BANG spin crunch radio

Well, Lexi and Katie this morning have cause to be impressed by the safety design of Miatas, because they were broadsided at a combined speed of about 100 k by a drunk driver last night.

And walked away of course. The air bags deployed, the victims walk away red eyed from the air bag deployment gas, the drunk is carted off to jail. He just sat in his Echo looking straight ahead, didn’t get out to either run away or check on his victims.

Lexi’s little green Miata is a write off, but as she said, we’re fine, and that’s all that matters. She had her digital camera so we will have pictures later (if the technology kept working, there’s always that). Both of them said we will not believe the pictures when we see them, that they just crawled out of the wreckage going “Holy cow!”. And in the meantime Katie’s walking around like a little old lady and complaining of a lot of soft tissue damage. I told her she didn’t have to go to school today and she said, “What, and miss out on the attention?” or words to that effect. She has two Hollywood esque red marks on her left cheek from the air bag – you know, the kind that say “Something happened to my phys” without actually detracting in any way from her stunning gorgeousness.

Katie says, “Hey, my hair was up when I got into the car, and down when I got out. What the hell happened to my hairband?”

Lexi looked okay but thinner somehow. There are two very funny things she said that I would like to share.

One is that she just HATES it when people say “It was like in the movies” when trying to describe a really impressive kaboom; partly because she works in the business and partly because it shows a lack of imagination on the part of the person who says it. So there she is, giving a ghostly post trauma chuckle and saying, It was like something post apocalyptic in the movies! while we all giggle, because she’s pulling an impressively goofy face while she’s saying it.

The second funny thing I’ve left til last. The entire accident was witnessed by two off duty Vancouver police.

I’m never buying a car again that doesn’t have airbags.

quitting church

Part of an answer to a letter from a fellow church member….asking was it something I said.

I am seriously tempted to say yes, just to f)ck you up, but you haven’t done anything to me & your wife and kids haven’t done anything to me either.

The simple fact of the matter is that I gotta be me, and I can’t be me at church (yeah, I know that’s not the point). I thought that I’d be a better person if I got involved and did some work, but I’m a (deleted because I’d kill you if you forwarded this part) with an extremely rude sense of humour and all I did was come to the realization that I’d run out of spots on my tongue to bite. All church wants out of me is my work capacity. I’m going to get away from all you terribly serious nice people and go hang out with people who don’t get upset every time I make a joke about Michael Jackson and George Bush (because I’m not being respectful enough to them.) Yes, this really did happen to me. I nearly stomped out at that point, but at that point I really did think I wanted to be a more pacific individual and I thought she ‘was offering me a valuable life lesson’. Oh, and I nearly stomped out during the meeting at deleted last summer, and there are a number of other people who have nearly met death at my hands (note this is called EXAGGERATION FOR THE SAKE OF EFFECT), or at least the verbal abuse I am capable of when I either feel safe (my poor husband!) or when I’m pushed to the wall of niceness. I’m the one with the problem, not the church.

Oh, I know I’m going to get lots of people sniffing about how I am abandoning the church and I just didn’t get the culture here, which is one of respect and tolerance, but that’s not how I see it.

OF COURSE I SHOULD LEARN TO BE RESPECTFUL. To the people who love me most of all. But THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO KKIILLLLL ME in this culture. Am I supposed to be respectful of them? If I’m not actively trying to kill them back, that’s about as respectful as I can be. But there’s no law yet against making fun of the people who are trying to kill you, and that’s what I plan to do.

All the church did was make me long for ‘my peeps’; the people at work who sit around a campfire with me drinking beer and talking about science and relationships and useful gadgets (while the church is full of people I will never see drunk (added after I sent the email, enough to make you wish we were Catholic)) and then we sing and play and drink some more, and my family, who support me with love and nonsense and appreciation and stoic acceptance of my many sins. I’m going to go drink beer with the sinners, and help them with their events, like the time I was the MC for the newlywed game I put together for two coworkers, and we all fell about laughing. I am a committee of one. If I want to make a difference, I’m going to do it on my own terms. I’ll make biscotti and hand them out to audience members. I’ll give out gift certificates to the people in the audience who have most recently had sex. (The best part is asking them to prove it, of course… I have a whole routine worked out for that). I’ll have a prayer meeting in which I ask a bunch of atheists to ask something to fry George Bush because science teaches us that the prayers of an atheist are just as valid as those of the Dalai Lama. I’ll teach the new game Lizard Scissors Rock Paper Spock to people who can’t do the Vulcan salute. I’ll walk on stage half naked and (with difficulty) keep a straight face and after about half a minute ask “Got Milk?” Then I’ll put my top back on, saying I was distracting myself. Then I’ll spend the rest of my career telling drunks that I will NOT take my shirt off, because I’m tired of the perverts who look at my gall bladder scars instead. Yes indeed, my future is crowded with incident.

Anyway I have to go to work now. Daughter Katie is a little stiff but very happy to have soaked in the swirlpool down at Canada Games last night. I’m leaving the kids rest… it’s a PD today.