Now, my mother will kick my heinie if I talk about any of this in a sloppy, sentimental or overly dramatic way, but I think the sensitive viewer will admit that finding out that your mom has cancer is one of those things that makes you very preoccupied and introspective.
Having said that I must hasten to add a number of facts:
She’ll still probably live a long time. By the numbers – and we’re kind of funny that way, as a family, thinking about probabilities in as realistic a fashion as we can – it’s true.
She’s going to get excellent care.
She’s not scared, freaked out or lying on the bathroom floor washing tranks down with red wine, while my dad frantically beats on the door calling her name. Actually, I find it rather amusing to even suggest that she’d do such a thing, it’s so far away from what she’s like. In fact, I’d pay good money to watch her pretend to do that.
Everything that’s about to happen is going to be an inconvenience. That’s the way she’s treating it, and I’m going to line up behind her on that one, although you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be visiting her somewhat more frequently in future, now that my 8 months of navel gazing are done. I’ll be more comfortable knowing what the course of treatment is going to be, but I’m not going to waste two seconds feeling sorry for her or me. If you have her contact info you can fire off an email to her directly or you can post comments to this if you feel so inclined.
The waiting is hard. We’ll be better when there’s something to be done.
7 thoughts on “so anyway (family bad news)”
My thoughts are with you Allegra, Nautilus3, Loki and the rest of your family members. I think the most encouraging attribute at your disposal is Nautilus3’s knowledge of hospital/medical administration. This will allow Nautilus3 to be her own advocate in her treatment. I am sorry to report I am sad to hear this news, but I do believe Nautilus3 is surrounded by very smart, resourceful people and I am sure no rock will remain unturned in the search for the best form(s) of treatment.
Oh, crap. I wish most heartily and sincerely that years later you will look back on this as nothing worse than a series of small annoyances. Here’s to short wait-lists, clever doctors, boringly straightforward diagnoses even a sleep-deprived resident couldn’t botch, correct spelling of your name by the clerks, and interesting magazines in the waiting room.
Short lists…. ah, BC. As Peggy remarked, at least we have cancer treatment protocols in BC, which is why we consistently get better results than elsewhere in Canada.
I thank you all for the kind thoughts.
The problem is that almost nothing happens quickly here on the left coast. We await information on treatment options, and I am prepared to do whatever it takes to speed the treatment up once we know.
Since waiting was called for I took a couple of weeks to watch the entire seven seasons’ worth of The West Wing. That’s 43 minutes times seven seasons times 21 episodes a season. A LOT of time spent watching a fantasy USA play out. After that, and waking up to see that yes, it WAS fantasy and no, that is NOT the real world, I was ready to deal constructively with my particular reality. Never for a moment, my dear sir, doubt the efficacy of fantasy. Extra points for placing the misquote.
Around the world in 80 days.
I like you Loki, Nautilus3 will be lucky to have in the cheering section. Good luck with every step along the way. Now, I have to take my first born back to university (Brown, Providence, RI). Take care.