Month: February 2005

that’s Pokey

WRENCHINGLY STOP THE GEAR TEETH OF THE PRESSES! SYNTAX MURDER AND WHINING CEASE!!! Okay, I’m calmer now. I will be posting some pictures….Maria, a friend of Katie’s, whom she saw earlier today, “And she looked as pretty as I’ve ever seen her and she must have spent an hour on her hair,” is lying in an intensive care unit somewhere in the lower mainland subsequent to being struck by a car. Skull caved in somewhat – she’s in a coma; no further details.

My mother just told me a family story (more than 50 years old) that is so intense and scary, and with no end in sight, that my heart just about stopped a couple of times. A lot of children die in this story, so it’s a weird thing to hear about on Valentine’s Day.

Forgot to call Tam, may my ears droop, but happy Valentine’s Day anyway sweetie.

“Where’d *that* come from” said Paul when he got home this evening and found the remains of the tarts, a picture of which may or may not be appended depending on whether I can actually hit the right button.

There was a big bottle of ether around too because the Beemer is going back together soonish and Kate whipped around from the computer and said ether? Like in the movie? (which made sense to me because *I* knew that she’d just seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which she really enjoyed) and I said yes.

John read Aftermath, which is by Lois McMaster Bujold. Katie liked that.

And we went to Chong Lum Hin for yummy dinner, including my lunch for tomorrow (tofu and minced pork in hot sauce, man it was good!)

I attempted to register the kids for a “how to get a summer job” course which includes Food Safe (the local “Please don’t give the effing tourists salmonella you effing boneheads” course). We shall see whether they took my money…. The kids are giving up their March break for this, it’d better be worth it. It means they’ll have to be in the right place at Cap College for 10 in the frikkin’ mornin’ too. I ain’t hauling that shift, they got bus passes.

Anywess, the tarts, the Hallucinogenia brand tarts; Brooke poked her head in at John’s workplace with 12 of these eyepopping little menaces; I say it three times, she’s a goddess among women, although her banjo debilitation deeply troubles me by times. John said I cannot possibly consume these, I must have your assistance. I womanfully bellyflopped into the breach and I promise I ate it reasonably slowly.

I hope Maria recovers fully but this is now the second kid in a matter of months that Katie saw and then was killed or injured by a car hours later so she’s understandably a little freaked.

Funny (to me) email exchange with Daxus (yes, that’s the boyfriend’s name) this am; Katie had told him I bought him a shirt and he Tsked me, the little sod. So I said, “I TOLD Katie to keep her yap shut, or you’d think I was a cougar. Oh well.” If I didn’t know she’d massage my skull with a chair leg I’d post the poem and letter she wrote for him. In the annals of big big love it’s definitely a keeper.

At last count 14 people have thanked me for Valentine’s Day cards. And the lawyer gave me a home made chocolate muffin with a glacier of white icing and a heart of red sprinkles on top. Man, you get these people going and they are COMPETITIVE. Next year the plan is to buy ALL the best grade school valentines (some of them are actually quite cool) and give one to every person in the company (including the overseas folks), but personalize the ones for individuals.

I’d better post this or my mom will be cheesed that I didn’t hit send before she went to bed because she’s expecting this.

Daniel J Cox of National Geographic took this pic of a Great Grey owlet in the snow.

http://magma.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0502/feature4/index.html

is the link to the rest of the pics, which I highly recommend, and thanks to CJ for forwarding the link in the first place.

Tremendous deficiency of baby animals lately, must find more cute pix.

 

This past week I made and distributed Valentines to a number of my beloved coworkers, including such self penned gems as

Please let this card express

my sincere appreciation

for how your hard work,

professionalism and sense of humour

help transform this place

from a mind-numbing zombie hellpit of darkness

to a really cool place to work.

I am not exaggerating to say that I made a lot of people’s days. Two coworkers approached me with tears of gratitude in their eyes, and one went home and had his wife do me up a full colour response to the foregoing, including a really scary looking zombie….(Valentines are red, strawberries too, When I now think of Zombies I’ll be thinking of you!).

Hallmark makes coworker valentine cards, but I doubt any of them said that.

I have fallen deeply in love with that mandolin. Keith is annoyed with me, as I was practicing 5 hours yesterday. Worked up the melody line for Wildwood Flower, plus all the chord changes, plus an extremely rock and roll break for it. Bery funny. Also worked out “Tapioca” and “Lifeline” for the mando – actually sounds kinda cool, although I really need to put instrumental breaks in both of them. Zow. And you know, none of this would have happened if Paul hadn’t ordered me to have a good time yesterday. I laundered not, neither did I spin. I just played the mando until Keith was ready to adjust my air supply. My entire left hand is screeching like a fishwife and I have interesting divots out of my right arm where I was resting it against the instrument. The SD ram in the camera DOES NOT FIT the MP3 player, calice tabernac. Highly recommended – Red vs. Blue. I know it makes me an idiot, but I am a fan.

