Settler words&music in S'ólh Téméxw, (leanpub.com/upsun) living where privilege meets precarity in MST country. she/her/they———– Novels: Midnite Moving Co., Upsun; Sweep Off Those Waves coming soon, Hair Sinister after that. —Restore All Indigenous Lands!
Keith and Paul and Jeff and ScaryClown and I had a whole salmon and garlic bread and salad for dinner. No dessert but blueberries.
It was really pleasant; we ate on the back deck in the dying sun and watched ScaryClown get along really well with Gizmo, and we played Youtube Bingo after supper, and that was loads of fun too.
I light a candle for my beloved worksibling Tanya’s grandmother, who passed at RCH today. Go gentle across the rainbow bridge, elder.
Ahem. So I get this cryptomundo text message from Katie saying that she’s been living in a horror movie. OF COURSE I immediately assume that it’s Dax, and it very plainly turns out not to be, in fact, Dax behaved with more calmness and civility than anyone could credit him with, considering that a guy with a dirty great knife was alternately trying to stab him and kick his door and his HEAD in. End result. One of Dax’s roommates is homeless, with about 7 criminal charges pending, Katie is fine except for the strained muscles you always seem to get when some drunken animal is trying to kill you with a knife, Dax had to have stitches, the culprit had to have reconstructive surgery because he was so fecked he sliced himself across the tendons in three fingers. Katie is here, helping me cook spaghetti and vibrating gently. Dax put his life on the line, literally, defending Katie, and has been the soul of gentlemanly courtesy since, so I am much obliged to him.
The perp is an ex drug addict (now just a drunk) who is normally a really sweet guy. He also has brain damage from having been electrocuted and he was already on disability. Oh yeah.
Katie and Dax cleaned up the house. There were apparently torrents of blood… I’m debating whether to ask Dax for his cell phone footage, as he filmed what the place looked like afterwards. Schadenfreude, anyone?
It takes me about 3 – 6 weeks to get used to a ‘new normal’. Jeff and I have a pretty good understanding on how the day’s going to go, and who does what. When I moved into the place up the hill it took about six weeks before I was sleeping properly – and I was still in the same bed, just in a different place. Now I can see all kinds of change brewing – at work, at home, creatively, and I am swinging wildly between being productive and ‘like a stunned bird in the reeds’ to quote Dunnett for the nine thousandth time, partly because I want the period of adjustment to be over and partly because I feel apprehensive. What if there’s no new normal? What if every day turns into a struggle? My normal cheerfulness seems to be leaking away, or maybe I’m working on a migraine. It’s such a drag when you know you can’t trust your own brain chemistry, and it’s hopeless trusting other people’s.
Well, it’s a good thing people who have been there have written to us out of the past. Keeping your humanity in extremis is the sign of a good human being. That’s when I need to be more compassionate, more generous, and more hardworking. And that’s what I hate about the ‘new normal’ I see coming, because I am one sorry and irritable sack of grudges and that’s no way to be, whether things are going bad or not.
I rented the car today and I’ll be running errands. I bailed on volunteering for the Folk Festival (they only called me two days before – this after I’d sent an email a week ago bowing out – and I did NOT want to work Gate in teh boiling sun).
Katie’s coming back from the grands’ today or tomorrow. I have a few ideas.
Keith was here last night. Most of the time I don’t mind being close to the bathroom, but not when my only son is heaving about $30 worth of Bushmills into the john. That’s SIPPING whiskey, not PUKING whiskey. Sigh. He wanted to find out where his limit was. How many times have I lectured the kids about pacing themselves? Patricia knows what happened the last time I didn’t pace myself – she and her buddy Dave had to haul me home from the Rowing Club. Sigh. At Baumfest I paced myself MUCH better, and ate more and drank less. Gotta have those carbs, lining the gut, before you start.
Made waffles for Jeff, seeing as how I’m home today.
