Awake at 5:20 am, poked around the net for a while, then got up and cleaned some pots and next thing I knew I was late for the bus. All quite normal. Late for work because both the 145 bus and the Skytrain were delayed, who knows why. At least I didn’t kill myself by falling down that slope – I’ve posted pictures of it, just imagine it covered with a glossy slick of compressed slush.
At 9 the town hall meeting with our new squid overlords. THEY CAN HAS SWAG!!! They gave out jackets, and mine is very nice and will probably fit me better in a year. But I like it. The meeting was full of my coworkers conspicuously signalling to me to get off my ass and ask the new squid overlords some pointy questions like I used to do, but I glued said same ass to my chair. Besides, I was wearing my “Earth to the Dandy Warhols” t-shirt and I just didn’t look corporate enough.
At work today, Mike McG gamely attempted over three meetings (Patricia was also there) to a) jam Ohm’s law into my tiny pea brain; b) jam info about PV string sizing into my tiny pea brain and c) get my advice/input/loud and unfeigned praise on a totally HAWT Salesforce customization. This will mean nothing to most of you but when I think of how much time and keystrokes that man plans to save the company I tremble in my granny panties, lemme tell you…
At lunch, Jeff the Queasy (an easily grossed out cowirker) said, “What the hell was with 206, somebody drew Ohm’s law all over the whiteboard?” and Patricia and I are thinking, “Hm, should we tell him?”
Anyway, I didn’t work much because I was in meetings or lunching for like 5 hours. It was like being an executive, and Tanya took the worst call of the day, honestly, the customer was a jerk to her, and then of course was nice as pie to me.
OH MY STARS. I have to tell this story, even if it gets me fired. The marketing department, whom I have been convinced wants to either kill me or slap me into an insane asylum for at least a decade now, put my name on a document….. associated with a phone number which comes to my desk …. and a toll free number that, alas, was one digit out from being correct. Care to guess what my name was associated with? A front for a phone sex line. I can die happy now. All my Dilbert dreams/nightmares have come true. By all the gods I don’t believe in, this story is absolutely true and I can call witnesses. And besides, the marketing department has already fixed it.
Our new HR overlord is from Suth Cahlina, and she said You All twice during the town hall. Not Y’all, that’s trashy, but You All, that’s cute.
Much thanks to Sandy P for the hilarious email about the mighty huntin’ dogs she has, I laughed like a drain.
Then a call from Paul – I’d been expecting to take the bus to his place preparatory for a swim, but he decided to pick me up, and then when I got there it was me, Keith, Kate, Paul and Daxus, and Dan T. dropped by for some soup, and I arranged to spend most of Saturday with Katie, and she plucked my eyebrows (they were raggedy). Katie and Daxus were playing chess when I arrived – Daxus was shellacking Katie. I saw the board and went, Concede, you fool! but they played it out. After dinner Keith and Paul and I went to the pool and swam and soaked, and then Paul drove me home. I drove home, but it’s Paul’s car. You know what I mean.
It was so good to see everybody. Dan T. said, “I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed that I ate somebody’s dog, and it tasted like a pear, but I didn’t really like it all that much so I had two bites and threw it away, and then the owners were saying, “Where’s Fluffy?” I cried laughing, he was so matter-of-fact about it. I light a candle for his dad, who died recently. I only met him the once, when I gave a homily at the Comox Valley Fellowship, but I was very impressed with him indeed. He will be missed.
