I put a deposit down on the cafe yesterday. So begins an enterprise.
The only thing I don’t understand about the rogue LAPD cop Christopher Dorner is not why he hasn’t been caught – he will be, and I cheerfully predict that he’ll go quietly and not die in a hail of gunfire – it’s why nobody’s bought the domain name yet.
My fellow board member Audrey has lost her mother. She was well into her nineties. Blind Lemming Chiffon, when we had dinner at Conflikt, said that until you’ve lost a parent you can’t understand what it’s like. That was also the same supper where he gave me the Ebay overview on what allows him to sell like a master, and where he recommended Searching for Sugar Man, one of the best and most astonishing music documentaries I have ever seen.
Jeff is having pie for breakfast. He’s a rebel.
I was thinking (as I had another crying bout thinking about John last night) about loss. I thought, “Ah, so selfish. It is not my love for him that hurts me. I will have that forever; I can’t stop loving him just because he’s dead. I’m sad because he loved me, and he’ll never stop me from falling off a mountain, or give me a lift on his motorcycle, or make me laugh, or sing with me, or feed me or lift my spirits or be a familiar face in a crowd of strangers ever again. And that is why I am sad. Not because someone I love died. It’s because someone who loved me died.”
I saw both of the kids yesterday, yay, and fed Rob and Keith as well as Jeff. I made pork schnitzel, taters, broccoli and carrots, and there was a tablecloth and pie and two kinds of ice cream, so it was rather festive, even without beer. I’ve gone off beer again. There is a medical condition which I’m too polite to whine about in public which improves by about 30% when I don’t drink beer, and it definitely hurts the insomnia when I drink beer. I just love beer and wish it wasn’t so mean to me.
It’s a fine axemurderer’s fog out there this morning.
Obviously I have a lot of work to do before Katie calls me for our trek up to City Hall, so I’ll get to it.