Think I’ll call Tamara at Tenplus. I haven’t recorded a video professionally in ages, and I want to put something else on youtube. That or a home made video about making biscotti. There have been real jackass comments on my vids on youtube lately; Jeff warned me, as he has vids up as well, and he says the moron factor is extreme.
Ack, gotta get up and close the back door to keep the cigarette smoke out.
I need my teeth cleaned, my 2007 taxes filed, a massage, and I somehow doubt it’s all going to happen today. What’s really going to happen today is errands. And with any luck, fetching Kate from the ferry. When people you love are in pain, you want to do something practical. Or pretend it isn’t happening. That seems to work for me sometimes too.
At 1:30 this morning I fell out of bed. I landed painlessly on the floor (I was rolling over, and I just kept going), and lay there for a second, disoriented and wondering if I’d woken the whole house up. Given that the dryer was running, I guessed not so much. Now it’s quarter to three and I really wish I could go back to sleep, but I’ve been lying awake for an hour and decided to get up when a) I cracked my lower back so loud it rang around the room like a gunshot (never done that before) and b) I realized I just wasn’t going to do the usual, which is fall right back asleep again whenever I wake up. Then the inertnests called, and I found this photographic gem off reddit.
Mailed puppy pics off to Chipper yesterday at lunch. I met Robof9, Francis, ScaryClown and somebody else from work going out on a nature walk just as I was getting back from the Post Office up the hill. Came home after an interesting day full of portents of the future and prepared part of supper – Jeff grilled salmon on the bar-b-q, and it was yummy.
It took 20 hours to convert the entire dvd from dvd format to mp4 format. It worked perfectly – but too slow. Anyway, after much agony, I can edit down the puppies and kids video. Part of me wants to kill the audio portion of it, which consists of, in a very boring way, Allegra saying, “Put the puppy down, put him down, put her down, put the puppy down, Keith don’t do that, that’s ignorant, Katie, sit down, put the puppy down, put the puppy down.” But I will avoid the temptation to do that. I can haz patience.
Continue reading 20 hours and some thoughts about anger and hair.
I did a massive laundry last weekend, but I didn’t do laundry this weekend, because I was feeling lazy, and because I fell into the Huff continuum. What a great show! The scripts and situations are amazing, the acting convincing, and I think I have a crush on Oliver Platt. I mean Hank Azaria is cool upon cool, but it’s Oliver I enjoy watching the most. He’s just SO over the top. When two little (as in very very short, not young) hookers turn up to assist a character (a sitcom star played by Bob Saget, can you picture it?) the expressions that cross his face as he tells them (in effect) “Your client isn’t here, can I help you?” deserve Emmys.
Meadow wandered into the house again only this time she went straight for the bowls. I have pix, but not high quality ones – and here’s one. She really really likes Jeff! I have a great picture of Jeff petting her after absentmindedly putting a waffle in his mouth to free his hands- she’s eyeing the waffle hopefully – but I’m going to email it to Jeff and see if he wants to post it. I wish nothing to impede the current flow of domestic tranquillity…..
Keith here yesterday; I spoke to Katie on the phone; all’s well with the world, except she’s really angry and doesn’t know what to do about it (this represents an improvement over previous emotional palettes in similar sitches). Oh, and I spoke to my old friend Liz, not likely previously mentioned in this blog, and she and her brood are doing fine. She and Andy are alone in the house… the youngest, 17, and as she puts it, in the full flower of his young louthood (she quickly said this was a quote from Lawrence Sanders as I fell about laughing when these words passed her lips) is in Calgary with his older brother and the girlchild is off west as well. Needless to say she has the back of her hand pressed firmly to her forehead at this family tradegy. Oh, and I spoke to my ex-mother-in-common-law yesterday and she’s well too. Just because things have changed doesn’t mean I shouldn’t call her once in a while, and she made my heart burst with pride when she mentioned Keith had phoned her to thank her for the birthday gift.
Isn’t she adorable? If I could adopt her I would do it in a heartbeat, the cats are practically adjusted to her already.
