Paul must be in the States again, I haven’t heard from him in a week. LATER – PAUL CALLED THIS AM, HE’S BACK.

There are two Disneys: a monster and a storyteller. There’s a monster of megatons of plastic garbage, not paying writers, harassing employees, gleeful racism, social control. The storyteller is a thieving panderer with catchy tunes. We forget the former to smile at the latter.

(the foregoing is my response to a tweet about ‘disney adults’.)

Breakfast was egg salad over regular salad with lashings of tea.

It’s raining AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN. All the dogwood flowers are turning brown so the beautiful shining elven tree now looks like dogs been crapping on it.

My mood is…. not great. But I’m writing and I’m safe and comfy at home, so I will do my absolute best not to make my mood someone else’s problem.

Buster trained hard this morning; I think I’m teaching him to give kisses but we’ll see. Maybe I’m just teaching him to transfer zoonotic illnesses.


gorgeous day

I suppose what I should have been doing was mowing the lawn, but if it’s not raining today that’s what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll put my two loads of laundry away LOL PROBS NO.

Tested negative for COVID again.

Putin didn’t mention victory in his victory speech. Nor did he mention nukes. Soft good traitor tyrant.

12623, I think the writing drain is unclogged and I should be able to go. It’s hard to match the 4000 word day I had earlier on this story, sigh, but at least I have all the protagonists herded into one place psychologically for their life changing phone call.

Katie called first thing yesterday and PULLED ME OUT OF THE BATHROOM and then we howled laughing, thinking ‘MY TODDLER NEVER LETS ME POO IN PEACE’ and how that just never changes because THEN WE PHONED OUR MoM and got her away from her exercises so she’s PUFF PUFF PUFF it’s so PUFF PUFF PUFF lovely to hear your – PUFF PUFF oh that’s better – voices.  Katie and I also breathed sad and mad at each other about RvW because what the fuck can you do.

I didn’t hear from Keith but I heard he was playing with Ryker when I Katie called and that was good enough for me. Later in the day, Tammy, bless her, called, and we had a good long chinwag. Trying to time the market is a hard and always potentially expensive game. Paul and I got lucky, is all. Toronto is not a good market right now.

I got amazing feedback about my ‘activism’ from back when I actually was an activist and not just a keyboard warrior yesterday and it was lovely. I’m not going to repost it but to remind myself in future, 1100 reddit karma points for my welcoming congregation post was COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED and I cried at some of the comments. REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT and in this case it was an asexual saying ‘thanks for making me feel seen’ and that was a moment that made me feel THIS IS WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE.

So now I suppose I need to be more of an activist. I’m doing what I can given that I never leave my rental. LOL.

I miss my filking buddies. This is the ‘other’ Jeffrey in my life, lol, and what a lovely man he is, married to an even lovelier person, Jeri Lynn (well she makes homemade raspberry soft candies that taste like a trip to the Hesperides so of course I like her better.) Jeffrey gave me his dulcimer capo, can you believe it? what a guy.


Camping trip!

Mike and I are going to go car camping next weekend, if all lines up (we’ll be self-testing before we go). So looking forward to it!!!

No progress on the writing. Very much enjoying the Burn Notice rewatch; Gabrielle Anwar is quite something as the volcanic Fiona Glenanne. And of course Bruce Campbell is just wonderful. I am now pronouncing the character of Michael Westen asexual – if one does, many of the things he does make a lot more sense.


creeping progress

12409 words (creeeeeeping)

Had an absolutely lovely and heartening phone convo with Sue, my friend from church. She has an ongoing part in a TV show here in town! which we had thought about watching but now we’re rethinking it. At least I am. An IMDb listing, good golly y’all. I’m sure she’s fantastic. Also the entire series is CRAWLING with Stargate series alumni, I was snorting at the cast list, Paul McGillion makes an appearance.

We spoke of many things. Renee Spakowski passed. She was a truly amazing person and a really good organizer. I knew about Jean Donaldson passing away. Other people from church have died, and I haven’t been making phone calls because I’ve been very wrapped up in myself.

I told her about my spot in Guest 23 magazine (thanks to Dave, being the editor lol) and she was very kind about the poem I read at Tom’s memorial service. She said that in the first few lines the congregation knew where they were and what was happening and I said all I wanted to do was write something honest that other people could relate to and she said I succeeded. That was good.

And we talked about R v W and we talked about the state of the world and we talked about what happens when you have to end a friendship and so I talked about the friendship that I had to end and how years and years later I’m still so SORE about it, because it’s a personal failure, or so I feel. But one sets boundaries and tries to live accordingly, and it’s damned hard.

and she asked me about Ryker the wonderbaby

Allegra and Ryker aged 4 months

I send morning greetings, hope you are all doing well today!

Suzanne was here

12386 words

Suzanne was falsely arrested this past week but released (it’s her story to tell but I nearly died of fright as she was recounting it AND FUCK THE POLICE MOST SPECIFICALLY THE RCMP) and one of her ex boyfriends passed away living rough (grandson Alex’s dad told her, otherwise she wouldn’t know, and they’re going to the memorial tomorrow) and I’ve never felt my privilege so hard. I want nothing but good for her and life is not providing it.

