good news

I’m eligible for my second vax as of Monday


Paul has had his second jab! he did what he said he was going to do which was go to the vaccination centre at the end of the day and ask if they had any jabs left over. So he’s fully vaccinated!!! yay modern medicine.

What do you call feeling wiped out after your vaxx PFIZERS ON STUN lol


I made mac and cheese and Katie came by for a brief visit and I gave her some to take home. SHE ATE IT mOm SHE ATE IT.

Also she’s walking okay, and she took time off, and it’s just one of those things and we should all be glad she was wearing her Dickie’s!! (Heavy work jeans).

questions you needn’t answer

1. Just how incompetent IS the security guard at Lux?¹
2. What are the odds that a crow four kilometres away from my house that behaves familiar with me is actually one of the crows I feed from the deck?
3. Is there any market for a book about a single 2.5 km walk in Burnaby?
4. Is “I’m glad you’re okay?” the appropriate response to learning from one of your children that they nearly died in a workplace accident?²
5. Is their spouse being willing to show you the pictures of the aftermath in any way going to ameliorate the emotions arising from question 4?
6. Is Horgan going to cancel Site C? Will direct action be required?
7. What will be the consequences of the demographic crash? (triggered by the pandemic – but likely to continue due to the strange reluctance of the titans of industry to lobby for legislation to help manufacture the workers of the future.)
8. What does Mutual Aid mean to you?
9. If I asked you to be a pallbearer, what would you do? (This is actually a trick question. The correct answer is, remind me that I’m going to be cremated.)
10. Are Indigenous scientists going to save the world?³
11. Are Dominionists going to kill it?
12. Does the body still know best?

  1. in order for this to mean anything you have to know it refers to the fictional L.A. nightclub in the fictional show Lucifer, which is having an absolute WE DON’T CARE ABOUT NARRATIVE final season. I do not know whose fanfic this all is, but the implications are quite interesting.
  2. Katie has some spectacular bruises. She’s not taking questions at this time.
  3. As far as I can see yesss

Wat Tyler has a few words

WAT TYLER SEZ: Ah you good people, things cannot go well in England until all property is in common and there are neither serfs nor gentlemeN but one united people. How ill they behave to us! For what reason do they hold us in bondage? Are we not descended from the same parents, Adam and Eve. And what can they show or what reason can they give, why they should be more masters than ourselves. The lords claim to be more lords than we are rests only on their power to force us to labour and produce in order that they may spend.

beautiful walk at Fraser Foreshore

Saw an eagle roosting in a tree overlooking Sto:lo

saw our first Western Swallowtail of the season

nearly died of cottonwood fluff

Saw a heron in the same place as the last time, fishing

Saw a pileated woodpecker flying from tree to tree

the woods were full of thrushes and towhees

We got really close to a crow

Lots of widdy dogs

Quite a mix of people with masks and without – I was without.

Afterwards we went back to Paul’s and Keith fed us pita and veggies and roast chickpeas. I loaned Paul my three-guitar floor stand to encourage him to play more. kMike came home before I left so I got to talk to him, but I missed Katie.

At home, Jeff prepped and fired up the air conditioner and I’m sure we had a much more pleasant sleep.

Tiny amount of practicing (I’m working on my hammered guitar skills) and writing.


Donald Trump’s month old blog scrubbed from internet – news

well I don’t have much going for me but I’ve managed to keep a blog running almost two hundred times longer than Donald Jerkwaddle Trump


And on a completely different subject, every time Disney does something really repellent, especially around gay people, I snark my ass off, because I have a bunch of hellagay friends who come within a c-hair of worshipping Disney and it’s just… so….wrong, but if I say something I’m peeing on someone’s fandom, etc so here’s me not making an ass of myself on social media but the five people who read this blog KNOW WHAT I THINK

busy day planned

Let’s see what comes of it. (LATER….around 5 pm)  VERY FUNNY you widgeon….. it got too hot to move around 10 am) I did manage to download Finale again and get it running (which was easy, since this version of it didn’t have stuff deleted from it by accident by me.) Also, I took Jeff to breakfast and that used all my energy (climbed the stairs at Westminster Quay) but it was absolutely wonderful and the weather was lovely and the server cheery and even the little kid at the next table only squawked for a couple of minutes and the tugboats and other working boats plying their trade up and down Sto:lo were ever so engaging.))

