- If you call in a robbery in progress, and the robbers have automatic weapons, and you hang around to watch, you will be LUCKY if you only get what’s coming to you. (44 minutes).
- If you are cool, your life has a banging soundtrack. If you are not, the soundtrack of your life is your neighbour’s dog, Viagra come-ons and shills for feminine protection. (all of them)
- You can kill a guy with a carrot, more than once, although you’ll need a new carrot. (Shootemup)
- You can kill multiple guys while having sex without making the baby cry or breaking your girl’s concentration (Shootemup).
- Princesses are grumpy (all of them). If she’s not grumpy she’s probably not a princess.
- People will do really whacked out things to get home (Wizard of Oz, Eric the Viking, ET).
- Horses don’t need food, guns reload themselves, nobody needs to take a dump at an awkward time and somebody’s always got a map. (all of them)
- The obesity epidemic isn’t happening. (all of them)
- There are no atheists. Everybody’s always thanking god, seeing a priest or minister, or going to weddings, funerals and christenings. (all of them)
- I learned to feel sorry for people who aren’t getting money for the product placements in their kitchens. (pretty much all of them),
- The walls pull away so you can get a better shot. (all of them)
- Natalie Portman, in addition to being able to act, looks fabulous with her clothes off (Darjeeling Limited).
- George Lucas should goddamned well retire. (and I need to prove my point because???)
- The Wachowskis only had one good movie in them because they STOLE the idea for the first one.
- The Wilhelm scream was by Sheb Woolley, and once you know about it, you hear it all the time.
- Video games don’t make good movies; they are just an extreme case of product placement.
- There are movies that nobody has seen that everybody refers to.
- Remakes should all have a generic title “The beancounter, the asswipe screenplay, the washed up actor and the witless director”.
- Steadicam oners are da bomb.
- Script first, direction second, editing third, lighting fourth, actors fifth, catering sixth.
- Whoever’s editing action movies these days needs remedial help. (Notice how bad the fight scene editing was for Dark Knight? It sucked hair off a mop).
- Vancouver City Hall is screwing up the local industry by being chuckleheads.
- Not a single movie has been made in the last thirty years that realistically depicted the use of firearms.
- Being a science fiction movie fan is a lot like Waiting for Godot.
- The ratings system is hopelessly fouled up, and the creeps responsible for it should be bastinadoed with licorice while listening to “It’s a Small World after All”.
- It chapped Spike Jones’ ass that the most money he ever made was on Inside Man. Mind you, it’s the best American caper film in years.
- Acting doesn’t run in families. Doing what your folks did for a living runs in families.
- Milton Berle had an enormous penis. I actually know this because I was working in a hotel he was staying at and he kept answering the room service knock with no trousers on and a big stogie in his face.
- Computers are simple to break into and all operating systems are easy-peasy and graphical. (Where do I start? The Net, the Matrix, Jurassic Park, Untraceable, and on and bloody on….)
- Your phone only rings when that chunk of dialogue is complete. (All police procedurals)
- You always have your phone ready to hand.
- Bad guys have lousy teeth. (All of them).
- There’s a picture of Johnny Depp in an attic somewhere. (It’s not just his bone structure, folks).
- Not all actors are gay, but that’s the way to bet. (This is a joke…. based on repeated and increasingly truncated conversations with Jeff).
- Set decoration is an art form and I salute its practitioners. (I’m thinking of True Blood).
- Heroes drive convertibles (this is actually a family saying, but I thought I’d throw it in.)
- If there’s been a movie that realistically depicted aircraft in the last 100 years, I’d sure like to hear about it.
- Virtually every actor I admire has a serious, serious work ethic. Screwoffs burn out or drop dead.
- I loathe continuity errors, and I’ve been catching them since I was ten.
- It’s just as hard to make a frothy comedy as a serious drama, but you don’t get praised for doing it well.
- The risk free life is not worth living. I would rather have a good bunch of people give me two thirds of a good movie trying to do something unusual than the usual gang of idiots playing it safe.
- I wish Charles Laughton had directed more movies. (Night of the Hunter was his only one).
- If the people who made SF movies spent more money on the scripts I would be happier.
- I really don’t like horror films – even psychological ones like The Haunting – and I only watch zombie movies as a concession to my brother. I realize my inability to stomach violence is a serious personal flaw, but there ya go.
- I am prepared to forgive a movie all kinds of lapses if it’s stylish.
- Graphic sex is not nearly as disturbing as graphic violence.
- Henry and June was HOT.
