amusing anecdote

I heard a delightful story from Rob W this week during which he recounted how he chose to wear a kilt to a knee exam (the practical sort, obviously). Later that day he attended a Religious Education meeting (during which people apparently said nice things about me…  which was pleasant to learn) and found to his amusement that he was the only one there wearing a skirt.  Smashing the patriarchy can be a subtle proposition sometimes.

 

Chuck Wendig on Men’s Rights Activists… “a great deal of misspellings and dogshit grammar and the reading comprehension of an aging, mule-kicked spider monkey.”

 

bwa ha ha

hullo, goodbye

They got me a YODA GOING AWAY CARD.  They really got me.  It’s so frickin sad, but somehow so awesome too.

There was a bagpiper on the Fraser right next to the office.

Jeff loaned me MR2, so I had a good ride in and will get home to BEER quickly.

 

Everybody be good and play nice!

Shhh, thinking.

Cognitive Bias illustrations.

How big is the solar system???

Came home from work yesterday, almost crying on the bus, overwhelmed by feelings of failure.  I should just suck it up.  I was looking at all of the other workers.  I’m one of about three white women on the bus.  Daily on the ride home I see exhausted men of every background in conspicuity vests, students and travellers coming back from the airport; drawn looking women from all over Asia speaking a dozen different languages as they (from the sounds of it) talk to their sisters or argue with their kids or check in with their husbands.  Most people play on their phones or listen to music.  I jerk back and forth, back and forth, my spine sliding first this way and that, and get off the bus sometimes barely able to step down, my back hurts so much.

Today I’ll be alone downstairs; the boss is working from home and if the phones decide to explode (the way you do when you can’t afford to spend a single minute on the phone) I’ll be hard pressed.  At least there’s leftover takeout in the fridge. And a stellar bunch of coworkers; they are darling and intelligent and it’s really been a privilege.  And that’s a factor in what makes me a leedle weepy, too.

I’m in town for the weekend (I’d better be, I’m doing coffee at church on Sunday) and then I’ll be off to Victoria with Katie as walk ons the first of the week.

Nothing feels right.  George calls to me, pats me with his social tentacle, and I’m too tired to focus to write; all I can do is BLORT this out in a parody of creativity.

 

 

Failure is always an option

I am wishing that this week was over.  My coworkers really like me and are talking about a special healthy foods going away afternoon tea on Friday.  Why?  Honestly, the most pleasant and hardworking and intelligent women I’ve worked with in ages (at least since Patricia and I quit hanging at the big X), and I can’t deal with the blessed commute because I’m such a little flower.  I had a seat this morning and it was still absolutely ghastly, got off the bus aching and stiff.

I made oven roasted potatoes for Jeff this morning.  I was supposed to do it last night and couldn’t get my shit together after I got home from work.  Met up with Katie last night and we hung very briefly.  I am hoping to get a copy of the ultrasound soon.  She and Suzanne both think it’s a boy.

I have so many thotz in my head…..

Unremarkable remarks

I went to the memorial service of Shirley, the caretaker for SOAP hall, yesterday, and it was a remarkable service in many ways.

I have never been to a memorial service where someone’s contributions to society as a worker have been made so much of.  Yet there was no mention made of class.  I have never been to a memorial service which completely left Jebus out of it, and yet yielded to sentimental comments about meeting again in heaven. Bagpipes attended, with Amazing Grace.  Local dignitaries attended her funeral – the acting Mayor of New Westminster, among others.  The Hall she lived in and worked at for almost 20 years hosted and fed her mourners for free; I learned that Steve Shearer wrote a song inspired by the hall and a conversation with Shirley called “The Old Folks Memorial Hall”, which I won’t comment on because of a certain little animated bunny.

I thank Sue, who is among the best and most adroit of women, for giving me a lift.

I am sorry Shirley has left this world.  Her friends and family are a good bunch of folks.

Now to see about heading back to the hall for church this morning after – I hope – the chance to get Jeff out for breakfast.

6 more days

Spamalot was absolutely wonderful, and Marylke a delight as a companion for the theatre.  She’d never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail so she came new to all the wonderful gags. Then I came home and saw something that you will see too if you google Morgan Freeman Helium.  B’lieve me, it’s worth it.

