bite me takes on new meaning

Every once in a while you see a picture so marvellous, so ringingly evocative of the human condition, that you just HAVE to share it. Pictured is a man working on Big Tex, who is part of a display for a (one would assume) Texas sized theme park.

Yesterday I went to one of these parental events that fills one with dread. In this case the Parent Teacher night was bloody marvellous, and I’ll tell you why….

A black rabbit hopped over my foot while I was talking to the Math Teacher, Dave.

I got to see a black widow spider. And to listen to the Science Teacher Tim kvetch about how he doesn’t know what to feed the babies. Thasss right, there are BABY BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS crawling around (safely stowed) in my KIDS’ SCHOOL. And nobody seems to think anything of it. Which is Even Cooler. A goth schoooool! Oi! They have a gecko, which eats the excess African stick insects, so the kids get to see nature’s way right there in science class. The gecko barks, apparently, but I didn’t hear it. Company manners you know. I got to listen to Kelly the Socials teacher say that Katie was a pleasure to have in class, and Keith’s Socials teacher say that once he put his novel down he did quite well.

So my kids are BOTH getting 70’s and 80’s in school, and doing homework assignments, and generally acting like school is if not cool then at least tolerable. If somebody had told me this was in the cards a year ago I would have been right peevish with them. Oh yeah, Katie and Keith enjoying school. Riiiiight.

Started the family reading thing again, after a year long hiatus; gave up on Dorothy Dunnett’s last work, Gemini, and am reading Phillip Pullman’s The Golden Compass instead. We have reached the end of the second chapter; Lord Asriel has escaped being poisoned and we have learned that Lyra has a great role to play in the upcoming war, but she must not know her role or she will not be able to play the part. (The whole unconscious Neo the hero thing.)

Went shopping at Army Navy yesterday. For $64 we got a two year planner, six pairs underwear (three thongs, three of the dreaded ‘granny panties’) and they’re called pairs even tho’ they are units because they have TWO LEGHOLES, I just figured that out, and a pair of knockin’ about the house trews for me, and a pair of white and baby blue runners for Kate and a hat. I am deleting the next sentence. Katie knows what I want to say; it’s quite rude, and NOT directed at her, so I’ll leave it at that. There is more than one trial in the life of a parent, and sometimes it’s not provided by one’s child, but by the prospect of watching your child restrain herself with respect to the actions of her friends.

So there you have it. Our house is an abode of bliss, I am enjoying my time off mostly because I’m doing NOTHING, and Paul is LEAVING ME THE CAR for the weekend. Yeehaw. I even got something resembling enough sleep. Off to the Parole Officer Natalie today. I hear Jim and Carly are coming for the weekend. Maybe I’ll cook a turkey. If I have a car, I’ll be able to bring one home! There’s a thought. Okay, time to post the bite me picture and get on with my day.

finally the PO

What you are about to read may shock you….but our meeting today with the Parole Officer was a warm human experience during which we all communicated reasonably well and left with a feeling of having accomplished something important.

The Crown may still elect to send Katie to court. Extrajudicial Sanctions is at the discretion of the Crown.

Katie has quit drinking, had perfect attendance at school and is actually getting good marks, is working out, going to see a counsellor (next week, likely), no longer hangs out with the kids she got in trouble with, is orders of magnitude more pleasant and responsible than she was even three months ago and recognizes perfectly well that she screwed up – all of which revealed itself during the course of the interview. So there are conditions – and I have to say Katie got off pretty lightly – but she is prepared to go to court and take her lumps if she must. It’s unclear how long the conditions apply. It helps that she doesn’t even know where this girl lives and has no intention of raising a hand to her again so the condition about staying away from her will not be a problem.

In other news, an 11 year old girl tried to kill her 34 year old babysitter with a machete that she found lying in the yard after a dispute with the babysitter about the dog. You know, you hate to blame too much tv but you have to wonder sometimes. And any householder who leaves a machete lying around the premises should be hauled in along with the kid. (Parents’ reaction upon returning home… “Sh*t, now we’ll NEVER get a sitter for the Halloween party. And I guess New Years’ is a write off too….”)

Picture is something random from the Katie files.