Poem – the state of discourse

 

 

does it help that I called you on your birthday
yes
that is a ‘yes’
but below that tidal crest of astonishment

that it is only accidents which provide me with
my shine
not anything I do

and I let go of the designs of things
moving backward through understanding
into confusion again

I wanted to speak to you, and there, I have

but that’s not ornate enough
for my mood

I’m thinking of you
putting your game face on
to send me a chapbook

what is a book but a tree
given speech

what is a friend but my heart
given another home

absolutely wonderful night of sleep

I think I’ve got this almost figured out now.

Lovely walk in Oakalla; late lunch provided by Keith and Paul; tidied a little over there in the kitchen since I wanted it to be a little cleaner before Katie got home from work.

Practiced, wrote 75 words yesterday.

This morning, two episodes of Maximilian and Marie. Looks like another beautiful day!

Better days are coming

Superb night of sleep, I think I’m managing my drugs much better. It was almost six when I woke up!

Curvebeak greeted me from the neighbour’s roof the other day. Very strange to be recognized by a crow.

Of course they bloody well recognize me. The hazelnuts turn out to be contaminated with something I’m allergic to, so I’m feeding them to them a handful at a time and snork snork snork down they go. This being the season when they’re bringing off young ready access to quality food close to the nest is going to be a big deal.

Buster is not happy that I’m feeding crows, but he’d still rather train than sit on the deck with his tail switching, waiting for them.

Timmy Ho’s coffee in mah belleh, I should feel shame but all I really feel is a strong urge to write a scene I’ve been putting off for about three weeks.

TIME TO GO DANCING

stormy night

Feeling MUCH better today; so far I’ve finished a letter to pOp; emptied the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen, brushed Buster, watched another “Debris” (I’m doing a rewatch for a particular reason), and finished the shrimps I ordered yesterday and had another piece of halibut AND a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea. NOM

After the dentist warned me that this top left back tooth would be sensitive, and that the filling is in “Jeez Dave how do you hold your head up” territory as regards size, I’m happy to say that my bite was better than when she started with it (she appears to have trued up my jaw, which may help with my grinding problem) and there is no more than the usual soreness you have after getting a dental dam jammed in your mouth. And this is less than a day later, so I’m pleased.

Reddit is packed with lightning pictures from last night, in east Van – I didn’t hear or see a thing, being restfully sleeping at the time.

I’m so irritated. I printed the letter to pOp out backward, but the printer just barfed on it, and I sighingly reverted to printing it right way about. So my evil plan to make pOp read one of my letters in a mirror did not come to pass!

strange days

Had a panic attack at the dentist today. I was okay during the cleaning the other day but having two people in my mouth at once completely overwhelmed me and I was having trouble breathing. Big damned cavity, too.

I promptly spent a lot of money on delivery, after I walked home (more or less to demonstrate to myself that I was fine now, and also to help walk off the freezing (she gave the exact amount)) so yeah I was worked on by two total strangers after having dr. katz for like 20 years…. I just lay there and cried for the first five minutes and I don’t recollect doing that since the first time I had a root canal.

#FreePalestine #Naqba73

Well, another Naqba – the anniversary of the day the newly hatched Israelis started booting the Palestinians off their land – has arrived. Keith and I went to the demo but we’re both pretty easy to overwhelm thanks to the pandemic so we didn’t hang around longer than it took to watch the parade go by, but there were at least 2500 people there and there were literally hundreds of flags and signs, it was super colourful and people put a lot of effort into the signs. Everyone was masked, it was kind of a condition of showing up.

We parked at Edmonds and Skytrained in, and then sprinted home again – we left when the cops started flashing lights at the end of the column, although everything I’ve read in the news indicates it stayed peaceful. You can understand how the local cops would be a bit sensitive at the moment with bodies dropping left and down the street from here.

