Month: May 2009

Kopper has a laugh

Kopper went to TO recently for a whirlwind weekend with one of her daughters.  Got together with Tammy for part of an evening, which makes me very happy, and shared this delicious bit of oops with me:  Mayday was playing on the cabin entertainment. She also got to ride in a limo and stay in a very nice hotel… best Mother’s Day in years I imagine. I liked my geeky Mom’s day just fine.

I have finally gotten a proper night of sleep but I am still messed up from crying off and on for the last two days.  My eyes feel gritty and my head feels like sensate bathroom tissue.

almost there

I almost, and I mean almost got to the end of the song I wrote for John’s memorial service (which will be played at the housefilk afterwards, not the memorial, because the memorial is not about me) but I didn’t make it and cried buckets.  So did we all, it was pretty drippy.

I have located John’s black silk shirt with neon frogs – there must be a hundred pics of him wearing it at conventions – and Juliana has very sweetly offered to part with it.  The dragon I embroidered for him has vanished.  I am saddened, but not devastated.  I’ll just have to do another one, and better.  I am thinking of getting a memorial tattoo for John, but the more I work on the design the more ludicrous it gets.   A gryphon – his totem animal, which is perfect, because it’s imaginary – with a guitar slung over its back and a black rose in its mouth?  eh.  erm.

Home made Chinese food at the House of Tom and Peggy, and Joe ripped cd’s of John’s only extant music – until we find more – and it’s raining and I hate my hormones and I should quit typing and go to sleep.  The little girl is resting next to me right now with a quizzical expression.  So tired.  So wired.  So much to do and not much month to do it in.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

You can read my Mother’s Day homily if you feel like it… it’s the most topical thing I have lying around the site. I remember reading portions of it aloud to John while I was working on it. I remember a lot.

The song for John is more or less finished.  In the song I pretend to be John, commenting on his own funeral.  Paul came by late last night and I woke up from my exhausted, tear stained sleep to feel him giving me a hug, so of course I just started crying again and recited the lyrics to him.  He was quiet for so long afterwards I thought he’d gone to sleep.  We talked for a bit and he took Keith home.

Yesterday was the worst.  The floodgates opened, and I’m crying again now as I type. I’ve got to get up and start doing something, anything.

I know it’s too soon

But I’m working on a song for John.  I’ve got the chorus and that’s always a very good place to start.

I am so thankful to my mother and father right now for being supportive to Paul and Lois and Ruth while they worked on the admittedly  trying task of tidying up John’s stuff.

I’m very glad I’ve got a new home to move to, as well.  I’m going to enjoy being closer to folks.

Funny – or at least I think so

To find this amusing, you must have liked and be able to recognize the characters from the Lord of the Rings movies. It totally sends up the utter inane slashiness of putting that many pretty men in one room.  Elijah Wood?  Viggo Mortenson?  Orlando frikkin Bloom?

Ruth and Lois and Paul were going to drop John’s stuff in my locker, but I just checked  the time and the gates lock at 9 pm.  So no go.  I won’t get to see them before they go back.

Back to work

I am sure work is going to be dreadful today, but those are the breaks when you run away.  Mike looked after me for a day and a half; he fed me, entertained me, let me noodle around on his Larrivee parlour guitar, and look at the moon through noctilucent clouds.  Words cannot describe his kindness to me.  He also drove me around to check out the new/old house.  So strange, so very strange, to be walking up to a house and seeing the window John helped Paul put in his room so he had some natural light in his bedroom.

I’ll get the back bedroom upstairs, Jeff will get the front; there are two bathrooms, a carport, a huge deck, a place to put the barbecue and hang the hammock, and a little workshop.  It’s a LOT more house for the same amount of money, we’re getting the best landlords in history, and we’ll have room for all of our stuff, for a change.  Kim’s going to call us when the house is ready and we’ll start moving.  Wow! We’ll be able to get all the stuff out of storage!  That will be bizarre.  And Jeff can have his pinballs, that will be most excellent.  We will be walking distance from Mike, Tom and Peggy and Planet Bachelor (and who knows how long Keith and Paul are going to keep living there, given that the house appears to be for sale, off and on, so I don’t know how long that will last) and those are all good things.

I am figuring the back bedroom in the basement for the music room.  The only thing the current digs have that the other place doesn’t is a dishwasher, but I think we will fix that.  Also, I’ve fallen back into the dreaded east Burnaby hole in the Transit, so I’ll be LONGER getting to work in the morning even though I am physically closer.  Sheesh.  I just ran the numbers and if I want to get to work on time I must catch the 7:13 every morning without fail.  I also just remembered that I’ll be on a bus route which completely stops running in bad weather.  Work from home!  Work from home!

Just a little choked with the landlord

I really don’t feel like paying any more rent.  The landlord just moved everything off the back deck and started ripping down the back porch – two weeks of banging and inconvenience, and the cats will be fucking crazy by the time it’s all over.  I’ve come to rue not going in to work today.  Paul and his sisters don’t need any of my help so I’m just sitting around crying.  Yes, Lois and Ruth are in town, I have no idea when I’ll see them, and I shouldn’t bother them right now as they have mountains of crap to deal with.

Anyway, he said he’d cover the gas bill.  Mmmm.  I think they’ll be covering more than that before this is all over.  Now I’m off to inspect the first house I lived in when I moved to Vancouver, as it is for rent soon.  A whole house, for what we’re paying now.

So long.