I’m underslept and it’s a crappy day out there, but I have one week and one more day of work and it’s starting out a good day here in dried fruit and pasteurized nut land.

Rounding up

Marylke’s taking me to Spamalot tonight!  Woot!

The slow leaking death of the commentariat. Metafilter founder has some comments.

I won’t believe it until the cat is sleeping on the results.  Washerless clean clothes.

Wanna know the current position of the ISS?

According to the Ubisoft What’s Your Hacker Name meme going ’round the internet, my pOp’s hacker name is M4ster Zero, and mind is Sh4dow Root.

Jeff loaned me the car yestterday, and I feel much better today!

The tiramisu I bought from Balkan House Restaurant yesterday was freezer burned, then thawed and left at a nasty temperature, and then re-refrigerated.  It took about 45 minutes for the taste to get out of my mouth but I guess it had so many preservatives in it that it couldn’t sustain microbial life.  Jeff, don’t eat it.  I should go throw it out.

I ran into a pest control specialist yesterday who told me to abandon all previously purchased music programs and get this instead.  I don’t feel like spending a thousand dollars on something that won’t likely run on either of the computers I currently own, but it sure would be nice to be able to sing into a computer and have notation spit out the other end.

A crazy ass seagull banged its bill repeatedly into the front door at work.  Scariest sound I’ve heard in a while.  In more pleasant news there are many geese families right out front of work right now but you can’t get too close because the parents will assault you.

Interviews for my replacement have commenced; the good candidates all want too much money.  I don’t imagine they’ll get somebody like me any time soon for the price.  And that’s the last I’ll complain on the subject, and I’m not naming names.

 

Last gasp

This next two weeks is going to be very challenging.  Tina being gone means I’m doing a lot of order entry and phone answering; next week the office manager is gone and I haven’t been trained on a lot of her activities, so I suspect I’ll be very busy and very off balance.

However, there are only 8 more work days to live through, and I can do it.

 

 

My scariest aliens

1.  The alien from Alien.  I wrote a one sentence movie review for this film “Do not watch this film unless it is with someone whose profile you admire.”

2. The aliens from Pitch Black.  Those things scare the crap out of me.

3. Everything from Dead Space, the video game.  BRRRR. I don’t know how Jeff can play it.

4. He’s not really an alien but the holey man from First Man Into Space scared the PISS out of me when I was a kid.

5. The Martians from Mars Attacks.

 

 

Yesterday I ran errands and made pulled pork.  Today, church and laundry and a get together with the landlady.

goodbye

Today I say goodbye to a wonderful coworker; she resigned shortly before I did.  I am about to design a farewell card but I only have about half an hour to unleash my creativity before I have to leave.

Went to a crochet meetup last night. It was pleasant, but I need individualized instruction.

There’s other stuff going on in the background as usual but none of it is fit for a public forum.

ScaryClown got an award for outstanding employee contribution handed to him by somebody who didn’t know he’d just resigned.  BWA HA HA,  runs out of air, BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

New victims

Poor Margot. We’ve locked the cat door and Keith and Paul let her out last night not knowing she wasn’t going to get back in again until I got up around 5:30 (a good night’s sleep).

I have discovered that I am a lot more sentimental than I thought.  Keith got me a Mother’s Day card, which would have been sufficient, but also a gift card.  I burst into tears.  It’s just so nice to be loved.

Then we exposed them to Rick and Morty. NEW VICTIMS.

I am full of plans about what I’ll do when I’m off work again.  I do feel a lot more confident about the job hunt; I was doing things wrong and I admit that now, so it will go better.  I have a lovely new resume which should help, and I’ll be tailoring it a lot more.  It’s true, the bots looking through resumes don’t give a shit about me, and the po faced mental midgets who sort through them after the bots have done their jobs can’t assemble a sentence without turning into bleating morons.  However, it’s a game, it has rules, and I can’t win if I don’t play by the rules.  The rest of this paragraph has been erased on the strenuous and plaintive request of counsel.

On my list of things to do is a concert at Wreck Beach.  Don’t feel bad if you’re not invited.