- Watching people smoke cigarettes is a drag, especially if they don’t smoke and they are faking it (Keira Knightley in Domino, William Petersen in Manhunter).
- When I want to watch a movie again, it’s almost always because of the nature and quality of the human relationships in it, not because it was visually stunning or had cool special effects.
- I really like long takes.
- I really like eating takes.
- Most of the time, the critics are wrong. When they aren’t wrong, they’ve still missed something.
- Anybody can walk into your hospital room, get hold of a doctor, get hold of a nurse, and have plenty of room to stand around and chat.
- It’s easy to be in the same room as a corpse.
- Your closest relatives can die and it doesn’t completely f*ck you up for months afterwards – you just keep on working and doing whatever you were doing.
- Work is just an excuse to hang out with your friends (why not, works for me).
- Men like to kiss way more than they let on in real life. Women- at least usually.
- Food happens instantly in restaurants.
Category: Film
Quote from IMDB
Jeff thinks the reviews on IMDB stink. I plead guilty to plebeian tastes. Get this quote, which is kinda a quote of a quote:
David Mamet once explained the difference between art and entertainment. Entertainment, he said, reinforces what you already know, and tells you that you’re right. Art, on the other hand, suggests that what you know is wrong, and that your beliefs might not be correct.
Anyway, the quote is from a review of To Live and Die in LA which I now have to watch, because William Petersen in his mid thirties is yummers.
William Petersen
Of course he’s well known as the ‘about to resign’ Gil Grissom in CSI, but he was also Will Graham in Michael Mann’s Manhunter long about 20 years ago. Imagine Gil Grissom but young, thin and hawter than the hubs of Hades, folks. I just saw the Director’s Cut of Manhunter. Re Mr. Petersen..
1. He’s bowlegged! Who knew? He certainly doesn’t get shot so you can see his bowlegs in CSI.
2. He’s had that steely intensity with the curiously wiggly smile and body jiggle forever.
3. He comes across as cerebral and sensitive. OOOOO. Fangirl squawking inserted here.
4. Joan Allen and Kim Griest are SO good.
5. Brian Cox is TOTALLY AWESOME as Hannibal Lecter.
Guess I liked the movie.
Jeff and Keith are sidebysiding on Left 4 Dead. This makes me laugh my ass off, because the ad for Left 4 Dead was ALL over the Metro in Paris.
Social comment
ScaryClown, Who Does Not Want to Go to America tomorrow, came over and we had beers and a documentary blowout. The first movie was entitled Fuck and the second was Lenny Bruce Without Tears. The former is about the origins and culture war over that most useful word, and the second was a nice segue because of course Lenny was key to the first movie. The sound quality of the second movie was quite lousy – somebody should go through the soundtrack and digitally enhance it.
Halfway through the festivities my google calendar made my phone go off and reminded me that I could go naked bowling tomorrow. Yes, I know it sounds like I’m making it up, but I’m not. ScaryClown and Jeff were all full of comments like “Why the f;c& would you want to do that?” and “That’s just wrong on so many levels” (& I’m sure that on the basis of previous posts it will be obvious who said what.) There’s no challenge in upsetting those boys. Then we get to the end of the Lenny Bruce documentary and I said, “I’d hit that,” and once again the boys were disgusted. No challenge, no challenge at all. And if Zombie Lenny Bruce came back I’d STILL hit it. So there.
City of Lost Children
The movie doesn’t make a great deal of sense, and there’s about ten minutes during which not a lot happens, but I recommend it because:
It’s not a horror film, but the parts that are scary are shudder inducingly creepy; it’s not a comedy but I screamed with laughter three times – and I’ve seen comedies that didn’t made me smile, let alone rock with laughter;
The visuals are INCREDIBLE. No, I mean it. The movie is more than 10 years old and it KICKS THE ASS of many films currently being made, despite the improvements in technology.
Ron Perlman is AMAZING.
There are subtexts and concepts in it that would make it impossible to make now in the US;
Despite the slow bit, I was never bored, and it gave me all I demand of a movie and more.
It was made with taxpayer money (French taxpayers, but they got their money’s worth, believe me.)
It is THE BEST STEAMPUNK movie EVER MADE. Did I mention the visuals?
Highly, highly recommended.
Today, in anticipation of funds, I got all high on consumerism
And bought a phone, because it was PISSING ME OFF, yes, I think in a week I will still feel that vehement, that I couldn’t get hold of my son when it was mutually convenient. The next time Keith arrives I will present him with it – I already called him to tell him. I also bought beer. I thought of taking a cab home, and then my conscience stabbed me and I took the bus.
