another bad mental health day yesterday, but Peggy, despite her gammy knee, dropped by with pie and after Jeff and I LITERALLY DEVOURED IT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CONTAINER, we used forks thank god, he said is there more like I had hidden some (where? in my ass crack?) and I said alas no, because that strawberry rhubarb pie was among the best I ever et.
Xeni Jardin on twitter, May 23 2020
I learned during cancer that it is important to be mindful of the possibility that these might be the normal good old days. There is no guarantee of relief or a happy outcome. None whatsoever. Paradoxically, through practicing acceptance of this truth, I finally found peace.
I’m trying to combat the listlessness with lists. I’m listing to the left on this one. Listerine is not on the list. Allistics are not on the list (just in case you don’t know, this is non-autistic people when autistic people are talking about them and Jeff you were looking for this word the other day as I recall.) Calisthenics are definitely on the list – in fact I can Zoom in to my former exercise classes, if I used Zoom, which I don’t – Skype is my limit on that shit. I quit Skype. It’s listenable but they took on a right wing air hog in a multi million dollar deal so I delisted them from my credit card expenses. A klister is NOT on the list. Becoming a phallist is not on the list… I mean, I’m a fan, but not a stan, if you know what I mean. Should I put being a homilist on the list? I asked twitter to give me hints for writing a new homily as a writing prompt. I paid to go virtually to WisCON and didn’t even watch a panellist. I could stand to see a decent cemballist, but finding one that’s a decent stylist might be difficult, especially if they’re an atonalist. Am I emblematic as a personalist? I could be, if I wasn’t also being such a damned diabolist. I can’t keep walking through each day like a somnambulist.