but just HOW complex and HOW overbudget was kind of heartstopping, so thank science it worked. Ain’t nobody going to fix it if it quits.
  10. CBC is reporting lightheartedly that repeated COVID infections will be the norm and don’t pose a problem and this is directly counter to every reputable clinician and epidemiologist that I follow stating loudly and clearly that every repeat infection raises the spectre of disability from Long Covid. Fuck them for saying that.
  11. With Jeff’s kind assistance, I have taken Otto to the krankenhaus. I will receive word on Thursday.
  12. Keith reports that Jim is doing much better.
  13. I have finally seen “The Trouble With Harry”. Damn but John Forsythe was hotter than August in his prime, and what a freaking voice.
  14. 40 degree C weather in Britain. Monuments and bridges are at risk of cracking, damage and failure. Brits don’t take heat seriously so the betting is it will be super hard on the disabled and elderly. Australians and Americans on twitter are trying to help with inexpensive advice. From today’s twitter: In more “country totally prepared for hot weather” news: Blackpool Victoria Hospital (note, in the UK) has propped its doors open to keep the building cool, but now the hospital is full of seagulls  AND HERE’S ANOTHER ONE “SKY NEWS REPORTER, CITING MILITARY SOURCE: UK ROYAL AIR FORCE HAS HALTED FLIGHTS IN AND OUT OF ITS LARGEST AIR BASE IN THE UK BECAUSE THE “RUNWAY HAS MELTED” IN THE HOT WEATHER and ANOTHER:

    UK airport suspends all flights as heatwave melts runway tarmac

    A spokesperson for Luton Airport said: “Following today’s high temperatures, a surface defect was identified on the runway.”

  15. My dad does not like seagulls. Not in his aircraft engines and definitely not in his hospitals. NO WORD ON HOW HE FEELS ABOUT MELTY TARMAC
  16. The ERs at Dr. Helmcken Memorial Hospital in Clearwater and South Okanagan General Hospital in Oliver are on diversion due to staff shortages.
  17. let’s talk about everything that’s wrong with this article. First off, fuck that family for booking a Disney cruise in Alaska during a pandemic. Second, Air Canada SAID it was going to be cancelling flights left and right at the end of June. Did they not get the memo? What did they think was going to happen. THIRD their daughter HAD COVID BEFORE THEY STARTED TRAVELLING or she wouldn’t have popped symptoms on the fourth day…..they would have ended up on a boat with a sick child anyway. How the fuck is that a vacation? fourth they got treated terribly by Air Canada and had to sleep in airports and it’s like HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO THE NEWS? EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM CITED IN THIS ARTICLE has been part of the nightly news since the travel season started. There’s NO ROOM in the current Air Canada schedule for aircraft going mechanical.
  18. Maybe Roger Waters of Pink Floyd is a more important figure and musician than the Weeknd and Drake but why the fuck would he say so in public? I’ll tell you why!! HE DIDN’T GET REVIEWED IN THE MAJOR PAPERS! Oh, you poor poor man.  that’s get off my lawn style crankiness and RACISM. PS I hold no brief for either of them and Drake’s a creepy asshole who macks on minors and makes for great memes but HE’S A HOMETOWN CHILD IN TORONTO so of course it was a big deal. Not understanding the local politics doesn’t make you a likeable figure dude.
  19. Time to back up your computers, earth’s about to get smacked hard by a coronal mass ejection.  Radio and GPS disruption expected, low latitudes aurorae, first thing tomorrow. Chances of being an x event is 10% but we’ll get something for sure….
  20. WHO confirms a Marburg outbreak in Ghana.
  21. Zelenskyy remains pissed at Trudeau, line forms on the left pal.
  22. July 2022 heat dome temperature gradient europa
  23. Above is the atmospheric ‘ pot lid’ on Europa.
  24. NASA’s ‘climate spiral’ video.
  25. SO ITCHY