We’ll see

So with luck Keith will be able to deal with his papa this morning for the appointment.

A teensy bit of writing yesterday but the less said about me hauling boxes to Paul’s and standing over him drinking bowel cleanser all day the better. He was very sweet and compliant… while I was in the room. Spent most of my time there setting up his phone and writing down instructions. Brought him clear broth for foodicles.

Jeff’s going to take me to breakfast so gotta jet.

LATER. OMG THE CHICKEN SOUP AND SCHNITZEL SAMMY he got me for ‘supper for brekky’ at the Foreshore Restaurant was AMAZING. The schnitzel, first class, the soup a warm hug in my tummy.

Just spoke to Paul, he drunk it all ALL THE BOWEL CLEANSER and waits for Keith.

yet l8r….

Just spoke to Paul and Keith separately; Paul informed me that he ‘loaded 14 bowls’ and if you’re thinking hash, right colour, wrong substance… Keith was inbound to Paul and I told Paul to get out front to speed things along. Both of them were very happy for my waving my arms with a baton in my hand. How this shit keeps happening to me …OH YEAH – that’s right I got pregnant twice and decided to keep the kids. LOL.

Jeff says that he jumps when the phone rings. I hardly blame him!

Back to writing, the ending is coming up like a freight train.

I don’t want to talk or think about my life right now

I got a bracing email from Ruth which set me on the right path.

64 words yesterday, at least I’ve cracked open Part III.

Drove over to Peggy’s to drop off the pie plates and didn’t realize it was Sunday so walked into the middle of the aftermath of a church service at her house. One person greeted me, I dropped the pie plates off and booked it.

Visit with Alex had hiccups – so GGma call for example – but was otherwise very pleasant. Quite hot yesterday, air not great but at least I could walk to Timmy Ho’s with Alex and Jeff. Jeff continues to be a pillar of strength.

I hope everyone has a good day. I’m a sad remnant of myself, or at least that’s how it feels. On Wednesday the sun comes out and the air gets better.

Just for Yuks I Funko Popped myself:

Allegra Sloman as a Funko Pop. I'm holding a succulent in a plant pot and a very small guitar.

I’m holding a succulent and a very small guitar, if anyone cares.

private post

I’m so angry about the situation with Katie’s housing and how various people failed to help her (I’m thanking Steve and Dax for the AMAZING amount of help) that I made a private post.

I wrote 2000 words yesterday, I don’t imagine I will today. There’s too much shit to do.

and Alex is here. I just had to delete the next two hundred words, so I’m getting the hell out of here before I say something stupid. (Just found out I was worried for nothing, thanks universe) Alex himself is fine.

Paul’s colonoscopy is going to be a clusterfuck, and it’s not how I want to spend two days, monitoring him and his shit output while he glugs 4 litres of laxative.


crying my face off

about my life? no
about the lives of my little carnivale of characters, that would be an affirmative

So I wrote 2000 words, and that’s enough for today. It includes Blossom’s call to the boys, and some really emotionally intense conversations. Like holy shit. Crying like a baby. Now to do something useful.



Have paid for 4 l of bowel cleanser. The life of an ex is not an ‘appy one.

sent the woards off to mOm I think that’s it for section II


the really bad air forecast

apparently it all blew away and instead of being New Delhi or Guangdong it’s going to be not great but not the end of the world.

Everything fucked up yesterday. I was immobilized.

Doing better today, but there’s lots going on I can’t say.

I’ve got a tactical ukulele
Cause my baby
Got a metal spiiiiiiiiiine
If we get into a brawling dance
You got no chance
I’ll come out fine

This is for the most recently purchased uke Mike gave me, whom I believe I will name Iolana, a traditional Hawai’ian name that means ‘to soar.

I’m thinking of calling the other one Kailana, which means ‘powerful sea’ since with the low G string it has a bassier sound.

that aside

Apart from Japanese food ordered in, Jeff being awesome, getting a bunch of stuff to the charity, getting boxes into the house from the car, and the sideways astonishing 1800 words that pOURED out of me this morning on TB, today has been a cluster.

