Day: August 12, 2007

Why do men report more sexual partners than women?

Men report 7 sex partners.  Women report 4.  The math does not add up; somebody is lying.

Waaaal, we lie A LOT about sex in this and all cultures, so let’s follow Darwin’s trail of bread crumbs, and see if we can get to the end before the sparrows eat the evidence….

There are studies that say women lie about their number of sex partners.  A woman has DAMNED good reasons to lie about this, too;  you will have the most sex partners while you are  fertile (on the basis of the stats…), and if you want one guy’s help  (minimum) raising offspring, you have to respect his statistically likely desire not raise other guy’s offspring UNLESS HE VOLUNTEERED.

My life is so full of examples of good step-parents of both sexes that I know the primate drive to extinguish offspring which aren’t yours (we see the results of this crap every day in the headlines and shudder) isn’t hardwired, it’s just more likely to be expressed in the presence of disinhibitors like crack n alcohol.  So the headlines tell me, and the media never lie about crime, do they?

And then there are other studies, which make the numbers so out of whack, that you have to say, Sheeeit!  Tain’t just the wimmenfolk lyin like cheap Caucasian rugs. 

After a brief pause to consider these things, I must insist on dragging my personal experience into it.  I remember driving down the road (ah, the days when I had access to a car!) and hearing some CBC dude talking to some sex expert dude on a radio show, and the end result was that it was clear that Bill Clinton and most teenagers don’t think of oral sex as being sex.  So when you’re adding things up, one might want to have a reality check on what people think they are checking off, on these surveys, when they are talking about ‘sex’.  And I know that if somebody asked me, I would be squirming and saying, well, what do you MEAN by sex?  My answer to that question is possibly not what the survey boffins were thinking about.

and, and and.

I would say that there is a chance there are some same-sex encounters hiding in the male stats.  They are supposed to be talking about women, but I’m sure that’s where some of the exaggeration, possibly a statistically significant amount, is coming from.  Although there are not very many true male bisexuals (they exist, I’ve seen them) because most of the guys who are ‘bi’ are queer and not too fussy (I’m sorry, that’s a harsh thing to say) or are straight and working through abuse issues, there are a startling number of men having sex with men and staying reeeeeal quiet about it because the social blowback from being found out gay if you’ve been playing the “We have a great marriage and three wonderful children” game is violent and permanent.

I also think that not a statistically significant number of sex trade workers is being included in the studies.

So the next time you  hear about this big gender disparity between the sexes about ‘how much sex’, remember that virtually all of the difference can be accounted for by prostitution, and there’s probably other stuff in there muddying up the data.