Theology at the movies… homily from today

 

I have a confession to make.  I love the movies. I read about them, I watch them, I critique them – I even had a bunch of movie reviews published in the early eighties. I’m not as obsessive as some, but I’m a good deal more obsessive than most.  I jumped at the chance to speak about theology at the movies. But then, I realized with a sinking heart, I would have to reveal the great love, verging on mania, that I have for the art form; digital or analog, rotoscoped or all one continuous take, animated or live action or CGI.  I love movies for their pounding soundtracks and their wistful lietmotifs; the energetic and subtle performances of human chameleons; the polish and precision of the planning, technology and execution of a really great shot; the behind the scenes dramas, tempestuous romances and epic legal battles; the way you can watch a really great movie twenty times and appreciate it more with each viewing; the way trashy movies from your childhood can cheer you up in no time; the way a movie that is an all ages cross cultural hit can make everyone feel, however temporarily, like we are all members of the same family.

As Willa Cather remarked in a novel, There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before.  There are a lot of lists of plot types, but to me there are only three.  Human vs. Human, human vs. Self, human vs. Elements. There are story traditions without conflict; the Japanese in particular have perfected ways of making movies in which there’s no struggle, just life and all of its pains, pleasures and changes; they get called art films because ‘nothing happens’.

Every time I hear somebody complain about the repetitiveness of modern movies, I have to laugh.  Recycling plots and characters has been a feature of plays and entertainments for 2500 years.   While a conformity of explosions and cleavage has taken over big budget movies, let us be thankful for the improvements in affordable cinema technology, which have allowed people like actor/writer/director/composer Shane Carruth to bring his visions to the screen with his science fiction movies Primer and Upstream Color.  The drop in cost has allowed poor people and marginalized people to record and document and publicize their lives as Kimberley Rivers Roberts did in the documentary about Katrina called Trouble the Water.  It has allowed us to bring our imaginings to bear on photographs of the deep sea and the forest canopies and the vastness of outer space, and tell new stories with new energy, a firmer grasp of what it is to be human, and less concern with commercial success.  It is now possible to make a movie – a good movie, an interesting movie – for less than it costs to buy a new car.

My love of the movies comes from my parents.  When I was little, my parents had 16 millimeter silent films; Chaplin and Keystone Cops and Laurel and Hardy; they had a sound projector too, so I watched the Weavers sing their songs, including an incredibly young and slender Pete Seeger.  I associated watching films with family bonding time.

These days I ask two things from movies; one is “Can you take me somewhere I haven’t been before?” so that I am removed from my normal concerns and brought into a world I could not have imagined.

This demand for novelty isn’t just ‘show me something new’, but “I wish to be told a compelling story by a confident and competent storyteller.  Take me out of my comfort zone.  Put me in a situation I would never find myself in, and walk with me and the characters.  Avoid the cliches and the tropes and the bad habits of modern filmmaking; no explosions today, thanks.”

The other thing I ask is the very simple, “Tell me your truth.”  If I am to fully live my values, I hope to spend more time asking myself how a particular film is going to bring more compassion, wisdom, or self-knowledge into my life.  In documentaries, I want accuracy and accountability; in fiction I want a story that can be told no other way.  For films which seek to uplift, a clear call to action is part of the experience.

Which is funny, because movies make you sit in one place for a couple of hours.

It’s after the movie is over that the magic really starts.  A good movie makes memories; memories of sitting around the coffee shop after the show and arguing about what the point of the movie was with your friends.  A good movie becomes part of your artistic vocabulary, part of the catchphrases and in jokes of your family.  A good movie is made by people who understand that it’s going to have an effect on your nervous system and they won’t make you pull out your handkerchief without a good reason. A good movie makes you think and feel and stretches you a little, shows you your mental quirks and cognitive biases – and loves you anyway.

How should we watch a movie?  I want to be experiential, not prescriptive.  Nobody wants to watch Old Yeller the week their dog dies, and nobody wants to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding when they were jilted at the altar.  I really don’t want to tell you what to do; but I do want you to think about your movie watching habits.  Mine have changed quite a bit in the last five years; I watch many more documentaries, and I’m trying to watch movies that have unstuck themselves from the gender norms and racial profiling that pursued us out of the twentieth century and into the twenty-first.