Guitar stand and saffron and kindergarten table and chairs to Caspell Junction (three generations of our family served, thank you Granny Rivett); pie plates back to Peggy’s; chocolate chips for chocolate chip pecan cookies (some won’t have pecans, for Jeff), need some veg, need to make another dentist appointment, hope to re-download Finale since it’s hopelessly buggered and I need it running again, need to figure out what I’m replacing this laptop with since it’s showing signs of age (the ‘A’ key is a hopeless splodge and the period key is joining it and it’s starting to get really hot when it’s charging; probably I need to replace the battery but I think I should get a jump on things and replace the unit), maybe possibly getting my speakers set up in the spare room/music room downstairs, practicing – I haven’t been, that much,  load of dishes, actually deleting all the Scrivener files that don’t have anything in them, putting the unfinished fanfics (there must be a dozen by now) in the same place and in rank order for being finished, and maybe, just maybe, a beer on the back deck when all the running around is done.

So happy to see a friend

Jeff and Mike and I – having all had our first vaccinations although Mike wasn’t quite to the two week point yet – sat out on the back deck day before yesterday in the glorious sunshine and I pointed out one of the crows I freed (Curvebeak, he’s the most obvious one). I’m feeding them to the end of June until they crop off their babies. I’ll feed crows through the breeding season next year too.

We drank beer and talked in a low key way about various unimportant things, and Mike pulled out his Cordoba half-size nylon string and played some Paul Simon, and some soundtrack from Skyrim, and that really beautiful theme song from that Cantonese language gangster show (I actually have him singing it in a digital file here someplace).

He’s given up on cheap 3d printers. I’m very glad of that. As he said you don’t calibrate a hammer.

He left some beef soup and I traded him for the pork and barley soup I made the other day. IT was aMAZing to hang with a friend.

There’s still plenty of mac n cheese, and roasted veggies too, we have good food choices at the moment.

Monday’s news: The trip to the endodontist was nominal. I was really worried about it but it was fine on the day. I’m not even sore in that tooth, although I did what the receptionist said and took painkillers before the freezing was out.

wip The Hermit

The Hermit

This person is holding up a light for those lost on the mountain, and possibly offering hospitality, although I don’t see how hospitality is possible, when she’s obviously standing on a patch of ice the size of a dinner platter. This is a card for the non-conforming person, the non-neurotypical person, who may in their own way be sociable but just not immediately, or not in the same room with you.

For people who don’t enjoy being touched; for people who are so easily made angry, or frightened, or despairing, that they avoid contact with other human beings. For people who are sociable but whose mode of being causes discomfort to the inhumane.

Aesthetic aside: The Hermit gives away Colman’s training as a backdrop painter. There is not a breath of wind; therefore one possible interpretation is that we are on a metaphorical stage, a different level of existence.

Or else we’re very high.

(Alan Tudyk K2SO voice: Very, very high.)

Yes, this is the weed card. (If you want to read Judaism into it because of the Star of David hidden in the lamp, you can, but the longer iconographic tradition for Judaism is the menorah, which has the distinct advantage of not being associated with various genocides; sadly there’s nothing like it in the Rider Waite tarot illustrations, unless you squint very hard at the 5 of Pentacles.)

Close examination of the image yields a starting discovery; that is not an old man. It is a non-binary person wearing a prop beard. Don’t believe me? Check out the Ten of Pentacles. Colman knew how to paint old with a few telling lines. This is not an oversight. The Tarot is full of casual gender-swapping. If you really think you know what’s underneath those clothes, you may be wrong.

Isolation because you’re not the same as other people. This is a person holding up the light of their own truth. This is also a card for actors, who wear the skin of someone they are not, and scale heights of emotion in challenging ways.

one massive ball

Part of genocide is thinking that one Indigenous person from x point in Canada is like an Indigenous person from y point.

After all these years CBC still thinks that ‘the Indigenous community’ is a convenient monolithic block. It speaks with one voice, sees with one eye, dances with one foot, etc etc. Please don’t roll up Indigenous communities in one mass for your own convenience.

