Month: June 2009

tap tap is this thing on?

My server has been up and down like a toilet seat all day.

If you can’t read this, that’s kinda useless.

Tanya had her babby.  Me happy, she healthy, babby good, daddy over moon.

Landpeers are showing interesting and remarkable behaviour.  More when we’re finally shut of this place.

Move Sunday.  Panic panic panic, punctuated by bouts of exhausted anxiety.

Must pack room.

I am so tired and out of sorts.  Paul has very kindly agreed to come and get me so I can take a bunch of my crap home from work, as well as the extra boxes I ordered. I will feed him dinner (precooked by Carrie, yay!).

One of the engineers said at lunch 🙁  “She’s not wearing a bra” of an another person in the caf and instantly I said, “How come you notice on HER and not ME?” which was not the right thing to say.  Or the kind or intelligent thing.   Also I found out that one of my coworkers is a free diver, which after watching the Big Blue was extremely hilarious.  He can hold his breath for 5.5 minutes.  I can hold my breath for 50 seconds.  The world record is over ten minutes.

Lady Miss B has me to tea

Except given the hellacious heat, it was beer. I left from work and hung out until around 10 – we also did some practical stuff which will make for better edits on the memorial site and I sang her my new song. I also in my severely chatty way went through yet more partial lists of stuff to do on my time off.  At this rate I’ll be so busy describing what I want to do I won’t get anything done.  And I got Judith’s email so I can start talking to her about a memorial service at Worldcon (Anticipation).  Montreal in August, god o god.

I think the trick will be getting up every morning, looking at the job list, figuring out what I FEEL like doing that day, and devoting at least four hours to it.  I’ll let you know how I make out.

Carrie has a place to live on the Island, which is great because she was running out of time to locate something and now she can concentrate on living instead of finding a place for her RV. She finished up most of the packing, and now it’s just making sure as much stuff goes in boxes as can.

I am not sleeping well.  The heat was oppressive.

Went home sick yesterday

I am really glad I did, I felt much sicker when I got home, then cried for about two hours, worked my way backward through my symptoms and realized I had a stomach migraine (yes, it’s possible) had a hot bath, immediately felt physically better although I still couldn’t stop crying, and then slept and slept and slept.

Now I’m going to go back to work and try to take Tiger Mountain of Paperwork by Strategy, and possibly science.

Carrie is doing all my packing, thank goodness, and her.

Lovely email

I sang Careless at the housefilk and Carly asked me for the tabs.  I may turn into a musician at this rate.  A lot of people love John’s songlist.

I can now sing, or sing and play When you’se a viper, Careless, That godforsaken Hellhole, Long Black Veil, 2&20 Blues, A Christmas Carol (Tom Lehrer), A Fierce Unrest (Don Marquis and Ananias Davisson),  Absolutely Bonkers (Brenda Sutton Three Weird Sisters), Acts of Creation (Cat Faber), Ain’t No Cure For Love (Leonard Cohen), Anna Marie, Cats in the Dawn (Heather Rose Jones), Clem’s Song (Just Call me Clem, Allegra Sloman), Columbus Stockade Blues (actually I got John singing that!),  Demon Java (Steve Key/David Goldfinger), Dirty Movie (Steve Sajich), Don’t Go Looking For Trouble (Steve Goodman), History is Made By Stupid People (The Arrogant Worms), Honky Tonkin’ (Hank Williams), I Can’t Get Over You… (Nate Bucklin), I Pop Pills (Nate Bucklin), I Will Not Sing Along (Actually it’s called the Anti-Singalong Song), I’ll Fly Away, I’ve Been All Around This World (and GOSH did I like Creede Lambard’s version at the housefilk), Jack Frost, Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon, Let’s Go Down to the Water (Willie P Bennett), Livejournal Shanty (Brooke Lunderville), Lost Highway (Hank Williams), Mind Your Own Business (Hank Williams), Nessie, Come Up (Dr Jane A Robinson, the singing paleontologist, who is now James as of 2004), Never Set the Cat On Fire (Frank “You Scum” Hayes), No High Ground (Leslie Fish), One Meatball, One Time Only (Tom Paxton) which I also think that I encouraged John to learn… and nautilus3 and Loki will remember it well, Paint me A picture (David Essig), Paradise (John Prine), Pornographic Pictures of Queen Victoria, Ramboing, Rastus Brown, Show Us The Length (Bob Bossin), Some Other Planet (Joe Hall), Tapioca Song (Allegra Sloman), That Godforsaken Hellhole I Call Home (Austin Lounge Lizards), The 20th Century Is Almost Over  (Steve Goodman), The Jig of the One-Celled Organisms – anon, but John and Paul taught it to me, We Didn’t Know – Tom Paxton, The Word of God (Catherine Faber), Horizontal – Original Sloth Band was who he learned it from (Ken Whitely) but no idea who wrote it.