There’s an elephant on my chest.

tomorrow should be worse hiya

air quality

We’re going to have the worst air quality in the history of Vancouver the same day my daughter has to move.

I’m coughing up phlegm every 5-7 minutes. No chest pain or any other symptoms, but it’s a gumwad size, all morning so far, like clockwork. No writing will likely happen until the air quality improves.

I need to back up my computer.

Yesterday I hauled more items from Katie’s place. I now need to find locations for it all. This house is already overstuffed. We’re taking on an extra fan and air conditioner. I’m beat up from how much up and down the back stairs and packing I’ve been doing and I get two more days of this. and it’s absolutely nothing compared to what Katie has been doing.

Mike misread the meetup instructions for our meal today as being for yesterday so when I said Jarmo said Friday in his email he didn’t see it… so now it’s not happening. He was just angry as hell at himself and hung up, not wanting to talk to me, and I feel concerned about it. I already bowed out of the Dunnett gathering and as it turns out I was triple booked anyway.

I have to force myself to eat something. Jeff got me a super nice dinner last night, ate all of it.

The coffee this morning seemed extra delicious, don’t know why.

Errybody try to have the best day possible. I’m praying for the firefighters.

spinning up

Dishes are in the running dishwasher, Paul’s colonoscopy instructions are printed out (or are they still haven’t checked yet), I want to run a load of my own clothes and probably should before Suzanne gets here. I need to empty the car completely so I can refill it again.

I’m due there in an hour, let’s see what I can beaver through before I leave.

But mine were always there for me

My parents were not perfect. They never represented themselves as such. They were not mind readers. They never represented themselves as such. They loved each other, and they loved my brother and me, and I felt safe and cared for while I lived at home.

And now, across the Salish Sea, they still care for me. They help me pay my bills and enjoy the life I live so that it can be equitable with my roommate/brO. They continue to think about me and consider my feelings and ask for my opinion and snicker at my jokes and frown helplessly at my continuing weird takes on our family history.

But what motivates my writing sometimes is knowing that I was Loved, and so many are not. So many people have black holes of mental illness and assault convictions and alcoholism swirling around their parents. They have poverty and intergenerational abuse and racism and food insecurity as constant companions. When I write about these things, it’s because my parents gave me a life in which I could mentally afford to think about others, and to see my privilege as a member of a contented family as exactly that, not a sign that god loves me better.

I’ll be spending a day over at Junction with Paul

It will be hard, going through what now seems like so much junk that was once a family heirloom, or whatever. Katie’s taking some time off too to pack, Dax has gone into the interior with his uncle.

2500 words off to my readers this morning. 1100 words so far today on TB, I doubt there will be more given how exhausted I’ll be when I get home, and I left it at a very nice break point.

I just called Jordan Peterson a custard hearted bigot on twitter. Betcha I get banned. I LOVE IT.


it arrived

BUSTER has already jumped all over it, while I watched. Suzanne did all the haulage getting it here; Keith apparently bailed in a haze of ditziness after an offer to assist. It’s fucking enormous and awkward af. I helped her get it up the stairs. It’s now blocking an interior doorway because tipping it over is only just barely a one person job.

Going to see Jarmo and Susanna and Mike on Friday at a sushi joint close by.

Already 525 words into TB today and the section is FINALLY OVER and the journey can begin IN A DIFFERENT CAR. they’re currently driving into the sunrise in my mind, I now have to establish when in April they’re driving so I can establish the time of sunrise…. and the weather at the time. For all I fucking know it could have been snowing.