As has come to be traditional on Sunday morning, I make up a big pot of coffee and a big batch of waffles. I contemplate the waffle iron, which is close to me in age and still functional, although rather beat up, and I think to myself, do they still make bakelite? Because it’s pretty cool stuff, and quite durable. Kitchen appliances just aren’t made as they used to be, and I wish that would change.
Meadow came upstairs yesterday afternoon; it was good to see her. She was happy to see me, but as soon as she saw Jeff she came over all puppy, twisting around with happiness to see him. Critters sure love Jeff.
It was hot enough in here yesterday that the air conditioner came on – Jeff has it set for 26 degrees.
I am contemplating elective surgery on my face (my eyelids are hanging so low I can hardly see) and elsewhere; details, no.
drfilk was over for dinner (beef stew, diced tomato salad and garlic bread). He and Lady Miss Banjola are rehearsing for Denvention – they have an hour long concert – and also recording with Tony in Seattle in August. w00t!
Jeff has introduced me to the works of Daniel Pinkwater. I particularly liked Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy from Mars and Young Adult Novel.
I called my m0m to check up on Katie, but Katie was out running errands with Alex and Darwin. I can’t even be worried about her if she’s at her grandma’s – all I can do is think kindly thoughts, towards everyone involved, and hope for the best. A special shoutout to Paul for being there for Katie
Today will be a lazy/slash/domestic kind of day, and maybe if it stays quiet I’ll try to record something.
I feel mellow and contented, and it’s great to sit in the bright sun in the kitchen.
That is all.
Well, another Baumfest has come and gone, and it had the same combination of grace, rowdiness, drunken declarations of undying love, music and yummy foods and beverages as have characterized all such. Continue reading ahhhhh, Baumfest
I won’t be posting until after I get home from Mission tomorrow; it’s time for the festival out there with my current and previous coworkers, including no fewer than two bosses, and which involves stringed instruments, alcohol and the World’s Best Campfireâ„¢. Continue reading Off to Mission.
My m0m and Jeff have toiled tirelessly at the family website, so I posted a pic and commented on one of m0m’s posts to her blog (she’s blogging, ha) this morning.
Thomas Disch is dead. He was despondent after the death of his life partner, being thrown out of his rent-controlled apartment, and he did not have medical insurance. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… how can people with the intelligence and industry of the Americans not look after their people? It’s as if the Christianity of the prairie populists in Canada, which spoke with such power and persuasiveness about how medical care for all would make Canada a better place, could never penetrate the I got mine style of Christianity so popular south of the border. What a world. Anyway he’s gone, and he had a really cool Livejournal where he posted really good poetry. I left an RIP there.
I pushed him out 22 years ago today. I’d do it again in a heartbeat…. good thing I don’t have to! Them’s were exciting times.
Not much to report except I am reacting to some pollen currently in the air. I just get real tired and want to shut my eyes, and then when I wake up they’re stuck shut. Keith and Jeff and I watched Transporter last night. Jason Statham has the kind of bod to make a gay guy drum his foot on the ground and howl and a straight gal to skip thoughts of dinner and drinks and head straight for the procreative activities. The movie was fun enough.
I guess, apart from the Ongoing Irritations, of which I blog so consistently, my life is pretty good right now. I’m working on three choons simultaneously, including one which started with Paul saying, “I have this nice chord progression – see if you can keep up!” which was not at all what happened in real life but gets to the point swiftly and it sure got me doing things with the mandolin I’ve never done before. Musically, thanks.
There was also an incredible amount of watching family videos this weekend. One entire dvd – like 90 minutes – is Katie running around in a diaper (a cloth diaper held together with Snibbs, I note cheerfully) followed with the all seeing eye of her adoring grandpa, who lenses her beating up computers, playing ‘incredible baby monster’ which was a game she and Keith used to play, being thrown around like six big beanbags sewn together by yours truly, being cuddled by two different adoring grandmas, and in general being active and in a good mood. At the very end of the tape she gets stuffed into a snowsuit and stands there like a Barbie pink version of the Michelin Tire Man. I look like I’m having a good time, too, which is pleasant. Then there is the before and after video of the plane crash we were in when I was pregnant with Katie. Erk. There’s a beautiful landing on Lake Weslemkoon, and then grainy, dark video, illuminated by the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles, trying to recover the aircraft and get Buttonville Airport open again. I came as close to dying that night – that I know of – as I ever did so far. I’d forgotten there was video. That was sobering.
