Day: January 4, 2020

Settlers and white people have to move, restore, repair. My shame and contrition in publicly admitting my special bubble of being white in Canada is a sweet breeze compared to the hot sting of daily outbursts of racism by other white women and they *won’t do the work.* It’s SO ANNOYING and it’s me five years ago and so I can’t make with the angry too hard. WHAT IS THE CORRECT MINDSET between balancing ‘recent convert’ status and trying to yoink intelligent people into having a look at their basic assumptions using only the choicest arguments under the best circumstances.

You have to be done with all that householder stuff before you can think on spiritual stuff and whether or not you’ve done that changes your point of view. Katie is upset with how slow her spiritual going is and sheesh kabobbers kid you’re raising someone, it’s time consuming because hey capitalism. Also you spend way more time cleaning up after your sibling and father than you should.

Maybe I will see the boy tomorrow.

In the meantime, Katie and I got out of the house and had breakfast and did a mini shop.

 

what an unlikely critter

 

I’m not crazy about this rainy windy weather. Poked around editing yesterday, wrote maybe 20 new words. I keep expecting a lift in my spirits so I can get back to writing and the news ruins it. I thought the wind had dropped but it’s gusting hard.

At this time, right now, I want to shelve Honey on the Moon. I understand what’s wrong with the book, but I can’t fix it until certain conditions are in place, which aren’t. And I can’t talk about it here, because it isn’t the appropriate venue, and for love and money I can’t find the right one.

FML.

aw well nobody expects a creative life to be particularly easy.

 

scanged off reddit

 

 

noted later, as in, in December 2020…. I had to get a cultural competence reader and deal with my racism in practical terms – when I’ve worked through that I’ll probably get going again…. we shall see