wandering around town….

Poked my head into the New West library to pick up the next two books in the Aubrey/Maturin series; purchased soy sauce (how is it I haven’t purchased it earlier???) and other comestibles including items which will make the young’uns happy, also beer, also picked up a Georgia Straight and a very satisfactory haircut both in terms of the gossip quotient and the results; also satisfactory in that the first words out of Shelene’s mouth were “Girl, you’ve lost a ton of weight,” which of course made me crack up.  I’m thinking I should cruise down to the office and weigh myself, I can’t trust the scale I’ve got here….  Now all I have to do is piles of laundry and wait for 7 o’clock to roll around so I can get dressed for a party.   Part of me wants to get entirely dolled up (plucked eyebrows….MASCARA!) but the sober portion of my personality has said, “They are engineers – if they do notice it would only be to make fun of you for taking the trouble.”  Sad, but I think true.  So I won’t wear the outfit I bought for Katie’s grad, but I will wear something comfy.  Maybe that flight suit?
I had amazing bus luck today.  I never had to wait more than 5 minutes.  On the way back I had a ‘brrrrr’ experience; the lad sitting across from me on the 145 was a DEAD RINGER FOR STEPHEN HARPER, right down to the icy blue eyes and man boobs.  The poor kid.

I can’t stop smiling.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me…. or what’s right with me.  Subjects were removed on the house; looks like the deal is a go.  Something may go wrong between now and the end of July but I’m good with everything.  I will roll with whatever comes my way.

Zeek! has been to the vet, courtesy of Paul, and he has a lesion on his chin which Paul got cream for and which seems to be working.  Zeek! and Kira appear to be otherwise happy and healthy and adjusting to the new place okay.

I light a candle for all my friends, who have stood by me in a lot of ways, not all of them readily apparent, while I’m going through the transition.  I feel so blessed, so borne up by the good wishes of those who love me, that it’s getting increasingly easy to feel positive, stay positive, and not be so easily moved to anger and irritation all the time.  My current emotional state reminds me of how I felt when I was expecting the kids; occasionally worried, but mostly, thanks to the hormones, feeling almost imperturbably happy and expectant.  The world’s an awesome place.

And I’m practicing mando at least an hour a day.  My guitar is bitching me out from its corner…. pick me up YOU!

I’m going to see a gal from a recreational group I was a member of for a brief while a couple of years back.  She and I are on Livejournal together and her relationship of 27 years busted up under much the same circumstances as mine.  We will get together tomorrow and compare notes, hopefully with buckets of tea and much self-deprecating laughter.  I am SO looking forward to it.  One of my requirements of myself is to quit hanging around with male engineering types who are fifteen years my junior and start hanging out more with sympatico women my own age.  My  visit with Gail made me realize that I am hungering for circumstances under which my childbearing and my middleagedness and my life experiences will be grist for the mill, not something to be shrugged off.  I want to own my life, not have to make excuses for it all the f(cking time.  Although I can’t make excuses for being happy.  Because I am.  I can walk around naked in my apartment!  Who couldn’t be happy about that!?  (Okay, there are three of my regular blog readers who just threw their hands in front of their eyes, but there are also two at least who are thinking other, possibly less critical thotz…)… Oh, and I saw Anne McLeod, one of the revered church elders, in the Safeway in New West today.  It was good to see her!