At least the fucking cops didn’t confiscate the gummies I gave her because they were excise stamped.

Tiny bit of writing last night, still balking at the convo. Maybe I should just write something bad and get it out of the way.




May the fourth be with you

May the eighth is more important though. That’s when there’s supposed to be a Mother’s Day Strike in the US for abortion rights.

I am still extremely upset and weighted down about Roe v Wade. Abortion rights are under attack in Canada too. Until just a few years ago there were no abortion providers in PEI, and in NB you have to drive TWO HOURS FROM THE CAPITAL OF THE PROVINCE to get care.

Don’t be fooled. They’re coming for us.

Moose video with dog

One load of laundry, ran the dishes, returned a library book. 12167 words. Talked to mOm on the phone.

Sadface that one of the few pieces of agricultural land in Burnaby will now be under the developer’s plow. Hop On Farms is closing after 40 years. I don’t know how many times we drove by that place, and how unreasonable is it that I wish the world would stop cutting my children’s childhood down…. anyway. It’s a stupid feeling, but I assert it anyway.

Buster’s stitches are itchy and he’s very affectionate this morning. Jeff has to get antibiotics and whatnot into him, I don’t envy him the task, and of course while he’s healing he’s supposed to stay indoors.

Did anybody actually look up the name of the species of alien I was shown eating yesterday? It translates as “Weird Surprise!” Now you know.

Walk at Fraser Foreshore

Paul and I walked again today. The heron couple was doing their thing and the eagles are sitting babies and screaming from their nests. The tide was way, way out and someone upwind was manuring a field, but otherwise it was gorgeous, and quite warm.

Started some laundry.

Buster has been to the vet to get stitches. He is now dopey and disinclined to move.

I dropped off my library book. I read six paragraphs and realized it was for smarter people than me.

I read “Résistant quoi” to Paul. He enjoyed the rather rough humour in it.

Spoke to Keith. He’s coughing lots and afflicted with brain fog.

Me, eating the viscera of a Cerritulus mirum (a non sentient alien species) in the company cafeteria in days of yore. Photo credit Dave Deroy.

lovely brief walk

Paul and I sat in the park down the hill and blossoms fell on us. The dogwood tree looks, in full bloom, like something from a Tolkien film. We came back and drank tea on the deck.

Buster’s wounds are healing well.

12066 words, mostly revision. I’ve done a stem to stern adjustment and tightening of the story so far, and it’s stalled a little bit because I am pantsing and there’s three ways I can go.

Survey Sunday:

If you had a choice between living your life again and going back in time and killing Hitler in 1933 which would it be?

ulcer post op – family story

sometime in 97 or 98 this happened… Paul got an ulcer

I found him passed out in the john after a bleed. Shit happened pretty fast after that.

The post op nurse at RCH got my attention after Paul was out of surgery. “This is not the day to have a talk about your relationship! Do not sign any papers, make any large purchases, make any emotional demands and DO NOT let him drive. He appears rational. He is not.”

He FLOATED over the bedside rails, (I know that sounds ludicrous, but I ain’t lyin’) came gently to earth and bounced/floated over to the post op nurse, speaking continuously and in an almost scarily cheerful voice about what a great experience getting his blown ulcer mended was. ‘They sprayed something down my throat and I didn’t feel a thing.’ I looked at the nurse. She nodded, to agree with my mental email to the effect that he wasn’t feeling a fucking thing now, either.

I went to get his post op meds in the same mall as our doc Peggy was (at the time) and after I told him to stay in the car (Stay in the car for Chrissakes I’ll get it, but NOPE) he floated over to the office counter, yelled for the doc to come out and fulsomely thanked her for the surgeon recommendation. He was all but hanging on her neck and crying. I bet Peggy doesn’t even remember that, not that she’s obliged to, but damn it was funny afterwards. (At the time, thanks to my autism, I was suffering TORTURES OF PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT)

I told him I was going to tie him to the bed to prevent him from floating away but as soon as he got his shoes off and sat down, he said, “I should probably lie down,” and HUT he was unconscious for another six hours – which was a relief, I was scared he was going to get on the phone and start telling randos that he loved them.

If you show your true personality in those circumstances, I guess Paul’s a sweetheart. It really was one of the most adorable things he ever did.



Jeff is fine, but it wasn’t a fun extraction. Codeine is good to have if you need it.

12011 words. Things are about to take a turn.

I’ve done my brain exercises this morning. Strangely, I feel better when I do; less foggy, a little more awake.

In honour of Settler Saturday, please support Mari. That’s her paypal link. She is Ojibwe, disabled, the main breadwinner in her household, a writer of some note and @wordglass on twitter. TEETH SHOULD BE COVERED BY UNIVERSAL HEALTH INSURANCE and that concludes this post.