Not much to report except I saw the Aviator last night and was very impressed by the – check any – script, direction, acting, costumes, sets blah blah blah. Great great airplane crash scene. Leonardo Dicaprio is a weird looking dude.

Hey Brooke my last email to you bounced – but if you google bluegrass in Vancouver it should give the bluegrass slowpitch monday info. Hey Tori, I called you this morning and it rang twice and disconnected. I’ll try back again later.

My gig at the Laughing Bean went great. I had a cheat sheet on me but didn’t need to consult it that often – I will be better rehearsed next Friday. Boy was I glad to see John… I had no idee whether Paul was going to make it in time for my set (he missed by about 4 minutes) so it was extremely nice to have one of my krewe there.

Zeek!, the little bugger, woke me at 4:30 doing his I Am A Siren imitation in the front yard. Let him in the back door about 90 seconds later and his tail was as wide as the rest of him. I don’t know which of his neighbours he was so exercised about but his tail was still fluffed up even after I provided some crunchies to get him to calm down.

I still think Ilona’s bit about the Teletubbies in the DTES was pretty funny.

Pic is of the 25th wedding celebration for Leo and Linda. Sigh. Paul and I are almost there ourselves, except we never bothered with the getting married part.

This a picture of my oldest friend. I found it on the inertnet. This is an extremely lifelike and realistic picture and I have to say it made me smile.

 

2019 says MY REAL OLDEST FRIEND IS ANNE MCKINNON with whom I reconnected this year.

BUT Bonnie lives in BC, so…..

After a long battle, the townspeople of Berlin, Conn., can finally get naked in public.

More than a year ago, Marty St. Pierre, co-owner of the Berlin Station Cafe (search), put up a sign advertising “Naked Karaoke” for a laugh.

“It was always a joke, nothing more than that,” St. Pierre told the New Britain (Conn.) Herald.

But people signed up – 120 of them. The interest was so great that the town let St. Pierre know he could be arrested for violating a sexually oriented business ordinance.

Co-owner David Koskoff, a lawyer, sued the town on the grounds that the ordinance was ridiculous, and won.

Last month, the town amended the ordinance, and, after two pajamas-and-underwear qualifying rounds, full-monty Naked Karaoke will finally take place this Saturday.

“I personally think it’s an embarrassment to the town,” said Mayor Adam Salina.

“It’s a completely voluntary activity,” counters St. Pierre. “It’s not like I’m paying people to do karaoke with clothing optional.”

So, anyway, opineth Allegra, I’ll see you at Wreck Beach for the Naked Karaoke Beach party.

Paul’s cousin and his cousin’s hunting buddy were killed by a grizzly sow up in the Rockies. Here’s the plaque.

October 9, 1995 RIP

Worked some more on my routine last night. I am now officially in panic mode, but since that comes close to being my normal state it would be hard for anybody to tell the difference. I forgot to take my vitamins so I feel sort of … I don’t know … sludgy this mornin’. Katie continues to be completely involved in young True Love, while finishing her homework and maintaining something resembling a social life, although I could wish that teenaged boys bearing mace weren’t allowed in with such jolly abandon. (They were gone by the time Paul and I got back from the financial advisor). Cari and Robin have actually registered at Katie and Keith’s school but apparently they aren’t talking to Katie very much. Keith has started Art and had to sketch an iron last night. I think he is very brave to be taking art, considering that like me he has no native skill for it. He did call the roving Mandolin instructor but the instructor is going out of town so he made a recommendation, and it turns out… this is hilarious… that two of the finest instructors of Mandolin in BC live walking distance from this house. I have come to the conclusion that apart from all the grow ops and bikers and untamed ethnics with unregistered rifles, an awful lot of nice and sensible people live in East Burnaby and environs. Paul says there were 20 banjos in one room at the Anza Club on Monday and to this I can only add “The horror! the horror!” as once cannot reasonably assume that they, the fiddle players, the guitarists and the mandolin players, who were all there for slow pitch night at the Bluegrass, were all actually in tune, unless they hired a Big Hairy Guy to force incoming players to twist some pegs. Brooke, I’m thinking of you. Let’s see what else. Katie found a picture of her boyfriend on the internet just by googling his name under images. Note to self. The pic of me on the internet, from Beacon, sucks a mop; I have since disposed of that dress and that godforsaken haircut, and it’s a good thing. Must ask them to remove the pic – it got taken when I stood for the Board of Trustees. Had to put in a special order for the King Cobb Steelie album, but at least it will be cheap. Off to work. So is Paul – four evenings, which means, of course, that he will be missing both of our comedy class performances. Life is massively unfair. Once again, it’s at the Laughing Bean on Hastings, 8 pm this Friday and next. I’ve decided not to invite anybody; if anybody shows up it’s because they actually read my blog. Pic is something random from Xantrex, part of a Christmas display.

