From Cracked Magazine?? Can such things be? By the way it’s worth it just for the pix.
Category: Art
Golden Compass
Man, I wish I’d taken Patricia’s advice. They got precisely two things right; the girl who plays Lyra, who is perfectly cast, and the fight scene between the two armoured bears. Everything else sucked the business end of a Greyhound bus station men’s restroom mop. Fifteen minutes into the movie I was ready to challenge to mortal combat the (screamingly politically incorrect adjective herewith deleted) music department. I went to IMDB so I could abuse who wrote the soundtrack but it was written by a committee as best I can tell and all there is a ‘music coordinator’. The music was so badly timed to the action it’s like, “We’re going to put all the money on the screen and if the music is cheesier than a grindhouse porn soundtrack… nobody will notice.” Well I f*****g well did you morons, and if this movie cost 160 million to make and I have to watch it with the sound off because (while visually good) the script and soundtrack have me clapping my hands over my ears in horrified disbelief, you’ve not exactly got your money’s worth now have you. I turned to Keith as the credits rolled and said, “I am so happy I didn’t pay for that.” To which his response was a simple, “Ditto,” which concluded our discussion of the film.
In other news, I am corresponding with somebody from teh Craigslists whose pithy and entertaining posts are enlivening my life greatly. Usually I send a pic – or forward my blog link – and the guy changes his email address and leaves town. I can live in hope; this one hasn’t.
Xmas Antidotes
Xmas hate – ten reasons to not like it. Yes, the list is familiar, but there’s a sophomoric venom to it which I quite enjoy.
My ten favourite things about Christmas.
- Carols. Singing them. I don’t give a shit if I never HEAR another canned Christmas carol, but singing them is a different story.
- A string of dark blue incandescent lights along the roof line of a bungalow.
- Cooking up the turkey and having everybody go “ah!” when it comes to the table.
- Sitting around the homestead looking at old pictures with the family.
- Watching the Alastair Sims version of “A Christmas Carol”…. and turning on the TV just at the right time to catch the “Sisters” duet from White Christmas without having to watch the whole movie.
- Knowing that I will never again get exactly what I want for Christmas and being fine with that, because the gift part of Christmas really is for little people.
- Not having to beat the kids over the head anymore to write thankyou cards.
- Making biscotti all through the month of December and treating people at work.
- Listening to my father roar with laughter at the weather forecasts elsewhere in Canada.
- I always get cool books from Jeff.
Heart Heart Math humour
Power shop
Pic is of me and Patricia at the party. Hey nautilus3, recognize that jacket??? (honk, tweet, snicker).
So, between 12 and 2 today, I:
Booked the car and ran downstairs and threw a bag of to-be-recycled clothing in it; drove to Planet Bachelor (having phoned and ascertained that Paul wasn’t there and Keith was) and hung with Keith for about 20 minutes, also unloading two books of Paul’s that ended up over here, taking back Katie’s bag and cleaned clothes and Harry Potter VI and VII AND her volume 2 Strangers in Paradise and a couple of free movie tix for Keith AND Paul’s mickey of Ron Superior which I picked up for him in Santo Domingo; then went over to Highgate to the Liquor Store and picked up Saint Ambroise Apricot (I had no idea it was still available), Stella Artois and Lion Winter; dropped off the clothes at the Value Village on Edmonds and picked up a 20% off coupon; went into the store and picked out 4 dresses and bought 3 (all very frou frou, and one is Allegra brand, so that was a giggle – I had wanted to buy it in Costco 4 years ago and here it was for 6 bucks….), then drove like the hammers for the Bay where I ran up the escalator, located a coffee maker to replace the one I broke (set it on a stove burner and turned the wrong burner dial on, quelle morone), paid for it (and some unscented laundry detergent as an impulse buy at the checkout) and drove home. I really don’t think all that in two hours is too shabby.
Last night’s party continues to resonate. They said “eat first” but there were boatloads of food, all really nice substantial appies. Katie K and I wandered around the Georgia O’Keefe exhibit – the party was at the Vancouver Art Gallery. She was a remarkable artist, and a remarkable woman, and I think I’m going to look around for a decent bio of her. I think of all the stuff I saw last night that it was her cityscapes which I found most compelling. I have been trying to think of a word for her style, but I’ll have to use two words instead of one: recklessly beautiful.
