Category: Friends

Faw down.

Yesterday I performed the most spectacular inadvertent pratfall I think I ever have. In front of at least a dozen people (not all of whom were looking at me) I turned my ankle in the middle of a road, right next to the construction site up the hill, pirouetted with great speed and no grace and did a shoulder roll onto my back.

Patricia (who was with me, and who better to see this than somebody who will be teasing me about it until one of us goes senile) said that the flock of ESL students coming up the hill towards me all clapped their right hands over their mouths in a simultaneous display of distress. I just lay there looking up at the sky and laughing. Apart from a smudge of dirt up one leg there wasn’t a mark, scratch or bruise on me. My shoulder is no more sore this morning than it would have been if I’d been in the front of a canoe for a trip to Widgeon Creek. You’d think my hip or my back would have protested, but I’m no worse or better off this morning than I was yesterday. The body is a remarkable thing. It’s odd. I likely wouldn’t have fallen if I hadn’t consumed beer at lunch but on the other hand, I was as relaxed as a rag doll when my balance let go.
Today it’s daughter Katie (“I spent all my money on a suit, can you buy me a bus pass?” – and I just paid her cell phone bill. Mothers.) from about 9:30 on and then home before supper time to attempt to make myself beautiful for my date (here insert the faint sound of eyes rolling).

But what a suit! Katie got a black Hugo Boss pure wool men’s suit, which fits her, down to the arms being shorter than the average guy’s, for ten bucks and tax. You have to admit that’s a pretty spectactular find. I had to rip Katie a new one for taking her GODDAMNED PAYCHECK TO THE MONEY MART. Girl, don’t pay almost 30 bucks for the privilege of getting your own money, come to me, or your dad, or Keith, or guh, ANYBODY who knows you with a bank account. I can’t imagine Keith doing something like that on the worst day he ever had; it’s remarkable how different two kids can be.
Anyway, it looks fair to be a wonderful day, and I’se so happy to be alive.

weird frisson

I’m at kopper’s place (typed kipper, ha ha) as, scurvy little emotional parasite that I am, I didn’t want to be by myself the night before nautilus3’s surgery.  Also, I wanted a break from the non stop looking at responses to my Craigslist ad, which I can do now that I have located…. Dances with Sheep!  Yes, I ran the nickname by him and he kind of email rolled his eyes but he’s okay with it.  You can understand just how laid back he is from this exchange.  He will be referred to in short form as DwS.
The weird frisson was that I nearly logged in as kopper, which would have been really bizarre.

I have now had coffee and I have an hour to get to work. Wish me luck!!!

I will be thinking about my mOm a lot today.  She says she’s never been so well prepared for a major life event…. They really try to make sure you have everything you need in advance.

Kopper showed me her bow collection.  You know, the kind you kill things with.  As a member of the Consorority of the Brides of Lymond, having a girlfriend who can kill things with a bow and arrow is SWOONDERFUL.  Then I admired her ribbons…. gal’s good.

Bizaaaaarrre.

So instead of showing my transit pass when I got on the bus at the ungodly hour of 8:10 (am, on a Sunday morning? puhleeze) I had to pull out my mandolin and play it. I got through the first 3 verses of Buy Me A Beer before somebody else got on the bus.

Then, when I got to church, Tom got ‘that look’ in his eye and started playing “Buy me a Beer” so we ENDED UP SINGING IT in the ingathering at church, which still strikes me as being a “take your glasses off and clean them thoughtfully” moment. And I had banjo, twelve string, six string, piano, vocal AND stand up bass accompaniment. Long live the Masticating Ungulates! (The band formerly known as MU).

Very good to see Lady Miss Banjola on her pins agin. Afterwards, Dim Sum.

One of my friends, speaking to me on the phone the other night, said, “Well I know how you are from your blog, but how are you REALLY!?” You asked for it.

1. My back hurts all the time, but I don’t complain about it because it’s BORING.

2. I really wish I was having more sex with the people I want to be having sex with. Quality is not the issue. I don’t talk about that shit here – mostly because just reading this paragraph made my mother’s face screw up really hard. And Parental Strength Mental Bleach is v. difficult to find.

