Am I most of the way through a full bore meltdown?

Check.  I’m being very relaxed and restrained about my mental meltdown, but I just lost my cell phone, and that’s about as crazy as I like to get.  Losing things is what agitated, preoccupied and outright loony people do; I misplace things relatively frequently but outright lose them, no.

I find it entertaining to review what I’ve lost in my life, like the watch my grandparents had given me LESS THAN 24 HOURS PREVIOUSLY …. I took if off in a restroom in the Dorval Airport to wash my hands, back when I was, like, ten years old and left it there.  Oh, I shed many a bitter tear over that loss, I’ll tell ya.  I lost the first guitar I was given when I foolishly gave it to Daxus.  I guess I wasn’t expecting him to smash it.  I’m still kinda irritated with him about that; it’s like there’s no percentage in forgiving him if it turns me into a sap the next time. I guess it’s a XXXXsight harder to live my Unitarian Universalist principles than I thought.

Did you know that Unitarianism was almost a STATE RELIGION in part of Europe?  Trust Unitarians to get excited over the Edict of Turda.  Couldn’t they have named it after anything else but what sounds like Turd’s twin sister’s name?  I’m sure it means “Land of Stunning Trannies” in Hungarian or Romanian but it does, as the saying goes, sound like shit in English.  Then a Catholic came back on the throne and Unitarianism gotsked itself persemacuted.  That old timey stuffed looked ZIP like contemporary Unitarianism except that durned tolerance thing we’re so notably noted for.  North American Unitarians adopt 2nd and 3rd world Unitarian churches because they are so cute and old fashioned, and in the case of the Transylvanian churches SERVICES ARE SEGREGATED BY SEX which is just like, freaky, and I’ve only seen that in real life in a Russian Orthodox Church and an Ahmadi mosque so that’s kind of a triple whammy on the freaky for me.  I only go into these ‘other peoples” sanctuaries once in a lifetime and yet it reminds me of the old fashioned Unitarian churches in Transylvania (actually northern Romania, out Kobatfalva way). Not that I’ve ever been there, but I know people who’ve gone.  There’s video of kids driving critters down the main drag.  And the services. For me it’s all about the singing, those mournful Hungarian tunes.  I much prefer the livelier contemporary hymns for myself on an ongoing basis, especially anything which sounds like the attenuated and timid version of Gospel singing as performed by U*Us.

Google, entertainingly, knows where Kobatfalva is on the map, but is unable to provide enough of a close up to demonstrate there’s even a cowpath where the arrow is pointing, and it and the surrounding countryside is made up of rocky vertiginous hills split by rivers which in spring can swell in no time to floods that come right through town. You have to live in the valley bottom cause it’s the only place you have a fond hope of growing food and raising most critters.

Of course, to loop elliptically back to my opening comments; of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Special thanks to Jeff for dinner, it was yummy.

Ashokan Farewell and who let the bear out

Cousin Gerald, because he appears to have MIND READING on his resume, sent me the MP3 of Jay Ungar’s version of Ashokan Farewell, which is from the soundtrack of the Civil War documentary I’ve been watching.

I publicly express my weeping gratitude!  It’s also meaningful to me because the folks at Jericho Beach Folk Club play it for every ingathering, so it’s already familiar to me.

Chipper THANKS for this… Who let the bear out? Adventures in animal release…..

ADDED LATER

I just learned that Ashokan Farewell was written by Jay Ungar, who played it on the soundtrack, so it’s one of those ‘contemporary trad’ tunes, like the kind Dr. Filk likes so much.

Lee’s army is surrounded on three sides by Union troops

Surrender is inevitable.  Heavy sigh.  Such a gallant army.  Such an inglorious cause.

Anyway, I should drag myself away from the Rebel defeat long enough to comment on chicken breasts, curried rice and salad for dinner last night (v mild curry, due to Katie really not being a big fan).  Jeff’s doing the trash.  It’s all very domestic and boring, and frankly, that’s the way I likes it.  Katie left about 7:30 last night to parts unknown, but she had all her school crap with her and she’s supposed to text me when she’s on her way to school.  I’m not too worried; it would hardly help if I was.

I am now facing the prospect of doing scratch recordings of all the songs I have selected for inclusion in the musical, with some horror.  But it must be done….

Hymn Sing

So we made with the churchy ballads at Tom and Peggy’s last night, and it was wonderful fun.  Paul and Keith had come over earlier to have a low key birthday celebration for Paul; we watched The Bucket List and I made tortillas.  Then I made pork fried rice for Jeff so he’d have some dinner, and I made lentil soup to take to the hymn sing.  Keith came along too… I nearly lost my eyes when I saw him eating lentil soup.  He really is pushing the envelope on food these days, which makes me extremely happy.

Katie is here, boiling up eggs and making a healthy lunch.

It’s bizarre to be watching the Civil War documentary at the same time as following the American election.  I feel like a whole bunch of people need to be reminded that it was a Republican president who issued the Emancipation proclamation.  Democrats are talking about Republicans as if they are brain dead traitors, and Republicans are talking about black people as if the Civil War had never happened.  It’s disgusting.  It has nothing to do with the glory of the Constitution.  Oh my neighbours, a house divided… will you never learn?

