Holiday greetings

In no order:

Merry Xmas to the dude on reddit who asked an uncaring universe if he was a nutbar for not taking the Coquihalla this weekend to make it for a family Christmas. I assured him he was not crazy; nothing’s impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it. When an atmospheric river meets an arctic outflow, wild shit falls from the skies.

To my brother Jeff I wish the very best the ‘holiday’ allows him – which is hilarious given that he’s a phone call away from having to work at any moment – and a wish that at some point over the next couple of days we settle in for some ‘real’ Christmas telly: Die Hard, a Call the Midwife Christmas special, maybe a Lord of the Rings or Hobbit binge. Maybe even watch the King’s Broadcast, if only to mock him roundly. I disdain that boorish manchild.

Love and social distancing to the fOlks; we’re not seeing you this Christmas. Remember when the kids were little? and we were somehow obliged to drive hither thither and yon in The.Worst.Fucking.Weather that Southern Ontario could shove in our faces at the end of its tobacco-stained arm? Those days have passed. We can all thank The Grand Joculator for that blessing. Of course I’d rather be there. But the great thing about being a member of this family is that we don’t chivvy each other into social occasions by nagging and guilting the shit out of each other or trivializing each other’s safety; I find this of more comfort than whatever I can derive in a ferry lineup after four cancellations.

To my Ontie Mary and all of her kin of the Niebuhr line, even the ones that are still convinced Jesus in a UFO is comin’ for the righteous, I extend greetings and best wishes for a quiet, joyous and safe Christmas. Cousinly greets to Shauna, John and Katherine.

To the spirit of Jim P, and his surviving family; I hope you have the best Christmas you can. I love you guys and wish I had something other than my own grief to offer as a gift.

To my friend Peggy, whom I haven’t even called in a month because I’m such a bum, Warmest and Brightest wishes of the season. I don’t think I’ll get those biscotti to you before Christmas. I haven’t been busy; I just keep forgetting to buy almonds, and when I looked at the prices at Rave-on yesterday I damned near died of fright.

To the crows and wee birdies; yes I got peanuts and sunflowers; I will put out feed during the worst of the weather event.

To my friend Dave, shifting on his laurels as a soundly published poet, I offer hopes for a spark of cognition which becomes a flame of output. Yeah, right.  You and I have always been at opposite ends of the word spigot….

To my pharmacist YOU ARE THE FUCKING BOMB. Happy holidays! To any pharmacists reading this, thou as well.

To my doctor; thank you for the latest scrip; after many months my blood pressure is now pretty much normal whenever I record it.

To Sue: may the year ahead be filled with family, love, and the work you have chosen with such distinction and success.

To all my former coworkers at the House of X – even if I didn’t like you very much when I was working with you, how I miss you now! It’s a reminder of how familiarity, and time, shifts all things in our feelings. Thinking of you all at midwinter, with particular effect for Mike (of course, special mention), Jerome (seeing him on the 28th weather willing), Stephanie, Sarah, Glenda, Mohammad, Arzina, Jim, Brian, Tom, Ryan, Carlos, Darryl, Ngoc, Patricia and many others whose faces are clear and whose names I cannot now recall.

To my landlady Kim F, who is currently training her replacement and I cannot tell you how sad this makes me since she is literally one of the people I’ve known longest in this town, I’ll probably never see her again after she quits— You were a really good landlady. Sure glad I didn’t have to call you about a plumber. I hope you have a lovely holiday and your daughter brings you nice presents.

To Tammy, whom I’m supposed to visit with on the 26th. O darlin’, I hope your trip to Vancouver (she’s flying in from Hawaii on Saturday) goes smoothly, but I really don’t think it will. Even so, I wish you the best of this season and my earnest hopes for a lovely day of tooling around the lower mainland seeing sights for Boxing Day. That’s what I wish for us. (We were thinking of getting together with the fam but holy cats with the amount of respiratory crud going through that house I can’t see that being a good idea a-tall.)

For Paul, hopes for a better sounding chest; for Keith, well he already got several denominations of my best wishes for a great Christmas (and promptly spent it on groceries, foreign editions please copy); for Katie, grace and peace for 20 minutes in the middle of her bustling household. In the spirit of Christmas I publicly acknowledge that Daxus is back with Katie and we’re all trying to hold grace for someone making an effort. Katie’s happier. I don’t know what else to say. We’re allowed to change our minds.

To Alex and Ryker; a grandmother’s blessing on you. You’re not getting anything else from me, by order of mammabear.