3. No matter how hard I try, I can’t forgive somebody I really shouldn’t be wasting any emotional time and space on. I will keep trying. It’s hard.

4. I wish someone would come along and kick my ass about my songs, as in getting them written down.

5. I need to eat more vegetables, and no, this does not loop back to item 2.

6. After years of being told I’m not a team player and that I’ve got problems with anger, I’ve learned that neither of those things are true. I’m actually a happy person; I rarely get angry about anything any more. Emotionally abusive relationships have subtle and lingering effects.

7. I know I have to lose weight for my health and longevity. It’s an ongoing irritant.

8. I haven’t had a cigarette in just over a week.

There’s more, but that hits the high notes.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch the “Happy Feet” part of King of Jazz again.

Off to church

The Masticating Ungulates are playing at church today, so I am going along.  Nobody will hear the mando over the bass and the banjo anyway (YYYYYYAAAAYYYY Lady Miss  Banjola is well enough to perform in public did I say Yay?).  Dr. Filk etcet. will be singing Jack Frost (swoon, it’s a favourite) and we’re going to sing “Absolutely Bonkers”

Rehearsal yesterday was fun and it sure was good to sing with Dr. Filk again.  I gave him a tip about writing Buffy filk (go to the canon and search on your character, and let the dialogue from the show write the lyrics!!) so I imagine his Anya tune will now come together much faster.  Although I didn’t apologize for the shit I’ve written about him on my blog, (Allegra sample lyric – I never say I’m sorry, I can’t make it convincing enough) I did take the worst of it down so anybody wandering across it for the first time won’t see it.  Lieber Gott…. look at the time, I’ve got a bus to catch.

Jericho & other natters

Saw Plough at Jericho. I really wish Keith could have been there, they were totally in the O Brother Where Art Thou groove and very very musical and fun, and lively and young and respectful to the audience… and don’t forget banjo and fiddle and guitar and standup bass…..

Katie K took me. Her car is only plated for another week or so; we are making best advantage of this. Consuming burgers and sitting on the beautiful deck at the Sailing Club while sucking back Raven on tap. Singing and playing and having half a dozen people come up to me afterwards and exclaim over my tunes (I played Words Fail (also known as the Telecom song) and Bruise (also known as Green and Purple and Black and Blue)). The rest of the open stage was uniformly excellent, as always.

Tom and Peggy also came out to see Patrick Metzger who in addition to being the bassist for Lesismore is the guitarist/bassist for Plough; Katie and I talked to them briefly; Katie knows them from way back from Beacon when her kids were in Religious Education there.

I’m bagged, suddenly… it is bedtime.

Grrrr

It seems like every time I come back with the CAN car I have to deal with a never ending parade of people who can’t read the sign (Dear Blithering Eejit, don’t stop, park, unload or stick any kind of vehicle here!)  So I sit in the car and curse until people move, and then move the car, or park it down below, since I have access to the visitor parking.  I bailed on church (mostly because I was too angry to sit through another minute, and unfortunately “If you can’t say something nice, keep cakehole in down and locked position” applies in  this case).  And I made biscotti for afters too… Grr.  But then I had all this time with the car and Paul called and we went through what appears to be the last draft of the separation agreement although I am NOT Alicia (that was a funny typo!).  I got to see Keith, briefly.  I learned what happened to my recipe book, copied or took what I needed, and had a good visit with Paul after we got the paperwork squared away.  I’ve been thinking a lot over the last week about “what went wrong” so a lot of our conversation consisted of him listening to me say what I thought I’d screwed up; because, you know, he’s a really great guy and he deserves as much as anyone else to be happy, and there was no way, considering how perma-cheesed I was for the last year, that he could have been happy living with me.  He was very kindly about the whole conversation and we got in a good walk and I finally have decent rice, I can’t believe how much I missed having proper Indian basmati, which I am to the point of thinking is the only rice.
Grr.  Grr.  Then my mood lifts abruptly when I find out that Katie K is going to take me to either Dosza Garden or Simba’s – two of my fave eating places….  So this afternoon I have one last crack at various projects before work commences, and then food, and then hopefully home early, to bed early, and with any luck my migraine will be gone.  It’s not a big one, but it’s dreadful not to be enjoying sunshine…. it’s really another glorious day.

