at wit’s end

My doc was a no show for my last appointment, when I was supposed to get my prescriptions updated, and I got victim blamed after half an hour of trying to get through to the clinic for not realizing she doesn’t do phone renewals. I knew that, I just COULDN’T GET A FUCKING APPT and now I can’t for FOUR WEEKS.

I’m about to run out of meds that, if I don’t take them, will cause me to be at risk of stroke or brain bleed so FUCK MY BLOOD PRESSURE DURING A PANDEMIC, RIGHT?

ANYWAY if I die, please ask Jeff who my doctor was so you can send her my regards posthumously. I’m so angry and scared I’m losing it, hard.

AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE BLOOD TODAY and I can’t because I was reluctantly given an emergency appointment that my doc may very well bail on that falls at the same time. I’M TRYING TO BE SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE HERE and fuck my life, seriously.


a remarkable piece of clueless self-indulgence

So, there’s a very energetically written and on-the-surface well-thought-out think piece at Palladium. I read stuff like this from time to time to energize me, give me new ideas and to refine my thinking on such matters as productivity and the zeitgeist. Also, although I didn’t want to quit, I’ve had to quit my last jobs because they were either actively trying to kill me or had made it clear that they wanted a worker who would work more and comment less and I was just plain not working my way around to the boss’s way of thinking, not for a pay cheque that just barely made it over minimum wage. So I wanted to see what this guy thought was what.

After I read the piece, I looked up where his remaining relatives are in Vancouver, and they’re in ritzy parts of town. I just wanted to see if this guy’s attitude was groomed by intergenerational wealth. I can’t prove anything from addresses of course, so I guess I am forced to assume that he’s like me; he had a lot of advantages from his birth family and that they are comfortably placed in terms of acquired wealth. Difference between me and Wolf is that I mention mine, ie, that I would quite literally starve in the street if my parents weren’t supporting me at the moment. (Until the moment that I ended up living at Caspell Junction, I mean, because part of my intergenerational wealth is my healthy grown family and I can’t see Katie letting me live and or starve in the street.)

First paragraph BOLD MOVE quitting your job and looking for a life companion. In that economy? Anyway, one must admire an optimist. And he’s an engineer! practical, dynamic, responsible for maintaining civilization (The Great Leslie smiles and emits a photon! ting!)

Second paragraph, okay, now I actively am on guard against you, whoever you are, cheerfully and casually admitting that you negged your future wife the first time you met her. Perhaps she didn’t get your measure, but I think men who do that are crap in a can, and I am now reading your piece with my back up and a sour expression on my generally sour puss. Oh, Providence is on yer side is it pet, get back to me when she’s divorced you. As I can guarantee she will, if she isn’t planning on it already.

Third paragraph: okay, you’re the world’s most efficient and possibly classiest mooch and user, got it. Got your friends to pay for/ arrange your wedding, nicely done! Married a woman even more frugal than you are, score! It’s hard finding someone who agrees with you on the big issues. Well done.

Fourth paragraph: what in the entire fuck, dude. I shall ditto it in its entirety, because unpacking the assumptions therein is chewing through my cycles at a ghastly rate so I need it in front of me.

When I wasn’t lifting and courting, I was building a network of intellectuals interested in problems of governance from beyond the established liberal democratic paradigm. I didn’t know why it was interesting. In fact, I thought it was a vice. “This is bad for your career,” said the little wage-slave voice in my head, “you should be focusing on more lucrative projects.”

Okay. After preening about his sociobiological fitness, he says that he’s building a network of intellectuals interested in problems of governance from beyond the established liberal democratic paradigm.

Cool. That means OF COURSE that you’re consulting with Indigenous activists, academics, and knowledge keepers and


I’m a fat old white lady living in Burnaby, and you just cannot reasonably expect anyone who cares about ‘problems in governance’ –– without dealing with land theft and the practices of the Indigenous people of this place –– and this gentleman can’t be bothered to think or write about either.