Ah Suzanne! I have enveloped you as a family member and it’s a wonderful thing. I hope you have the peaceful, joyous and family filled Christmas of your fondest wishes. (Note. Suzanne is Dax’s mother. Suzanne knows how to do blended families and I am doing my best to learn from her.) I hope you have all the gluten free treets yer belleh can hold!  Hope three days a week of Rykercare doesn’t prove too much for you.

Fond greetings to Bonnie.

To Leo and Linda and their lively agglomeration of kids and grandkids: merry and joyous best wishes of the season to you all!

To Catherine C, Bob W, Colin H, Jan & Soon and their kinfolk, my Seattle filkfen, Cindy, Jaz, Elias and Kaitlyn (sp), Lois and Bob, kids and grandkids, Ruth and John & their kids, Juliana & household, Al P., Lorna @ IHOP, all the Doordashers who’ve brought food over the last couple of years (and the nameless kind souls who cooked it), to the people processing images from the JWST, Michael Balter & the rest of the gang on twitter, I wish health, strength, and fortune at Christmas and for the year to come.

 

 

 

 

 

Have yourself a medicated Christmas

Have yourself a medicated Christmas
It’s the only way
wifi connectivity is days away

Please take all your edibles with caution
No fair greening out
Please share or the rest of us will call you ‘lout’.

Now we’re home for the holidays
they’ll be squalid days I know
Cheek by jowl with relations dear
& we’re up to here

with snow

Have yourself a medicated Christmas
As your purse allows
Numb your brain cells, then sit in a chair and drowse
& have yourself a medicated Christmas now

Christmas Void – Jan and Soon’s new cat Count Tricksy

Christmas Void, Christmas Void / hiding by the tree. / Will you ever try to drop the Christmas tree on me OH / Christmas Void, Christmas Void / hiding by the tree. / Will you ever try to drop the Christmas tree on me. / Make the tree to shed / by using it to shred / It is not alive / but not exactly dead (a ZOMTREE) / Festive all our hearts / Seasonal our joy / Now that Tannenbaum is up the cat has got a toy! OH!

 

& repeat until people throw crackers.

Quick visits

I went to the pharmacy finally, start the diuretic this am. I shall pee with even more vigour than I do now, oh doodie.

I visited with Ruth and Lois at Caspell Junction. Both the kids were there. Ruth made a roasted yam and pomegranate seed green salad and I made myself tea and brought the chicken wings I prepared the other day (oven baked from scratch, thank GOD I bought kitchen shears, they make wing prep go MUCH faster). They got reheated along with leftover schnitzel from Balkan house in the air fryer so it was quite a lovely meal of fresh and toasty items.

Lovely (and brief, only two hours) visit, simply topped me up. Ryker is getting molars so he keeps being super busy and then grizzling; chasing after the indoor drone and grizzling, tripping over shit and grizzling. At the same time he was sweet and I got one mini cuddle with him.  Even people he live with swear he’s grown in the last week. He will be his father’s son and simply IMMENSE.

Dax was there and loaned me a DVD; he then left for home to do laundry. How long he and Caspell Junction will be two separate households is anybody’s guess but civility reigned for the occasion so I’m going to keep comments and speculations off line.

Ruth looks great and Lois has grown her hair out long so we’re all silver sisters together. They sat down with Paul previously and worked through many of the issues that have been keeping us up at night with the family and all, and them stepping up like this was matched by how amazingly compliant Paul was with them. Honestly I’d like to see anyone stand before their combined energy and blow them off. Good luck chuckles as John might say.

Keith got his ‘Christmas present’ – money. He intends to buy something entirely frivolous and computer related, which is fine by me. Katie already got her money.

Katie looked happier than I’ve seen her in ages.

THEN in a beautiful example of how nothing happens to me for weeks and then boom, Mike turned up with a new Larrivée spruce top ukelele (for himself I hasten to add) which cost an insane amount of money, but I laughed playing it, it is SO LOUD and the intonation is nothing short of spectacular. I played my ‘Fantasia on the Elementary Theme by Sean Callery’ and ‘the Vancouver song’ and ‘The Friend who bought me this ukelele’ and whatever else I’ve worked up on that instrument and he wants tablature for a couple of those so that will keep me busy; I’ve never used Finale to generate tabs so excellent chance to practice my skills.

We ordered White Spot for delivery (Mike paid, bless him), drank dealcoholized beers, watched some Rick and Morty and rewatched the first ep of Wednesday so Mike could get its measure. Then about 7 he went home. Work continues to be foul and hauling two shifts, one for here and one for training in the Philippines. He’s exhausted and has a permanent sleep deficit and insomnia and he’s just going to collapse if this keeps up but that’s capitalizm for ya.

And of course with that much social contact I was both exhausted and buzzing.