It’s a beautiful day

It is so gorgeous outside that I feel like I’m having an Out of Weather experience.  This summer sucked, but today is nice.

Anyway – I’m dealing with my internet addiction (wot? Allegra has an inertnests addiccion?) by writing – away from the computer – and practicing mando.  So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to start a biscotti batch (about time, eh folks?) and then cheese off my neighbours and practice on my balcony.  Okay, just inside the balcony door.
I get to do the Thanksgiving service at church.  That’s less than a month away so more than enough time to get it together.
I still can’t believe how happy I am.   The goofy pic is me and Tam…photo-88.jpg

CAN car meshuggas and Happy Family News

I booked the CAN car – the charcoal Prius parked at my door, don’t you know – from 10:30 to 1:30 so I could shop for the extremely large toilet paper package I like so much (okay, I bought other stuff too…) and also to have enough time to hit the office and call RobofNine and ScaryClown down to admire the vehicle.  As could be predicted (ScaryClown being about 12 in terms of psychological age – maybe 13) he said “People must have been ****ing back here, look at the stains” as he got into the back seat.  Thanks, kiddo.

Today I bought eggcups (leering eggcups frustrate my amnesia – R. Needham); a set of stacking coffee cups which I have coveted for about two months now; much food (I’m feeding Katie K tonight – and probably watching Red Shoes again…); a wall calendar, suction cups (none of which suction to the walls, Tammy, I think I’ll have to make holes now); and did I tell you I drove a Prius for the first time?  I nearly broke my neck trying to figure out how to take the parking brake off and when I went to show off to the guys I couldn’t get it started ’cause I didn’t put my foot on the brake, so RobofNine kindly pointed out my error.  Then when I got home some ****wit in a Honeywell service truck was parked in the CAN car spot so I had to park it in the visitor lot, but as soon as I unloaded my groceries, the spot vacated and I ran like the hammers down the stairs to shift the car, all of which went well and I didn’t have to parallel park, may the saints and angels be praised.

OOOOOOOO Squeeeee!!!! phone just rang – it was daughter Katie and she GOT THE JOB.  In three months benefits; in six months a raise – and the company discounts are great and she’s working 8:00 – 4:30 M-F.  I said, “Welcome to the working poor” and she said, “I don’t care, at least things are moving in the right direction. Big Ten Four to that.

Is nothing sacred????

Click here for a dreadful, nay, almost sacreligious book cover.

Ha ha, fooled you, it’s just another way for me to sneak a moose into my blog.

Last night Janet, Tammy’s mum, and Janet’s charming spouse Rob who is alas on strike at the moment and gets to picket at City Hall – ick – for $50 a week strike pay – double ick – fed me a beautiful, wholesome dinner. In their perfect back garden. I brought along a bottle of California organic chardonnay.

Yesterday was a day crammed with incident. I could have spent the afternoon with Tammy, but Katie requested assistance with financial stuff. When I got to New West I was less than charmed to find out she’d already locked her payout from the house into a GIC (I bought a GIC too, while I was there), but it turned out she needed to order cheques. So we did that, and then she turned into a wobbly 8 year old girl in front of my eyes, and, practically in tears, asked me if I could walk her over to her old work and help her collect her last cheque. THAT’S how terrified she was of her old boss, that she was almost nineteen and needed a wingman. So OF COURSE I went in with her, but there was no problem; her cheque was ready, she thanked her two former coworkers and her screechy and abusive (like Katie needs more abusive people in her life, deary me) boss wasn’t there, so all her premonitory butterflies were for naught.

