Yesterday disappeared into Laundry and Downton Abbey

Yes, I started watching it.  Yes, I’m a fool.

This is a pic of two nursing cats who are ‘coparenting’.  It is very adorable.

Thank you mOm for the books that came back with Jeff.

Margot wandered around the house making funny noises a lot while Jeff was gone.

I think I need to go see an eye doctor.  My right eye has underproduced tears since I was in my teens, but my eye is so dry now that I’m in pain a good chunk of the time – enough pain that I’m not noticing my back or my shoulder.  I think today I may get an eyepatch, just to give my eye a break.

 

This is a simply adorable series of family pictures.

 

Who cares what I dream?

It doesn’t mean anything.  But last night Lady Miss Banjola grabbed an overly officious and magically short security guard by the ear and lectured him, which caused him to GO ROGUE and investigate her grandparents’ garage.  Lady Miss B appeared and berated him some more, this time with crunchy swears and him running away to his SUV. Before I could learn what was going on, the scene shifted indoors to a Las Vegas style hotel, and she ditched me at what I assumed was a science fiction convention, because Seanan McGuire shimmied by in a dress of such surpassing sparkle and slinkiness that I was forced to rub my eyes.  I wish I hadn’t, when I removed my fists from my eyes, she was gone, and I was sitting at a table of quite possibly the strangest and least competent MARKETING people I had ever seen.  Not even beer could save me; I woke up.

 

On another subject, Margot slept with me at least until I woke up two hours ago with my eyes streaming and my throat sore.  Yes, the con crud hath landed.

Sad news from Detroit

A man left a loaded rifle under his bed, and his four year old granddaughter found it and shot and killed a four year old boy, her cousin.

I’m sorry for all the close relatives and that little child most of all.

Leaving a loaded gun on the floor with children present is criminal negligence and the man responsible will have to live with being personally responsible for the death of his kin for the rest of his life. Having a loaded gun in a neighborhood with 1 – 2 hour police response times is not criminal negligence. Poor people don’t often get to choose where they live.

If the NRA was running kickstarters to buy gun safety equipment for poor people I’d believe their responsible gun ownership bs. As it is they have a constituency – the gun manufacturers – whom they serve with every bit of suction they can muster.

Filk Band Camp Weekend

I would like to have a weekend recording songs with my filking buddies.

1.  Ask a bunch of my favourite filkers if they would set aside a weekend to record.  Anybody who didn’t want to come didn’t have to, but it would be best for 10-12 people so there’s enough tracks for an album.

2. Rent a location (cause you have to do it in advance).

3. Invite a filk friendly sound engineer or two (for pay OF COURSE).

4. Prior to the recording date we each get to pick one of our own tunes and make a scratch track in the right key and tempo.  We forward it to everybody from the group we want to contribute to the song and request that they either work up an instrumental, or a harmony, or whatever is mutually agreeable.

5. We pick the songs to be recorded out of a hat and record them in that order.

6. Occasionally we stop for food and drink and sleep.

7. Final say for what the song sounds like is between the engineer and the songwriter.

8. We release the album.  Profits if any (sing bwa ha ha!) go to wherever we designate at the time the project commences.

9. We end up with music that’s like the best ever filk circle and a wide variety of textures, styles and subjects.

 

Happy sigh.  Damn wooooolf mooooon, I can’t sleep.

 

Great phone interview!!

OMG. Best phone interview ever. I said (Coles Notes Version), “I’m 55, if you’re looking for a soignée young thing with career aspirations, don’t even call me in; if you want somebody who can be den mom to a bunch of engineers at a start up, deal with four things at once and stay cool on the phone, do at least bring me in.”  Nothing may come of it, I don’t care, it was very positive and I did enjoy speaking with her; she sounded warm and intelligent on the phone, as I judge these things.

A blessing upon learning a grandmother has died.

May her faults be a lesson, her virtues an inspiration and her love ever part of your blood and bones.

 

 

 

I hope Polly rests easy; she worked with great energy up until her 80’s, and treated retirement as an invasion of her dignity.  I never had the privilege of meeting her, except through the reminiscences and travel diaries of her descendants.

