Brilliant Starbucks review

Kyle Darbyson, who writes for, has this to say about Starbucks.  I post this in fond memory of Dr. Filk, who will undoubtedly concur with every word.

Howard Schultz has built his java empire on a foundation of warm interiors, canned music and surly service from condescending and over-pierced kids.  He forgot to include good coffee.  With a flavour best described as “burnt mop water”, the Starbuck blend is bland, harsh, tart, sour and tepid all at once.

The generic interior was a study in corporate focus-group cool, with muted hues of brown and beige matching perfectly with the day old spills and crumbs that covered most surfaces.  Mix in some James Blunt and the contstant din of coffee orders more complex than driving directions in Richmond and you’ve got one of the least enjoyable coffee drinking experiences possible.

With my apologies to those I know who actually work at Starbucks…..

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Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

3 thoughts on “Brilliant Starbucks review”

  1. … and I thought it was just me. I used to ask Jim I can’t figure out why, but this coffee is horrible. I thought maybe I lacked the sophisticated taste to appreciate it.

  2. Brilliant indeed. I have never tried Starbucks coffee and am glad to know I have missed only participation in a possible iconic experience, without actually having to drink the stuff.

  3. I looked at the above sentence and attempted to parse it, which is perhaps a habit of my generation. It doesn’t parse. Sorry about that.

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