The implication is that he’s only considering the thoughts of other white men when it comes to ‘problems in governance’. I mean WHAT DO YOU THINK a white man MEANS when he says NETWORK OF INTELLECTUALS? After ten years on twitter and twenty on social media I sure’s fuck know what it means to me, but I’m, you know, dark-hearted.

Lacks prove nothing, but don’t you think this absence is a teeny tiny suspicious? I’m on guard against his continued utterances with absolutely no further magnanimity, because he’s shown enough of his true self to appear about as convincingly genuine and smart as Boris Johnson.

“I didn’t know why it was interesting.”

This looks like “My most trivial thoughts are important.”

Yeah, dude, I often have that sensation as well. Keeping a blog since 2004 has fixed me for that. My most trivial thoughts are trivial. They may become important later, if they are integrated into something more important like a song or artwork or writing, but most of what’s in my head is junk. It’s true, something can start small and get important, but this sentence that he’s written also makes me think things like, “If you don’t understand what your moral purpose is, it’s hard to connect one random thing to another in a structurally sound, clear and useful way.”

“In fact, I thought it was a vice.”

OOf. Thinking in anti-capitalist ways is a vice, got it. Or you used to think that. Okay.

“This is bad for your career,” said the little wage-slave voice in my head, “you should be focusing on more lucrative projects.”

Paul used to say things like this to me whenever I was writing. Or he’d tell me to concentrate on poetry, since it was classy or something. Until Paul apologized for the ways in which he’d blocked my songwriting – 25 years in, and obviously too late – this was the real live voice I had next to me in bed at night, so I get where Wolf (the author) is coming from here. Some sympathy. But not much.

Fifth paragraph:

It was through those networks.

Okay Wolf, just confirming that it was a coterie of white guys that helped you, since you’re not mentioning how your intellectual cheer squad is made up in any way of marginalized people. Maybe it’s jam-packed with them, but in 20fucking22 you aren’t mentioning it, so, once again, it’s the lack, lack, baby.

Then more patting himself on the back… I’m not sure he can help himself …

Me ‘n’ my friends put a show on in the barn?

Anyway, if you want a transcript of what this guy sounds like? Not saying you do, but here it is. “Growing up in BC made me an environmentalist.” LOL NO DUDE IT MADE YOU A HIKER, British Columbians have the worst record in Canada for throwing grease down their drains and environmentally degrading megaprojects. “Growing up in Canada meant I didn’t have the American political paradigm” RISIBLE Then he says he was raised Unitarian. LOL I wrote a homily called the tyranny of nice specifically for self-deluding Unitarians, so now I have an even better insight into the kind of self-calming behaviour this guy is demonstrating.

And do you not find it interesting that he considers California to be the centre of the universe and FLEES TO BC for COVID? Okay, enough of picking on this poor mecheng.

Back to the main stage:

I’ma skip ahead to the parts that made my blood run cold:

His spirited defence of Elon Musk, raised rich by racist emerald mine owners. DUDE THIS IS NOT A STEP AWAY FROM NEOLIBERALISM, this IS NEOLIBERALISM.

Fuck ya.

and then this paragraph, which drove the breath from my body with its ableism and eugenics fluffing language

Yes, even the bane of Darwin’s faith—the humble ichneumon wasp that lays its maggots inside the living bodies of caterpillars to eat them from the inside and burst out on maturity like some alien xenomorph—is a beautiful creature with a sacred task. Like many parasites, its role in the great chain of being is to test the health and defenses of its caterpillar host population. Its predation weeds out the sickly, preventing the much uglier injustice of collective weakness and disease, and spurring the evolution of stronger and even more beautiful life. Even fearsome Nemesis, born from chaos via night and darkness, is ultimately the hand of God and the minister of justice. Even the supposed exceptions to justice prove its rule.

So COVID disproportionately killing disabled people is ‘spurring the evolution of stronger and even more beautiful life’. By his logic. Absolutely disgusting, and he DOESN’T EVEN REALIZE HE’S DOING IT.

