Author: Allegra

Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

not a good day and it’s only just gone 7

(Clarification… my day got better, managed to come back from being a newt)

Yesterday wasn’t great but I got some stuff done, and today just feels like it’s started off on the wrong foot. Also the night before I got confused about whether I’d taken my bp meds or not. I think I probably did but worrying about it didn’t help.

I want to go to the library. That’s what set me off crying this morning. I want to go to the library and I can’t. I should probably be crying about not being able to hug Alex, or really anybody, but I’m pretty numb from being touch starved. I’m really happy that at least my kids are living with people who can hug them if they ask for it.

I am going to have some coffee and try to connect with people today…. I don’t feel lonely, but I do feel kind of shaky and needy.

healthcare workers in Harrisburg PA – CAN’T FIND CREDIT NOTICE

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later…..

AAAAAND we left the house and got social distancing timmy ho’s and I had coffee and cream here already so we saved the money and we’re about to go blow our brains on ep 4 of the new Bosch season WHICH AS ALWAYS is fantastic. I ADORE TITUS WELLIVER, to me as Bosch he embodies much that is admirable in a contemporary man. (Great episode, AND I CALLED IT FIRST JEFFnose what I’m talm’bout)

and someone found a wind blowing at 200000 times the speed of an earthly hurricane, so whoosh to you too

 

and

in two months and a week we may have peas. I have finally planted something. Moar later (day sign card ACE OF PENTACLES literally the planting things card)

for the following link… content warning, plenty of references to shit but this made me howl. The fact that he has an accent MAKES IT FUNNIER

EVEN WHEN YOU SEE IT COMING.

 

Nothing but beauty today

Australia by watersheds. IS IT NOT GLORIOUS? also truncated, I can’t find a nicer copy, but so purty.

AND NOW, my THIRSTIEST pic AND mah gOB what a frame, what a frame

Yes, this is TV actor and activist Misha Collins, and he posted the pic so I’m assuming that he was okay with the earth being knocked slightly off its orbit as half a million screeching fangirls (and a fair few fanboys) collapsed to the ground like Victoria maidens.

He was in foreign climes building a school or some such damned thing like the humble gorgeous angelic creature he is, thus the rustic bathing facilities.

Love his Instagram posts, he’s consistently artsy, compassionate, funny and just a little bit wacky.

Katie and Alex, 2015

I watched the most recent Emma and cried like a you know what at the end of it. Bill Nighy’s ensembles looked like they were going to achieve sentience and start cavorting about on their own.

Today’s astropix KICKS ASS. I won’t post the link because there won’t be one until tomorrow but you are in for a full on space science eyegasm.

I looked up four words this morning and I did not know their meanings – normally I’m just confirming, but this morning was a disaster. I’m thinking I need to look up a lot of words I think I awready know. Self-assessment is beautiful.

 

 

whine

I haven’t even moved half the dirt yet, but I did move some, and the tremendously amazing Tom L has loaned me what looks like Andre the Giant’s wheelbarrow so the rest will go faster. So more work in the hot sun yum.

The following gem was scanged from Jamelle Bouie’s twitter this am.

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ammonite septum

(Madagascaran Argonauticeras besairei)

Lucky me

Well, I don’t know what happened, but all the memorably sub-optimal and entirely my ownership horse puckey that’s happened over the last ten years has turned into me being a lucky sod.

I have water power heat netflix and wifi. I’m not living alone, and I’m not living with a bunch of people who all leave the house every day. I have enough food, musical instruments and projects to keep me through this pandemic and the next one too.

I had a bunch of bad luck that forced me into a situation where I hardly ever leave the house, and then everybody else is in it too and I think, well, I really feel sorry for the extroverts, because this is HELL, SHEER HELL M’DEAR

I suppose five sf novels and a hijjus tonne of fanfic and at least thirty tunes, (I mean I wrote all my stargate stuff in the last ten years, and that’s five feckin’ tunes, right there) is nothing to sneeze at for all my previous isolation. I keep forgetting that all the way through no matter which mental health crises I was having, I placidly continued to practice, purchase new instruments and bang into new ways of singing and hearing and forming songs.

If I think of what else I’ve done that’s worthwhile, I can relax, because inevitably I can travel back through the blog and remember that I indeed, erm, did, erm, shit that was worthwhile. Much of the time I’m dreadfully self-serving, but defending my artistic capacity is not a job anyone can do, ’cause ain’t no other mofo got time for that shit, candidly, and I’m the one of the few people motivated, which given my innate slothican tendencies and my immense distractibility creates its own issues with all that ludicrous reality interface stuff that we all just watched dissolve.

So travel, a few family visits, back to Toronto twice, not as many visits as I should, but I have to be in decent shape to travel, and air travel’s gone, and believe me that’s an issue more and more; we must look to local mutual aid, which means

Mentally and physically I have to be there, and it’s harder and harder to put together, because I’m simply not as sharp as I used to be; just as clever, spread out thinner, and blunter, alas, and dead slow, like a shadow dawdling in a cartoon to mime looking at something of interest elsewhere before perforce being dragged back into real time with everyone else. Iceland was my farewell to that and I’m glad I went there and I hope never to trouble its ecosystem again.

I just have this horrible presentiment that someone ran off with my dirt in the night. Isn’t that irrational? I mean my window faces the alley…. I’m dying here, it would have made so much noise. I’m not getting dressed just because I’m a feckin’ worry wart.

Didn’t leave the house again yesterday so I’ll mail Dave’s package today. I’ll mail mOm and pOp’s when I’ve finished policing up the threads. The glue on the stamps is still gluey, but the taste, after how many years, is bad enough to make you temporarily hallucinate that your tongue is doing a backflip away from your face.

mask making

I assembled all of my materials for mask making; I made nose pieces for 7 masks out of available materials; I ironed the fabric; I ceased operations because I realized I literally do not have the coping capacity to wind a frickin’ bobbin. Heavy sigh. Tomorrow morning I promise it will start again.

I washed and folded hand towels today and made coffee.

I worked on a tune and read fanfic.