All of BC is on fire or at risk. The interior is closed to traffic except firefighters and support staff going in and climate refugees coming out. Twitter had half a dozen ‘before and after shots’ of people’s homes lost to the Shuswap fire (Adams Complex Fires) and of course the BC fire service is now having to explain how a controlled burn saved hundreds of homes but destroyed the hamlet of Sqwilix. Locals say the communication and coordination was sorely lacking and they got chased out of their homes without the order – they were already on alert. The West Kelowna Fire (McDougall Creek) shows 50 houses lost, and 5 more in Kelowna proper as of 12 hours ago.

Uncle Steve (whose titled land I was on last year) and Dax are supposed to be driving up there, I have no idea how they’ll accomplish the drive with the road closures. Apparently the RCMP are being right dicks about turning people back for some reason.

This is the road advisory for this instant… these links will almost immediately die so ignore them unless you’re looking today.

Current Road Advisories and Information

This page provides additional information during significant events impacting travel on BC highways. As always, DriveBC remains your best option for current road information.

  • Provincial State of Emergency was declared on August 19, 2023 due to wildfire activity across the province.
  • The province has issued an order restricting travel to wildfire-affected communities in the southern interior of the province.
  • The order is designed to discourage and stop recreational and leisure travel for tourist accommodation. The order does not restrict essential travel through or to these communities – including for work, for school and to help care for a sick loved one.
  • For more information visit EmergencyInfoBC

Okanagan – Shuswap

August 20, 2023

  • Highway 1 remains CLOSED between Chase and Blind Bay intersection (east of Sorrento) due to active wildfire. Assessments are underway and crews are on site responding.
  • Holding Bridge on Holding Road is CLOSED
  • Squilax-Anglemont Road is CLOSED from its intersection with Highway 1
  • Highway 5A is open with a travel advisory in effect
  • Highway 97 remains open in West Kelowna and Kelowna
  • Westside Rd is CLOSED from Highway 97 to Fintry

Your primary sources of current highway and emergency information are:

Fraser Canyon

August 21, 2023

  • Highway 1 between Boston Bar and Lytton is CLOSED due to active wildfire (Kookipi)
  • A checkpoint is in place at Ross Road in Haig (just west of Hope)
  • Full closures are in place at Canyon Alpine (6 km north of Boston Bar) and at the Highway 1/12 Junction in Lytton
  • BC Hydro repair work is underway
  • Danger tree and rockfall assessment in progress

Your primary sources of current highway and emergency information are:

Highway 4 – Cameron Bluffs

August 18, 2023

In addition to the regular daily closures, there will be a full day-time closure to allow crews to remove approximately a dozen refrigerator-sized boulders as part of the rock-scaling work being done at Angel Rock, which has proved to be the most challenging segment of the bluff.

Weather permitting, this closure will take place:

    • Thursday, Aug. 24, 2023 8:30 a.m. until 9 p.m

The Cameron Bluffs Fire event  area remains single lane alternating with non-scheduled pilot cars.

For further information See the Cameron Bluffs Recovery page, including about the detour route

Your primary sources of current highway and emergency information are:

  • Highway condition and event information:  DriveBC.
  • Emergency alerts and evacuation information: EmergencyInfoBC



cat tree

Buster’s current cat tree is very old and ratty; he’ll get a new one tonight (Suzanne is helping) and we’ll put the old one on the deck. Or maybe it will go straight into the trash, it needs to be completely reupholstered.

Upholstery comes from the Middle English upholder, a person who furnished cloth and mattresses for beds and other furniture. What a weird damned word. Now it’s only used with ‘of the law’ after it.

677 words yesterday on TB, way more than I expected given that I felt crushed when I awoke (air quality was like 250 !!! into the purple zone !! overnight). The air is much better today but still not in the green zone.

Repotted the five little peyotes. It was a lot harder getting five of them apart than two, believe me, but the biggun was pushing roots right out of the pot so it was time. I should water them again later today.

Coffee brings me life this morning. Time for another one lol.

Drew Barrymore is a scab. She crossed the picket line to film an advertisement in Vancouver. HEAVY SIGH.

which one of you incredibly quiet people wants a bsky invite code?