9 Wands; ready to go another round, for the next lot of bad news.
10 Pentacles; but scared to offend my family, particularly my paterfamilias and Paul.
The Chariot; my future is a series of demands to balance the conscious and unconscious, and the almost warlike and masculine energy required to do it. Motion forward is implied. Note the crescent moons, one smiling, one scowling, on his shoulders. The masks of the theatre – Pamela was a theatre designer, and many of the Rider Waite tarot cards look like backdrops painted in miniature.
The Hanged Man. I have made a sacrifice in order to come to a greater understanding. I have lost something… I have lost an image of myself which was to my mind desirable, but in the end false. I have recognized my loss.
The four of Pentacles; the man who can’t grip and can’t let go…. but he’s in my past. I’ve decided to let go of something to grab something else.
The four of Wands. Celebration; success.
With some trepidation, I turned over the next card. Knight of Swords. Forward motion. Being inconsiderate of others in the pursuit of his ends. Intelligent but callous. Well, I’ve been described that way more times than I can count; I own the card. I am that way; something softer would have been odd.
The Lovers! Ha! The reconciliation of opposites; the Divine Union that gives birth to the world. How others see me? I burst out laughing. But my home life and my life with Paul is much better, and will be better still. The recognition of sexuality. And the serpent of wisdom / temptation.
The seven of Pentacles. My hopes and fears. I fear to look at what I want to accomplish. I long to revel in what I’ve accomplished. But the warning is, don’t pause too long or too often. It’s a work card, a warning to stay in balance with the work.
Heart beating like a drum, I turned over the last card. The High Priestess. O. The moon is on her crown and at her feet, inconstant moon, and echoing the Chariot. She is reminding me that the path I have chosen is still a sacred path, still a spiritual path. I forget her at my peril.