There’s something about English that makes it very, very useful. You can remove a lot of meaning, and still communicate. Hell, you can replace letters at random and still get the idea…
Yesterday I performed the most spectacular inadvertent pratfall I think I ever have. In front of at least a dozen people (not all of whom were looking at me) I turned my ankle in the middle of a road, right next to the construction site up the hill, pirouetted with great speed and no grace and did a shoulder roll onto my back.
Patricia (who was with me, and who better to see this than somebody who will be teasing me about it until one of us goes senile) said that the flock of ESL students coming up the hill towards me all clapped their right hands over their mouths in a simultaneous display of distress. I just lay there looking up at the sky and laughing. Apart from a smudge of dirt up one leg there wasn’t a mark, scratch or bruise on me. My shoulder is no more sore this morning than it would have been if I’d been in the front of a canoe for a trip to Widgeon Creek. You’d think my hip or my back would have protested, but I’m no worse or better off this morning than I was yesterday. The body is a remarkable thing. It’s odd. I likely wouldn’t have fallen if I hadn’t consumed beer at lunch but on the other hand, I was as relaxed as a rag doll when my balance let go.
Today it’s daughter Katie (“I spent all my money on a suit, can you buy me a bus pass?” – and I just paid her cell phone bill. Mothers.) from about 9:30 on and then home before supper time to attempt to make myself beautiful for my date (here insert the faint sound of eyes rolling).
But what a suit! Katie got a black Hugo Boss pure wool men’s suit, which fits her, down to the arms being shorter than the average guy’s, for ten bucks and tax. You have to admit that’s a pretty spectactular find. I had to rip Katie a new one for taking her GODDAMNED PAYCHECK TO THE MONEY MART. Girl, don’t pay almost 30 bucks for the privilege of getting your own money, come to me, or your dad, or Keith, or guh, ANYBODY who knows you with a bank account. I can’t imagine Keith doing something like that on the worst day he ever had; it’s remarkable how different two kids can be.
Anyway, it looks fair to be a wonderful day, and I’se so happy to be alive.