Snide note. That fecking DJ couldn’t sync a beat worth beans.
The weather today is simply glorious. I was thinking of continuing cleaning, but I think I’ll go for a walk instead.
Tonight, orchestral music at the Orpheum. Katie K keeps exposing me to Kultur, and I trot meekly behind, trying like hell to look intelligent or keep up. Here she is at the party looking glamourous.
Ain’t it the truth
Been to parties like that.
Had a very pleasant conversation with a former coworker today. Man, if there is anything funnier than taking a return authorization for a refurbished product when the person you’re giving the return authorization to DESIGNED the product, it doesn’t exist in the tech world. AND we’re getting together for beers next week. I love the guy, but as much as he likes me, it isn’t THAT way. And I wish it was. He’s the nicest, funniest, smartest, classiest, techiest, artiest and bestest cookingest guy evar. Cute too, at least by my standards. One time, he made country style French apple pie when he had me and Paul over for dinner, and Paul and I were still making “Wasn’t that a pie!?” comments six months later. And he cooked us Pad Thai once, too. Mmmmmm.
My kind of crazy. From Fark.
It’s the strangest thing. I could not get my new TV to play DVDs back in colour no matter how hard I tried. It’s amazing what happens when you actually put the connectors in the right jacks. All is good now. You know what did it? I couldn’t STAND the idea of watching House without seeing Hugh Laurie’s blue eyes. He’s so incredibly yummy….
I now have the complete Asterix and Tin Tin comics. Long live digital media. I heart Obelix. I remember when the kids were little, and somebody said something supremely obvious, we’d all yell, “Does TinTin have a COWLICK??? Does Captain Haddock have a DRINKING PROBLEM???” and then we’d fall about laughing.
nautilus3’s radiation treatments have started. She’s about a quarter of the way through. Her continuing good humour is a great comfort to me. Life is still good!
Cats in an exercise wheel. I love Bengals.
Work work work
I used to have a picture of Kung Fu Mike, figleafed by a laptop but otherwise starkers, which had that title. I suspect it’s on the old computer back at Planet Bachelor; I must recover it at some point.
I had a very productive day yesterday, having drawn some of my bile during my long conversation with Patricia, and then I had a very pleasant evening with one half of the Minions of Loki, since we ate at the Penny, which is more or less halfway between her place and mine on Hastings. The Penny is the very model of a Chinese greasy spoon. I had sufficiency of leftovers for another two meals, yay.
I need help from a Mac geek to figure out why I am having problems with making my RAR or avi files run. I suspect a compression issue.
Saturday is the company Christmas party…. Katie K and I are going. She is planning on wearing a dress and getting an updo, which is a lot like saying Eddie Izzard has given up on high heels. I am trying to figure out how I’m supposed to acquire a second hand tux between now and then; I think it’s more likely I’ll just wear what I wore last year. It makes me look immensely fat and I have to take the whole thing off to take a whiz, but it’s comfy and dressier than what I normally sport… as Catherine once remarked, “Oh, Allegra, you dress like a grad student” which, considering I was raised by grad students, seems no stretch. As for the tux, I can picture the William Hamilton cartoon with a woman sporting a tux with no difficulty, which is probably why, besides the expense, I am resisting. There are apparently going to be Engineers in Tuxes at the Christmas (oh hell, the Company Holiday Cheer) party. The following Saturday we’ll be going to Katie K’s company holiday buntoss, the biggest difference being there are TWO free drink tokens, and people will be bringing dogs. I am OBVIOUSLY working for the wrong company.
Daughter Katie’s 19th passed without incident; Dax gave her a handmade plaque with her name on it, so it sounds like he was doing something to improve the shining hour while she was gone.
It’s been quite frosty up here in the mornings; walking to work has been an adventure.