Because if you asked him how he feels about disabled people, he wouldn’t say anything of the sort, certainly not while the mic was live, but he’s okay with using metaphors that would pinch out disabled lives without a backward glance AND HE HAS NO ONE IN HIS LIFE OR EDITORIAL CIRCLE WHO WILL CATCH HIM ON IT.

I tire of these efforts, so I’ll end with this. This man, well-intentioned, well-educated, and whiter than boiled chicken thighs on rice, has NO FUCKING BUSINESS setting himself up as an expert on governance.

Any more than I do…. which is why I don’t. I have opinions, but I’m not an expert.

Please, if you’re going to be supporting ‘alternatives in thinking about governance’ give your money to the people of colour who’ve DONE THE WORK.



what a fucking arsepick

I know, I know, talking about cops like this is so stupid. There’s no opsec. Under my own name, with all the skilsaw I can muster I’m saying that A SPECIFIC COP a REAL LIVE HUMAN COP as if those words aggregate meaning in any meaningful way IS AN ARSEPICK.


y i say this


This arsepick, this noted and particular arsepick, chose to ticket A WOMAN WAITING IN LINE FOR COVID TESTING.

for operating a vehicle while using a cellphone

WHILE SHE WASN’T IN THE VEHICLE because she’d stepped out of the car.



the Barrowtown pumping station is about to fail

it’s apparently the second biggest pumping station in North America

and if it fails

surrounded as it is with 150 volunteers packing sandbags as fast as they can

Sumas Lake will reappear after 97 years

50% of the eggs and dairy for BC will be gone, possibly never to return

and collectively we will have lost one of the most critical pieces of farmland in BC history


you need a million calories a year and 5000 litres of water


anyway the mayor and chief of police in Abby have reported that the pumping station is holding but it was a near thing


so what does the American Democratic party do?








From @butchanarchy on twitter

Fish and chips for dinner

Not exactly a diabetes friendly meal but I am uncaring at the moment.

Conservatives got stomped hard in the AB election. Yay I guess.

Much laundry is being done. I have taken my Metformin and brushed my teeth, and the world seems to be flinging itself round on its axis as normal.

Update on the fucking asshole naturopath who’s endangering children. And for when the article disappears, a quote.

Bethany Lindsay · CBC News · Posted: Oct 19, 2021 4:00 AM PT

Jason Klop is fighting an order from the College of Naturopathic Physicians of B.C. to stop producing fecal microbiota transplants (FMT) at a facility in the Fraser Valley for use on autistic children at a clinic in Mexico.

He filed a petition in B.C. Supreme Court last month, alleging the college doesn’t have the power to stop him. The college has now disputed that in a legal response.

The college’s response provides new details about a complaint from a former employee that led to this action, saying the alleged whistleblower reached out in April using the pseudonym “Molly Rylene” to express her concerns.

The former employee “alleged the stool donors for the FMT materials being produced at the petitioner’s laboratory were the petitioner’s nephews who ‘bring their stool down to the basement and someone down there freeze dries it and makes it into capsules,’ ” the Oct. 12 court document reads.

“She alleged the ‘household lab’ had no quality assurance or quality control measures and there was no analysis conducted of what was contained in the FMT materials being produced.”

many ripe swears

The PPC is just about the worst political party in Canada; Maxime Bernier is a racist POS, and I can only thank my neighbours that I have NOT HAD TO LOOK AT A SINGLE PPC CANDIDATE SIGN ANYWHERE IN BURNABY SINCE THE ELECTION STARTED.


Lisa Steacy September 15 2021 News 1130

VANCOUVER (NEWS 1130) – A Vancouver People’s Party of Canada candidate has been distributing flyers comparing B.C.’s vaccine card to residential schools, and outraged Indigenous leaders are demanding accountability.

