Good morning morning

I am alternately fizzing and chortling and weepin’ and wailin, so EMOTIONAL LABILITY is the text du jour.

Jan Maxwell’s package arrived and I may now announce to the world that I have a book about art, anarchists and explosions; THE SCREAM BY EDVARD MUNCH ***socks*** (Jeff got the other pair), a large original pride flag, a Star Wars doodle book, a carven penis keychain (Jeff declined but since I’ve been thinking about the amazing generative power of dicks lately I’m fine with it). Plus a letter and postcard and a yellow “Reading is Sexy” pin, which Jeff got.
 
In the continued spirit of giving I today delivered biscotti unto the needy (that would be Peggy, who fell on the first cookie like she hadn’t had a meal in two days in a most gratifying explosion of crunches and crumbs) and puppy-faced at the Lundervilla (this last a dig at Joe, who freaking Poured It On when he Found the Bag no seriously his puppy face could stop planetary rotation) and pounded down two cups of tea while inhaling church and family news and sharing my own.
 
Then to Caspell Junction, wherein I beheld my quondam husband and our very much in the present son who was cheerful over his passport arriving. I further beheld Suzanne who was returning the car Keith had loaned her, which means that Keith can now drive his pop to the States to visit Janice and housemate Hank. Since I wasn’t required to drive Paul anywhere I made my way home and fell on the Jan package and the croissant Jeff brought home after his work visit this morning. I came home floating on a pleasant cloud of most desirable and informative social interactions. (Except for some, and I have to thank Keith for standing up for me in all that, no more details on offer.)
Because it’s preferable to thinking about how today Keith and I are sitting down with Paul to talk about Powers of Attorney and care instructions because we’re getting to the point. That point. A point I do not want to get to. But it’s very very definitely in view.  Okay scratch that, full family meeting on Saturday instead; Katie is going to be there.

still haven’t left the house LOL

Making biscotti and chicken stir fry yesterday put paid to my mobility ambitions. I will get going today, I promise. Cleaned out the kitchen compost bins and hoooeeee did they need it. Anyway I’m having tea and chicken stir fry for breakfast, because damn it was good. I’ve been watching a Chinese lady cook on facebook videos and she really inspired me.

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Found out there’s a samosa factory on Beresford…. I intend to visit there today too. Hopefully Paul will be in the mood for errands.

Absolutely dreading the family meeting on Friday. However, if Paul reacts poorly, he won’t get asked in future; stuff has to happen whether he’s composed enough to take part or not.

 

 

I’m reviewing myself

First biscotti I’ve baked in many many long months are ready. Time to head out to deliver them. Or not. I’m feeling sessile, again again. As soon as I stopped baking them the stove threw an F1 error so I guess the stove has quit (it’s either a control board or a door sensor.)

Got an hour into Babylon (2022) and realized I literally could not sit through it in a theatre; my viewing habits are so fussy I’m thinking it should have been a mini series so you didn’t get more than an hour of it at a time. Margot Robbie is, as always, eye-popping. I learned from her wikipedia article that she extemporaneously slapped Leo DiCaprio as part of her audition for ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ and I AM SO HERE FOR THAT FACTOID. Anyhoo…

I committed many voracious re-reads of (the almost totally fictional, thoroughly and salaciously scandalous and culturally influential Kenneth Anger book) ‘Hollywood Babylon’ as a youngster, so I know ‘how this story ends’ (please see my song “Slimfast and Methadone” for my reaction to this story line which I wrote almost fifteen years ago); and I can’t *feel* anything about it that the moviemakers might intend; not a good way to watch a movie. Knowing the source material too well is cloying; we’ve known young good-looking people are just meatpuppets for the rich for HOW LONG? NOW?

This is now the fourth or fifth full length movie I haven’t been able to finish in the last month. I blame the pandemic. It’s me. I know it. Is Babylon technically deft and scathingly funny? Yeah, very much so. I’m just a lump of melted down critique rn. So my review is of me. Allegra is having a little moment of wondering when I stopped being able to sit through a two hour film. In my defence, ‘Babylon’ (2022) is three hours long. Apart from more inclusion of Black, Asian and gay characters, the novelty of wretched excess in the service of entertainment for the masses has kinda worn off for me. So it’s not really a review, like I said, and it’s very very funny in spots. I just…. can’t. I’m tired of this story.

I think I need to get back to work on my own stories. I spend a lot of time thinking about Totally Boned. The whole point of it is two broken people find each other and start healing, and since neither of them are conventionally attractive men, it’s not something that would ever get adapted as a script or screenplay.  (Plus in my universe if you kill someone, even to protect loved ones, you don’t get to Jack Ryan your way out of it thinking that ‘they had it coming.’ Two mothers are now grieving dead sons, even if they were total assholes, they probably got mom flowers.) Brad and Omar would both get ‘glowups’. Remember the white man laughing at the warthogs getting frisky and the Black man who was acting as his guide remonstrating with him, “They are beautiful to each other.” That doesn’t fly in visual media….

RIP Tom Verlaine

He passed a couple of days ago.

I once went into a record store in Toronto not knowing who he was but I’d heard him at Dave’s place and I was asking if they knew who sang a song with the lyrics, “Tonight the air has teeth,” and right now I’m listening to “Breaking in My Heart,” and weeping helplessly because I know.

I called Mike yesterday. He wasn’t able to drop by and did not want a visit, but we checked in and all our peeps are safe.

Another near miss (asteroid.)

 

Keith dropped by with beef stew

It is excellent, had some for lunch. I sent him on his way with a cheese bun and a cookie Jeff had picked up when he went out briefly in the morning for work.