I spent about six fruitless hours trying to get the dvds onto my hard drive in a format I can edit. I know it’s possible, but with my combo of software, native wit and input from Jeff, it still didn’t work, so my idear of getting a friend some pix from the old days is not working – I’ll have to copy the entire thing. I also commented on a detective novel I was given a couple of weeks ago. That took about a six hour chunk out of my weekend too – I was busy… really busy this weekend. I was so busy that when I literally thought Saturday was Sunday when I was talking to Jeff …. he looked at me Like I Am Crazy, which is a fairly common occurence around here.
I did four loads of laundry AND put it away. I made banana chocolate hazelnut muffins, and they are SO fine. I saw Wall-E with Jeff, Paul and the kids. We ate Thai afterwards. We had no trouble finding parking (I really like the 5th Ave). I had a good weekend.
Oh… I suppose I should review Wall-E. Please see it on the big screen if you can. It’s a great piece of family entertainment. It starts out with the single most brilliant cartoon I’ve ever seen (I’m going to have to watch it about a hundred times to get all the timing and set up) about a magician named Presto Digitatione and his wascally wabbit. I laughed SO HARD watching this that I was entirely astounded. If I tell you that, knowing what I know, I’d pay the same amount of money to see Presto again that I paid to get into Wall-E, would you run out and see both movies? Believe the hype. I didn’t even know about Presto before I went to see Wall-E. It will take you to that magic space you inhabited the first time you watched What’s Opera Doc or Duck Amuck. And it does it all without a word of dialogue. Man, does Pixar know animation!
Wall-E has plot holes the size of a garage, but you and anybody you go with won’t care. It’s a lovely movie
Coffee’s ready… time to really get a start on the day.
I have a large number of reasons to be contented at any time, but right now I’m happy because I have watched a whole bunch of family video from when the kids were little – with the kids, Paul and Dax. Hell, he’s my son-in-common-law now, and if his behaviour has cleaned up perforce mine must too. We had breakfast and then watched almost half an hour of Katie (naked – I guess that makes the video two words I’m not going to put in this post so I don’t get trawled for it) and Keith (clothed, thanks) frolicking with puppies at Red Deer Lodge. The entire soundtrack consists of me saying things like, “Put the puppy down. Put her down. Keith, don’t do that, that’s just ignorant.” Anyway, Dax laughed his ass off at some of Katie’s antics, so yup, it was a happy morning.
Keith said, while running a puppet show, that his master (he was playing a dog) behaved in a silly fashion. I said, “It sounds like your master doesn’t have many brains,” to which his hilarious response was, “Well he does, but they don’t work very well.” Who among us, etc.
Also, and this is kinda gross, Katie and Paul and I dealt with the powerful stench of cat urine in the front hallway. The difference is miraculous, and although a couple of pairs of shoes and one rug and one piece of furniture had to be sacrificed, ainsi soit-il.
Now, I think Paul and I are going to finally get down to what it was I was supposed to be over here for today, namely, singing and playing. First – beer. Then chaffing each other about what we’ll play. Then back to Geekhaven Beta for dins with Jeff.
Tomorrow, Wall-E. Or so we hope. It is, after all, Keith’s 22nd birthday upcoming and a sappy family oriented movie is just what the doc ordered. If he’s free, I’ll take him out to someplace expensive for dinner this week. PS, his job is going famously. He’s learning stuff hand over fist, his bank balance is going to improve markedly, his coworkers are all congenial, and he’s part of a team. How could I not be a very contented mom today.