I am really glad I’m Canadian, and I learned how to seethe gently without taking up arms.

I did all my laundry this weekend, and put it all away, and cleaned my room.  It’s completely changed the acoustics in there.

On the highway, going fast….

And then this vehicle zips on past.

I especially like the sound effect of whoever’s holding the camera.  It is a sound of astonishment and wonder.  Scanged from Fark.

We are working our way through Ken Burn’s The Civil War.  I think Shelby Foote (who was court martialed for stealing a jeep during WWII to visit his gf, and never saw active service) was absolutely right when he said that without an understanding of the Civil War, an understanding of the American character is hardly possible.

No music

Mr. Music has a family member in hospital and so we have re-skedded our music meeting for next Friday.  In the meantime, I have a lot of cleaning and laundry to do, so I’m going to get at it.

Patricia’s off in San Francisco, I hope she’s having a good time.

Sudden conviction

I woke up this morning with a sudden, and as is usually the case with me, irrational, conviction. The thoughts that are now blowing through my mind fly in the face of anything resembling sense, or self-interest; but I am not a rational creature at the best of times and many times in my life I’ve done what appeared to be stupid things only to find out later that it was my stupidity – or stubbornness – that got me to the good place I didn’t know I was going.

Perhaps I’ve been infected by the irrationality of the Civil War; Jeff and I watched the first episode of Ken Burns’ documentary on the Civil War last night (Patricia’s been encouraging me to watch it for years).  It occurs to me that I’ve been playing it safe for quite a while and I need to shake things up a little.  I’m going to think about it over the weekend.  Maybe I’ll think better of it.  Maybe I won’t.

I rearranged my mandolin lesson – my teacher forgave me, which was decent of her. There are many things about middle aged women I like; the forgiveness of the inevitable mental lapses, as my hormones wreak havoc on my intellect, is definitely one of them.

Sad / amused / touched / and life goes on

Forgot about my mando lesson and wandered off and ate dinner at Paul and Keith’s instead.  In my defense, I’m stressed and not managing my pain very well.

To help myself relax, I watched this:  Cat vs. Printer.

Then I watched this, sent from my Ontie Jackie.

Then I told everybody on my facebook list that I don’t load applications.  Nunh unh.

Then I made breakfast for my brother.  Life goes on.

Dreams / work / musical

I’m only posting this to make Debbie pout, but last night I dreamed I was in a hot tub with Michael Weatherly and three other guys.  I was naked, everybody else was wearing trunks.  (damn… or something).  And what were we DOING in the hot tub, minds without shame wish to know?  Waiting for Obama.  Yup. I wish I was making this up, but I was waiting for Obama.  Also there was a bit of byplay about Michael Weatherly swimming with dolphins, and he said they had noses like a policeman’s truncheon.  No subtext there, move along!

When we got out of the hot tub, (Obama being a no-show) we realized we were in a Bavarian village, and somebody was trying to get married on a balcony (I saw my old boss François as a groomsman) at the same time there was a movie being filmed about Hitler, and the crew wanted to use the balcony at the same time as the wedding party, and I got out of Bavaria before there was a total riot. Note how all my major concerns of late are shoved into one untidy dream.  Woke up smiling, even if I didn’t get to see Michael Weatherly naked.

Worked late last night.  It’s boring as hell, what I was trying to do, but I tried to do it a week ago and all my scans disappeared, and then I tried to do it yesterday, and that part of the network went offline just as I was trying to complete it, so I stayed for an hour and got it done. The guys in IT are screechingly busy these days what with moves and upgrades but they are still unfailingly helpful and polite, so here’s a blessing on the lot of them.  I will miss them…. after the move I won’t be sitting close to them anymore.  Sigh.

I’m seriously grieving about my job change. It’s LUDICROUS.  I’ve done nothing but complain about it for the best part of ten years, but now I’m realizing I secretly loved it and was just whining for attention.  This makes me feel like an ijjut.  We grow too soon oldt und too late schmardt.

The LHC did not trigger the end of the world; I slept fine last night, as my dreams could attest.

Katie’s here contemplating what to raid the fridge for at lunch.  It’s so cute.  Especially now that I know she’s sharing her lunch every day with women who forget to eat. (Women who forget to eat…. didn’t Rita Rudner have a brilliant line to do with that??)

I’m seeing Mr. Music on Friday and we’re going to run through the tunes; he’s planning on feeding me.  Any guy who has a vault for a pantry HAS to be able to cook; I await the prospect with happiness.  The work too.

Last night I asked Paul, mOm, Mr. Music and Katie ‘what makes a great musical’.  Paul said “The tunes and how it’s put together,” Mr. Music said, “Song, story, presentation,” mOm said, “Singing and dancing!” and Katie said “Pacing and variety”.  I’m going to keep asking people what they think, but I’m using Mr. Music’s useful and terse guidelines for practicality’s sake.

I light a candle for the swift recovery of my former boss Owen’s son Ryan, who’s recently out of surgery.  On a less compassionate note, here’s a little squib for the swift arrival of the plumber; we’ve been waiting for a couple of days.  It’s okay, it merely confirms Jeff and I in our belief that we’d be better served in a different location.  Our own.