They warned me

They told me what would happen.  I started following racism eradication activists on twitter, and they told me, down to the last squeak of privilege and bleat of illogic and roar of cognitive bias and growl of hatred and whine of misdirection and concussive threat of personal violence and siren of tone policing, exactly what would happen to me when I started confronting racist speech in others, in public.  In a three round conversation, I got it all but the threat of violence, including how the other person’s spelling and grammar devolved as (I assume from the name) he completely lost his shit.

I’ve spent a lifetime avoiding conflict and trying to talk pretty; this is going to make the friendships I have with people who want to help me with the work even more important.  It already IS ugly.  Up until this point I’ve had no skin in the game.  That’s what privilege does.  Now I want to have skin in the game without getting my feelings hurt, and that’s just not going to happen, and I have to get over it, and I’m scared.

One of the things that is helping is learning about the Japanese-American and African-American troops as they served their country fighting in the Second World War.  They wanted to prove two things, their patriotism and their worth. Many made the ultimate sacrifice to demonstrate both.  As they fought in their campaigns, they encountered the worst of what human beings can do to each other, and helped destroy the engines of fascism and racism, although they could not eradicate those ideologies.  With their sacrifice in mind, I will get off my ass; I will quit whining; I will do the work.

Eddie

Eddie on a favourite perch
Eddie was my best friend. He and Gizmo helped me through a difficult time in my life, and having lived (and slept) with them almost every day for so many years it’s difficult for me to comprehend that they’re both gone. Allegra’s cat Miss Margot is sleeping with me now, which is a comfort. She snores like a banshee, but so did the boys, so I sleep right through it.

Eddie’s proper name was Edgar, after Edgar Allen Poe. We got him with his tiny sister, Penguin, in 1997. We had to give Penguin away, for reasons I won’t get into here. After that, Eddie wandered the house howling softly, presumably looking for her. So we got Gizmo to keep him company.

Eddie had a deep bass purr. He loved to have his fur rubbed the wrong way. When we first got him, he had one white whisker, which we decided was his Indian name. That whisker was replaced by a black one for most of his life, until quite recently, when the white one grew back and he became One White Whisker again. Eddie was a tubby cat most of his life, which made his skinniness toward the end particularly sad. I miss you, buddy.

god, libertarians suck

my response to two of them

 

You fellas are adorable.

When the first peoples came to Turtle Island, there was nobody to conquer. (Although the megafauna, were they still around and sentient, might object most strenuously to that categorization). They spread out, established territories, and sure, fought among themselves as people do when displaced by climate change and natural disaster, but they established collective lands and for the most part respected those lands with natural boundaries and traded like mad. (Although modern Haidas laugh and say that their name comes from the other tribes yelling Hide Us! when they saw those fricking war canoes….) The notion of federation was borrowed and improved upon (arguably, but not by me) and codified by the descendants of the people who kicked the Haudenosaunee off their lands by right of conquest. Except that they made treaties and broke them for convenience, for racism, in the name of the conqueror god, & for capitalism.

In the end the land will reclaim the settlers. Without collective care of the land we’re all going to die horribly as capitalism dirties and endangers every creature now alive. Private property rights are a wonderful idea, but they are unenforceable and serve crony capitalism by atomizing opposition. Those rights will be less and less enforceable as time goes by unless you bare your ass to whoever controls the legal (or otherwise) monopoly on the use of force.

When your government can rain death down on you unopposed from 20000 feet up if you annoy the people at the joysticks, I hope your spirited defense of property rights shields you and your children.

I belong to a collective of like minded people who are working our way back to food safety and security, as well as shared land. When I’m done I’ll be working less than 30 hours a week to feed myself and our animals, have the comfort and security of family and friends around me, I’ll have access to light and power and musical instruments, and private property rights will be ideological road kill on a highway long since grown over by bushes and weeds. Using scare tactics about shared land, rather than educating yourself about where it exists and where it is working (because you’re right about it not working, often, but do not really understand why, and shoot yourself in the foot by not seeing where it IS working), is in my view inertia masking fear. Private property is for people who already have something and are FRIGHTENED of losing it.