Anyway, what the Israelis are doing is war crimes and Hamas is trying to mount a defence that is not really working. I don’t want Canada to be supporting Israel in committing genocidal acts over several generations as outlined in David Ben-Gurion’s fucking diary and I understand the nutgrinder Trudeau’s got himself in on the subject and candidly I don’t care. Not in my name.

delish

Keith made lunch yesterday, a Hello Fresh roasted veggie bowl over spring mix. Damn it was good! Before that Paul and I went to Oakalla. Still forgot to mail Dave’s letter.

I am hoping today to go to a demo with Keith, we’ll see what the Grand Joculator of Fortune brings us….

 

AND here’s where having ADD is so much fun. I sent cookies to Jim and Jan and THEY SHOWED UP ON JIM’S BIRTHDAY. I had no idea, because my ADD makes it hard to manage other people’s birthdays so I just followed the previous family practice of not making a big deal about birthdays (which is good, because they are often disappointing) and just giving people stuff as and when you can remember and afford it. Of course Jan knew it was a coincidence but life is good. Anyway mOm you should have your bikkies soon if you haven’t received them already.

It was so lovely to get Jan’s email. You want to think what you do has an effect on people and yip yip yip!! (dancing dog image goes in your brain *here*)

 

Oh, and just you think I’ve gone soft, fuck the police, the VPD in particks. (Article about the false arrest of Selwyn Romilly)

Gorgeous day

shootings aside this should be the nicest day this year so far in MST country.

I’ve put most of my laundry away from yesterday, I trained Buster twice, and brushed him, I ran the dishwasher and emptied it, I fed two lots of crows, emptied my purse and tidied it, put more recent medication in my spare pill bottle so I will now work my way through the older prescription, (I carry a week of my prescribed medication just in case I’m on the wrong side of a bridge when the big one comes through…), wrote a letter to Dave D and am close to stirring my stumps sufficiently to mail it…. not bad for someone who’s been up since 3:50. I had a very good night of sleep.

so much in the papers about the gang war.

Last time Paul and I went to Fraser Foreshore, which is at the bottom of Byrne Road, we were LAUGHING at the Cactus Club awnings, which look like could easily rip away in a wind and fly out onto the enormous intersection (Byrne and Marine – one of the major intersections in Burnaby as far as complexity and size and traffic level) and now right in front of those awnings one guy in the Brothers Keepers gang was shot dead (died on scene) and two of his faithful were hauled off to hospital last night.

 

Paul and I are about to go walking at Oakalla. If I see anything faskinating I’ll write it up when I get home.

lovely productive day with a dark ending

Leftover Desi Turka takeaway for breakfast. A couple of loads of laundry done. A little bit of planning for writing. Practicing musical instruments. A lot of CBD gummies, my back was scandalous.

Steps from where I got takeaway on Wednesday after the cleaning at the dentist (the mango lassi was SO.DAMNED.GOOD) someone was shot dead last week in broad daylight.

Last night someone was shot dead steps from where we get donuts of a morning. He was sitting in his car, a young East Indian man, eating a hamburger, and pop pop pop.

It doesn’t make me want to rejoin the world.

Roborative sleep

not, ha ha, rebarbative. Don’t get those two words mixed up.

Jesse and Slider are going to go dancing. Outside, in the summer, at night. I am putting together a playlist, which include Serena Ryder’s “Ice Age”. I heard it this morning as muzak at the Save-On and as I listened I thought, you know for a pop song this is actually tolerable (lyrically and musically). Then I find out she’s Canadian and won Juno awards and is part Trini and part Indigenous and I thought, yeah, okay. Definitely going on the playlist.

Jeff didn’t come, he’s buried in work at the moment. I thought about stopping off for a coffee at Timmy Ho’s but decided to come straight home, and I’m glad I did.

The Kaossilator, which has had a whole ALBUM done on it alone (this is one tune) is continuing to provide me with entertainment.

JUST at the point the battery starts to die, it makes ABSOLUTELY incredible noises, since it hangs and starts to loop (especially in the voice effects, I’m not entirely sure why). The effects can be everything from sinister to gutbusting. Hope to do something with that some day, in terms of home recording.

Hives came back, it’s definitely the nuts. Good to know!

Bison can hop like bunnies, who knew.