By copy to Chipper, on the subject of Christmas songs, have you ever heard Dominic the Donkey? I think you have to be Italian to be familiar with it; Gianna at work exposed me to it and now I can’t get the little beggar out of my head. It’s all about how Santa has to deliver prezzies with a donkey because reindeer cannot climb ‘the hills of I-ta-ly!’. It was a new one on me.
Saturday will be a busy busy day for me, because the Dunnettfolk will be Spitting over at Jan’s that day. And Spits, as I must explain, are the names those events where Dunnett fans gather and eat and talk and drink and show slides of their trips to Dunnett places (like Iceland and the Orkneys and the west coast of Africa and Cairo and the Crimea and Russia and Bruges). My father’s eyes glazed over at gather.
Quelle Journee
I really DID NOT want to go to church today, but I decided, since I had booked the car, that I might as well run the errands and go to church as planned (actually, I didn’t even want to leave the apartment – but I’ve realized that this way lies madness).
SO.
First I get the trip logs out of the two cars at SFU. Then I go to church and cough up my pledge (and a mighty big hairball it was, too, and I still owe for last year). Then I go to Long & McQuade out by the Port Mann, and it’s closed. Then I go to the liquor store on Lougheed that’s open on Sundays and learn (yeep yeep yeep) that Winter Ale is BACK. I will leave it in the fridge for my return from Santo Domingo. Then I realize there is a Tom Lee (OPEN) on Barnet and poke my head in and leave poorer but with lots more mando stuff and a thingy that will allow me to put a strap on my guitar… and I bought a strap, too.
Then off to West Broadway to pick up travel stuff for the trip (inflatable cushions for the long damned trip, packs to hide passports in, Spanish phrase book, Lonely Planet Dominican Republic), then I dropped the trip logs off at CAN at Granville and Hastings, then I went home along Hastings and realize that I still haven’t ordered daughter Katie’s other other other birthday present, which is the complete Strangers in Paradise. They had 2, so I picked it up, and order the other trades 1 through 6. Came home to find some asshat had parked in my spot and had to put the Prius underground. Grr. Anyway, twas a busy day of much expenditure.
More Heroes
Portentous voiceovers. Black Hawk Down style soundtrack. Comic book sensibility. Really crappy attempt to make a back lot look like India. (v. disappointing for somebody from Vancouver…)
And yet I am up to episode six.
More Heroes
It’s really violent. It’s also really interesting. The show on DVD, that is.
It was great to see the principal from Buffy (7th season) back on TV. That guy is hottah than a two dollar pistol.
Dalai Moose
Yes, it’s a copyright picture. However, it’s too good not to repost.
Aislin ROCKS!
Weekend wrap up.
I can’t believe Pukka Orchestra didn’t make this list.
– this list will be food for arguments for the next dozens of years.
The church supper went great – as we are a caravan of faith at the moment, with no settled home (besides the Gathering Place), I now have dishes from the banquet to do. Fortunately I have a dishwasher ;). I also performed The Tapioca Song. The Beacon Home Companion was even better than last year, and that’s saying something. Don Hauka is a genius… There, I said it! And everybody else was wonderful too… Derek’s antics as “The Chalice” (the Unitarian Superhero) were wonderful as always.
Sometime today I will be getting the Quicktime version of the Tapioca Song video, and THEN I’ll post it to Youtube. Stay tuned, as they say. Katie K saw it yesterday and pronounced herself entertained.
Katie has moved back in with Paul and Keith and now is a resident of Planet Bachelor. She has her own bathroom too, the lucky stiff. I suspect she will greatly appreciate her new digs. Her boyfriend… for such he is, still, alas, has a couple of three inch souvenirs from the cop dogs who took him down last week. He has sworn to mend his ways. And I’m going to lose forty pounds by Christmas. I have seen Katie’s new tattoo, or at least the start of it. It is a foot long snake wrapped around a heart. (Fanboys note… it’s modelled after Katchoo’s tat from Strangers in Paradise)
On a happier note…. last night the four of us (me Paul Keith & Kate) did something we hadn’t done in the best part of a year. We watched a movie together! Cats crawled all over us purring happily! It was Les Misérables with Liam Neeson. I had to extend my booking on the car and then *&$^ forgot that I had to put gas in it, and then *&$*&! forgot to get a receipt so had to dash back for it. Didn’t get home until almost two. My weekend has thus far been enlivened by the existence of the progressive lenses perched on my nose. Driving was, as they say, interesting. I suppose I could have extended the booking and driven out to Richmond to participate in filking at VCon but not even the prospect of vixy and Tony performing her stellar “Mal’s Song” could make me want to drive out there. I’ll get a report in the fullness of time from Tom and Peggy. Vcon of course has been rendered more interesting, at least in terms of GETTING there, by that 82 year old dude flying his plane into a building three blocks from the Con hotel….