Then I got home and there was a check for $6K and a night out waiting for me. And Katie, dreamingly expecting to get fed. So out with the leftover pork and sauerkraut (life, she is so hard) and yet more tater tots and homemade cheese sauce with steamed cauliflower. and the leftover mushrooms. Note how little in the way of dessert I’ve been mentioning.
Katie left (of course!) and Jeff and I watched the Ken Burns documentary on the Brooklyn Bridge.
It’s raining like mad out there, in fitful, cranky bursts, with long lulls, like a teething child that you’re just putting to sleep.
I hope that you are someplace snug and warm right now.
In passing
Unca Dave is expected here this afternoon.
Scarlett Johannson got married – in Canada no less – & Paul Newman died.
I light a candle for Cindy, who said, “You amuse me,” on the phone last night in a tone of voice completely free of sarcasm, when I explained something to her about the way my mind works. (I was also being the world’s largest wuss, but she was okay with that too.) We discussed how she and a bunch of other fans got into Bridge Studios the day Atlantis died and she has pics of herself standing in the gate. Happy swoon. I’ve been in Bridge Studios, back in ’05. Given what’s happened since, some of the comments I made in October 05 are pretty funny. (Like, the comment about how Katie loves to fix hair???)
I also get to think about what I’m going to say at the panel on Friday night. Yes, I’m going to a con, Vcon to be precise, and I’m going to be on a media filk panel. Should I tell them that my secret to writing media filk is to go to the internet, download every scripted reference to the character and then find likely rhymes? Seems kinda mechanical, but that’s how I wrote Clem, full title Just Call me Clem. (Clem being a demon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer).
For breakfast – BLTs. I don’t know why, except we had all the ingredaments in the house at one time. For dinner – roast beast with veg. Why? It’s Sunday, and a family elder is coming by. There’s chicken soup on the stove and I’m thinking of making refrigerator cookies.
Watched Starter for 10. It’s a very good hearted movie, and if you love 80’s Britpop/late new wave you’ll drool on the soundtrack. The movie is well shot, well-scripted and laugh out loud funny in spots. Also, Dominic Cooper is bloody gorgeous.. and he’s in Keira Knightley’s new movie the Duchess, which makes me want to see it more.
My watch working again is making me happy. Being registered to vote makes me happy (I had completely dropped off the rolls, which is perplexing). And now, I’m going to practice my mandolin, do some paperwork, pay some bills, laundrify, and get another song written down…. and see if we can get to the end of season five of NCIS. Yes, we’ve been watching rather a lot of it, and I’m really liking Michael Weatherly’s take on DiNozzo more and more. He kinda grows on you.
It’s a beautiful day…. Mike was going to take me to the Wreck, as it’s supposed to be beachy today, but Unca Dave is coming. I am in a really good mood. I assume it’s the weather, nothing else has changed.
What’s with Toronto this summer? + added politics, movies
I saw Thin Red Line last night, it being one of the lifetime list movies. I really liked it; it sure was paced in a strange way. Parts of it moved so fast that it was hard to maintain some understanding of the action, and parts were so slow that I felt like I was moving into glacier time. The casting was great and I can see why Jim Caviezel’s performance made Mel Gibson think of him for Jesus six years later for the Passion of the Christ.
It was so nice having Keith here last night. On the way out the door he told a joke that had me laughing so hard I cried. Keith can do that do me. I responded with, “Did you notice how McCain said Fight with me the other night in his speech? I know he meant fight WITH me but when I read the headline I thought, Jeez, John, I may be a dumpy fifty year old woman with a bad back, but I’m going to kick the snot out of yaz. By your invitation even.
I liked this commentary on the Republican National Convention.
Yippeeeee! David Emerson is NOT running for office again here in this riding. Excuse me while I’m thrilled; now I have to figure who to vote for to keep Harper’s Conservatives out. Not a fan so far; the war drums, the social conservatism and the expletive insanity about DRM – which, may inertia be thanked, will died on the order table ‘fore the election – the smarmy letter I got in response to my complaint about the peacetime initiative to allow American troops on Canadian soilunder special circumstances’ = or whenever the Canadian government feels like asking them – oh yeah, not thrilled with the Conservatives. That another political party would piss me off as bad in different ways is par for the course, and what a depressing prospect, etc.
Woo hoo! Jerome/Shannon are getting married today! I think I have to bring a chair. It’s happening outdoors rain or shine, so I wonder if I’m getting wet this afternoon.
No sign of Katie. I just texted her. It’s annoying but I suppose that’s an improvement, it used to be scary.