And I keep updating the songlist, because man o man he knew a lot of tunes.

The Censorship jig (before I forget the words) edited again on June 4

As I walked the thoroughfare communing with me soul

I heard an ugly, grating voice that issued from a hole

I don’t care what I look like, so I bent down to see

It was an ugly, ugly troll who remonstrates with me.

“Your walk, your laugh, your mode of dress –

you’re going straight to hell!”  “Damn straight,” says I

“I’ll see the friends I loved in life so well”

Says I “That’s your opinion! and it has not been proved..

But I’d die for your right to say that crap

and I will not be moved.”

Chorus

So swift to say shut up, so swift to say no fair

So swift to claim the firmament with nothing but hot air

Be careful who you censor, be careful who you squelch

And slow to mar the human rights of anybody else!

 

The troll was most offended, and said I misconstrued

his words and his intent and that besides I was quite rude

I said he had a kingdom that ended at his nose

And my support of his free speech was not some moonbat pose.

I can’t expect imagination from a common troll

Nor yet appreciation – that would be something droll

But if you can’t agree with me, try something on for size

And make a proper argument and not just yell out ‘Lies!’

 

Chorus

 

The troll was even more put out, in fact he was quite pissed

and then remarked as homo sap I was quite prejudiced

When troll boy came out with this tosh I laughed most heartily

And said “I read SF and think – it’s all the same to me!

I’ve no right to deny you rights, so kindly think it out

With the gift of speech you also get the benefit of doubt

As long as we are talking, we may be hopeful still

So let’s go get something to drink, and put it on my bill.

Don’t be so fast to shut me up or tell me I’m not fair

I’m really not that bad a sort It’s not like I don’t care

Be careful who you censor, be careful who you squelch

Be slow to mar the human rights of anybody else

 

And now there is a coda

The flourish at the end

Harsh words will make you enemies

and very rarely friends

But when I speak of censorship

I know too well the cost

For if you have to censor me….

you have already lost.

singing and playing

I know some people are feeling more blue after the memorial service, but I feel so much better it’s remarkable.  I’m doing all kinds of things I’m supposed to do.

I played, sang and listened at Jericho Beach Folk last night – John would have approved – and I drank in the scenery and loved the people I was with.

Tonight, Carrie, Jeff and I are off to Mike’s for dinner.  Happy……

The world continues to be what it is

Carrie made dinner last night.  Jeff and I “Om nom nom”. We’re hoping to head to Jericho Beach tonight, but we shall see.  It is usually SO much fun.  So I want to go….

Things are settling back into the new old normal.  Packing continues apace but I haven’t done any yet!  (Carrie sets a brutally high standard for energy level, and always has).  Paul came over last night bearing beer and strawberry cream pie and the four of us watched Ascent in the Criterion collection.  The camera work and acting are nothing short of spectacular, but it’s a Russian movie so they all die in the end.  (Now Jeff is going to thump me one, but none of you are ever going to watch it so I’m okay with that… Jeff’s attitude towards spoilers is a fierce and uncompromising one.)  The truck is rented for Sunday. I am happier, but when certain thoughts or songs cross my mind (like Jack Frost, frinstance) I start crying again. Only now it doesn’t hurt so much.

More and less

Yesterday I took it very easy in the morning and went to Wreck Beach in the afternoon.  I am still having trouble believing that I did those stairs two days running, but it wasn’t that bad – down was worse, of course.  Mike and Heather and Heather’s roommate and Jarmo and Susanna were there as well.  Keith joined us and spent most of the time there either reading or walkng around.

Mike said that John’s death was a kick in the head.  John said ‘practice more’ so I did, and so did Mike.  Mike even played Stairway to Heaven, which you’ll have to admit was brave of him. I really love that Larrivee parlor guitar he got.  It’s a very sweet sounding and playing instrument.