But like fiat currency, marriage traditions, organized religion and tailgate parties, private property is a social convention, not an absolute right, pace Bastiat and all of his heirs. My only absolute right is my person and the tools of my trade or trades, and they are not rights I may individually enforce. Everything else re property is a stake through the heart of my connectedness to other people, which can, and should trump my right to sit on any dunghill, be it shit or gold, and crow that I am wiser and better, for I have something to lose, and need never think of who died or was injured for me to acquire it. The concentration camp you threaten liberals with is in your own minds. Free yourselves, humans, with whom I share the immense and shameful legacy of conquest and genocide! You are looters and do not seem aware of it, do not seem equipped to even consider it as possible, and may not be able to admit that the violence of your scorn betrays the weakness of your position.

And of course I don’t expect to be on the side of any government, local or otherwise, at any point in the future, but I’ll leave the fighting and dying for land to others, and try merely to keep planting food and saving seed and tending those weaker than I. When I have finished shedding this crust of goods and have nothing but my instruments and seed bags, I will stop being a looter myself, at long last. A thing is what it is, and not something else, as a wise man once said.

Eddie has crossed the Rainbow Bridge

Jeff is as you can imagine, (“Both my boys are gone,” he said last night), and I’m sad too but with nothing like the sadness of someone who lived with a cat from his hyperactive kittenhood into maturity as a sober minded and dignified cat.  Who rescued the kitten on at least two occasions.  I guess Margot isn’t the kitten anymore, unless we decide we want to break our hearts again and adopt a senior cat.  We watched Pacific all day yesterday as it was the only show dark enough to match our mood when we took him to the hospital.

I feel lucky to have known him.  He was a very handsome creature.  I knew he was dying when he no longer left the room when I sang and played… he always hated the sound of either instrument or voice, and disliked loud tv.  The bloodwork we learned of yesterday confirmed it.  He had days at best, his mouth sores were making eating impossible and drinking painful.  He had a good run, but dammit, too short; a year ago he was so sleek and energetic we had reasonable hopes he’d make twenty.

And now, we must site and dig a grave.  He’ll be buried in the towel I set under him to keep him warm and comfortable in his last days, somewhere close to Zeek! and Gizmo, his adoptive brother, and Kira, and Bounce, who has rested here these last fifteen years or so, up against the south fence, shaded by a dogwood, close to the deck where he spent many hours in feline contemplation, lazing in the sun, waiting for Jeff to come home so he could run up and greet him.

 

 

Niccolo song

I will follow you.mus

I have followed lots of men to hell and halfway back again

but you’re e-ffic-ient

Your critiques ring in my ears and you play on my every fear

and make me feel somehow deficient

I will follow you

and hand you gear when trouble’s brewing

I will follow you

When a brand new ship needs crewing

I will follow you

I’ve made a lot of bad decisions

Made my mind up this is what I’ll do.

 

You say we’re off to Africa and going to visit Prester John

I don’t believe you

I will keep an eye on you and find out what you’re really up to

and if required somehow retrieve you

I will follow you

hallucinate and dance till morning

I will follow you

my hero worship you are scorning

I will follow you

I’ve made a lot of bad assumptions

I will prove to you my trust is true

 

This time it is Iceland and it’s not a very nice land

’cause vol-ca-no

Also it is wintertime and there is much terrain to climb

before our fortune we can gain-o

I will follow you

You found a man trapped in a snow slide

I will follow you

We caught a polar bear alive

I will follow you

I’ve risked my life and reputation

You’re my best friend, I will follow you.

 

Off we go to the Levant and I, unwanted mendicant

Need you and gold

Patriarch of Antioch I cling by faith to Peter’s Rock

You can flee but I am bold

I will follow you

You are crucial to my scheming

I will follow you

You always need a verbal reaming

I will follow you

To free all of the Christian nations

There is nothing to you I won’t do.

 

more later…