Then we went to Lougheed Mall and checked addresses for previous jobs and got her application to Village de Valeur filled out and I went to Tammy’s mum’s place on the transit, and I composed a song, which, when I woke up this morning and lined it out again turns out be somebody else’s song, drat, so I will have to either chuck the whole thing or sit on the lyrics until something else comes to me.

The house is on Manitoba Street, one of the Manitoba Cottages, it has a plaque and everything. To say that it has been lovingly restored would be an understatement = Janet does not do things by halves. Every single detail about the house, now that it’s for sale (Rob and Janet hope to move to Tsawassen for the sun) is so gorgeous and perfect that my little apartment looks like a barren desert occupied by a paper junkie by comparison. Oh, and I met the wife of a local celebrity while I was there (arts and entertainment variety). This completed the “You Don’t Move in These Circles” feeling. Aside to Lexi – this is a feeling I don’t get when I hang around with you, but this might have something to do with your steadfast refusal to take yourself too seriously, except at exam time.

My contribution to the dinner consisted of moving stuff up and downstairs to the garden (Tammy was taking the stairs mighty slow and I wasn’t much faster as the stairs had been polished to the point of hazard) setting the table and peeling peaches (I detests me some peach fuzz) and trying not to throttle Janet when she was teasing Tammy, who needed very desperately NOT to be teased, given that she had an eye infection.  MY mom would be fussing over me in a nice way; Janet’s response to being told that Tammy was setting her alarm for 45 minutes before the departure time (Tammy flew out to Toronto this morning, sigh) was “What on earth do you need all that time for?” and then she launched into how little time it would take HER.  At which point my angel tripped my demon and piped up, “Well I’m not sure that’s a fair comparison, given the jet lag and the eye infection.”  If my demon had spiked my angel I would have  – well, enough about that.  I would have degenerated into name calling pretty fast, and I was a guest.  Tammy is normally more than capable of looking after herself, but I think she was grateful I said something.

To Janet’s credit, she had a blue glass eyecup (an astonishing thing!) which matched all of her decor, but allowed Tammy to use eyebright tea, which I had been bugging her about since I heard about the infection.  Paul – if you’re reading this – ’nuff said!  We picked the eyebright up at Finlandia, which I had been wanting to go to since I moved to town (they have a new store and it’s gorgeous).  It’s the Nordstrom’s of herbal pharmacies, especially if you’re used to the little holes in wall for Chinese herbal medicine stores. The eyebright provided immediate relief and the swelling went down visibly over the course of the evening.

Then Rob gave me a lift to the Main Station, and so home, except I stopped off to buy cut flowers to perk up my lonely bachelorette pad.

Katie K has returned to Vancouver and we had a rather one sided earflapping last night because she really needed to download about her week and a bit of visiting sick and elderly relatives, cleaning out houses of same, having her accommodation arrangements kicked out from under her with virtually no notice, etc. etc.  My week has been a picnic on Wreck Beach by comparison.

One last bit of family gossip – I dunno how long Maggie and daughter Katie were talking last night after Maggie gave her a ride home (she ended up at Paul’s for dinner, thank goodness, so she had a family day) but I told Katie to call me back if it was before midnight and she didn’t, and that was at 10 after 10…. so I suspect that YET another female family member (Tammy being extended family) was giving her an earful / moral support about her current situation.  Man, I’m so glad there’s other people willing to do the heavy lifting!

Off for coffee…

More walking around and standing still.

Tammy and I walked to Horizons from my apartment this morning.  She’s in better shape than I am, as far as I can tell.  I became more acquainted with the trails around here as well as getting some exercise.  I didn’t exactly stick a gun in her ribs when we got there (ambling around rose gardens and taking pictures of roses was more my speed) but we hung about until the doors opened on the restaurant and I warmly encouraged her to feed me, which she did. Consider the meal rhapsodized about.  Then we walked home.  This time I chose, much to our satisfaction, a more level route.

She’s gone off to a family dinner and now I’m going to go back to an exciting evening of staring off into space, giggling vacantly, and folding laundry.  (Doesn’t that sound bizarre?  none of it’s true except the laundry.)