My apartment is a disaster but unfortunately, as I was trying to wind down from my yesterday in the wee sma’s this morning, I picked up Gene Wolfe’s Shadow of the Torturer and, well, like that. I’m not sure how much housework I’ll be doing today. Especially since my laundry’s done. At first the book annoyed the snot out of me, and now I can’t put it down. There’s one of the most succinct arguments for atheism I’ve ever seen in it. Hey, this is fair use, isn’t it?
From Chapter VIII of the Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe, 1980. Thecla, a courtesan, speaks:
“One can’t found a novel theology on Nothing, and nothing is so secure a foundation as a contradiction. Look at the great successes of the past – they say their deities are the masters of all the universes, and yet that they require grandmothers to defend them, as if they were children frightened by poultry. Or that the authority that punishes no one while there exists a chance for reformation will punish everyone when there is no possibility anyone will become the better for it.”
As soon as I hear from the videographer, I’m going to head off to RCH to visit somebody from work who’s in hospital, unless she’s home already, in which case I’ll try to call her.
v cool picture
Doris Lessing won the Nobel Prize for literature!!!
Here’s a pic of the dear old thing.
I don’t really fly my literary rag too often on these pages, but Doris Lessing had a big influence on what I think is important in literature. She said things like “The way they teach literature is verkockt, and here’s why,” and “Read any book that comes in front of you and unless you’re being forced to read it for school, put it down if you don’t like it within a few pages.” And she blew off the top of my head with the Golden Notebook, and the Marriages Between Zones Three Four and Five, and Briefing for a Descent into Hell, and then Love, Again.
I dunno how Harold Bloom (the pompous arse) could trash her winning this award so hard. Love Again was so AMAZING, the whole book rang like a gong in me, and I’ve reread it half a dozen times now because I keep finding new stuff in it. He says that the Nobel Prize was for pure political correctness, and that’s bullshit. It’s for a body of work that will stand for a long, long time. People are still reading Kristin Lavransdottir… why not Shikasta, a hundred years from now?
When I stand at the entrance of a new book, I say, “Take me someplace I haven’t been.” I’ve gotten that in multiplicity from Doris Lessing.
Google – is stupid the new evil?
Google is sucking these days….
A reason to go to Ottawa…. (I mean, what the hell kind of country pays for public art that will scare the bejasus outta small kids and arachnophobes).
In family news, the elephant has decided to sit on pOp’s chest again. This means medical attention, which entirely sucks. In further family news, the surgical drain has been removed from my mother, who’s damned happy about this improvement in her well being.
I watched Stargate Atlantis for the first time last night. The script had me pecking a bit, but the charm of the personalities shone through nevertheless. Finished up a re-rendered copy of Robinson Crusoe on Mars (does Paul Mantee EVER have nice body hair! Yowza!). Watched a Family Guy episode all the way through (1st time ever) and laughed my ass off. Hitler juggling three fish on a unicycle? Instant hysteria! Why? Mostly, says Jeff, it’s the snippet of music that goes with it.
We finished de junking the kitchen, dealt with the linen closet and itemized all the furniture for Geek House, as well as figuring out some stuff for storage, Craigslist, etc… I hardly took any cooking stuff when I left the Augur Inn, so I did grab a couple of small boxes of stuff – they will all get merged back into Geek House but I can use it in the meantime.
Today, we see Unca Barry and Auntie Mary and go for dinner with my parents – if they can lever themselves away from the emergency room. Yeah, I know I sound like I don’t give a shit. I am concerned and anxious, but how does that help?