Nid de guepes
Saw the movie on Jeff’s recommendation, with Keith and Jeff, and LOVed it. Great great action film about an endlessly resourceful group of human beings. Also fed the boys dinner, barbq pork chomps and corn and tater tots (man, if there’s a whiter meal it’s hard to imagine what it would be). Also watched Jeff’s character in Assassin’s Creed assault a beggar woman by rhythmically hip checking her into a building alcove (the sound effects alone had the three of us practically in tears). Also kicked around in discussion some story ideas Keith has been having.
pleasant evening….
Naughty, naughty mOm
She’s gone off to the wilds, the wilds I say, of Saskatchewan (although whether she’s off to be a Saskatchewan River Pirate remains to be seen) and in the time she’s been gone she’s neither phoned, nor emailed, nor in any matter indicated that she’s still in the land of the living. pOp and I attribute this to a number of possibilities….
She forgot her own telephone number. Hey, it happens.
She’s being held in an undisclosed location so that a bunch of well-meaning rellies can convert her to Christianity. Hint. Good luck, Chuck! That’s one die hard mother of an atheist ya got there.
She’s just damned busy and has no internet access.
She’s killed her travelling companion in an attempt to get a little peace and quiet and is working on a suitable body disposal method. Ontie Mary rocks the free world with her memory and her sense of humour, but the Energizer Bunny hides in terror from her mouth. I say this as someone who occasionally makes with the pressured speech herself. Okay, that is the polite way of describing it… I’m a motormouth, are you happy now?
She figures we’re all bloody grownups and we’ll hear about her travels soon enough.
Jeff is continuing to spit blood and yard trimmings over the computer he’s doing up for mOm (it’s not that bad, but it IS a Windows machine).
I had total flow with customer interactions on the phone today. No nasties, all pleasant and/or funny and/or appreciative of me taking the time to answer the questions properly. After the weekend, and that SIX count em SIX escalation calls day last week, I figured I deserved it. I even threatened to kiss one guy when he said, point blank, “So is this marketing speak or what?” about one of the single most pernicious uh, LIES, LIES okay… did I make that clear enough??? that the Marketing wonks ever passed off on an increasingly weary and skeptical public, and I said, “Yup, that’s what it are; a more reasonable expectation of the product’s behaviour, life expectancy and usefulness to your application is….x”. And he thanked me. He thanked me a lot. Okay I just remembered, I got off the phone after one call and said “I tremble for my country when I reflect that we have Newfies,” and SalmonMan snickered over in his IT corner. But the Newfie wasn’t evil, he was just not clear on the concept of a warranty period.
Mike has been phoning me and taunting me to convert my options and sell out. I’m lazy, I’ll wait for the deal to close. He lectures me about opportunity costs, blah blah blah. This time he phoned from Wreck Beach, the bastard; I could practically smell the suntan oil and stray whiffs of reefer and there’s me on my way home from work thinking I should have just taken a mental health day and gone with him. I’ll get him, dagnabit. He keeps leaving massage oil here, maybe I’ll grease up the kitchen floor without telling him.
I just found out who one of my lurkers is, via email. He says he loves my blog. Hint… he loves musicals. All the best people do, you know. It’s a canonical law, in my universe. Why I even had a dream one time, recounted in this blog, that included a giant insectoid alien singing in a musical. He was having a gas pretending to be a railroad man in a musical set in the nineteen thirties. Johnny Depp was in it, too. Can’t go wrong with a twist like that.
It was really weird having garlic bread tonight and nobody to share it with.
I have seen all of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog
I pronounce myself ‘amused’ but I would have to say that I am more “bemused” than ‘amused’. Joss Whedon LOVES killing characters. As the fans say “Joss Whedon, you BASTARD!”
Nathan Fillion as Captain Hammer takes smug self-satisfaction to cringeworthy new heights. Anyway, if you want to see it, you have to google it and watch it today, because they’re taking it down. They put all the good music in the first 2 episodes, just so’s ya know.
I walked around the house saying happy thoughts happy thoughts and my migraine resolved, just like that. The next two sentences deleted on account of cowardice.
The Transporter
Not much to report except I am reacting to some pollen currently in the air. I just get real tired and want to shut my eyes, and then when I wake up they’re stuck shut. Keith and Jeff and I watched Transporter last night. Jason Statham has the kind of bod to make a gay guy drum his foot on the ground and howl and a straight gal to skip thoughts of dinner and drinks and head straight for the procreative activities. The movie was fun enough.