What to do?

One is to stop watching any movie if you think it is a waste of time.  Turn it off.  I frequently stop watching movies that I think are bunk, that are gory or sexist or trite or racist or boring.  I’ve even walked out of movies I paid for.  If we have but one wild and precious life, let’s not watch crappy movies.

Another challenge is to think of a movie not as a piece of entertainment, but as a commentary on our culture.

 What is it REALLY saying?  About gender roles, about love, about violence, about authority, about the ages and stages of the characters?

Whose voices are being heard, and whose voices are on the cutting room floor?

Whose interests are being served by the assumptions that underly the plot and characters?

 What shape is your own humanity in at the end of the film?

Some of you may already know about the Bechdel test, which was invented by Alison Bechdel as part of her amazing comic series Dykes to Watch Out For.  In it, a character says that in order for her to feel comfortable about watching a movie, there have to be at least two named female characters, and they have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around the needs of the leading man.  There are an amazing number of movies which don’t meet this simple feminist test (including a lot of movies I like) but that will just give you an idea of how there can be theological implications in your movie choices.  If you believe in equal rights for women, why not show it at the box office?

One of my theological tests is that I immediately want to stop watching movies which show fathers as stupid, lazy or incapable of appropriately interacting with their own children.  My father wasn’t like that.  My husband wasn’t like that.  If there are fathers in the congregation like that you’ve done a good job of hiding it.  Why spend money to support an outdated and morally bankrupt view of men?  It isn’t funny!

Trust your instincts.  You may not be able to put your finger on or put into words why you find a movie disturbing, or overly commercial, or ugly in some way; but I guarantee that if somehow you object to the moral tone of a movie, you won’t hurt anybody if you refrain from finishing it.  Even if you paid for the movie… hey, maybe you can get your money back.  And if you’re at home, even more reason not to.

Spend your movie dollars differently.  If you have $12 in your pocket for a ‘movie experience’ you might want to consider using that money to fund a documentarian or minority film-maker working on challenging subject matter.  You’ll have to wait longer for your movie, but you’ll be living your values in a different way.

There are a remarkable number of Unitarian congregations who run movie nights on social justice themes, and have really great discussions after the movie to consolidate what’s been learned and felt.  We could do that.  We could rate movies on our facebook pages with a seven star system, one star for each of our principles, letting other Unitarians know when movies meet basic requirements.

Whenever you watch movies, be the part of the audience that stays mindful.  Resist the urge to have some sentimental popcorn and turn off your brain.  When something offends you, respectfully engage with the producers, directors and studio – leave the actors alone, since in most cases they didn’t finance it.  And when something is good, and respects all persons and the world we live in, don’t forget to share it with your friends!

I will let Willa Cather have the last word, since it sums up my fierce obsession with the movies.  “There is no God but one God and Art is his revealer; that’s my creed and I’ll follow it to the end, to a hotter place than Pittsburgh if need be.”

and now for some out and about

Paddy’s wake was conducted in a hobbit hole (the basement suite of her daughter Steph’s house in East Van, memorialized so many times on this blog in happier times) and it snowed food and rained drink, in keeping with the theme.

I sang The Housewife’s Lament very creditably although I did just about lose it halfway through when I thought of how John used to sing it along with me.  Paul still can but it’s not the same.  There was a ukelele jam, led by a woman who would AND THIS PART I TOOK OUT, BECAUSE, HEY, INAPPROPRIATE  but I knew that sooner or later the non musical people would wish to turn the floor over to the anecdotes. And so it was.  There was no weeping; there was love and mutual support.  Kindly fate, grant that my rellies have something similar when I go.

She was much loved, she will be much missed, and if I can bring more of her love for children and social justice into my weary life, I will be a better woman.  It was glorious to see Steph, even under these trying circumstances. Mike took some of Paddy’s ashes; he will dispense them by kite over Buntzen Lake, and a more appropriate farewell I can’t imagine.  Mike is very saddened by her going.

I am off to New West to spend money on mundanities like batteries for the smoke detectors.  I may just have myself a lamb lunch.

Jeff and I are experiencing some of the benefits of clean living; our rent has not gone up for the second year in a row.  We are getting A STEAL and good landlords to boot.