This is me in response to the CBC talking about ‘the Indigenous community’ response to finding 215 murdered children in Kamloops.

The Four of Swords WIP from Tarot for Atheists

Four of Swords

How do you make a sword invisible?  Let a coward wear it!  (thank you, Lawrence Schoonover). Or you beat it into a plowshare, or bury it.  After a long spell of war – this is a peace near death. This card is for people recovering from wars, civil unrest, long imprisonment, every kind of harassment. It may also refer to recuperation after mental and physical illness, agoraphobia, escape from a cult.  Also ugly divorces, separation from traumatizing families, being a refugee and finally arriving somewhere you will not be forced to leave. It may signify a voluntary retreat from the world (yoga, meditation, building a cabin, hiking the West Coast trail, setting up a research camp in the Arctic, even a few hours stolen from ‘real life’ to work in your garden), retirement from active duty, or being relieved of duty.  This card may in its most literal sense be a request from the universe for you to stop and mourn your kin and friends, or to be thankful for surviving some horrible life event, and to mourn those who didn’t make it.

If death and rest are not what is represented, perhaps it is the emptiness, or feeling of internal dislocation, that sometimes follows after working your ass off for years, and reaching your goal.

It may represent a pause in life when you may think about writing your memoirs. You may be contemplating the people you’ve been loyal to, and why; the stained glass shows the young knight swearing fealty.

There is another, non-literal, interpretation of the card: climate instability; this card shows a tomb, the brevity of a human life, compared to the stone the tomb is hewn from. Geological time scales. The slow groan of the earth. The light from a star slowed by glass.

I think this is a migraine

I think I’m having another emotional migraine, and knowing what is going on is helping. I went to bed and slept at least some of those chemicals off but I’ll be careful with myself over the next couple of days.

I don’t feel dissociative but my sensory homunculus is not reliable at the moment and the Alice in Wonderland syndrome is really bad. I’ve had it as long as I can remember so it’s hard to get worried about it now. Lots and lots of sparklies in the visual field in the last couple of days. I can’t look at a screen another instant, back to sleep AGAIN today.

Sad tidings

Finding hundreds of children’s bodies at the Kamloops residential school ground was a ghastly piece of news to get yesterday.

There are many burial places like it. More horror.

I’m just sad about it. Indigenous people on twitter have asked white people to just be still for a while and not make it about them.

Get the babies home. That’s all I can say.

WIP More Tarot for Atheists

The Devil

What a cobbled-together fellow the Devil of the Rider-Waite deck is! With bat wings, his right hand raised in a Mr. Spock salute, in itself half of a priestly blessing from Judaism, his left hand holding a flaming torch pointed at the ground, sporting goat horns, a bestial face, the furred legs of Pan and oddly flaccid talons, he’s seated or perched on a bollard, to which two humans, the Lovers (it appears), are bound.  The chains around their necks can be lifted as they wish but, for some reason, they don’t wish.  Why might this be?

Aesthetic and cultural aside: The original drawing this is based on comes from the work of the nineteenth century’s truly astonishing oddballs – a French socialist/magician/proto-feminist/philosopher/illustrator who preferred to go by the name Éliphas Lévi, although his parents baptized him Alphonse Louis Constant. His drawing, which you may view at Lévi’s wikipedia page, differs in some interesting ways from Colman’s painting; the feminized breasts (placing the Devil along the gender range), for example, and the feathered, as opposed to bat-like, wings of this Tarot card.

Lies, in particular self-deception, are the Devil’s main territory on earth.  His human slaves, who don’t even raise a hand to their chains, have tails, bearing fire (associated with anger and lust) on the man, and the grapes which become wine (standing in for all of temptation and addiction) on the woman.  The full range of human sin is binding them, and they hardly look concerned, because it is apathy in the face of evil that is most excoriated in this card.

The Devil represents the capacity of humans to deceive themselves.  Depending on where the cards are, they point to self deceit about family members and friends, one’s own abilities, one’s frailties. In almost every case the fault comes from within, but as humans it’s our obligation to make the evil in us come forth so we can deal with it in the context of our needs and our obligations to others.

Better by far to acknowledge the darkness and not be used by it to hurt others. This card calls you on your lies, and your inaction in the face of them. Whether you address them in contemplation and private very much depends on you.