Right side up
I guess, apart from the Ongoing Irritations, of which I blog so consistently, my life is pretty good right now. I’m working on three choons simultaneously, including one which started with Paul saying, “I have this nice chord progression – see if you can keep up!” which was not at all what happened in real life but gets to the point swiftly and it sure got me doing things with the mandolin I’ve never done before. Musically, thanks.
There was also an incredible amount of watching family videos this weekend. One entire dvd – like 90 minutes – is Katie running around in a diaper (a cloth diaper held together with Snibbs, I note cheerfully) followed with the all seeing eye of her adoring grandpa, who lenses her beating up computers, playing ‘incredible baby monster’ which was a game she and Keith used to play, being thrown around like six big beanbags sewn together by yours truly, being cuddled by two different adoring grandmas, and in general being active and in a good mood. At the very end of the tape she gets stuffed into a snowsuit and stands there like a Barbie pink version of the Michelin Tire Man. I look like I’m having a good time, too, which is pleasant. Then there is the before and after video of the plane crash we were in when I was pregnant with Katie. Erk. There’s a beautiful landing on Lake Weslemkoon, and then grainy, dark video, illuminated by the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles, trying to recover the aircraft and get Buttonville Airport open again. I came as close to dying that night – that I know of – as I ever did so far. I’d forgotten there was video. That was sobering.
I spent about six fruitless hours trying to get the dvds onto my hard drive in a format I can edit. I know it’s possible, but with my combo of software, native wit and input from Jeff, it still didn’t work, so my idear of getting a friend some pix from the old days is not working – I’ll have to copy the entire thing. I also commented on a detective novel I was given a couple of weeks ago. That took about a six hour chunk out of my weekend too – I was busy… really busy this weekend. I was so busy that when I literally thought Saturday was Sunday when I was talking to Jeff …. he looked at me Like I Am Crazy, which is a fairly common occurence around here.
I did four loads of laundry AND put it away. I made banana chocolate hazelnut muffins, and they are SO fine. I saw Wall-E with Jeff, Paul and the kids. We ate Thai afterwards. We had no trouble finding parking (I really like the 5th Ave). I had a good weekend.
Oh… I suppose I should review Wall-E. Please see it on the big screen if you can. It’s a great piece of family entertainment. It starts out with the single most brilliant cartoon I’ve ever seen (I’m going to have to watch it about a hundred times to get all the timing and set up) about a magician named Presto Digitatione and his wascally wabbit. I laughed SO HARD watching this that I was entirely astounded. If I tell you that, knowing what I know, I’d pay the same amount of money to see Presto again that I paid to get into Wall-E, would you run out and see both movies? Believe the hype. I didn’t even know about Presto before I went to see Wall-E. It will take you to that magic space you inhabited the first time you watched What’s Opera Doc or Duck Amuck. And it does it all without a word of dialogue. Man, does Pixar know animation!
Wall-E has plot holes the size of a garage, but you and anybody you go with won’t care. It’s a lovely movie
Coffee’s ready… time to really get a start on the day.
One thing and another (Battlestar, Victoria round up)
Here’s a report, forwarded by Robof9.
G. E. Productions Inc. is filming on campus, portions of the movie“ Battlestar Galactica “.Film Set Preps, Shoot and Wrap-up / Clean-up Day;
7:00AM to 11:30PM, Wednesday, July 2, 2008Film Set Preps, Shoot and Support function locations:
1) Academic Quadrangle – Courtyard and Reflecting Pond area.
– AQ rooms 4120, 4125, 4140, SSB 92002) Parking – SH, Lot E(East portion)
– S SH N side of fire lane to bus loop
– Lot G (lower East portion)
– Studio II (East grass area)
– ASB E. lane (East side)– Set areas will be dressed prior to filming by early morning.
– Set props, vehicles & equipments positioned where designated, shall be cleared out as soon as film shoot activities are completed.
– Between 9-10pm Wednesday July 2, ‘08, all filming activities completed. All vehicles, equipments & props removed, film shoot site cleaned-up and wrapped out of campus.
I saw a man on a bike with a parrot on his shoulder in Victoria.
I have a migraine (no surprise, all the sun I got this weekend plus really inconvenient amounts of hormones).
I got up really early and ate pea pods in my mOm’s garden yesterday morning. Om nom nom.
I had a really really amazing weekend.
Keith started early
He was supposed to start today but they started him yesterday. I hope for a full report at some point.
Watched The Big Red One yesterday. The firefight scenes are great but everything else suffers in comparison to Band of Brothers… especially the music, holy crap it was bad.
I made purple food yesterday – purple home fried potatoes. I’m having some more now, damn they’re good!