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wonderful housefilk

Paul was in excellent form and let the singing for a couple of tunes including the Co-pilot song (followed by Cindy’s filk of it for Stargate Atlantis), Save a Fighter Pilot’s Ass, and It takes a lot to laugh it takes a train to cry. He borrowed Jeffrey’s guitar.

Then he did something I had to pull Peggy aside and explain about. Optimism is not the long term plan. Nobody was ‘impacted’ but it was concerning.

Jeffrey and Jeri Lynn were in fine form and have since arrived back home to their cats and their comfy bed, safe. Everyone enjoyed lunch – I ordered from Big Star and Jeffrey and Jeri Lynn are now converts – she got the number 1 which allows you to experience Thanksgiving in a sandwich.

Keith made and Katie containerized beef stew. Unbelievably good although his use of thyme is liberal and to my taste buds lingering at the doorway of excessive. Jeff if you want any better get at it.

Just have to hit save on this; the wind is unbelievable right now and the power could die at any minute. My laptop’s charged, Jeff’s loaner non-phone likewise, I’ve had coffee and stew, let the day drop down on me.

I wrote 41 whole words yesterday. I could say something rude at this point but I’ll do the NYT wordle and my Lumosity training instead in case the power dies.

Alex, bless her, provides the illo

She forwarded a bunch of housefilk pics from The Dawn of Time, let us just say the best part of 15 years. That’s her, Tom L, not sure and Peggy on standup bass (probably sometime around 2007 but why let facts intrude.)

Emotionally the effect of seeing Paul every day for a week is difficult. However he was perfectly happy to be left at Peggy’s at 4 pm, which was my “I’ve been doing unpaid family related babysitting for two different generations for eight hours and I haven’t pull a full work shift since 2017 so I’m done” o’clock. Yes it was nice to see Alex yesterday (he showed off more pictures, and I loaned him the Kaossilator and Keith finally got home from his morning of difficult appointments) and I fed him and got fed on Keith’s tortellini stew (nice because Paul plated and warmed it for me) but I was ready to go home at one and I hadn’t even made it to Peggy’s yet. So he either walked home (1.9 k in perfect weather, well within his max cap) or Jeff C, being one of the good ones, gave him a lift.

When I got home Jeff had supper ready for me. I nearly burst into tears I was so relieved. Then we watched Farscape and Elementary and tried to watch Iké (a movie) but Jeff bailed.

It was delightful and sad to hear Jeff C. relate the circumstances around his father’s death and funeral (the sound system went berserk and yelled in God Voice BE NOT AFRAID while Jeff was at the lectern which is just typical Jeff; the world is an anecdote waiting to be recounted and his life is merely one strand of it.) He also talked about family history and it was very interesting. His father was abandoned by his mother to his grandmother when he was tiny. He had continuity of care but you never get over your mother going WELP DINNA CANNA. And he was organized enough to arrange to buy an anniversary card and sign it while he still could, so he was in the ground four months when his widow got the card…. very organized. Also kind of I don’t know what word to use, uncanny mebbe.

Jeri Lynn spun, using her extremely sophisticated modern spinning wheel (many bits to fall off, and they all tried to at some point), and I got to feel her skeins of unspun wool, including some baby alpaca MAN YOU WANT SOFT you will go into a swoon touching it. She was also previously baking, rolling out spice cookies with a complicated rolling pin when we arrived.

Cindy and Jas were there making Christmas cookies (the real point of the weekend) because Peggy causes someone to bring the spare stove upstairs and then they (the American Thanksgiving baking team) cook nonstop for a couple of days. I am subsidizing lunch today and it will be either ARGO or Big Star. I’m thinking Big Star and I’ll pick up a side salad. Jas was wearing a t-shirt that said ASK ME ABOUT MY HOST ORGANISM and I complimented him on it.

Brooke was in a corner doing a 100 pattern blackwork circle sampler (in multiple colours of course) and swapping Pokémons with Jeri Lynn, Greg was there ingesting hot chocolate and computer games (much as Alex would do were he there).

Finally put gas in the Echo Paul loaned me. I’m considering taking it to someplace to get the fluids checked. I won’t do it and I don’t know when Paul last did.

We didn’t bring instruments. It was my judgement that a) there are enough quality guitars in the house LOL and we haven’t seen Jeff and Jeri Lynn in yonks so let’s visit and do the music the next day (they leave today but later).

I’ll be picking Paul up around 11:30 and then we’ll drive over and I’ll order lunch for the folks. I’ll also pick up a bunch of side salads so we get our veggies.

I feel beat and I just woke up. It will be another long day; enjoyable, but it’s hard.

from theconcealedweapon on tumblr:

What an autistic person says: “How long is it going to take?”