I light a candle for Mike who had dental surgery recently and is feeling quite icky from all accounts… he’s not well enough to call himself so I’m glad Toribird gave me an update.

Learned that Paul not only went out drinking last night he PUB CRAWLED. Started at the Anza and ended up at the Yale, which is not actually a bad crawl for two middle aged men. While they were attempting to enjoy the show at the Yale, a prostitute accosted Mike J and Paul. She offered oral satisfaction for the princely sum of $20. Hey, I said, that’s only two hits of rock. And she demanded drinks and smokes. Paul was so grossed out when he was describing it that his voice kept trailing off and he kept shaking his head like a parrot that’s just eaten a garlic clove, thinking it was an almond. I don’t know what offended him more, the notion of paying for it, her general level of unattractiveness (Paul was too polite to give details and I was too spellbound by this glimpse into seediness to ask), or the idea that he looked like a prospect. He was still shuddering and making ick noises even today, which is pretty funny when you think about it. I love the men in my life. They are so very cool, and so very unpretentious.

My laptop at work finally died. CPU crapped out. (After 6 years it didn’t owe us anything). But, and this is probably an apocalyptic sign, it came back to life just long enough for me to back up my data, before it expired one last time as I was trying to put in an order. Moved over one pod and kept working. It’s weird how you get used to one particular desktop and get antsy if you don’t have it any more.

Katie was supposed to come home and do homework… growl. She is, instead, ensconced with her BF. Paul and I cooked a nice big meal… Keith turned his nose up at it and Katie didn’t come home. Grouse, whine. At least I know where she is.

Bizarre looking critter, isn’t it? It actually looks like a superior form of logo or industrial design, but it’s one of the things that happens when water gets cold. Molto cool, as they say. Katie is off administering physical therapy to the boyfriend (go give your dirty mind a bath, he moves furniture for a living and after a week solid of work he’s a complete mess and needs his back worked on), Keith just got back from an invigorating workout, and Paul’s out getting drunk someplace… oh yeah, I guess I should say that he’s drinking 2 whole beers at the Anza club, which apparently has bluegrass tonight. I am just minding my own business, having tidied the house somewhat. La la la. Remember, the server for my blog is in England, so even though it says it’s tomorrow, it’s still really today. If you know what I mean. Stole the MP3 player back from Katie and I just loaded up a bunch of Dandy Warhols. …. more later.

Last night I dreamed that somebody I wouldn’t want to live with showed up at my new house with a truckful of unpacked stuff and then started to complain to passersby that “I had changed” when I said No Way. “I’ll just move all my things into the attic”. Uh, no you won’t.

Sigh. I had to call Paul on the cel phone and let him deal with it. We call this practice “Hiding behind each other’s skirts” when we have a social situation that one of us can deal with and the other one can’t.

Very useful.

Kira is trying to kill an inanimate object. Maybe she should go outside and hunt something.

Katie’s conquest of technology continues apace. Paul said he didn’t want the MP3 player so I got it. Essentially that means Kate got it, because even though I loaded it up with my favourite playlist, she figured out how to get her own music on it, so I’m not taking it to work today. I just handed it back to her and said, uh, yeah, well I don’t want it back until I have a better playlist because I don’t want to listen to Sandstorm by Da Rude. Okay, maybe I do, but it’s one of those things you don’t talk about in public. As for the rest of the songs, wouldn’t you just cry to learn that she put MY tune, Crazymaking Boy, on the playa (You are… my hero from a fable, my supper on the table… etc) and played it for her swain and her swain’s mum last night. Said swain opined That’s Not Your Mom and Katie said, for true it is. Then he listened to it twice. The way to a mom’s heart, et.f.cet.

Keith is making coffee, like the young godling he is. My routine is now half assembled … the young Frankenstein of modern humour. Run…! Run for your very wits!

Pic is some random animal. John’s bike is being recalcitrant. Young love is being radiant. Goofy, but radiant. Bike and Spuffy are being pretty. My physical condition is being difficult. Paul is being wonderful.

Throw me… throw me a lifeline, throw me a lifeline, right now. x 2

My beauty and my ugliness they went for a ride

Beauty said to Ugly baby I gotta drive

Ugly said to Beauty well I don’t mind that

Hit Beauty in the head with a big ol’ baseball bat

Chorus

Operator operator do I really need you

Do I need you to put me through?

Do I need you to open up a line

Do I need you to show me a sign?

Show me, show me a lifeline, throw me a lifeline, right now X 2

You’re doing me a favour; now, when did you decide to keep your mouth shut and your arms out wide? You could be complaining but you just let it slide… you’re the reason I came back to life after I died.

Chorus & fade.