The flyer says it was “authorized by the official agent of Renate Siekmann,” who is running in Vancouver-Quadra— a riding that includes the Musqueam First Nation. The image of children outside of a residential school is overlaid with the text, “Discrimination is wrong: No vaccine passport.” In B.C., people need to show that they have received one dose of the COVID-19 vaccine in order to access non-essential businesses like restaurants, movie theatres, and gyms.

BC Assembly of First Nations (BCAFN) Regional Chief Terry Teegee says the comparison is deeply offensive, and trivializes the genocide of Indigenous people in Canada.

Maxime Bernier breakfast in head


A man hit People’s Party of Canada (PPC) Leader Maxime Bernier with an egg at a campaign event Thursday in Saskatoon – one of multiple recent incidents raising questions about campaign security.

In a video posted to Twitter, the perpetrator appears to request a photo with Bernier. As Bernier gives a thumbs up, the man smashes an egg into the back of Bernier’s head.

Richard Raycraft, September 3 2021, Politics/CBC website

On a completely different subject:

Check this out.

From the article, a new way to flip patients.

After sketching out a blueprint, Beed says he consulted the expertise of a friend with commercial-grade sewing skills. He says what started out as a few trips to a fabric store to try and find the right material, turned into a full-sized wrap that securely “cocoons” a patient before it’s attached to carabineers.

“These adjustable length straps would connect to the various side ports. And, that’s the way that we would enable movement of the patient with no effort on the part of our nursing staff,” Beed demonstrates.

He says the bonus of the Pronator Plus is that it then attaches to a patient lift, which is equipment that already exists within hospitals.

From there he says patients are able to be safely rotated onto their bellies in a controlled fashion that provides an opportunity to make adjustments if necessary.

By Alexa MacLean Global News
Posted September 5, 2021 1:52 pm

A demented pubic louse has more ethics than this buh

A B.C. Naturopath is never a way to start a sentence that will end well. Eventually this link will rot and die, so let me extract the first two paragraphs so you can have an expression of wide eyed revulsion cross your face too:

A B.C. naturopath who claims he can treat autism with fecal transplants at a clinic in Mexico has been barred from producing pills or enemas made from human feces while he’s under investigation by several agencies.

The College of Naturopathic Physicians of B.C. says it has taken “extraordinary action” against Jason Klop in response to a complaint from a whistle-blowing former employee, who alleges that he manufactured these products in a “household lab” in B.C. without standard procedures or quality control.

Ow ow wow

This is Rachel Maddow really enjoying the ruling regarding the referral for sanctions and disbarment for the 9 Trump lawyers who tried to get the Michigan presidential vote overturned and Trump restored to power. This was among the most pleasant news items I have encountered recently and it’s worth watching, for the sheer glorious untrammelled schadenfreude it will unleash in you.

later that day, around 6 pm, I add this link – Capitol Police Sue Trump

F*** around and find out!!!! I am enjoying this part.

#FreePalestine #Naqba73

Well, another Naqba – the anniversary of the day the newly hatched Israelis started booting the Palestinians off their land – has arrived. Keith and I went to the demo but we’re both pretty easy to overwhelm thanks to the pandemic so we didn’t hang around longer than it took to watch the parade go by, but there were at least 2500 people there and there were literally hundreds of flags and signs, it was super colourful and people put a lot of effort into the signs. Everyone was masked, it was kind of a condition of showing up.

We parked at Edmonds and Skytrained in, and then sprinted home again – we left when the cops started flashing lights at the end of the column, although everything I’ve read in the news indicates it stayed peaceful. You can understand how the local cops would be a bit sensitive at the moment with bodies dropping left and down the street from here.

Anyway, what the Israelis are doing is war crimes and Hamas is trying to mount a defence that is not really working. I don’t want Canada to be supporting Israel in committing genocidal acts over several generations as outlined in David Ben-Gurion’s fucking diary and I understand the nutgrinder Trudeau’s got himself in on the subject and candidly I don’t care. Not in my name.