So…. This is going to be a long post, so you can ignore it if you like. First the good news…
Jenn, Debbie’s gorgeous, dog rescuing genius of an only daughter, has graduated from Brown University Magna Cum Laude. I am absolutely thrilled for Jenn and Debbie, and Spence and Jim, the long suffering former and current partners who provided the material and emotional support to make the day happen. Many things about Debbie impress the hell out of me, and it’s a great day to say so. Congratulations to all of you!
Anyway, about this memorial service. Continue reading Yesterday
John’s voice from Conflikt 2. I was crashed out and didn’t hear him play this. You have to register to hear it. Nancy Louise Freeman kindly gave permission to the filk archive to put up the mp3 of Careless (which, coincidentally, I now know well enough to play). Thanks to Harold Stein for forwarding the link in time for the memorial.
I am walking among a thicket of thorns, waking and sleeping. Or perhaps I am crawling. I have come up with a workable solution for a very hard problem, and I cannot implement it because of the law of unintended consequences. Continue reading biscotti and anguish
Mama bird is no bird brain. In other news, I am awake. I spent half an hour communing with Miss Margot. Then I tried to do something on my taxes and got stymied on that. Then I realized that as much as I’d like to I am not going back to sleep so I have to find something useful and quiet to do.
Carrie is coming into town today.
Ruth cooked a fabulous meal which Jeff and I joined in at chez Planet Bachelor, I wrote some checks for the new place, got keys, and fell in love with the newly finished hardwood floors. I am SO looking forward to moving in.
Miss Margot continues her inexorable march into the annals of oddball kitty history. Earlier this week, according to Jeff, he heard her mewing. Normally she makes a noise which is less than ten decibels… really she is one of the quietest cats ever. But in this case, it was a full bore mew and she was obviously exercised about something. Jeff followed the noise into the living room where he discovered Miss Margot sitting in front of the television. She continued to mew, and kept alternating staring at the blank tv and mewing and eyeballing Jeff. He turned the TV on. Success! She watched for a while, and then got bored and walked away.
What kind of cat ASKS for the TV to be turned on? I know she likes hockey. Gosh she’s a bizarre one.
This computational search engine went on line earlier this week. May I suggest that you start with something from the solar system? I’ve just spent an enjoyable couple of minutes comparing orbits and radii of planets and moons in our solar system. And I learned a new word today, eristic. Useful!
Yesterday I fell victim to pathetic fallacy and had another bad day. It was raining pretty hard when I went to work, and I thought about John off and on all day. I feel like I can’t move, can’t function, can’t communicate effectively. A leaden feeling pervades everything. The smallest thing will upset me. Even the prospect of having Katie here for the evening (Planet Bachelor is full up as Ruth and the girls have arrived already and Dax’ place is a little cramped) didn’t cheer me up.
And I feel I should just be able to shake it off. This morning is a little better. A shower, a cup of coffee, a little self care. Jeff is being very kind. I have work to do.
My videographer just forwarded a recent video, which is brief and very nice.
I like this piece of writing because it’s very rude, without swearing, and it’s about people I didn’t like to begin with.
I should have worn better shoes when I went walking last night, but oh well, live and learn.
Time to haul more laundry and clean up the kitchen, which is a sty.
Food and drink and saw Katie and went to church and goods and services auction and sang Tapioca Song with accompaniment by Tom and Peggy and sloppy joes for supper and Miss Margot seems to have recovered from the eye problem Jeff reported yesterday and went for a walk at Oakalla and saw a radio controlled Spitfire and heard coyotes yipping. Did some writing, practiced a song. Must swap laundry.
I thought I would go to bed early and I’m still up. craziness…
I told Tom and Peggy and Paul last night that I wanted to learn every song John used to sing. They obliged by teaching me two; one was Careless by Nancy Freeman which turns out to be super easy and frikkin awesome, and the other is way harder, because Dave and Tracy’s Gentle Arms of Eden (which I also long to parody, may the Goddess strake me privily) is played at breakneck speed with chord changes to match. My finger tips have almost completely calloused up again. It’s like they learned how to get calloused when I was young (I took up guitar at 11) and now when I return to it they get busy.
My embroidered dragon has been located; John’s shirts and his superhero cape have gone back to Lady Miss Banjola, who startled the living mucus outta me by the sudden dramatic change in her appearance. Yes, she has allowed her sister the hair stylist to apply yellow and orange to selected portions of what’s grown back of her hair, and she looks fabulous, and I mean it. If I could change my hair like that and look that fabulous I would – well, I’d probably be south of 30, for starters. I immediately wanted to run out and do the same thing, which is how I frequently feel when Lady Miss B does something… you know, the OOOO SHINY response.
Off to church now. Keith was over at Jeff’s last night… Katie and Paul and I stayed at Planet Bachelor (singing in the evening and church in the morning = I didn’t want to go home). Katie is in good shape – we played cribbage yesterday, and because she learned to play from Doug and Elly, she whipped our butts.
Dax’ car got struck TWICE by other cars, in the last two days; one was a hit and run, t-boned at a red light. I will now maintain a discrete silence.
Singing and playing for two hours completely re-set my brain. And the sun is shining the way it did when I was young, before anything ever hurt me.
but the audio is, I warn you, painful to listen to.
Gentlemen are assembling the back deck and yelling at each other in Urdu, or maybe Panjabi.
I had to get the bite adjusted on a lower molar (it still hurts to bite down but not as much) and I’ve got two cavities to re-excavate prior to losing my dental plan. And I may be in for another crown, but that’s pretty normal, and there is always the possibility that there’s an infection the xrays didn’t show; I don’t care, I just want it fixed.
Landpeer Tony beat at the house with a sledgehammer for an hour and a half Thursday night. Jeff thought of remonstrating with him and decided it was pointless. They still haven’t brought me back the keys they took the day they ripped the deck off the house.
I phoned Kim when I got out of the dentist’s last night and the house will be ready Monday. Jeff will call her and inspect it for move in readiness as he doesn’t work Mondays and then we’ll hire a truck, likely for the first weekend in June, as it’s likely to be too nuts between now and then anyway, not packed, John service, and the generalized insanity of having dozens of friends and family I haven’t seen in years or many moons turn up and need coddling. I am now to the point where I don’t feel like I’m going to fall off the edge of the world. I feel a more grim determination that I’m going to do the best I can by my year off, and really really make an effort to finish things. John kicked my ass many times to be more physically and musically active; strange that he had to die before I felt like listening to him.
A big bag of his clothes arrived; thank you mOm. I got the frog silk shirt back, thank you for your indulgence Juliana, and I mention his white tiger shirt and his superhero cape. I will be interested to hear what Lady Miss Banjola would like done with that. I want the Beacon music shirt but the rest should go to his friends and family. Also, I am going quite insane thinking of who should get the willie warmer he owned – and occasionally wore, rather horrifyingly – and I kinda think his old housemate Colin should get it but I’ll leave that little conundrum to the family as well. I can’t imagine Keith wanting or wearing it, or Jesse for that matter, and those were his only two nephews.
Most important thing on my list between now and the 28th is writing John’s eulogy. There will actually be two, one for public and one for private consumption, but the public one comes first.
Took Jeff to the Keg as a gross act of self and brotherly indulgence. Today I need to pack, pack and pack again, as well as launder and throw out trash.
I’m having a rilly hard time concentrating at work. No surprise there.