What they mean: “I want to know whether to activate my short term waiting mode where I just wait and do nothing else, or activate my long term waiting mode where I occupy my mind with something else. I fully understand that both are possibilities, and I have no problem whatsoever with either one, but I want more information so I can best adapt to the situation.”

What neurotypical people hear: “I am impatient and demand that everything I want happen right now. Please scold me and publicly humiliate me for it.”

I’ll be talking to the fam about how much I can do with Paul and how many hours in one day/week I can manage, because if this keeps up I’ll get sick. These days I spend so much time every day crying I feel like I’m sick already.

pot8um on twitter:

So many things are out of kids’ control— uncomfy clothes, loud noises, icky food, confusing rules… As an adult, I make my own choices. I wear, eat, and do what I like, because if I don’t, I get overloaded. That’s why I don’t remind you of your 8-year-old autistic nephew.

housefilk

Peggy and a contingent from the US are housefilking this weekend and I hope to take Paul over this afternoon for a visit with the folks.

Yesterday was another challenge; Paul couldn’t log in to his computer so I ended up over at his house twice, once to bring Katie cinnamon buns before she left for work and once to get him and his computer here so Jeff could inspect it. Fed him some tea but had to take him straight home because Keith was going out and wasn’t able to sit Alex. Jeff fixed it of course. This morning I have to go over to Katie’s and hang with Alex for a couple of hours since it’s a PRO-D day and apparently I’m there to enrich his day. Anyway I went a little nuts at the butcher shop as one does when one is remarkably pleasure deficient.

I do not want interacting with Paul to become an ongoing unpaid job but I do not know how to set boundaries with someone with anosognosia. I mean I could try, but if someone is sick and doesn’t have any insight into it what are the rest of us supposed to do.

Talked to Dave on the phone. He suggested Jeff and I try ‘sort of’ which is a CBC show.

Andor first season finale sticked the landing, absolutely superb, no notes.

Farscape continues to be em single weirdest show ever committed to pixels. Brisco County continues to be good clean fun.

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bottom of a gold Mycenaean bowl photo credit @ArysPan

Reasonably active day

I got through a mountain of laundry, including not forgetting to put the last load to dry; ran errands to the library and the weed store (for edibles, trying to cut smoke for my health), and went with Paul to fetch beer from the Independent Alcohol Supplier and schnitzel from Balkan House for supper. Why? because it was his seventy-third birthday yesterday AND AS A SPESH BONUS I got to speak to Ruth, his sister, as she called to wish him a happy happy. LOVELY. She got my facebook coordinates and promised photos of her trip (she was calling from Northern Newfoundland!!)

Katie went off to the coparent’s for the purpose of stuffing supper into Alex. Why? Because the two of them realized that Alex was running both ends against the middle in terms of his food foibles, so they’re introducing new food and working on his texture issues with family meals. (isn’t it interesting that Katie double booked herself for the evening – I do the same thing so often, thank you ADD.) As long as the coparent is being civil Katie just rolls her eyes. Also saw Mike Rykerdad and greeted him, and I don’t know where I got the idear that his mum’s name is Isabel, it’s Christine. Ryker pretty obviously likes his dad just fine. I did get to dandle and play with Ryker, who was in splendid form, and interacted with civility with Alex about Plants vs Zombies and other subjects, including school. Alex is trying is mother’s patience quite a bit these days, but his haircut is awesome.

The fucking landlord over there STILL HAS NOT PROVIDED A FUNCTIONING FRIDGE. The freezer doesn’t come to temp. Knowing that is enraging, we’re going for two weeks now of this bullshit.

Anyway, sorry for that ill-tempered outburst. So it was just me Paul and Keith for dinner over at their place (I made a plate for Jeff from my leftovers and gave him the fresh bread when I got home) and watched an episode of Sean Bean in Sharpe. Then Keith drove me home since Paul doesn’t drive at night these many long years. Keith and I talked about the diagnosis, but no conclusions or action plans resulted.

Jeff and I were still awake so we watched tv for another hour or so and crashed.

Feasting accomplished

Ordered from Cockney Kings Fish and Chips, watched the latest episode of Westworld, sat on the deck and enjoyed the evening. We hung out until the grand old hour of ten, and Mike declares the 0.0 Heineken beer quite palatable. I got Fat Tugs and drank most of two, so I was plenty plenty last night.

Mike has announced that he’s putting together a skookum gaming computer.

I’m content with the world right now and perhaps I shouldn’t be, but it is a nice feeling to see a friend.

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I get Alex tomorrow afternoon while his brother gets his urology consult. Katie really stayed on top of it, she’s the matriarch now.