whine

I haven’t even moved half the dirt yet, but I did move some, and the tremendously amazing Tom L has loaned me what looks like Andre the Giant’s wheelbarrow so the rest will go faster. So more work in the hot sun yum.

The following gem was scanged from Jamelle Bouie’s twitter this am.

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ammonite septum

(Madagascaran Argonauticeras besairei)

Lucky me

Well, I don’t know what happened, but all the memorably sub-optimal and entirely my ownership horse puckey that’s happened over the last ten years has turned into me being a lucky sod.

I have water power heat netflix and wifi. I’m not living alone, and I’m not living with a bunch of people who all leave the house every day. I have enough food, musical instruments and projects to keep me through this pandemic and the next one too.

I had a bunch of bad luck that forced me into a situation where I hardly ever leave the house, and then everybody else is in it too and I think, well, I really feel sorry for the extroverts, because this is HELL, SHEER HELL M’DEAR

I suppose five sf novels and a hijjus tonne of fanfic and at least thirty tunes, (I mean I wrote all my stargate stuff in the last ten years, and that’s five feckin’ tunes, right there) is nothing to sneeze at for all my previous isolation. I keep forgetting that all the way through no matter which mental health crises I was having, I placidly continued to practice, purchase new instruments and bang into new ways of singing and hearing and forming songs.

If I think of what else I’ve done that’s worthwhile, I can relax, because inevitably I can travel back through the blog and remember that I indeed, erm, did, erm, shit that was worthwhile. Much of the time I’m dreadfully self-serving, but defending my artistic capacity is not a job anyone can do, ’cause ain’t no other mofo got time for that shit, candidly, and I’m the one of the few people motivated, which given my innate slothican tendencies and my immense distractibility creates its own issues with all that ludicrous reality interface stuff that we all just watched dissolve.

So travel, a few family visits, back to Toronto twice, not as many visits as I should, but I have to be in decent shape to travel, and air travel’s gone, and believe me that’s an issue more and more; we must look to local mutual aid, which means

Mentally and physically I have to be there, and it’s harder and harder to put together, because I’m simply not as sharp as I used to be; just as clever, spread out thinner, and blunter, alas, and dead slow, like a shadow dawdling in a cartoon to mime looking at something of interest elsewhere before perforce being dragged back into real time with everyone else. Iceland was my farewell to that and I’m glad I went there and I hope never to trouble its ecosystem again.

I just have this horrible presentiment that someone ran off with my dirt in the night. Isn’t that irrational? I mean my window faces the alley…. I’m dying here, it would have made so much noise. I’m not getting dressed just because I’m a feckin’ worry wart.

Didn’t leave the house again yesterday so I’ll mail Dave’s package today. I’ll mail mOm and pOp’s when I’ve finished policing up the threads. The glue on the stamps is still gluey, but the taste, after how many years, is bad enough to make you temporarily hallucinate that your tongue is doing a backflip away from your face.

mask making

I assembled all of my materials for mask making; I made nose pieces for 7 masks out of available materials; I ironed the fabric; I ceased operations because I realized I literally do not have the coping capacity to wind a frickin’ bobbin. Heavy sigh. Tomorrow morning I promise it will start again.

I washed and folded hand towels today and made coffee.

I worked on a tune and read fanfic.

an observation

Let’s just say, you mouldering pile of cloth-hearted lickspittles known as ‘economists’, that a lot more epidemiologists predicted an economy-crashing pandemic than you did. Fuck all y’all.

and from my fave ER nurse, this gem, half of which I don’t even get:

 

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The foregoing image is a bingo card of ER drugs and their uses/personalities.

Epinephrine

Andexxa is when you actually need the patient’s blood to clot

TDaP is actually a vaccine – tetanus

Rocuronium is a muscle relaxant of choice for intubation

Insulin

Acetylcysteine for Acetominophen overdose and also loosens mucous

Succinylcholine Also for intubation

Tylenol

Ketamine

more hypochondria and RIP Mel Baggs

Mel Baggs the disabled activist is dead. Sie went into hospital a couple of days ago, not sure why, and hir last post was about how alienating the hospital was. That made me cry.

I must sadly say that I followed hir on twitter for a while and stopped because I found what sie said unchallenging and the way sie said it so annoying that I couldn’t deal with it. I kept wanting to argue with hir or high key mock hir and if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s not to white lady on people, so I just backed off.

Now sie’s dead and I’m reading her blog. Reading the temporal lobe epilepsy symptoms on hir blog freaked me out, since at various points in my life I’ve had symptoms identical; just never all at once.

I have a deeply weird brain, but I’m quite attached to it. Mel also pointed out that ‘status migraine aura’ is possible which is when you’re in a migraine state all the time without head pain. I’ve gone months like that.