Dinner was pork chomps, taters and frozen veg heated thoroughly. The chop was fantastic. The last one I put nothing on, this one had a lightly applied dusting of Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, garlic powder and ground basil, all smushed in the mortar and pestle Keith gave me which I use several times a week to release flavours on aromatics and also get the salt grains smaller. The leftover chop (they were so big Jeff and I split one) will go into a chopped salad.

I have had my coffee, done the wordle (4 tries), done my Lumosity (one top five score), put the dishwasher back in its place after running it last night, and now I contemplate a day of in part most probably doing something with Paul. I think it’s a bit nippy for a walk but Paul almost certainly won’t think so, so I should dress warmly I guess.

Chilly screencap from ventusky.com of polar air

Furnace continues to work, thanks be to the manufacturer.

No progress on writing.

 

quiet day

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I was quite tired and slept a good part of the day and then another good sleep at night. My sleep cycle right now is …. weird but hey I’m warm enough at night and this little room is cold.

Wordle in 4 this morning.  Three whole kudos from AO3 this morning – those numbers have really dropped because I’ve locked the account down to registered users only so casual readers can’t see my stories any more.

Desperately seeking coffee. Oh, shit, that means I have to –you know– get up and make it.

errands

Suzanne was here, enshinening happened. Keith has loaned her his car while she’s down a vehicle after her ice storm crash. I arranged bridge financing for her next car while Icy Beasty dithers around with her replacement car cheque, but what the blithering hell can I do, if she doesn’t have a vehicle she can’t work and she can’t walk or bus here with her cleaning equipment and it would completely mess up Katie, who would probably have to take another half hour out of her day to go fetch her for the 7:30 to 4:00 shift she works M-W. Yes, there are cabs, but if the driver’s a jerk it doesn’t work for anyone. I’ve at least seen her new used vehicle, which is quite nice and has everything she wants. (She needs a vehicle big enough for road trip packing as well as for the cleaning gear.)

Got to hold Ryker for two minutes day before yesterday. He made strange with me almost the entire time but he’d just woken up and he obviously is way more familiar with Grammy Suzanne than me. It’s getting to the point that Paul is no longer safe to be in a home with a toddler, since he keeps leaving the kitchen chairs right up next to the kitchen island, and Ryker can now scale ANYTHING in about four microts. Picture him climbing the island, pulling a knife out of the block and then falling on it for what that could end up looking like. Yeah, I kind of blacked out there for a second. He’s covered in tiny bumps and bruises, and he falls and gets up without bothering to cry quite a bit these days. And he RUNS LIKE THE WIND. He’s an acrobat. Suzanne and I talked about maybe me taking him to ‘tumbling tots’ and we’ll run it by Katie.

Got the mats into the washer before Suzanne got here. So weird seeing her pull up in Keith’s green Echo.

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Finally got the pin fixed on my credit card, hopefully that will fix any other problems associated with it.

My nut order arrived and I have roasted the first batch of almonds for biscotti.

I had a good night of sleep but perhaps a little brief. Now to wait for Jeff to get up. I wanna make home fries for second breakfast, I already ate first breakfast, which is leftovers from yesterday. OH THOSE SWOSSAGES FROM THE FORESHORE RESTAURANT NOM NOM NOM

Various things

Took Paul out and got him lunch. We walked in Fraser Foreshore (he could have gone longer than me, but had to pee up a tree on the way back) and I fed some birdies, although they didn’t come to my hand.

He expressed that he feels overwhelmed during the weekly family phone call and would probably do better one on one. We can’t confuse our own convenience with what Paul wants.

I did not do a load of laundry nor did I do the expenses, but I ran the dishwasher, made a light supper for Jeff (I was not hungry for the rest of the day after that late lunch), ran a very restorative bath and washed my hair.

Between now and the end of the month it will be very cold at night. If you have the cycles please spare a prayer for the furnace.

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calm and foggy

So much hooting from the foghorns yesterday.

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I actually changed and made my bed yesterday. Slept like a dog on a sofa, thanks. Also started taking vitamin D again. I can feel cobwebs coming off my brain, weird feeling.

Ate nothing but leftovers yesterday, it was awesome. TOO MUCH SALT don’t care.

I have three whole tasks in front of me today.  The first is getting Paul out of his apartment (I plan to just show up and run away with him, we’ll figure out about walkies and a meal afterward), the second is updating my portion of the household expenses, and the third is putting away my laundry. Can I do it? will I be overcome with Edward Gorey scale bouts of ennui? I think so, yes. Bonus, printing out medical requisition.

Now off to do battle with Lumosity and see how my brain do.

Thinking about Dave today; apparently the weather in Toronto is vile, so I’m glad he doesn’t normally have to go anywhere.

Peaceful

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Keith asked to be on Jeff’s Minecraft server.

Weather overcast and cold.

One of the things I’m having the most problems with as I get older is that over the course of my life my energy has come in waves. Now the tide’s gone out and I have no idea when it’s coming back in. In order to spare myself I often told myself that I am perfectly capable but I need the right combo of mood and energy level to git ‘er done and now…. nope. So now I have to schedule things I don’t enjoy doing and grind, and that’s totally unsuited to my previous way of doing things, and my temperament.

I have a big ugly list and I need to get going on it.

a little list

  1. Pork chops of superlative tenderness achieved. Last two were fossilized so it made a nice change. Roasted potatoes and Brussels sprouts dressed with sesame oil to go with.
  2. Three whole loads of laundry. Not put away of course but I’ll make an attempt.
  3. We’re going to get a buttload of cold weather. I’m hoping the furnace makes it.
  4. Brief call with Katie; she’s managing.
  5. Janice did not come this weekend.
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  7. Twitter is continuing to make circling the void/drain/black hole noises.